A couple of years ago, I was busted in a high-profile client sting. Now that my case is over and I’m a free citizen again, I am looking for ways to be part of the counter-narrative, to argue against criminalization and for civil rights and justice reform and so many of the surrounding issues. How can I contribute?
It all depends on how brave you want to be, how “out” you want to be as a client, and how much you stand to lose. I think joining COSWAC would be a good start; another good move is financially supporting outspoken sex workers like me (either by booking dates with us or by donations). Doing either of those doesn’t require you to be “out”, and they’d allow you to help while considering how much you really want to expose yourself. Because I’ll tell you this: choosing to come out as a sex worker or client is not a decision to be made lightly. It’s a one-way street, and could potentially affect your life for years to come if not indefinitely. Though it’s absurd to make such a big deal about one person’s private, consensual sexual choices, the fact is we live in an authoritarian society which presumes to claim the “right” to control everyone’s sexuality; to represent personal choices as some sort of grave issue affecting all of society (especially women and “children” who aren’t involved in the choice and don’t even know the parties who were actually involved); and to treat sexual issues as though they were worse than mayhem and murder (where’s the “murder offense registry”? How about the “abusive cop registry”?) I’m definitely not trying to talk you out of speaking out as a client; in fact, I celebrate men who do so. But I want you to make the decision carefully and with all due consideration, so that when the inevitable repercussions appear (and they will, trust me), you have the courage of your convictions and can stand firmly against the storm.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)