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Posts Tagged ‘Never Call the Cops’

You did this to yourself.  –  cop, to grandmother he assaulted

I don’t think I can really explain the silly kitchen banter between Grace and me that resulted in my jokingly threatening to throw a “ricochet biscuit” at her, so I won’t try; I’ll just share this video for those who have no clue what I’m talking about.  The links above it were provided by Radley Balko, Franklin Harris, Jesse Walker, Cop Crisis, Boatfloating, Kevin Wilson, and Cop Crisis again, in that order.

From the Archives

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We’re going to fuck you up.  –  NYPD cop to random bystander

Everyone knows “The Pink Panther Theme”, but fewer remember Mancini’s theme for the second Inspector Clouseau movie, A Shot in the Dark; here’s the title sequence from the film, introducing the animated Inspector character who went on to star in his own cartoon series, which used this piece of music as its theme.  The links above it were provided by Franklin Harris, Popehat, Cop Crisis (x3), Mike Siegel, and Phoenix Calida, in that order.

From the Archives

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Qualified immunity does not protect the officer who orchestrated this outrageous clown show.  –  Judge Stuart Kyle Duncan

The links above this video for my favorite Earth, Wind & Fire song (in honor of the passing of their saxophonist) were provided by Scott Greenfield, Jesse Walker, Cop Crisis, Greg Lukianoff, Popehat, Cop Crisis again, and Billy Binion, in that order.

From the Archives

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You’re lucky I don’t get out of this car and beat your ass.  –  Ronald Serpico

Though to my adult ear this song is terribly silly, I quite liked it when it came out.  Of course I was just a child at the time, and it appealed to my dyed-in-the-wool lack of respect for authority and my growing rebelliousness.  And since C.W. McCall didn’t exactly have a string of hits, here we are.  The links above it were provided by ClarissaFranklin Harris, Cop Crisis, Katherine Mangu-Ward, Cop Crisis again (x2), and Tim Cushing, in that order.

From the Archives

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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.  –  P.J. O’Rourke

I’ve heard these impressions before, but they’re really quite remarkable; Bowie was a man of any talents!  This video was provided by Franklin Harris, and the links above it by Cop Crisis, Walter Olson, Dave Krueger, Emma Evans, Cop Crisis again and Dave Krueger again, in that order.

From the Archives

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Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.  –  Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis) in Ghostbusters

In recognition of the passing of hard funk pioneer Betty Davis, here’s her “They Say I’m Different”, from the 1974 album of the same name.  The links above the video were provided by Cop Crisis (“serving”, “leaning”, and “demonstrating”); Cathy Reisenwitz (“exception”); Gustavo Turner (“Davis”); Franklin Harris (“Reitman”); and Jesse Walker (“shark”).

From the Archives

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Please don’t embarrass yourself any further.  –  UnionWatch, to cops

It’s always interesting to me to hear a composer’s own interpretation of his works.  Here’s a recording of Debussy playing “La Soiree dans Grenade” in 1913, contributed by Gustavo Turner (who also supplied “safer”).  The other links above the video were provided by Popehat, Nun Ya, David Ley, Franklin Harris, Cop Crisis, and Dave Krueger, in that order.

From the Archives

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That post you put on Facebook…any more…like that…and it’ll be far worse than a ticket.  –  unnamed Brookside, Alabama cop

Don Wilson of the Ventures was probably the most influential rhythm guitarist of all time, putting his stamp on the surf sound of the early ’60s in a string of hits, of which this week’s video was the first.  The links above it were provided by Jesse Walker, Dave Krueger, Cop Crisis (x2), Radley Balko, and Popehat, in that order.

From the Archives

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I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell.  –  Jim Steinman

It’s been a while since a musician’s death affected me as strongly as last week’s passing of Meat Loaf, but then there aren’t many musicians about whom I can truthfully claim to own every single album they ever released.  And there was really only one song I could use in memorial: the one Jim Steinman wrote as the ultimate teen death song.  The links above it were provided by Franklin Harris, Jesse Walker, Billy Binion, Scott Hechinger (x2), and Cop Crisis, in that order.

From the Archives

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The federal government is literally paying state and local police to circumvent state law.  –  Justin Pearson

To Molest and Rape

If only there were a concise word for “coerced into having sex”:

An Elk Grove [California cop], along with [his cop shop] and city of Elk Grove, are being sued by a woman who…was [raped by]…the [cop, whose identity the state is hiding so he can continue to prey on other vulnerable women]…in April, the woman called 911 to report the theft of her vehicle’s catalytic converter…When the [rapist, who was among the responding cops, discovered]…she was single, he took her number and [claimed] it would be used for the investigation…[but in actuality] he [used it to harass]…her…th[reatening] her son…if she did not [submit]…she complied [due to reasonable]…fear of retaliation…[but] called [a different cop shop]…to…report…the…rape [afterward]…

Thou Shalt Not (#642)

New Zealand cops apparently lack sufficient reasons to brutalize people:

New Zealand is [criminaliz]ing young people [who]…buy cigarettes in a rolling program that aims to make [every]…smoke[r in the country a criminal] by 2025…Each year the age limit will be increased until…[all Kiwis who smoke are criminalized]…As part of the strategy, cigarette prices have [been artificially] increased by 10 per cent every year for the 10 years between 2011 and 2020, but…the price hike has…creat[ed] a black market for cigarettes…

But just in case you thought politicians were capable of logic:

New Zealand has become the first country in the world to permanently legalise drug checking services, which will allow individuals to test the safety of illicit substances at festivals and other locations without the fear of legal repercussions…

So will services checking the safety of black market cigarettes be legal?

Policing for Profit (#924)

Until there are criminal penalties for this behavior, cops have no incentive to stop:

In [2016], Florida passed a law [intended to] reform…the state’s civil asset forfeiture process…But despite t[his]…Florida remains one of the most prolific practitioners of [legalized robbery, because]…local and state police can evade the new restrictions by [simply] working with the federal government [to divvy up the take]…In 2012, the Justice Department demanded that the police department in Bal Harbour, Florida—population 2,500—return $4 million in forfeited assets after audits showed the department had been misusing funds for lavish expenses, vehicles, payouts to snitches, and first-class travel…Bal Harbour police had been running a [so-called] task force…[which actually] laundered $56 million for drug cartels through undercover police bank accounts…police in the suburb of Sunrise, Florida…raked in millions by using well-paid snitches to lure cocaine buyers into town from around the country…and s[teal]ing their cash…a dozen members of the…vice squad had each made hundreds of thousands of dollars in overtime pay through the stings…

Legislators Gone Wild (#1102) 

The fanatical, unhinged Guinasso and his pet fantasist are at it again, now with the financial backing of Morality in Media:

[A professional fantasist] and two…unnamed…[collaborators, backed by anti-sex extremists Morality in Media, have re-]filed a [previously-dismissed] lawsuit…against Nevada’s Governor [and others, seeking]…to put an end to legalized…prostitution in the state [because of their fantasies about it]…The lawsuit [bizarrely claims]…that…legalized prostitution…[is] “violating the thirteenth amendment’s ban on slavery”…Guinasso [also] argues that…prostitution [should be further criminalized because]…it…[allows women to] make a good living…

The Mob Rules

A district court judge has to do SCOTUS’ job because it won’t:

S.B. 8, the Texas law that bans abortion after fetal cardiac activity can be detected, relies on a novel enforcement mechanism…It authorizes lawsuits by “any person” against “any person” who performs or facilitates a prohibited abortion and promises plaintiffs at least $10,000 in “statutory damages,” plus reimbursement of their legal expenses, if they win.  That “unique and unprecedented” arrangement …violates the state constitution’s standing requirements for civil actions, the separation of powers, and the right to due process…[ruled] Travis County District Court Judge David Peeples…His 48-page order emphasizes how the law’s “completely new” enforcement mechanism favors plaintiffs over defendants and warns that the same strategy could be deployed against all sorts of politically disfavored constitutional rights…”It is one thing to authorize taxpayers or citizens to file suits against government officials to make them obey a law, and…quite another thing to incentivize citizens or persons to file suits against other private citizens to extract money from them, with no pretense of compensating the claimant for anything”…

Since IANAL, I can’t judge whether SCOTUS arguments supporting its continued refusal to take action are specious or not.  But they’re certainly convenient.

Torture Chamber (#1189)

Arizona screws think they can cure mental illness by torture:

Day after day…Rahim Muhammad slammed his head into the prison cell door…[because he] heard voices that told him to harm himself.  But instead of providing counseling…Arizona prison staff repeatedly gassed Muhammad with pepper spray…more than 40 times over eight months [in the past year]…In one two-week period, Muhammad was pepper sprayed 15 times.  Sometimes [screws] gassed him twice a day…[or] shot him at close range with a pepper ball gun…The treatment…was recently highlighted in the [class action suit over medical neglect in Arizona prisons.  Screws]…have no psychiatric training, but nevertheless told Muhammad that his frequent self-harming behavior is a choice…and…”We’ll gas you, we’ll shoot you, and we’ll tase you until you stop”…Muhammad has spent the majority of the past seven years in…[solitary confinement]…causing [even more] harm…

Creepy Coppers

Setting an example for his underlings:

The [typical and representative] East Helena [Montana] chief of police…admitted…that he distributed child pornography in 2019 using [Facebook]…William Daly Harrington…faces a mandatory minimum five years to 20 years in prison…[and] a $250,000 fine…[he was caught] in September 2020…[after] Facebook Messenger [told cops]…that the Facebook Messenger account…belong[ing] to Harrington….sent…child pornography…[to another] account…

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