People don’t come alone to Mardi Gras to find a hooker. – Helena
Amateur women’s attacks on sex workers are always pretty pathetic, but this one is truly stupefying:
…real men don’t pay for sex. A man who needs to objectify women obsessively is not a man at all…when a man pays for sex, it says a lot about his character. It takes a certain type of man to believe that women can be bought and sold…just because you need sex doesn’t mean you have to get it through prostitution; a real man knows how to get it without his credit card…sex shouldn’t be bought, but earned…A real man would never take another man’s daughter, forced to live a life of prostitution, to bed. A real man isn’t satisfied with fake moans…
The way she flails wildly between demonizing whores and denying our agency is especially fascinating.
Not To Be Taken Internally (February Updates)
…“Lillian” is the professional name of Padge Victoria Windslowe, who is on trial…[for] third-degree murder…in the Feb. 8, 2011, death of exotic dancer Claudia Aderotimi…[who] flew to Philadelphia from London for a buttocks-enhancement procedure that consisted of silicone injections administered by Windslowe…The 20-year-old died after the silicone migrated to her lungs…Windslowe is [also] charged with aggravated assault for injections she gave 23-year-old Sherkeeia King in February 2012 at a “pumping party”…King was hospitalized, vomiting blood and struggling to breathe. Doctors found that silicone in her buttocks had migrated through her bloodstream to her heart and lungs…
This week’s rapist cops hail from Louisiana: “…James Greene [of Shreveport] was [only] charged with abuse of office…[for raping] a woman [at gunpoint]“…and Canada:
Three Toronto police officers…have been charged with…gang sexual assault…Constables Leslie Nyznik, 38, Joshua Cabero, 28, and Sameer Kara, 31…[raped] a female [cop]…
The ridiculous need to deny that sex work is legitimate work has some weird results at tax time:
…Ms X…set out her business plan for the Tax Office in considerable detail and sought confirmation that her earnings from her proposed activities would not attract tax in Poland. She would supply, she said, “virtual sex services”, using internet cameras and microphones to connect [to] the service buyer…Prostitution is not forbidden by law in Poland, but at the same time does not constitute a “socially desirable or acceptable behaviour”, and so contracts for prostitution cannot amount to valid and legally-enforceable undertakings. No income tax is due if a particular activity cannot be the subject of a legally-binding and enforceable agreement…the Tax Office…took the view that…as there was no physical contact in the services proposed, there was no…prostitution…and therefore…not tax-exempt.
Don’t be stupid, ladies; it was “tax evasion” that finally took down Al Capone:
A South Dakota man…paid $1 million over a four-year period for sex with an exotic dancer…David Karlen…was a star witness in a federal trial last year against Veronica Fairchild. She was accused of failing to pay taxes…sentenced to nearly three years in prison and ordered to pay more than $214,600 in back taxes.
An especially amusing twist on the “porn causes sex trafficking” trope:
…Pat Robertson…linked women who enjoyed…Fifty Shades of Grey to an increase in sex trafficking around the world…“How many women have read the book and how many women are going to the movie…It’s about all kinds of sadomasochism, it’s about bondage, about whips, it’s about boiling oil, it’s about various types of restraints”…
This article on how Mardi Gras affects the sex industry in New Orleans is interesting and more or less accurate (though I see some things have changed since my time, like this new “single woman” rule), but woefully incomplete: the “New Orleans sex economy” ain’t just strip clubs, y’all.
Remember, huge police operations have never found more than a single-digit number of “sex trafficking” cases in the UK:
Inside one of Britain’s biggest special anti-trafficking operations, police officers surrounded by files, forms and photographs attempt to unravel a complex network of crime…Operation Retriever was set up in September after police in northern England were alerted to a Slovakian woman who had been tricked into travelling to Britain and then forced to marry a man…There are as many as 13,000 victims of slavery in Britain, forced to work in factories and farms, sold for sex in brothels, or imprisoned in domestic servitude…
Why can people not get this simple concept through their thick skulls?
Homelessness is one of the main reasons youth…engage in “survival sex”…LGBTQ…youth are dramatically more likely to trade sex for a place to stay, according to a new study…Prior research has shown homeless LGBTQ youth were “seven times more likely” to trade sex than their heterosexual counterparts…Those surveyed saw, on average, 11 to 18 customers weekly…The law considers any minor participating in the sex industry to be “trafficked”…but…only 15 percent said they had been in an exploitative situation during their time in survival sex…
It’s good to see the mainstream media getting it:
…on June 25, 2014, visitors to RedBook got a rude shock. Instead of a directory of links to sexy ads, forums, and reviews, they saw a dire-looking alert from the Department of Justice, FBI, and IRS stating that RedBook’s domain had been seized. The Feds’ message, still up today, asserts that there is probable cause that the site was involved in “money laundering derived from racketeering based on prostitution”…
Banning prostitution from Auckland’s troublespots will not be a job for the Government. Instead, Auckland Council has been told it already has the power to pass a bylaw to address the problem. There had been interest in the law change because other cities, in particular Christchurch, were keen to have similar powers to ban prostitution near schools, family homes or sports facilities…
That first piece is quite interesting. I guess I’m a surreal man then.
”sex shouldn’t be bought, but earned…”
It’s interesting that she still acknowledges that sex is a transaction and she obviously thinks that all the effort should come from the man anyway. She doesn’t understand the concept of money. Most people don’t just HAVE money. It has to be earned and it’s a mean of trading effort.
”I’ve always been innately curious about the idea of strip clubs and escorts. It’s a part of a man’s world, like periods and “Real Housewives” for women.”
That’s odd, I’ve always thought escorting was a women’s world… But they’re probably not real women.
”She’s hot, easy and doesn’t make you cuddle her after sex.”
I like to cuddle after sex; that’s why I pay for real GFE service.
“just because you need sex doesn’t mean you have to get it through prostitution; a real man knows how to get it without his credit card…sex shouldn’t be bought, but earned…”
All three statements demonstrate the cognitive dissonance and false dichotomy employed by too many anti-sex work people.
For, “WHO SAYS” needing sex doesn’t mean you have to get sex through a credit card?
“WHO SAYS” what defines a “real man” (if there is such a thing). “WHO SAYS” a “real man” isn’t a man who only gets sex with a credit card? WHO says a “real man” can’t be a man who knows how to get sex both with and without a credit card?
“WHO SAYS” that “buying” is somehow intrinsically superior to “earning”? WHO SAYS that “earning” is essentially different than “buying” ?
It sounds like a person expressing their own preference as if it should be the norm. It also sounds like she’s desperate for a relationship and is trying to shame men into dating her. Manipulating men by calling them not real men is a very old tactic. It doesn’t work so well anymore, because doing what is expected of them doesn’t earn men respect as it used to.
Ooopppsss…I overlooked something and misworded during some editing — I wanted to word as, ““WHO SAYS” that “buying” is somehow intrinsically INFERIOR to “earning”?
I suspect part of her and other women’s adversity lies, perhaps unconsciously, in the fact that women’s reproductive cost (meaning, that if a woman gets pregnant, although the male can walk away, a woman cannot avoid dealing with the pregnancy) and women’s intense nurturing needs (meaning, a woman instinctively seeks a situation within which she and any potential offspring will be nurtured during the initial vulnerable stages) combine to essentially make it harder for a woman to fill her own sexual needs; whereas, in contrast, a man is able to fill at least part of his sexual needs without the complicating conditions (which women typically mislabel and oversimplify as “love”) which women typically face.
Obviously, a woman can open her legs to any guy; but, in order for her to actually desire a particular guy, be able to effectively sexually respond to him, and so actually enjoy sex with him, a woman typically has to find a guy whom she feels meets the conditions required by her biological wiring. As most women will admit, that’s no easy search for most women.
So…I suppose there is an instinctive competition element involved for women — for, prostitutes hypothetically reduce other women’s chances of discovering “Mr-Right” (if he’s fulfilling his sexual needs with prostitutes, then, hypothetically, he might have no reason to explore the options of other women, effectually removing him from other women’s pools of potential partners).
Although such an instinctive adversity to competition could be overruled by a woman’s use of rationale and objective reason (as in, “Yes, I feel this way because of my biology, but, no, I will not allow this instinct to control my actions here because it’s an instinct that serves no useful purpose nor neutralizes any actual threat in this situation”), it appears many women not only yield to their instincts but also attempt to level the playing field by demanding that men have to have it as difficult as women do in satisfying sexual needs. Women such as Lauren Martin insist that “men” are not permitted to play by any biological “rules” except the rules women face.
“Real men, like women, can find sex without compromising their integrity and morals.”
Real men are like women. Gotcha. You’re one of THOSE feminists.
The good news is on that 1st item on the top is that most of the commenters so far are attacking the idiot author’s, Lauren Martin’s, ideas about prostitution and ideas about what “real men are. She deserves it. I guess in her book at least 70% of American men aren’t real men because that is the percentage of American men who have paid for prostitutes at least once in their lives. This percentage does not include American men who have hired the services of other sex workers such as strippers, phone sex workers et. which is probably higher than the percentage of men who paid for services from prostitutes.
Heterosexual prostitution is most common then in 2nd place comes homosexual male prostitution. Most of that is due to the heterosexual males outnumbering the bisexual males who in turn outnumber the homosexual males. However, some of the reason heterosexual prostitution exists is because women have a tendency to starve men of sex while simultaneously trying to get men to spend money on dates. Prostitution is usually the most honest relationship a man can typically have with a woman, he gets what he wants-SEX- just for paying for it with less hassle and the nasty games women play such as getting men to spend money on her for dates when she wouldn’t otherwise associate to him if he wasn’t spending money on her for dates. What I am trying to say is that just from my own anecdotal experience which may not be your experience is that homosexual men waste each other’s time, financial resources and patience less often than heterosexual couples do because they are more honest with each other on average. By the way, I am a heterosexual man, but I have had homosexual friends and acquantances in the past. I would say in my humble opinion that homosexual men find it easier to get sex from AMATEURS on average than heterosexual men if both live in big city areas(it may be different in rural areas), and even homosexual men pay for sex more often than women by hiring the services of prostitutes. I live in a big city area called Chicago-land.
Why do heterosexual men so often lie about loving women and being faithful or treat women abysmally in other ways so often to get sex? Because it works maybe more often than not. Why do women deceive men about liking them just to get men to spend money on dates while offering nothing in return and otherwise treat men abysmally? Because it often works maybe more often than not. If women gave all the sex men wanted to all the men who wanted it, then prostitution would not exist is number one, and number two is if men and women were more honest with each other and treated each other better then prostitution would not exist. However, we all know prostitution exists since the dawn of history and even before in pre-history of humankind, exists now and shall ever exist as long as we are human on this Earth and the rest of the universe. Lauren Martin is an IDIOT!!!.
In my opinion, most young and middle aged heterosexual men unlike most young and middle aged heterosexual women cannot get sex whenever they want. Only a few heterosexual men can. The same can be said for getting into the kind of Romantic relationships that Lauren Martin approves of when speaking of most heterosexual men. I suspect it may be the same for most heterosexual women, but unlike her, I will not presume to speak for them and declare what a real woman is or is not, at least not today. Then she can not figure out why prostitution exists. The solipsism of her mind astounds all who see her. Never had she been accused of trying to imagine or perceive oneself as someone else especially a man.
I know Kingsey found around 70%, but I have the feeling it’s probably lower now. Getting sex outside of marriage is easier today, while buying sex has become increasingly stigmatized. Of course it depends on how we define ”sex” and ”paying”. By formulating the question in a specific way we could get any number we want between 10 and 100%.
I remember hearing Dan Savage say a reason gays are more honest in their relationship, or at least better at communicating with their partner, is because they have to be. They do not have pre-cast social role to fill and they really have to work out together what the relationship is going to be. They don’t have someone to tell them ”this is how a real gay men behaves”.
Additionnally, our new law in Canada says that:
”286.1 (1) Everyone who, in any place, obtains for consideration, or communicates with anyone for the purpose of obtaining for consideration, the sexual services of a person is guilty of…”
This includes married people if the husbands offers a specific gift for a specific sex act to just to get more. There is no exception stated in the law for the purchaser and the cutoff it is completely left to the law enforcement (which is thankfully very liberal).
Leave it on the books long enough and soon enough it will be used. Our elite like to cook us slowly like boiling live frogs so we don’t notice that they are harming us. We not only need to rid this stupid law but need to rid ourselves of the cultural aspects that produced it.
I agree that fewer men are hiring prostitutes than in the past for the reasons you stated. However, in terms of sex work which is legal now such as pornography, phone sex and strippers etc. then I disagree because I think it is higher than in the past.
It may or may not be that Dan Savage is right. However a better explanation is this. Men generally speaking know and understand each other better than they know and understand women. Likewise, women generally speaking know and understand each other better than they know and understand men. This is true whether the relationship is platonic or sexual or romantic or professional. The difference in our Western culture in general and particularly here in the USA( or Canada which is the most similar to the USA) is that a higher percentage of men want to truly know and understand women even though they are incompetent at it, but a lower percentage of women want to know and understand men even though they are incompetent at it. Lauren Martin is a fine example of what I am writing about.
If we’re talking volume of the sex industry it is certainly higher, but I think the proportion of people who enjoyed a naughty picture once in their life is not necessarily higher now then 100 years ago. Kids have been trading pictures of Betty Page or equivalent since the dawn of time. And today a lot of the porn we can get is amateur and available for free. ”Prostitution” is not even an activity. It is just the fact of exchanging money for some activity that is otherwise perfectly unremarkable.
I think the reason men in our culture desperately want to understand women is that the penalty for misunderstanding them can be very painful 🙂
Doclove, do you get the impression that the mood in America is slowly changing? A few years ago, the author would not have received so much criticism for such an article.
I hope so. I’m trying to change it talking to one person at a time.
In regards to Redbook, I sincerely hope they can start up a similar website.
Shreveport Times: It’s only a matter of time before this state’s law enforcement lobby ends up getting the Penn & Teller: Bullshit! treatment. (Hopefully soon.)
Vice: From the times I went to Big Daddy’s, they had their share of good-looking women. (VIP payments may result in a handjob.)
“…real men don’t pay for sex. A man who needs to objectify women obsessively is not a man at all…when a man pays for sex, it says a lot about his character.”
O … kay. So, I guess I’m not a “real man”. And? I therefore don’t actually like the occasional bit of fellatio, that I can afford because I engage in productive labour?
Sorry, but the world doesn’t actually work like that.
About the very first article: I don’t see why having a one night stand with a woman is less demoralizing than paying a woman for sex.
but hey, maybe I’m old-fashioned. If I were a man, I would be happy, because I don’t have to pay that much for sex. To me it’s just a cheaper deal.
A professionals’ way of thinking has more logic to it.