An obligatory “gift” of a certain expected value which must be presented at a certain time in order to retain a woman’s sexual favors is not a love offering, but rather a whore’s fee. – “St. Valentine’s Day”
Regular readers know that I don’t care much for Valentine’s Day, mostly because it’s so nakedly hypocritical but also because, as I explained last year,
…while all the others are inclusive, this one is exclusive. Holidays are times for friends, families and others to gather and celebrate together, but Valentine’s Day festivities (except, perhaps, for polyamorists) are exactly the opposite. Lovers tend to seek every available excuse to be alone together anyway; it hardly seems necessary to set aside a special day for that, especially one on which the show is celebrated above the substance.
In fact, I like the classical Roman Lupercalia much better; dudes running around naked and hitting women with whips seems to me a much more exciting way to celebrate than being given a box of chocolates I can’t eat without worrying about my waistline. Even most Valentine images are annoying or even creepy, which is why I like the little kitten one above so much. SEE HOW CUTE IT IS??? Major, major cute. 7.5 on the Richter scale of cuteness. And therefore one of the few I can stand. Starting next year, I’ll be generating my own images for this occasion, but until then you’ll have to settle for…no, I can’t say it; some puns are just too awful, even for a Valentine.
VALENTINES DAY HAS BEEN TOO HALLMARKIZED. AND THEY START PUTTING OUT THE CANDY AFTER NEW YEARS. THANKS FOR YOUR DAILY COLUMN THAT GIVES A NEW SLANT TO LOVE AND ROMANE.
The remains of St Valentine are in Dublin, should you wish to pay your respects or request favours:
http://www.carmelites.ie/stvalentine.html
LOL…y’know, the longer I read you, Maggie, the more I suspect you share the same touch of what my 52-year-old wife realized about five years ago has made her so different from most women all her life, Asperger’s.
Typically, Aspie women’s bio-wiring results in them processing life through the rational centers of the brain rather than with what might be called the emotional centers of the brain, meaing Aspie women tend to be exceptionally logical and objective.
Aspie women are statistically more intelligent than average; they tend to be very honest, even tactlessly so at times, since rationality and reason are primary for them; they are often very open-minded; and because they major in objectivity and rationality, they often ignore or outright reject social norms and societal standards (such as sexual norms), concluding them to be arbitrary and contrived, so invalid.
Which brings me to Valentine’s Day. As my wife has long thought (by the way, we’re married 35 years with several now-adult daughters and sons; for a few years during our marriage, she has used sex work to supplement our income; and we have what amounts to an open marriage), how can something be accepted as a sincere gesture of heartfelt love or affection when it’s only because “well, I have to, because, after all, it’s Valentine’s Day”?
Did anything historical ever actually happen on St. Valentine’s Day, other than the massacre?
It was the day St. Valentine died.
In Japan, it is the women who buy candy and gifts for the men; well, that’s half the story anyway…
The other half is White Day. But I can’t link to the song. Somebody asserted copyright, which they can do of course. So I have nothing to link to. I feel sad. I need a hug.
“… but until then you’ll have to settle for…no, I can’t say it; some puns are just too awful, even for a Valentine.”
Oh, heck, NOW I get it, hahahaha! “Have to settle for — a PEN” ! A PEN !! “PEN”, like in PEN–is, right ? *snicker, giggles, snicker, hehehehehee!*
Good thing I knew what that pussy had got a hold around, else I’d never got inside that (pun, I meant), right?!
It was too subtle for me to get either.
I was awfully tempted to mention the “whore’s fee” angle in Megan McArdle’s comment section today. She apparently believes that Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to give your beloved… an ultimatum.
Oh, maaaannnnn…I really tried, but I finally couldn’t avoid snarking on THAT comment thread. *sighs*