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Posts Tagged ‘Never Call the Cops’

I’m going to fuck you up.  –  unidentified terrorist

I’m not really fond of westerns, but I am fond of Henry Mancini; I discovered this one on a 1970s tape marketing a quadrophonic sound system, and it popped into my head again recently.  The links above it were provided by Franklin Harris, Jesse Walker, Scott Greenfield, Walter Olson, and Cop Crisis (x3), in that order.

From the Archives

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Holy shit. This guy is going to kill me now.  –  Tristin Goods

Last weekend a heat wave hit the Pacific Northwest; on Sunday it reached 43o C at Sunset, and hotter than that in Seattle.  So naturally this song came to mind.  The links above it were provided by Scott Greenfield, Jesse Walker, Radley Balko, Mark Bennett, Elizabeth N. Brown, and Cop Crisis (x2), in that order.

From the Archives

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Authorities say rise of fruit aliens is to blame for glut of outer space watermelons.  –  The New York Times

Here’s another novelty song, this one from 1970; I remember thinking it was hilarious when I was a kid.  The links above it were provided by Stephen Lemons, President Dawg, Cop Crisis, Dan Savage, Scott Greenfield, Jesse Walker, and Radley Balko, in that order.

From the Archives

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All I could do was bend over and duck.  –  Lecresha Murray

Here’s another 1960s novelty song recorded by the stars of a hit TV show, in this case Patrick Macnee and Honor Blackman of The Avengers.  They’re not really in character, though of course Blackman’s character Cathy Gale was definitely an afficionado of “kinky boots”.  The links above the video were provided by Jesse Walker, Tim Cushing, Brooke Magnanti, Thaddeus Russell, Emma Evans, Cop Crisis, and Mike Siegel, in that order.

From the Archives

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It’s like they have nothing to do but harass families.  –  Charles Twyman

When Mike Siegel recently saw me post a Luna video on Twitter, he shared another unusual cover of a rock classic.  The links above the video were provided by Dan Savage, Billy Binion, Scott Greenfield, Violet Blue, Franklin Harris, Cop Crisis, and Dave Krueger, in that order.

From the Archives

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As anyone with half a brain could’ve predicted, Team MAGA and Team Unpronounceable String of Capitals are still fighting over COVID masking despite the fact that it will soon be a moot point.  This is especially sad because, like so very many societal issues, it has a very simple solution: “Mind your own damned business.”  A person has the right to cover their face in public if they want to, and their reason for doing so is none of your concern.  Maybe they’re paranoid; maybe they’re Muslim.  Maybe they were burned by acid.  Maybe they’re hopeless fantasy geeks cosplaying in public.  Maybe they’re overcautious about germs.  Maybe they’re severely immunosuppressed.  Maybe they are justifiably worried about facial recognition.  Maybe they were wrongly convicted and wish to avoid recapture.  Maybe they’re in mourning.  Maybe they just have a weird sense of style.  But no matter what the reason, nobody else has any more right to violate their boundaries, harass them about it, attempt to involve the state, etc, than they’d have to veto others’ tattoos or get Delta Dawn arrested for walking downtown with a suitcase in her hand.

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I’m a wanted felon for a VHS tape.  –  Caron McBride

Since Billie Hayes, best remembered as Witchiepoo from H.R. Pufnstuf, died this week, it seemed only fitting to salute her unforgettable absurdity with this, probably her best-remembered number from the show.  The links above it were provided by Franklin Harris, Amy Alkon, Scott Greenfield, Cop Crisis (x3), and Tim Cushing, in that order.

From the Archives

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The…state may not obstruct those who wish to participate in lawful transactions nor…those who wish to help them.  –  Justice Hayden

Droit du Seigneur

If a non-cop did this, do you think the court would simply ask his employers to demote him?

A New Jersey police chief…[who] offer[ed a cop] a promotion in exchange for sex with his wife and [underage] daughter, should [merely] be demoted, a…judge [declared]…Rudy Beu…was [found] guilty of…[a few status] charges…Beu…has been [on paid vacation]…since Feb. 26, 2020…

To Molest and Rape

Rapist cops often target sex workers for exactly this reason:

…on May 24, 2020…[sex worker and activist Jay St. James] was stalked and raped by Christopher Drumm, a [typical and representative Eugene, Oregon cop]…after the attack, she and her family were harassed by other [cop gang] members…No charges have been brought against Drumm—but St. James is now facing charges of her own after protesting her assault…three days before the a[ggravat]ed rape…Drumm responded to a domestic violence call at St. James’s house…St. James requested a mental health professional, but [of course they sent the pigs]…instead…the [cops refused] to make a report…about the abuse…[but instead reported her to] Child Protective Services…because [she had not magically teleported] her children [away the instant the] …domestic violence [started]…Drumm and his colleagues [also] sexually harassed her…For the next three days…Drumm continued to show up at her house unannounced…[then] on May 24…[he] returned…and raped her twice…

The Proper Study (#897)

Another study proves what sex workers have been saying all along:

Our research provides new causal evidence on the impact that criminalizing sex work in a lower‐​income country has on the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) by exploiting a natural experiment in which commercial sex work was unexpectedly criminalized in one district in East Java, Indonesia, while it remained noncriminalized in neighboring districts…criminalizing sex work increases STI rates among sex workers…by 27.3 percentage points, or 58 percent, from baseline…the main mechanisms driving the increase…are a decrease in access to condoms, an increase in condom prices, and an increase in sex without condoms…women who…leave sex work because of criminalization have lower earnings than those who leave by choice…children of [these] women…are more likely to work to supplement household income…criminalization [also] results in substantial increases in the probability of STI transmission to the general population…Understanding the impacts of criminalization…in lower‐​income countries is arguably even more important than in higher‐​income countries…

Skin To Skin (#980)

Wise judge refuses to allow prudish paternalism to trump human needs:

A senior judge has ruled it is lawful for carers [of people with mental disabilities] to help clients find and pay for sex…[but entitled busybodies plan] to appeal the judgment because of its implications for policies on [sending violent thugs to attack people for desiring consensual adult sex]…The young man…known only as C, is fit and healthy but…needs daily help with many parts of his life. He has autism and a genetic disorder – but [the judge]…found that he was happy and well-supported…C knew he would probably never find a girlfriend but he nevertheless wanted to experience sex – and so he had asked his carers if they could find him a sex worker…[but] C’s carers w[orried] they would [be]…legally [classified as “pimps”] if they agreed to help…Justice Hayden ruled that…If the law banned the carers from helping C, that would be discrimination because anyone else without his condition could lawfully pay for sex…

Pyrrhic Victory (#1052)

To the state, facial recognition systems’ false positives are a feature, not a bug:

In February 2019, Nijeer Parks walked into the Woodbridge…New Jersey…[cop shop after] receiv[ing] a frantic phone call from his grandmother telling him that p[igs]…had come [root]ing for him…Parks had trouble with the law…on drug-related charges, [but]…was now working a steady job as a carpenter…Parks [unwisely walked into the cop shop without a lawyer in an attempt] to clear his name…[but was instead arrested on bogus charges of] aggravated assault, unlawful possession of weapons, using a fake ID, possession of marijuana, shoplifting, leaving the scene of a crime, [and] resisting arrest…he spent 11 days in jail…[before] learn[ing t]hat the evidence against him was…a facial recognition scan of…[the] fake ID…What followed was a year-long legal nightmare for Parks, who faced years in prison and the potential of additional time due to his prior convictions…

Disaster (#1115)

Canada is following Australia and the US in trying to destroy the internet:

Canadian Senate Bill S-203…is another woefully misguided proposal aimed at regulating sexual content online.  To say the least, this bill fails to understand how the internet functions and would be seriously damaging to online expression and privacy…S-203 would make any person or company criminally liable for any time an underage user engages with sexual content through its service…unless the person or company “implemented a prescribed age-verification method”…[it] would criminalize the acts of independent performers, artists, blogs, social media, message boards, email providers, and any other intermediary or service…that is in some way “for commercial purposes”…The only meaningful defense…would be to verify the legal adult age of every user and then store that data…The sheer amount of technical infrastructure…would be costly and overwhelmingly complicated….[and] introduce many security concerns that weren’t previously there…the financial burden would only advantage the largest players online…the bill would likely force many companies to simply eliminate sexual content instead of carrying the huge risk that an underage user will access it…

You Were Warned (#1131)

Puritans never quite admit they want to destroy the internet, but this comes close:

U.S. Senator Bill Hagerty…has unveiled a [scheme] to repeal Section 230…and replace it with something he calls “Section 232.”  His [Orwellian-named] “21st Century FREE Speech Act“…would change the nature of online communication as we know it…the…bill…attempts to establish as U.S. federal policy the act of “facilitat[ing] the…blocking…[of] objectionable or inappropriate online material”…[and to] redefine “the major internet communications platforms” as “common carriers”…In quite explicit terms, Hagerty’s bill establishes a protection from censorship of “religious and political speech” while at the same time encouraging the censorship of “objectionable and inappropriate online material”…the…bill…would essentially enshrine a peculiarly vague notion of sexual content (i.e. “signifies the form of immorality which has relation to sexual impurity”)…an[d] active[ly] call for state and corporate censorship…

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Drop the bike or you’re gonna get arrested.  –  unnamed cop

You may have noticed that I am rather fond of novelty songs; here’s one from my childhood that the writer/singer insists is not meant to be suggestive.  The links above it were provided by Glenn Kessler, Billy Binion, Mike Siegel, The Onion, Radley Balko, Cop Crisis, and Phoenix Calida, in that order.

From the Archives

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They will still be criminalizing…our landlords, friends, drivers, and customers.  –  Maya Morena

R.I.P. Tempest Storm

Tempest Storm, the legendary burlesque star who blazed a trail for strip-tease artists for more than a half-century, has died.  She was 93…Storm had been struggling after surgery on her right hip on April 8…In 1956, she became the highest-paid burlesque performer in history when she signed a 10-year contract at $100,000 a year with the Bryan-Engels burlesque production company.  Soon after signing that deal, Storm married Herb Jeffries, the singer in Duke Ellington’s Orchestra known as Hollywood’s first singing black cowboy.  Seen as scandalous at the time, Storm would say the marriage cost her a potentially lucrative film career…Storm first performed in Las Vegas in 1951…and as late as 1987…She was 59 at the time…

Disaster (#925)

We did warn y’all that this wouldn’t stop with actual sex workers:

…it’s become increasingly clear…that the World Wide Web is…[no longer] a particularly hospitable place for…sex that deviates in any way from social norms.  Polyamorous dating app #Open…was removed from the Google Play Store for allegedly violating Google’s “Sexual Content and Profanity policy”…for including the words “threesomes,” “3some,” “DTF” and “kinky dates”…[because] they “imply sexual gratification.”  After removing the offending terms…the app was eventually reinstated…“without any notice…from Google,” following a nine-day suspension…[Creators Amanda] Wilson and [David] Epstein claim the suspension significantly damaged their business, costing #Open an estimated 2,000 potential new members…as well as causing the app to lose its position as the number one dating app to appear in searches for “polyamory”…

Oh noes, it damaged their business!  Surely that has never happened to the millions of sex workers Wilson & Epstein don’t give a shit about, thanks to these terrible policies they never opposed until they were harmed.

Stalkers in Blue (#989)

Another sexual predator specifically targets traumatized women:

A [typical and representative cop] who [stalked] four vulnerable domestic abuse victims has been dismissed for “appalling” gross misconduct…Colin Noble…[of] West Midlands Police…[was] secretly recorded…[by one woman aking her for] nudes…He a[sked another to show him]…her breasts…other complainants [produced]…a “catalogue of completely inappropriate comments” [he made] between 2014 and 2017…he turned up at [one victim’s] house unannounced up to 30 times, telling her she was “too pretty” for her boyfriend…[and] asking…if she had “ever slept with a black man”…[another] lied about having moved away from the Midlands to stop his calls…

Welcome to the Future (#1092)

In a just world, every politician in Pasco County would be jailed & the cop shop shut down:

The U.S. Department of Education has opened an investigation into…Pasco [County, Florida] school [bureaucrats’ violation of] federal law by sharing private student information with the…Sheriff’s Office…the school district shared information on student grades, discipline and attendance with [pigs, who then] used the data to compile a secret list of s[tudents] it [targeted for harassment based on claims that they] could “fall into a life of crime”…The school district has…repeated[ly lied, claiming that giving thugs information they could use to ruin young people’s lives is] a…“proper use of student information”…The Sheriff’s Office…[lied] that the program does not label kids as potential criminals, despite what its own manual says…

Castle on a Cloud

Putting stock in what politicians only say is like trying to build a castle on a cloud:

The Manhattan district attorney’s office announced…it would no longer prosecute prostitution and unlicensed massage…Cyrus R. Vance Jr….[claimed] his office had fully shifted its approach to prostitution [but this is a lie, because]…The office will continue to prosecute other [consensual] crimes related to prostitution, including [giving] sex workers [money] and sex [workers working together, keeping incalls, and other mundane practices demonized by prohibitionists as “trafficking”]…Vance’s move [appears to be intended to confuse voters who support his political opponent Eliza Orlins, who is calling for the actual decriminalization of sex work rather than Vance’s de facto Swedish criminalization]…

Guinea Pigs (#1108) 

Lest you think this is strictly a Chinese pathology, follow the subtitle link:

China’s Communist government has launched a new app that encourages citizens to report [others] for expressing “mistaken opinions” on the Internet…The new platform will target anyone who criticizes the dictatorship’s ruling CCP, disputes the official version of the country’s history or engages in “misinformation…and denying Party, national and military history in an attempt to confuse people’s thinking”…China already operates an onerous social credit score system that bans people from using transportation and engaging in other basic functions of society if they commit minor [sins] like jaywalking or buying too much junk food…

The Last Shall Be First (#1128) 

Since their “bathroom bills” kept getting struck down, transphobes are now trying to accomplish their goals by criminalizing doctors:

The mother of a transgender boy made a powerful speech [to] Texas [politicians], urging them not to pass legislation that would criminalize parents who allowed their children to receive [gender] affirming procedures…There are more than 10 [current] bills in Texas that specifically target transgender youth…Two [of them] would classify a medical practitioner helping a [legal minor] to transition as “abuse”…[another] would prevent liability insurance coverage for gender-affirming surgeries and treatments for [minors]…Several other states are considering anti-trans legislation [including]…Missouri

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