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Posts Tagged ‘psychology’

I’ve always been dedicated to the idea of this as the time of year for spooky fun.  So every year I collect all the spooky, creepy or scary content from the previous year into one place just before Halloween.  If you’ve come to my blog in the past year, or don’t remember previous editions, they are “Trick or Treat”, “More Trick or Treat“, “Tricks and Treats“, “This Trick’s a Treat”, “Tricky Treats“, “A Trickle of Treats”, “Tricking and Treating“, “Tricks for the Treat“, “Tricked Out Treats“, “Tricks and Treats and Such Small Deer“, “Trick Treatment“, “Treats and Tricks“, and “Tricked Up a Treat“.  Horror, death or Halloween-themed columns of the past year included “Day of the Dead 2025“,”Hellhound“, “A Year Gone“, Diary #800, “Perspective Shift“, “Beware of the Shoggoths“, and Enshittification (#1649), and there are creepy or spooky-fun videos in Links #800, #803, #808, #809, #849, #850, and “Endless Sunday“.  A collection of seasonal links and creepy tweets appears below.

This weird 21st-century shit of Trick-or-Treating at random times on random days in October determined by mobs or politicians, instead of on Halloween night, was a sign of cultural decline. Too bad so few recognized that.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-10-27T17:19:11.215Z

I'm afraid I'm committed to the ancient-forest-haunting gig for at least the next millennium, or until the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter exorcises me.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-11-06T08:25:21.562Z

I just can't get beyond the resemblance.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-11-16T19:29:02.571Z

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-12-12T19:50:01.065Z

The happy ending here is that despite all their ridiculous mumbo-jumbo and frantic posturing, Death will win as it always does.Ave Mortis, Imperator Mundi.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2025-12-13T18:51:08.690Z

If I were Canadian, right now I would feel like one of the guys in this scene:

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-01-26T03:22:24.145Z

#3 is a very, very bad idea.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-03-25T17:50:01.254Z

This monster's face appears to have been designed by Jack Pierce. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm06823…

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-03-30T17:38:45.538Z

I do not keep cursed objects in my home, and furthermore as a wise old crone who lives near a damp, creepy forest I advise y'all not to keep them in your homes, either.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-04-27T18:01:27.631Z

I reckon this must be a tataille, because it sure ain't a lougarou.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-05-17T17:54:41.692Z

"Mythos".They are taunting y'all, and few are literate enough to recognize it.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-06-13T17:38:37.133Z

I spoke with Mitch McConnell for twenty minutes this morning. He told me he had meddled in things that man must leave alone.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-07-09T08:13:53.616Z

Good thing they added the extra 40 years, just in case he manages to die and come back as a vampire twice.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-07-23T19:15:36.022Z

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-02T19:43:12.522Z

 

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They bragged publicly about violating a law that they themselves had worked really hard to get passed.  –  Molly Duane

Elephant in the Parlor (#1493)

That Gaetz’s downfall was due to paying for sex rather than his openly-espoused evil is a symptom of America’s cultural sickness:

Two women have filed a federal…lawsuit accusing…Florida [politician] Matt Gaetz and two others of…[“]sex trafficking[” because they were both legal adults with]…no stable income when…Gaetz…paid [them for] sex…[did] drugs [with them] and [took them on trips]…Jane Doe 1…alleges that she witnessed Gaetz having sex with a girl who was 17 at the time…[but] is not one of the plaintiffs…

The Vultures Descend (#1627)

Fanatics hoist with their own petard is the purest form of justice:

In March, Kristan Hawkins, the founder and president of the anti-[bodily autonomy] group Students for Life posted on Instagram a photo of herself and two [other]…members outside Space Center Houston…[bragging that they were] “Ordering abortion pills undercover”…[so now] a Texas [woman has] sued…Hawkins…and three other members…using a state law…the group…[bragged about] helping to pass.  The law…allows nearly anyone to sue a person who mails, delivers, prescribes or provides abortion pills to or from anyone in Texas…and win at least $100,000 per violation.  The law bars suits against a woman who uses, obtains or tries to obtain the pills to end her own pregnancy…[but] the group members did not appear to be pregnant and so fall squarely within the law’s reach.  The plaintiff is seeking $459,782…the average cost of raising two children to 18 in Texas…the four defendants [are] Kristan Mercer Hawkins, Lydia Taylor Davis, Jamie Curry and Megan Roos…

Aladdin’s Satellite (#1632)

Every one of these companies must be sued into bankruptcy:

Character.AI, the…chatbot startup that faced high-profile lawsuits over the deaths of minors, has declared bankruptcy…and is looking to sell the company in a court-supervised sale…Character.AI allowed users to openly chat with a sea of largely user-generated AI companion bots known as “Characters”…despite having no revenue…it was valued at more than a billion dollars…[because] its founders…[barfed the asinine buzzwords] “personalized superintelligence” [in the faces of ignoramuses].  In [autumn of] 2024…Character.AI, Google…and [the company’s founders]…were sued by Megan Garcia, a Florida [woman whose] 14-year-old son, Sewell Setzer III, died by suicide as a result of his extensive and deeply intimate interactions with chatbots on the platform.  The suit…was [only the first of many]…from…families…[whose] children [were] abused by Character.AI, resulting in psychological harm, physical injury, and death.  It was also sued by the states of Kentucky and Pennsylvania…

Welcome to the Future (#1636)

Privacy as we once knew it is a thing of the past:

Josh Earle and Leo Paz…[are] a pair of [sociopaths] behind a…startup called Outlit…[whose] goal is to amass as much real-time information about a company’s clients as possible…[using bo]ts [to] trawl [not only] internal records like call logs and sales data [but also] external information like social media posts and the websites of people’s employers…The resulting product…is basically a detailed intelligence dossier…[which is] always updating…Asked if Outlit sees the need to inform those being monitored, or if they’ll offer the opportunity for an opt-out, [sociopath Josh] Earle [barfed]…“There’s nothing that we’re doing that’s illegal, so we’re within our right to [spy on people]…we…don[‘t care]…how people feel about it…[because] it’s going to happen”…

Panopticon (#1672)

Making a deal with the Devil is easy; getting out of it is not:

Elgin Community College hired Flock…Surveillance…in April 2025…but] President Peggy Heinrich…began to have second thoughts as she learned more about how the cameras can be used…[especially since] more than half of Elgin’s students are Latino…staff notified Flock in October 2025 that they wanted to cancel their contract and have the cameras taken down…[but] Flock [immediately] rejected the request and refused to uninstall the equipment…The school reached out again in December, offering to pay out the rest of the contract, but…Flock [simply ignored the offer]…Since the school no longer wanted the cameras to operate, and Flock refused to remove or disable them, officials zip tied garbage bags over the cameras on campus.  But…workers in an unmarked vehicle, which Heinrich assumed belonged to Flock, repeatedly removed the coverings…until the school’s contract expired in April, when Flock finally removed the cameras…

Welcome to the Future (#1679)

Am I the only one who finds chatbot-assisted masturbation both creepy and pathetic?

In the three weeks since its launch, millions of use[ful idiots] have already downloaded [Zuckerberg’s Muse chatbot]…and [foolishly connected it to their bank accounts and health data].  While pornographic interactions may not be what users [who have been living in caves their whole lives] expect from [a chatbot branded with a picture of a Teletubby ripoff, Facebook]…says that X-rated conversations are allowed and don’t go against its guidelines…In…tests, Muse im[itated “dirty talk”] in great detail…and [its users are apparently oblivious to the ludicrosity of both these]…outputs…and…[Facebook]’s…carelessness with their [most heavily-hyped] product of the moment…Calli Schroeder…[of] the Electronic Privacy Information Center…[points out that] if…someone hacks into your personal account, then their access to your [ridiculous interactions]…with a…[chatbot] could be used to embarrass or extort you…

The Cop Myth (#1681)

It’s too bad they don’t inflict all of their violence on each other:

[A typical and representative] Kentucky [cop attacked his girlfriend, then started waving a gun around and shooting randomly]…Dustin Zink…was threatening [his family and bystanders]…and [when a gang of his fellow pigs arrived] Zink…fired his weapon [at them] multiple times, prompting four [of them to shoot him down like a mad dog]…

 

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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Diary #851

Early Sunday morning, Chekhov’s lady friend Yellowbird passed away in a Seattle hospital; she was 84 and had been suffering from a variety of health problems for the past several years.  Then last year, the problems began to multiply, and by the beginning of this summer they grew beyond the typical problems of age; early last week she was diagnosed with a terminal neurological disorder, and by Saturday morning decided to let nature take its course.  So the hospital increased her pain medication enough to let her sleep more deeply than she’d been able to do in months, and she passed away quietly in her sleep about 3:30 AM Sunday.  Chekhov is taking it as well as can be expected; he had been her primary caregiver for the last few years, so nobody knew better how much pain she had been in, and how much it galled her to be unable to live the active lifestyle, including gardening and creating art, which she had maintained up until quite recently.  So like me with Grace, he is deeply sad at the loss of someone he dearly loved, but also relieved that her suffering is at an end.  He’s already told me plans to move back into his cottage soon; he’s never officially changed his residence, but for several years now has stayed with her.  And I’m glad he’s coming back, because I don’t think he should be alone, and it will be good for both of us to have someone who understands nearby to talk to.

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Just a reminder that on the 25th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, the war it caused was already 21 years in the past, Japan and Germany had largely been rebuilt and become allies, and the economic costs of the war were largely behind the US (though not Europe or Asia).

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-11T17:44:58.998Z

I think scientists should lock RFK into a Skinner box to test this. Of course, several other Trump henchmen will need to be similarly-confined as a control group. A year or two of testing should prove or disprove the assertion.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-14T17:20:16.067Z

How much of a dangerous clown does a man have to be to get fired by ICE, which is practically the dangerous clown brigade?

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-15T17:15:38.468Z

Looks like I made the right choice by stopping my book at the end of New Who. amazon.com/dp/B0FBLDZ2B…

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-17T18:05:39.808Z

For those of you with very tenuous attachment to reality: Don't worry, the Panama Canal has not moved; it's in the same place it has always been since its completion in 1914.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-18T18:09:51.204Z

I really wish people understood verisimilitude, and that consistency of mundane elements is MORE important in a fantasy movie under the "change only one thing" principle.But alas, that ship sailed long ago; critics were already pointing it out in the '60s.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-19T17:12:25.407Z


This is possibly one of the stupidest diktats which have ever erupted from that festering pustule he uses to make sounds.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-22T16:44:49.712Z

I have said for decades that I'd much rather talk to someone who disagrees with me *and can articulate the reasons why* than someone who agrees with me and cannot.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-25T02:38:41.198Z

The group "Very Stupid People Who Are Nonetheless Convinced They Are Geniuses" have *always* been taken in by claims that one could live forever if one merely eats the "right" foods and performs the "correct" magical rites. The scam was already old when the Comte de Saint Germain was selling it.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-25T17:42:44.300Z

There's a word for a woman who trusts a man to take care of birth control: "pregnant".

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-27T01:58:03.448Z

Apparently, YouTube's search algorithm has been programmed so that when it can't find what you asked for, it just brings up a lot of commercials instead. It's like going to a restaurant, ordering something not on the menu, and being served ten dirty dishes and a bill.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-27T17:31:51.369Z

What a strange thing to say. Trump's belief that he is immune from any kind of legal limit is actually a rational one, because that's exactly how everyone in Washington behaves, including SCOTUS and Democratic members of Congress. If they want him to believe something else, they need to show him.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-28T07:28:06.777Z

All of these people are so physically warped it's almost like the director is signaling that they have warped minds and personalities. It's kind of like a Dutch angle.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-29T07:58:23.998Z

He's not far enough "underwater" until his regime implodes like a submersible full of billionaires.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-09-30T17:17:07.213Z

When science won't give a powerful person the answer he wants, he invariably turns to mysticism. This syndrome goes back to the dawn of science 2500 years ago, and is largely responsible for the technological and social stagnation of the European middle ages. reason.com/2026/10/02/a…

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-02T19:30:06.431Z

I love that the owl's facial expression says, "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-03T17:26:51.356Z

Basically, all the village idiots have been networked into a giant idiotnet (like a botnet, but with idiots) which functions like a computer to spew out more and bigger idiocy than could be produced by any one idiot or group of idiots. It's a massive breakthrough in the technology of idiocy.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-04T18:16:09.793Z

The main problem with those stupid enough to believe even a single word of this Bronze-Age nonsense is that they're allowed to vote.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-06T17:50:29.076Z

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-07T07:42:20.746Z

Remember what "code" is: a set of instructions. If an LLM has feelings, so does every one of those printed sheets that come with Ikea furniture. So does the phrase "close cover before striking" on a matchbook.Yes, this is absurd. People need to start saying so. A picture of a human is not a human.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-10T07:43:11.040Z

The term everyone is dancing around is "secret police", a hallmark of totalitarian regimes.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-10T18:00:31.330Z

Oh please, God, please, I don't ask for much…

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-12T17:42:16.917Z

Yeah, we've noticed.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-13T17:48:41.989Z

Actual LOL.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-15T17:35:05.310Z

Quoted post: the fantasy.This post: the reality

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-16T17:56:17.598Z

That's the story of government from ancient times to the present. In all but very rare cases (so rare they are historically notable), the rulers of any political grouping are the most despicable creatures in the land.What makes Trump different is that he can't even PRETEND to be a civilized man.

— Maggie McNeill (@maggiemcneill.bsky.social) 2026-10-17T07:41:54.468Z

 

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Whether…a…person has a vagina or a penis has no bearing on the deadliness of a firearm.  –  Judge Carlyn Addison

Monsters

Some states appear to be determined to reverse civil rights progress:

Paris Lee was shot six times and killed by Samuel Ward Jr…[who] was convicted of voluntary manslaughter in May 2025.  He claimed it was self-defense, but the jury didn’t buy it…however, the Tennessee Court of Criminal Appeals [has] reversed his conviction…declar[ing] that…[by] not disclosing [that] the victim…[w]as a trans woman, the trial judge “misled” the jury…and that Ward was entitled to a new trial where he could use this fact to bolster his claim of self-defense [because trans women are intrinsically scary]…even [though]…Ward was…known…to trans women in the area…[as one who] largely pursued relationships with transgender women…

Guinea Pigs (#1511)

This abomination began as a way for cops to target sex workers:

[Surveillance software] now lets cops take a photo and nearly instantly figure out what specific home it was taken in, using only clues in the photo itself, and is clearly pulling data from sites like Zillow and Airbnb.  The tool, [now] called Raven…was previously called GeoSpy…[but] has [now] added features that let cops analyze the interior of homes…without using location data or other metadata attached to the image…This is…not a reverse image search…what Raven is doing, instead, is identifying unique characteristics in the photo, then finding what are likely other photos from the same property on sites like Airbnb, even if those photos are not exactly the same, or even if time has passed between them being taken…

The first version of this software was called “TraffickCam“; when it appeared 10 years ago, “sex trafficking” hysteria was still going strong and its designers sold it to useful idiots as “helping police rescue trafficking victims” so as to enlist their aid in building a mass surveillance database which now threatens the liberty and privacy of millions who have never sold sex.

The Cop Myth (#1606)

They never stop demonstrating exactly what they are:

An ICE [goon was arrested for]…assaulting an elderly man and his daughter at a home in Fresno…[around] 3:30 am [on October 9.  The] woman found…[drunk goon] David Gonzalez sleeping on her front lawn…[and] told her 72-year-old father, who then went outside to tell Gonzalez to leave…he [responded by attacking] the…old [man, and when]…the daughter tried to intervene to protect her father…Gonzalez…attacked her [as well.  Fortunately]…the…old man [was sensibly armed] and shot Gonzalez.  The[n the] woman…[called her cop] boyfriend…to [come and arrest] Gonzalez…who [has been] charge[d with]…felony assault…

Mad Libs (#1650)

Every study shows that chatbot usage harms brain function:

Brian Christian…was part of a team behind a landmark study that found that spending just 10 minutes relying on a…[chatbot] significantly impairs [human] ability to focus and persist with difficult tasks.  A preliminary draft made waves earlier this year, and the team [recently] presented the updated, peer-reviewed paper…[a control group of] participants [were]…tasked with solving…basic [math and reading comprehension] problems without help, while another had ChatGPT open on the side…[chatbot] users got answers wrong or gave up entirely when the [electric crutch] was withdrawn…The findings backed up what [sensible people understood from the outset:  using chatbots] for answers erodes…cognitive fitness…and…removes what the team called “productive struggle,” which can lead people to [hone intellectual skills.  And]…offloading tasks to chatbots [quickly] reduce[s]…baseline understanding and mastery of a subject…

The Cop Myth (#1666)

Cops think violence is the solution to every problem:

[A typical and representative] San Francisco [cop named Kevin Mannix murdered his estranged wife, another cop named] Ann Mannix…and her 24-year-old daughter, Katherine…[then killed himself.  Another adult son or daughter]…was able to escape [unharmed]…and…[a third] adult [son or daughter was not there at the time]…

The Cop Myth (#1680)

Why are people shocked when men paid & encouraged to behave violently, behave violently?

A Raleigh [North Carolina cop named]…Christopher Andre Reed was [arrested for] bothering employees and other patrons [of a restaurant while drunk]…he assaulted the manager and tried to hit two others on his way out…he…threw his keys at a[nother] person [then fled].  When [his fellow gang members] arrived…they found him walking down Capital Boulevard, and blocking traffic.  He had several cuts after jumping a barbed wire fence…and…[when] a…paramedic [tried] to [help] him [he responded] by kicking him in the groin…[and] yell[ing] at [the other cops] to “shoot him”…

To Molest and Rape (#1680)

A boss hog is still just a pig, with all that entails:

Elizabeth…Louisiana…[may soon have a boss hog who raped] two children…Christopher Paul…was arrested in early September…[for] raping two 13-year-old girls 20 years ago…[and his opponent, Zachary LaCaze, had to withdrew after learning that his candidacy violated the Hatch Act because he works for the federal government.  But] the village’s Board of Aldermen have no authority to change the ballot under state law…[so they] put an item on the Dec. 12 ballot that would change the police chief position from an elected position to an appointed position, if voted in.  [But this being Louisiana,] it is unclear whether the p[opula]tion…will…act in the[ir own] best interests…

 

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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Familiar Names

I’ve written on a number of occasions about how one of the pleasures Grace and I derived from watching classic TV shows was recognizing actors we knew from Star Trek or other classic shows such as The Twilight Zone; back in February I wrote (of The Fugitive): “in this show I’m also recognizing musical cues in every episode, because the show drew on the CBS music library and featured many of the pieces Bernard Herrmann and others wrote for The Twilight Zone.”  But in one of my current shows I’ve gone even beyond that to recognizing various names in various roles in nearly every episode.  The show is Have Gun – Will Travel, a highly character-driven show about a gentlemanly mercenary in the 1870s who rejects jobs he finds morally objectionable, very much like a modern knight-errant (a symbolism clearly broadcast by the character’s nom de guerre, “Paladin”).  Since the show aired on CBS from 1957-1963 I was not surprised to discover that the show’s opening title and most of its incidental music for the first three seasons were composed by Bernard Herrmann, nor that many of its guest cast appeared on the contemporary CBS show The Twilight Zone.  The two shows also shared a number of directors, including Buzz Kulik, Ida Lupino, Lamont Johnson, and Richard Donner.  But what I really wasn’t ready for was the number of writers whose names I recognized; given that Have Gun – Will Travel is a western (albeit an unusual one that often feels more like a private-eye series), I didn’t really expect to see so many names I knew from the fantasy and sci-fi series I loved, including Shimon Wincelberg (AKA S. Bar-David), Jack Laird (later the producer of Night Gallery), Gene L. Coon, Charles Beaumont, and Richard Matheson.  But the name that surprised me most was that of the author of 30 of the series’ best episodes: Gene Roddenberry, a gent I’m sure needs no introduction; it was interesting to note that many of the themes of those stories later resurfaced in Star Trek.

I bought this set for Grace around 2018 (if memory serves) for a really good price at the late, lamented Big Lots, because I knew it was one of her childhood favorites (she even had a dog named after one of the recurring characters); however, she watched it during the period when I was still spending most of my time in Seattle, and I only started watching it myself because I happened to see some really good reviews of it online.  So another pleasure I derive from the show is a feeling of closeness to her, though I dearly wish we could have seen it together before we lost that opportunity forever.

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I’ve never seen [corruption] like this outside…of a TV show.
–  Mark Begnaud

I recently remembered another favorite from Sesame Street, and it’s even seasonally appropriate!  The links above the video were provided by Shiv Ramdas; Franklin Harris; Jesse Walker and Franklin Harris again; Mike Siegel; David Ley; T. Greg Doucette; and IncarcerNation, in that order.

From the Archives

I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one.  Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful.  But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer.  So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets.  Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements.  Thanks so much!

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Thank God It’s Friday

Since I retired, I’ve noticed an unusual phenomenon: I find myself looking forward to Friday, and when it arrives I feel a kind of contentment that lasts until Sunday, when I start to have anxiety about looming responsibilities.  As I explained a few months ago,

…since none of the jobs I had after 1987 had traditional Saturday-Sunday weekends, that inability to feel free of looming responsibilities eventually seeped into every day off, aggravating my lifelong characteristic inability to relax into a lifelong Sunday-shaped pathology: unless I was actually under the influence of a drug, whatever tasks I might have to accomplish were always lurking behind me, impossible to ignore regardless of my efforts to pretend they weren’t there.  But now, five years into my retirement, I’m at last starting to have a little success in convincing myself that there really aren’t any obligations haunting my free time…

When I wrote that I hadn’t really begun to notice the Friday effect yet, but over the summer it became quite pronounced.  Sure, as a child I looked forward to Fridays, not only because I’d have a few days off from the dreaded school and could look forward to Saturday morning cartoons, but also because almost until my early teens I spent many Friday evenings sleeping over at Maman‘s house.  In my teens Saturday became D&D day, another good reason to look forward to the weekend, and around 1980 (I think) the local PBS station started playing classic horror movies late Friday night; a few years later they started running Third Doctor episodes of Doctor Who on Friday nights (the Fourth Doctor was on Saturday nights).  Then in the early ’90s, while I was a librarian, Fridays became D&D day for a year or so.  But that was over 30 years ago, and I honestly can’t recall anything special about Fridays since then, except maybe a few Sci-fi channel shows of the late ’90s and early Oughts; during all my escorting years, Friday was just like any other day, and I can’t recall and special memories of Grace associated with the day.

And yet, the feeling of Friday as somehow special persists, and if anything is slowly growing more pronounced.  I have no explanation for this, other than the strange persistence of emotional memories, but it’s not an unpleasant association.  So I’m just going to enjoy it, and accept it as a strange and wonderful little blessing from the deep recesses of my brain.

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