Though the women of Femen defend their own right to use their bodies as swords, they wish to deny other women the right to use theirs as plowshares. – “A War for Peace”
By May of 2011 I was normally about 10-14 columns ahead; I know this because I mentioned it in “Extra, Extra!”, one of the first signs that my established system of update and miscellanea columns was starting to break down (another was that they were nearly always multi-part now, this month three and two respectively). But while I was writing them in advance, I still waited to post them until after breakfast each day; I didn’t start posting them upon writing and letting WordPress do the work until later in 2011. Certain patterns had developed over time; for example, update columns were usually near the beginning of the month and miscellanea near the middle, while Q & A was either on the last day of the month or close to it. The harlotographies (this month Nell Gwyn) had not yet settled into the five-week pattern they reached by autumn, and the fictional interludes (this month’s was “Necessity”) still bounced about quite a bit, but at least the holidays were predictable: this month saw “May Day” and “Another Friday the Thirteenth”, plus “Maman” (a reminiscence on my paternal grandmother) on Mother’s Day.
That wasn’t the only column on my childhood that month; “Wild Child” appeared the day before, and “Heroines” (all about my love of comic books) the week after. And while we’re on the subject of superheroes, I discussed a real-life group of them in “Real Heroes”, providing a sharp contrast to the federal prosecutor and her assistant who imagine themselves as such in “Where Are the Victims?” That month was full of deranged control freaks who envision themselves as heroes, such as the cops in “Clueless Wonders” the crusading Puritans in “A Procrustean Bed” and the super Swedish saleswomen selling sleazy snake oil in “Sales Pitch”. Many of them were neofeminists: in “A War for Peace” they used their sex appeal to stop other women from doing the same; in “A Fantasy of Hate” they defined most of the human race as “rape supporters”; in “Another Example of Swedish ‘Feminism’” they “rescued” a young woman from “false consciousness” by expelling her from university; and in “No Fun Shall Be Had” they destroyed a respected physician’s career to save womynkind from dumb jokes. Some of them even have magical powers: in “Projection” neofeminists turn sexual women into “living embodiments of their sick obsession with humiliation, rape and degradation”; in “Chupacabra” fetishists turn starving, mangy curs into mighty predators; in “Harm Magnification” governments turn ordinary people into “criminals” with the stroke of a pen; and in “Conjuration” the Great Holderini produces thousands of “child sex slaves” out of thin air.
Finally, rounding out the month were “The Eye of the Beholder” (containing my famous spinach analogy); “Parable” (which describes a country where restaurants are illegal); “New Reviews for May” (The Pyx, Soylent Green and Three Felonies a Day); and “Validation”, in which an economist realizes that most competent sex workers prefer not to be confined to Nevada brothels.
Damn … thanks for posting that pic of Deidre Hall. I was 14 when Electrawoman appeared on TV. Between her and Linda Carter (Wonder Woman) … they both got me through puberty. No other chick would help me with that until I was 17 (when a much older “saint” of a woman came along to relieve me of my misery). Puberty was as bad for me as “Pon Farr” was for Spock. Weren’t no high speed internet porn back then and I had no place to stash a Playboy magazine without it being discovered – and no way to get ahold of one. So it was Linda Carter, Deidre Hall, and the JC Penny mail-order magazine’s women’s underwear section.
I didn’t even really know where a woman’s vagina was located back then. I remember believing it was located on the front of the pubic mound. When I finally saw one – I was a little shocked and wondered how I would get to it.
I think that’s where I got my love of chicks with hips. I used to just marvel at Linda and Deidre’s hips and the way they moved in those tight costumes.
Yeah, being a dude is tough sometimes – especially through puberty when you don’t think about a thing else other than girls. But man – on the other hand – wanting and loving something as beautiful as chicks are is a feeling so great I can’t describe it.
“Deidre” and “Linda” are still two of my favorite female names.
how could you possible have missed Erin Gray in Buck Rogers. Same era with more spandex. BTW, I have seen Erin Gray recently at a couple of science fiction convictions and she still gets my motor revving some 25 years later
I left out Erin Gray because I can’t remember ever arm-wrestling the purple helmeted storm trooper while thinking about her. Heh … LOL!
“Wonder Woman” was 1975 … “Electra Woman” was ’76. Krulac was untouched virgin territory back then.
Buck Rogers came along in ’79 … I checked IMDB … and it was late ’79 and that was right after I “lost it” … and still during the time when that lady was “educating” me. That only lasted a month or so though – but she taught me a few things about girls – and told me I’d have to get out of the Baptist town I was living in to find “willing” girls. So, baby – I was on the HUNT after that – and big time! Too busy for Erin Gray and her spandex – that’s for sure. By that time I had a Datsun B210 car and Krulac was a fast moving “unit”. Not a very successful one at that point, mind you … but I was determined to get the knack!
I will admit … Erin Gray was hot … and she still is. 😀
I turned 10 in 79 so I was just discovering that girls weren’t icky, contrary to previous opinion. Wonder woman would have been before my time. I can look at the pictures and be impressed. As for Electra woman-never heard of it, of course at the time I only had 3 channels on TV and this was in Canada so none of them were US networks
I only had three channels growing up too!
Deidra “Electra Woman” Hall can still be found playing Dr. Marlena Brady maybe-changed-the-last-named-since-I-watched-in-the-late-Eighties on the soap opera Days of Our Lives. I’m not sure what happened to Dyna Girl, who was a cutie in her own right.