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Diary #814

Axel has been slowly improving where Speck is concerned; if she crosses the floor while I’m in the room, he just watches her intently but doesn’t move toward her.  And every time she completes a back-and-forth I tell him he’s a good boy and give him a treat.  But it’s much harder to train a dog to refrain from doing something than it is to train him to do something, so progress has been slow.  But last week, we hit three landmarks.  On Tuesday, CenturyLink finally sent someone to fix my internet (it was a corroded wire in the node out in the lane), and when the technician came into the house Axel barked at him once, smelled him, and then was calm for the rest of the time.  Then on Wednesday, I had to go to Seattle; I left him outside when I left at 11 AM, had Chekhov come by about 4 to feed the farm animals and let Axel into the house, and then he was alone until I got home about 11 PM.  He was pretty excited when I got back, but I was able to calm him quickly and there were no signs he had acted up (chased Speck or torn anything up) while I was gone for about 4x as long as I’ve ever left him before.

But the best was late Friday night; he was with me on the sofa while I was watching my show, then around midnight he had to go out.  He was gone for a while, probably doing poo-poo, and while he was out Speck came and sat on my lap, then moved to the arm of the sofa.  When he came back in, he got back in his spot, and though he kept looking at her he didn’t lunge or growl or anything else.  I stayed there a while between them, petting them both, then eventually got up to check my social media one last time before bed, and took this picture during that time.  He kept looking at her and occasionally at me, but did nothing bad for about an hour, at which point Speck decided to go back into Grace’s room.  And of course I praised and rewarded him.  Then Sunday night they got even closer; Speck came to cuddle with me on the sofa while Axel was right next to me, less than an arm’s length away.  So I think we’re getting there; as of Sunday I’ve lowered his trazodone to 75mg/day, and I’ll keep it there until the beginning of March.  And within a few more months I think he will complete his transition from nervous wreck to happy, well-adjusted puppy dog.

Imbolc 2026

May the reawakening of the world bring with it the reawakening of good things you thought gone forever.  Blessed Be!

Links #813

Get back in the game, or I’ll shoot you.  –  Andrew Lawson

Due to the plethora of guillotine memes that have populated social media since the current guillotine-worthy regime took power, I’ve often thought of this song, but it was the recent death of Brigitte Bardot which finally moved me to feature it.  The links above the video were provided by Nicholas Grossman, Jesse Walker, The Onion, Nun Ya, Jesse Walker again, Jessica Pishko, and Popehat, in that order.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

In the News (#1609)

New Zealand…pinpricks the campaign of fear-mongering and moral outrage…propagated by the quit-or-die crowd.  –  Nancy Loucas

Above the Law

Your “leaders” at work:

A [typical and representative British politician named]…Philip Young…[has] pleaded guilty…to [repeatedly drugging and raping]…his [ex-wife] Joanne…between 2010 and 2024. [He also pled guilty to possession of child porn and to allowing at least] five other men [to rape her while she was unconscious; the men are]…Connor Sanderson-Doyle…Norman Macksoni…Richard Wilkins…Mohammed Hassan…[and] Dean Hamilton…

Policing for Profit

There are many ways for cops to enrich themselves at others’ expense:

For three decades, Albuquerque defense attorney Thomas Clear bribed [corrupt cops] to make drunk driving cases against his clients disappear…by deliberately failing to show up at…hearings…or [other] judicial proceedings, allowing Clear to move for dismissal…Sometimes Clear’s paralegal, Rick Mendez, or his associates would “orchestrate” DWI arrests by getting people drunk and arranging for a corrupt cop to nab them after they hit the road…[Albuquerque pig] Justin Hunt…is one of two dozen people—including [fellow] Albuquerque [pigs], Bernalillo County [pigs], and a New Mexico State P[ig who]…was featured in a state ad campaign against drunk driving—who have been implicated in the bribery scheme so far.  Half of them have pleaded guilty, including Clear and Mendez…

The Face of Trafficking

Cases of actual coercion never look much like the myths:

…a mother and daughter from…Oregon…Marie Gertrude Jean Valmont …and Yolandita Marie Andre…coerced…three victims, including a minor…to work for little or no pay in an adult foster care home…[by steal]ing the[ir] documents…the[ir company]…Velida’s Home Care…recruited the three victims…from Haiti…with promises of a nice place to live, and steady and reliable work…[but] all three were compelled to work long, difficult hours for little to no pay…Valmont…controlled practically every aspect of their daily living…until the minor [got fed up and] disclosed their situation to a medical professional in the summer of 2024…[the exploiters also]…received payments from the Oregon Department of Human Services (ODHS) and Medicaid by falsely claiming they needed to pay…for more hours…[but] kept th[at] money [themselves]…

A Moral Cancer (#1449)

Prohibition never works, but prohibitionists don’t care:

…youth vaping has again and again been used to attack…vape access.  [Its] extent…has often been exaggerated, and it [is absurd] to argue it’s a problem comparable to millions of smoking-related deaths.  Such arguments are nonetheless po[pular with prohibitionists].  That’s why it’s so significant that youth vaping in New Zealand…has…halved in recent years…refut[ing] any narrative that broad vape access [for] adults…inevitably means mass youth use…And the proportion of teens who have never smoked continues to rise, hitting a record 89.4 percent…

Walled Garden (#1567)

There is nothing as worthless as a politician’s promise:

…UK…[politicians barfed out the phrase “]safety for children[” to justify]…potential restrictions on VPNs.  [They]…will also consider banning social media for under-16s [and otherwise micromanaging their internet usage]…the House of Lords…backed an amendment that would ban VPNs for [people] under 18 and force providers to implement [the same kind of “]age check[” surveillance which is driving an increase in VPN usage in the first place]…

Mad Libs (#1586)

The Constitution gave only Congress the power to make laws; the modern administrative state extended the power to agency employees.  And now:

The Trump [regime] is planning to [let a chatbot] write federal transportation regulations…agency attorney Daniel Cohen[, who is extremely stupid, characterized this extremely stupid idea as]…“exciting[” and “doing] our job better and faster”…[the mad emperor] is “very excited about this [extremely stupid idea]”…[Agency lawyer Gregory] Zerzan appeared interested mainly in the quantity of regulations [chatbots] could [vomit out], not their quality. “We don’t need…very good rule[s, just] good enough [for very stupid people, thus]…flooding the zone [with extremely stupid rules].”  These developments have alarmed [sane people] at DOT.  The agency’s rules touch virtually every facet of transportation safety, including regulations that keep airplanes in the sky, prevent gas pipelines from exploding and stop freight trains carrying toxic chemicals from skidding off the rails.  Why…would the federal government outsource the writing of such critical standards to a…technology notorious for making mistakes?…

Shame, Shame (#1605)

Financial companies are usually better at hiding their hypocrisy:

For many years, credit card companies and other payment [processors] were aggressive about policing…sexual [content].  Then, Elon Musk’s [MechaHitler] started undressing [legal minors] on [Twitter]…Though Musk has claimed that new guardrails prevent [MechaHitler] from undressing people, our testing showed that is…[a lie.  Twitter]…does seem to have…partially restricted [MechaHitler]’s image editing features to paid subscribers…[who] can [pay via]…Stripe or through the Apple and Google app stores using [a] credit card…at times financial institutions have [even] threatened [or cut off sex workers] and platforms [for non-sexual content or even medical fundraisers]…But Musk’s boutique revenge porn and CSAM generator is, apparently, just fine…

 

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

Back Issue #151

I love with an intensity that’s almost painful and a loyalty that is generally described as “fierce”.  –  “Diary #288

The idea that words entered into a computer program constitute “verbal abuse” is like something out of a Monty Python sketch.  –  “The Pygmalion Fallacy (#1208)

[Allowing] “serious artistic significance” [to] be determined by politicians…is a bit like asking a panel of tone-deaf 11-year-olds to discuss the relative merits of Bach cantatas.  –  “Thought Control (#1308)

When the state or its pet media want to infantilize young adults, they are referred to as “children”.  But when they want to downplay a cop’s horrendous crimes, prepubescent children become “minors” and “juveniles”, as though they were 16 or 17.  –  “To Molest and Rape (#1407)

Women who have never done sex work really never stop being naive about male sexuality.  –  “Same As It Ever Was

In the News (#1608)

[Letting] pregnant women [die]…is consistent with accepted standards of care in our region.  –  mouthpiece for Cone Health in North Carolina

Gorged With Meaning (#408) 

You know puritanism has run amok when a college student is forced to apologize for going to one of her school team’s football games:

Former adult film star Abella Danger found herself at the center of unexpected attention this week after a televised crowd shot during the NCAA final sparked online chatter and attention she…never wanted…she is…currently a [law] student at the University of Miami, a[nd when she attended]…the [game]…at Miami’s Hard Rock Stadium…[an ESPN] camera[man made the questionable decision to] linger…on [her]…during a pivotal moment late in the game…[hypocritical porn] viewers [who] recognized [her apparently blamed her sex rays for jinxing the team or something].  “I am so deeply sorry to anyone I offended with my attendance at the game,” she told [TMZ]…

Something Rotten in Sweden (#750)

Washington state politicians are still ignoring advocates’ advice in favor of puritanical virtue-signaling:

[Politicians] are moving fast to [worsen] Washington’s laws on [adults having consensual sex]…before international travelers come to town for the 2026 FIFA World Cup…the King County Prosecut[or’s office vomited decades-old prohibitionist propaganda at them to]…bump up…paying for sex from a simple misdemeanor to a…felony [because prosecutors aren’t ruining enough lives yet]…

Sex Rays (#1367)

When there’s no censorious payment processor in the way, sex businesses can be powerful helpers:

…the folks at Minneapolis sex shop Smitten Kitten…have mobilized to support neighbors amid a violent and unrelenting [pogrom] by the Trump [regime]…inside the shop, volunteers are organizing canned foods, diapers, clothes, and other essentials to be distributed to…“families that are stuck at home because they’re scared of…ICE [attacks]”…the shop’s Instagram page has been leveraging its platform to boost donation opportunities for community members in the area, sharing GoFundMe, Venmo, and Cash App campaigns…The shop is also partnering with neighboring businesses…to make sure people are being fed.  And volunteers are standing outside of the shop to protect anyone coming in or out from [attack by goons] in the immediate area…

Welcome to the Future (#1414)

Anything connected to a computer can be used to spy on you:

…It’s standard for workplace printers to log certain information, such as the names of files they print and the users who printed them.  In an apparent attempt to avoid detection, [a whistleblower]…took screenshots of [government] materials, cropped the screenshots, and pasted them into a Microsoft Word document…[but his fascist contractor] employer could see not only the typical metadata stored by printers, such as file names, file sizes, and time of printing, but…also…the actual contents of the printed materials — in this case…the screenshots themselves…Whenever someone presses print in a network outfitted with this printer monitoring software, the program creates a clandestine copy of the file and generates an image of page…printed…users might be entirely unaware that the contents of printed files are archived…

Torture Chamber (#1437)

New York supposedly bans long-term solitary confinement:

Teenagers as young as 12…in New York [dungeons] are held for prolonged periods in solitary confinement cells without plumbing…A federal class action lawsuit [was] filed by the Legal Aid Society and the law firm Jenner and Block [because]…New York…”routinely and unlawfully imposes solitary confinement”…in filthy, dehumanizing…cells for 23 to 24 hours a day—in some cases for weeks or even months at a time…”Almost none of the cells…have toilets or sinks.  As a result, [victims] must [beg] to be released from their cells to use the bathroom or be forced to use garbage pails, water bottles, food containers, or buckets to relieve themselves…The smell of urine and feces can permeate these [cell blocks]”…

Vulture Watching (#1534)

Another look at the totally-predictable results of bad laws:

…dangerous miscarriages…are relatively rare events.  What are far more common…are high-risk pregnancies…Each year, hundreds of thousands of women enter pregnancy with chronic conditions that put them at an elevated risk of long-term complications and, in some cases, death…[bu]t abortion bans generally don’t include exceptions that cover these kinds of health concerns…instead, the exceptions are for the “life of the mother.”  In practice, this often means doctors won’t act without strong evidence that their patients are very likely to die.  Where there have been efforts to create…exceptions to cover a range of medical risks women can face in pregnancy, [forced-birth fanatic]s have fought against them

Aladdin’s Satellite (#1566)

Every so often the areas of my reporting beat converge:

…In posts on ManyVids, the porn platform’s official account holds imaginary conversations with aliens, alongside [computer]-generated videos of UFOs, fractal images, “angel numbers,” and a video of its founder and CEO Bella French in a space suit shooting lasers from her eyes.  French launched the site in 2014 as a former cam model herself, and the platform has millions of members and tens of thousands of creators…[yet she] recently changed her personal website to state her new goal is to “transition one million people out of the adult industry and do everything we can to ensure no one new enters it.”  The statement follows posts…about new strategies to pivot the site toward safe-for-work, non-sexual content.  This sudden shift away from years of messaging about being a compatriot with sex workers, combined with bizarre [chatbot]-generated text and images…has made some creators worry for their livelihoods, and caused others to leave the site completely…When faced with backlash, MV removed the ability to comment on posts…[which] appear to be ramblings and images generated by a person in active psychosis…

 

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

Diary #813

The climate here at Sunset is not unlike that of England; rainy and on the chilly side, and rarely extremely hot or extremely cold.  Because the utility room containing the well and the water tank are inside the atrium, I don’t need to take any precautions if the overnight low is going to be warmer than -3o C, which is usually the case for >80 days of the winter.  And if it isn’t going to be lower than about -5o C, all I need to do is turn on a heater in the utility room and let one faucet run at a trickle.  But once in a while it gets colder than that for a night or two, so I need to take a few extra precautions, like running the hot water tap for a few minutes whenever I get up to use the bathroom (since the propane heater is outside).  It was like that Friday and Saturday nights; if the daytime temperatures are reasonable I don’t need to make any special arrangements for the big animals, because they just huddle together in the stable and emerge to sun themselves after dawn.  But our cats are not used to these kind of temperatures, so I bring the outside cats inside on nights like that.  Rocky got the atrium bathroom and Lilith the old one; I need to keep the door closed so she and Speck won’t fight (and Axel adds another complication).  But Sunday night was back to normal, with a low of only -2o C, so I was able to suspend the freeze protocols.  And unless we get some stray cold front later in February, that’s probably it for this winter.

Links #812

Not to love Der Führer is a great disgrace.

When I pointed out (during the first Trump regime) that the mad emperor is in many ways like the brutal Ugandan dictator Idi Amin, I referenced this song, but for some reason have never featured it.  So when I recently reprinted more mockery of dictators, I decided to correct that.  The links above the video were all provided by IncarcerNation except the first two, which were provided by Nun Ya.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

A Year Gone

One year ago today, at about 2 AM, I lost my best friend to what appears to have been an acute ischemic stroke, brought on by cancer, chemotherapy, and long-standing circulatory issues.  We had known for years that her end was approaching, and had I not refused to see them, there were clear signs that it would be sooner rather than later.  But human beings are very good at failing to see what we do not want to see, and I’m certainly no exception; I’m sure part of the reason was that I wanted to maintain a positive outlook to help her do the same, but most of it was just that I’ve already had so much pain and loss in my life I did not want to consciously face what even our idioms recognize as among the worst misfortunes that can befall a person.

Whenever a friend suffers a loss, we are moved to try to say something, anything, to assuage their pain; some of those things are helpful and some are not.  But of the things my friends said to me, two stand out, and I still think of them often.  One of them is philosophical:  Grief is the price we pay for love.  Indeed, people who have suffered emotionally sometimes become afraid of love because they fear the pain that must come when we must part from the loved one, and the greater the love, the greater the pain.  The other helpful thing was more practical: The waves of grief never stop coming, but they do grow further apart.  For the first few weeks after her passing I thought of little else, then for most of last year the waves came at least daily; in more recent months they’ve come two or three times a week.  They have not yet become less intense, though I’m sure that, too, will happen in the fullness of time.

As I knew I would through long experience, I have tried to cope with the grief by retreating a bit from the world and burying myself in my work; the most important product of that work is a new series of pulp-style adventure stories featuring characters based upon Grace and myself, in which the narratives are suffused with my thoughts on friendship in general and our friendship in particular.  They’re the longest and most complex individual works I’ve ever written, and the next project in the series will be my first novel.  And the many hours it takes to create them not only feel like a way for me to share Grace with the world, but also a means by which I can squeeze just a little more time with her out of a world which took her from me much too soon.