I am seriously considering taking up prostitution as a second job; I honestly think I can handle it as I like sex of any kind. I plan on strictly condoms only, and for 2 or 3 nights a week. I have sent some messages to agencies, but I don’t have an ID so they won’t hire me, and I have no idea how to get to know the girls on the street.
I can’t really give you any advice about street work, because I’ve never done it; frankly, I’m not sure I could handle it. Some girls prefer street work for its simplicity and lack of need for advertising, but it’s also much more dangerous and the chance of being arrested is much higher because if clients can find you, so can cops. I must point out, however, that there are other alternatives besides working for agencies and working on the street; the majority of sex workers nowadays simply place independent ads (for example on Backpage) and/or advertise themselves by participating on message boards. If you have a smartphone you can take pictures pretty easily, and since most clients pay extra attention to new girls in an area you can get started very quickly. This approach also has the advantage of letting you see how other girls advertise and taking lessons from them (both in what to do and what not to do). Even if you don’t have a credit card to pay for ads, message-board advertising is generally free and it gives you the added bonus of being able to chat with other ladies. If you don’t want to deal with ads at all, you could try to find work in a massage parlor, which has the advantage of being very regular job-ish (in the sense that you work at a specific place for set hours), but one of the same disadvantages as street work: it’s really easy for the cops to find you.
Before you decide which way to proceed, I suggest you look at the “mentoring” section of my “Previously Asked Questions” page, especially “What advice do you have if I want to start working immediately?” And one more thing: you say “I plan on condoms only”, as though you had an option to do otherwise; please let me assure you that you don’t. You must absolutely use a condom, every time, no matter how “clean” a client looks nor how much he offers you to go without. There is no way of knowing for sure who might have an STI, and HIV is still not curable; it’s simply not worth the risk to you and your clients. When it comes to sex a large fraction of men are completely irrational, and will take risks despite knowing better; it is therefore incumbent on you to insist that unprotected sex is simply not an option no matter what a client says.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
worries me that she thinks the reason to do it is liking sex.
I think she meant she’d take the job seriously & wouldn’t hate it.
I think it’s already understood by everyone who isn’t a feminist puritan that this is a high-paying field of work.
That’s how I read it, too. My main concern was that she seemed to be naive about the negative aspects, which is why I urged her to read my “mentoring” section – which mentions quite a few of them.
Yeah, thats what I meant, how are your people skills, admin, street smarts, how well do you read people, manage threatening situations, other than condoms she seems to have given no thought to safety or other aspects of the job. Mentoring seems very wise
I don’t want to scare people away from sex work, but I certainly do want them to give serious consideration to things like rape, police violence, creepy clients, etc.
This is the only ethical approach. Most occupations have serious dangers and health risks. Work is unhealthy in general. People need to be aware of the details. That is _not_ a reason to avoid specific occupations (and prostitution is really not different in any regard I can see), but to minimize harm and and maximize job satisfaction.
I wouldn’t read too much into that. That statement could infer a lot of things.
Only people I know who can’t get an ID are illegals or minors. If she’s not one of those then she CAN get an ID and I would strongly encourage her to do so rather than jumping out on the streets. If she only wants 2 or 3 nights – that’s probably easy for her to line up through other more “indoor” methods of escorting.
When the State of Louisiana had screwed up my driver’s license computer record, I couldn’t get an official state ID of any kind from early 1997 to early 2001. I was actually in the process of suing the state to force them to fix the problem when a friendly DMV lady fixed it for me. However, the issue is still affecting my “official” government records to this day. So yeah, there are citizens who CAN’T get ID, even though I obviously don’t know if the questioner is one of them. And the more requirements the state requires for ID (as in these ridiculous “real ID” laws), the larger that segment who are permanently condemned to an ID-less underclass will be.
Ugh. I just got a notice from the DMV about those. I am *not* a fan of ID regs, and especially not a fan of the de-facto forms of ID we’re stuck with in the U.S. (driver’s license and SSN mostly). I’ve never had a problem getting what I needed, but I’ve known people who have.
Now I have to go sit in line for irrelevant paperwork. Woo.
I cannot conceive of having unprotected sex with a stranger, even though I’m a man. One of my first thoughts when the opportunity for sex became likely was “I need to have a condom on me” (so I didn’t have to worry about STDs or pregnancy, or even ask my partner about the contraception she used). I would run away (I think) from a prostitute who offered unprotected sex (“no condom, no deal”). The condom hate is characteristic of the sexual repression that plagues the USA. So I’ll repeat what Maggie said: don’t even think of [i]not[/i] using a condom.
You’re spot on with that.
Although I WILL say this … condoms sure do suck. brother. When I played baseball we had a lead-filled bat that we’d swing around when we were “on deck” to warm up for our turn at the plate.
Condoms are like that lead bat … only you’re being forced to actually step up to the plate and hit the ball with it. I can knock a “homer” with a regular bat … but a lead one? A single at best and I just might get thrown out at first base. The “Krulac Experience” is heaps better for the girl when I’m “au naturel” You just don’t have the distraction of this “thingie” and worrying that it will come off and GOD KNOWS where it will be when it comes off and what it’ll take to get it out of there! Plus, insemination is a REAL motivator for me and the cover kind of kills that. And I haven’t even mentioned the lack of sensation – which, goddam gets worse as I get older! LOL
I’ve never worried about a condom slipping off or found it a distraction. But I’ve never had sex without one, so I have no idea how I will react once I’ve tried.
Indeed, for those of us who grew up in the era of Hepatitis C and HIV, correctly using a condom is the default setting, not an irritating imposition…
this makes you sound like one of the many, many assholes who contact the ladies and try to negotiate for BBFS. I hope you get tested regularly
Wow, that makes you sound like one of the many, many assholes who complain about things that weren’t actually there. Like, completely missing the first line where he totally approves of ALWAYS USING A CONDOM under those circumstances.
The opinion that this state of affairs is unfortunate is separate. And I agree on all counts. It’s an utterly necessary thing, and that it’s utterly necessary totally sucks. Or rather, it would be utterly necessary if I were having sex with anyone other than my wife, but I’m not, so yay
Thank you for calling her out on this.My hackles raised to high heaven, my eyes rolled, my chest heaved…. I’m sure she’s not the only amateur, especially those who are jumping in now, who are approaching sex work with the mindset of the stereotypes they see on teevee.
I find the lack of id concerning myself, especially since a person can buy fake id that can pass a non professional inspection online. Teens do it all the time to get into clubs.
If I was to go to work for an agency again that is what I would do. As to her going out on her own that would likely result in her getting caught in a sting and a conviction. Screening is an art that takes time to master. Mentoring is the best way to learn the ropes. One mistake equals being branded for life. That is a fact.