I have naturally good looks and skin, but I strongly think I need to refine them for my husband. In my country we don’t have as much variety of expensive beauty products as you do in the United States, so I was wondering if you could drop some tips on how to take care of oneself finely, like a courtesan did. It would help a lot.
Like you, most of my beauty is natural; my good skin, healthy color, and other features are all mine without having to do anything other than stay healthy and clean. I get plenty of sleep, avoid chaotic schedules whenever possible, eat a varied diet in small enough portions that I don’t put on weight, and wash my face and body with gentle products that don’t dry out my skin. I have never smoked, used drugs or drank more than a minimal amount of alcohol (and that only on rare occasions), and I’ve never subjected my hair to harsh chemicals in order to change its color or texture. And in fact, now that I’m aging I find myself at a bit of a loss, because I never really learned many beauty tips; for the first time I’m seeing grey hairs and dark circles, and though I don’t have any crows’ feet or smile lines yet I suppose it’s inevitable that they will eventually appear. So, I’m only now beginning to think about some aspects of self-care that others have been dealing with since their teens, and that means I’m not really a very good source of beauty advice. However, two months ago I asked my readers for new makeup suggestions and the response was excellent; I’m therefore going to “crowdsource” this question as well. Readers, what beauty secrets are you willing to share? Try to keep brand names out if you can, so the tips will apply in every part of the world.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Of course another solution is that if you’re a nice person and you have good friends, they’ll lie to you about your looks! 🙂
Defined brows and lashes are one way to always look “done” without makeup. I dye mine (they are very pale otherwise, and being white, blonde, and green/yellow eyes means I look all one tone au naturel). Also, keeping hair cut and in good condition. I have always cut my own hair, which has taken years of practice to get right but is a necessity now that I live out in the sticks.
One thing you can do is use regular oil or fats(olive oil, avocado oil, and almond oil, shea butter, wool fat) as a moisturizer. If you have naturally oil skin, this might now work as well, but it works very well on other types of skin. The trick is to use a very small amount, you want the oil to absorb into your skin, not make it shiny.
Staying clean and not eating sugar will also keep skin looking good. You don’t need to even use soap, just warm water and a soft towl, followed by a little oil.
If you have dry hair, rubbing a little oil in will also help, but what will help the most is not using shampoo and using your fingers to spend your natural oils through your hair. If your hair is very oily, only use a very small amount of shampoo to cut down some of the oil, and then massage oil into your scalp bit not your hair. That will encourage the skin of your scalp to produce less oil.
As for cosmetics, most cheep ones will do more harm than good, so pick one type you really need(eye liner, lipstick, ect) and find a source for a good quality one that works for you and then don’t worry so much about the rest.
I cosign onto this as well. I do a lot of DIY beauty maintenance products and since I worked at The Body Shop for years, I know how to make my own scrubs, oils, etc., cutting down on costs. I’ve heard only good things about all-natural Camellia oil for hair and skin (I just ordered a bottle from Japan myself). I also use a combination of rosehip seed oil, apricot kernel oil, almond oil, natural Vitamin E and some pure perfume oils for fragrance (obviously that’s optional) for my body moisturizer. That’s the perfume you smelled when we met on Monday. Soft & smooth skin is always a good thing, regardless of whether or not it is free of blemishes. I also use a similar combination on my hair, which naturally is very curly and extremely thick and runs towards dry.
But before moisturizing, you should make a scrub. How abrasive it is depends on you, but I always err towards gentle. I make a brown sugar scrub to which I add honey, lemon, rosehip seed oil. It’s gentle enough to use on my face. Since I workout a lot, I use the scrub 3x a week. On the whole, doing this deep exfoliation once a week works, but during the summer do it more often. And when you scrub your face, it’s a great time to massage it which is just so relaxing, especially if it was a frustrating day or week.
OH! Mineral water sprays are amazing. I spray my face with the Avene mineral water before moisturizing because a slightly damp face helps the skin soak up the moisturizer better. Mineral water spray is also used by a couple flight attendants I know because of their frequent travel and going in and out of controlled temperature environments and natural environment can wreck havoc on the skin. So for us regular folks, this is especially key in summer and winter when going in and out of buildings and vehicles means going from hot to cold in a matter of minutes. Also, frequently change your pillowcases and use a gentle detergent on them. If possible, use silk (or silk-like) pillowcases as they are gentle on both hair and skin.
And we talked about my current, frustrating issues with my Chanel foundation, but I’ll probably just end up buying the two different shades and mixing them together. Aww, Maggie, I wish I had known on Monday because I would have made you a scrub and sent it home with ya!
I’ll second this!
Indeed! I love argan oil. My skin is acne prone, yet it seems not to cause flareups for me, and is as good on hair as on skin. Applied right after a shower or bath a very little goes a long way.
There are a lot of tips around the internet and “natural beauty” sites for using food items in cosmetic fashions. Some that I have tried: sugar scrubs for body (i find them too harsh for my face) powdered milk and ground oatmeal for an exfoliating face scrub honey on blemishes to heal them faster olive/coconut oil as a post-wash sealant on hair (my hair hated it, but my hair seems to hate oils and love fatty alcohols…many people swear by a very light oil coat)
i don’t know if you have seen the “curly girl” approach to hair care, which advocates using a light conditioner as a scalp massage lubricant and no shampoo at all, or using shampoo only every few washes. it is best for wavy and curly hair rather than straight silky hair, and better for dry hair. my hair and skin tend to oily so it wasn’t a good fit for me, but trying it made me educate myself on chemical ingredients. now i am very careful of what i put on my skin and hair, as both react poorly to some of the common ingredients in cosmetics. the harsher detergents (sodium laureth sulfate, ammonium laureth sulfate…a couple others in that class) dry my skin and hair, so i avoid them in all soaps and skin washes and shampoos, and the silicones (dimethicone, centi-something-oxane…there are a lot of them but those are the most common) tend to dry my hair and make my face break out so i avoid those everywhere, too. these days i use a glycerin-based soap on my face (i have one with oatmeal in it for exfoliating, and one without) and a light mositurizer with as few ingredients as possible.
one very interesting thing i discovered about moisturizers was the older the brand, the more likely it was to be a less-chemical formulation. if you see anything that bills itself as unchanged for 50 years or something like that, check its label first. really that’s the main thing – learn common ingredients, see if you can determine which your skin and hair dislike, and always read labels if you are buying commercial products.
I don’t use shampoo at all, just conditioner to wash my hair. What I have noticed over the years is that my scalp and face produce less oil than they ever did before. I have long wavy/curly hair and shampoo turns it into straw.
I do have some things about the physical and product side of wellness and spa over on my blog. You did ask us to refrain from brand names though! I used to be much more grounded and did not have sleep cycle disturbances. I have developed them over the past fifteen years and it’s miserable. Being a massage therapist there are some assumptions about how we take care of ourselves. To be honest, now that I have had limited exposure to teaching and chose to finish my undergrad, I am more aware of the consumer nature of the wellness industry and health care in general. About oils, creams, lotions and essential oils I can say this with clarity and confidence: Almond is heavy. It’s not a good oil to use if your about to go out and need to put on clothes right away. Use grapeseed or apricot or coconut oil instead. All three absorb well but not so fast that you feel like you’ve wasted your time. Creams depend on what your using them for and for body creams you have to experiment. Do consider checking out sites like massagewarehouse.com for low to mid grade professional products. These are not going to be Resort spa products but they service small to mid size businesses and private practitioners. As for essential oils..it is worth your time to invest in a class. There are numerous ways a person with no professional background can find classes on the topic and there are numerous online organizations devoted to aromatherapy education. Try Facebook for groups on the subject!
Maggie wrote:
Guys don’t usually give beauty tips, but I do have a mental tip. I call grey hair, smile lines and crows feet character. And the older I get, the more certain I am that it’s true. Smile lines are much more desirable than frown lines.
What the heck, a practical facial tip too, good for women or men. A refreshing astringent for a freshly washed face, very inexpensive —
Witch Hazel (a plant extract name, not a brand name). It’s strongly astringent. Automagically converts crows feet into character. Feels great too. A weak solution in rubbing alcohol works well. In days gone by, bottles of the stuff at the right concentration for facial application were common in drug stores.
I would also make a point: if you hate something in your life, it shows, one way or another. If you’re happy with your life, it takes years off your appearance. This is true of every profession, but especially for courtesans.
(Sorry for the delay Maggie, but I am finally getting time to catch-up on posts from 15 months ago, when I fell and broke 6 ribs. If I may, I think your grey hairs and dark circles were due to the stress you were under going at the time, and I am certain that you are undergoing now. I’m not a don’t worry be happy sort, but being self-reliant as you have for years must give way to–in the words of The Beatles, “I get by with a little heLp from my friends.”