What would a young escort con/swindler look and behave like? And what her target most likely be like?
One of my very early columns was on just that subject; as you can see there are a number of different types, but I must point out that a con artist who can easily be identified as such wouldn’t be a very successful con artist. The best rule for avoiding sex work scams is the same as the best rule for avoiding any other kind of scam: “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” Beware of lowball pricing and exorbitant promises, don’t be in a hurry and look for signs like a well-designed website, good reviews and a businesslike manner. Even if a lady doesn’t allow reviews, the fact that she invested in a good website and professional photos rather than relying solely on cheapie ads and motel-room selfies tells you she views her business as a business rather than as a con game, and that she’s in it for the long term rather than trying to get as much as possible as fast as possible before getting out. Similarly, a professional manner of dealing with clients tells you that she’s been doing this for a while.
Though some clients would tell you that there’s no such thing as a good Backpage girl, I disagree; I have lots of friends who advertise there, and some say it makes them more money than the pricier, more “upscale” ads do. A few years ago a regular reader told me he loved Backpage and had found plenty of good girls there; however, he kept the “too good to be true” principle in mind, looked at how she had written her ad, avoided ladies under 25 and took his time making the dates. That last is very important; both con artists and cops will try to rush you, so it’s better to avoid anyone who does.
The last part of your question is the simplest to answer, but the one people are least likely to accept. One of my university boyfriends used to say, “Nobody can take advantage of you unless you have larceny in your heart.” In other words, the majority of scams are based on the mark’s desire for a free lunch, easy money, something for nothing, or some other unfair advantage. If you’ve spent more than an hour perusing escort ads in your locale, you know what the going rate is; be willing to pay it and stay far away from “bargains”, “deals” and “specials”, and the chances of being fleeced are as almost as low as they are in any other business.
Without recommendations from friends, what’s the safest way for me to find out if an escort is real and not a cop? I’ve found a girl based near me; she seems to tour, has all positive reviews for years, has appeared in a recent documentary, and googling her name brings up Eros and only a few other sites linking hers. I’ve also googled escort busts in my area and come up pretty empty aside from a few streetwalker stings. I feel like I’ve done all the due diligence that I can to ensure my safety, but wonder if there’s anything else you could recommend?
If she has a years-long history and reviews, and appeared in a documentary, I think you can be pretty sure she is what she claims to be. Enjoy your date!
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
In my post-soviet country “bait and switch” (and danger of general dishonesty and lack of business ethics in all areas of life, not only sex work) is very likely. it’s a regular practice to put fake photos online (usually stolen from erotic photography sites). Sometimes even respectable (highest price!) escorts do that – please keep in mind that in Eastern European setting that, unfortunately, is not surprising for any business or service, if it’s local.
Usually these stolen photos look very professional, so clients started to trust more amateur photos, but now “bait and switch” escorts use fake amateur photos as well. So, using Google Image Search to check if the picture was actually stolen from a foreign erotic site on the internet is vital. You just have to type the picture’s address (it can be found in its properties) in Google Image Search and if 10 similar results from foreign erotic sites pop up, it’s fake. If 4 similar results from local escort boards pop up, that’s OK.
To counter this and prove they’re trustworthy, honest girls usually hold a recent newspaper or a paper with some handwritten text that proves that their photo is really made especially for the site, for this service, and is taken in this particular city.
There are A LOT of scams in Eastern Europe. Personally, I find some of the Russian girls to be some of the biggest “gamesters” out there. Now, I can’t say they all are, probably one of my best experiences was with a Russian gal (named Iris) from St. Petersburg – but even she was a serious “hustler”, though an honest one. Over dinner in Copenhagen one night she was lamenting how her sister, who just recently moved to Copenhagen, was getting screwed by her new land-lord. Iris told me … “It’s so frustrating, in Russia … we have “Russian-Way” to handle these things … but it’s not acceptable to do that in Denmark.” I take it the “Russian-Way” she spoke of was to have a big male relative beat the shit out of the landlord – that’s almost certainly what she meant!! Sooo … I guess what I’m saying is that some cultures find certain “behaviors” acceptable and that may account for the really “sharky” Russian women I’ve run across. But I’ve never had a bad experience with one – I just passed on seeing them because I do my research and realized what I would be walking into.
In general though, when looking for an escort in Eastern Europe – Maggie’s advice still holds pretty well. The “upscale” escorts in Eastern Europe are still cheaper than most reputable escorts in the states so I recommend you go for the top shelf in EE. Those girls will have excellent websites with great pictures. One, in Prague – a little redhead – always cycles new pics up on her website. She’s a web programmer actually and does her site herself and it’s not like any other you’ll find. I don’t want to mention her full “stage” name but her first name is “Carolina”. She also has some YouTube videos up that are of her just talking – nothing even remotely suggestive but a guy will almost fall in love with her watching those videos. She is not a scam at all and I can personally vouch for that. Another favorite of mine in Prague was a gal named “Damiana” – she is retired now but she was six feet tall and built like a model. Damiana had a “day job” AND a car – a car she loved to drive, and as long as I paid for gas she’d dive me all over the Czech Republic. Sweetest girl you could imagine – very family oriented, loved her family to death. We had great times and her rates were so good I would just hire her for a whole extended weekend.
Plenty of girls about the same in Slovakia too, in Bratislava. Romania – well the more depressed the economy, it seems to me – the number of scams increases. Desperate girls I suppose, more willing to try to cheat you. But even there, you can find OUTSTANDING girls if you take Maggie’s advice, take your time and think with the big head.
I have to say … Russian, Romanian, Czech, Slav, Hungarian – the EE women are my FAVORITE women in the world – even over American women. They are all TOUGH fuckin’ women no matter how pretty and delicate they may seem. They all have a REALIST vision of the world – they’ve seen some of the worst hardship, and survived it – and they don’t tally with “dramatics” over minor things – which American women seem to obsess over. They are EDUCATED and I never feel smarter than the girl I’m with if she’s from the EE. They have taught me so many things … from how to actually eat in a Michelin Star restaurant to what to do when attending an opera. One of the things I like about them is they have a “sixth sense” about men. They can size you up instantly and KNOW what kind of dude you are and if you’re likely to screw them over. The reason I like this is because I am a genuinely good guy when it comes to dealing with women and I’m honest – and never screw them. I’ll always pay more than their rate and never try to “game” them. Because they can recognize this in me almost instantly – they immediately open up the warmest part of themselves. I cannot say this about a lot of American escorts – who are always on guard until you’ve seen them two or three times.
You sound like a great client, Krulac. If only you were kinky, I’d invite you to my dungeon for a fetish session!
“I cannot say this about a lot of American escorts – who are always on guard until you’ve seen them two or three times.”
Acht! I really wish it wasn’t so, but I must admit, I don’t trust any client until a bit of a relationship has been established. The hardest part of the job (at least for me) is dealing with the fear and anticipation. Not all sex workers feel this way–Maggie, for instance, doesn’t seem scared of men AT ALL–but I am scared of all my clients until they prove trustworthy. Most of them turn out to be okay, but I’ve had guys cheat me out of my fee (my favorite was a guy who tried to pay me with his wife’s used le perla lingerie) and sexually molest me. I know you’re thinking “How can you molest a sex worker?” and it’s when a guy does something you haven’t agreed on, or deliberately oversteps your stated boundaries. I hate it when that happens. It feels awful to be taken advantage of. It’s also true that certain clients get a thrill out of trying to get a fetish worker to do sexual things that escorts do. I don’t consider myself to be any “better” than an escort and I think all sex workers are in the same boat together, but there is a reason I’m not an escort, and that’s because I don’t think I’m cut out for full service. It makes me mad when guys AGGRESSIVELY try to get me to do it (can’t blame a guy for asking, but some of them are very rude/threatening) when I explained what my boundaries are before I even showed up, and they agreed.
I tell myself that most of my clients are more scared of me than I am of them–after all, most are married and “off the grid” when they see me, and they have no idea if I’m going to show up as nice polite Margo or some tattooed drunk girl who smokes in the elevator. Being men, though, they still have a physical advantage.
“That last is very important; both con artists and cops will try to rush you, so it’s better to avoid anyone who does.”
Absolutely true, and I’ve found that it holds for clients as well. Guys that want to see me RIGHT NOW are usually drunk or high, and it suggests that they might have impulse control problems. And if they’re cops, well, a last-minute booking prevents me from doing a thorough screening process, yes?
Haha! That made me laugh! My “impregnation fantasies” aren’t “kinky”?! Is this what it’s like to feel “normal”?! But no, I’m not up for being chained up in a dungeon.
But … be honest … if a really nice, considerate, well-paying and good looking guy came to you and, at some point in your routine, “full service” just seemed like a natural thing to do … you’d do it – wouldn’t you? Even if you told him not to talk about it later so the word wouldn’t get out. I really don’t know a single FBSM gal who hasn’t “gone there”! Realizing, of course – that you aren’t “FBSM” and only “massage” things with your whip! 😀
It’s great to read a blog that is so different and provides such amazing insight into this world!
if you are searching Backpage for an appointment google image search will be your best friend. If you are using Google Chrome as a browser you can right click to do an image search.
As to question 2, at some point you have to bite the bullet and go for it. The first time can be nerve wracking but it does get easier. You seem to have achieved paralysis by analyses.