Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money. – Moliere
One year ago today, I started this blog in order to have a soapbox from which to share my views on my profession; I wanted to do my small part in getting the word out that whores aren’t really different from other women and that laws suppressing our trade are evil, oppressive and unfounded in even the most tenuously defensible legal precedent. I also hoped to help men and women to understand each other a little better, to find a creative outlet for my writing skills and perhaps even to entertain people along the way. The Honest Courtesan has been more successful than I ever would’ve guessed; though I intended from the very beginning to post every day for at least the first year, I was pretty tired at the end of December and publicly worried that I would not be able to keep up the pace. But then I got my second wind, changed the way I did a few things so as to make the process a bit less grueling, and managed to accomplish my initial goal without burning out or once missing a deadline. After 365 posts, 8300+ comments, almost 250,000 hits and 87 subscribers, I don’t think it would be prideful of me to say that this blog is a success; I am respected by my readers and peers, complimented often, quoted and linked all over the internet and regularly contacted by journalists and other professionals for my expert opinions. And that’s probably more than an overeducated middle-aged whore with a big mouth deserves.
So now I really am going to slow down just a teensy little bit, not only to give myself a breather but also to make time for all the guest blogging, editing, activism and other outside projects my popularity has attracted. I’m still going to post every day (gods willing), but on holidays and perhaps a couple of other days per month my columns will be much shorter (though most will continue at the present 750-1500 word range, which I find very comfortable). Because there are far too many past columns for any new reader who isn’t completely obsessed to even hope to slog through, starting tomorrow I’m introducing a new daily feature called “One Year Ago Today”, which will be a link and a short description of the column from that date the previous year; this will enable interested new readers to catch up gradually. Most days the feature will probably be just a PS at the end of the regular column; other days it may actually be embedded in a new column on the same subject, and on still other days (such as holidays) the column may only consist of the link and a few new or introductory thoughts on the subject of the earlier column.
One of the projects on which I’d like to work is one which many of my readers have asked for, namely a collection of my best columns. It’s quite easy to publish electronically nowadays, and I’d also like to explore doing a limited run of paper copies (to start, more can always be printed if need be) for no other reason than it would do my little librarian’s heart good. I also feel like it might let me reach an audience which doesn’t generally read blogs. The columns I select will have to be modified a little; hyperlinks will have to be replaced by quotes and attributions, and references to earlier columns which don’t appear in the collection subsumed in the text, that sort of thing, but I should be able to do those pretty quickly once I start. Before I do anything else, though, I’ll need to know which columns to include, so I’d like your help in figuring that out. Please comment to this post or send me an email listing your ten favorite columns from the past year. You don’t need to rank them because I’m going to score them simply by the number of lists on which they appear, ignoring the order they appear in; if you can’t think of ten just put as many as you like. Then at the beginning of August I’ll do a column in which I list the top ten columns calculated in a number of different ways: The top ten by number of page views, the same list corrected by removing columns usually found by popular image searches, the top ten by number of comments, my favorite ten and your favorite ten. And all of those will go into the book.
Thank you so very much for reading, for responding, and for making this project more fun and rewarding than I ever would’ve imagined it would be. And most especially thank you all for your kind words and unflagging support, without which I think I would’ve run out of juice long ago. Here’s to the next year!
Maggie,
Congratulations on your anniversary. I recommend your blog to all of my provider & hobbyist friends as a source of enlightenment & great discussion.
Keep up the great work and just as in music, keep moving it a little further every time.
Thank you, Jack! Please do keep spreading those links around; that’s how the word gets spread! I am reliably informed that my blog is one of those activists have been bombing Asstoon & Dummi’s site with over the past few days. 😉
You’re damn right this is a successful blog!
I don’t come here for titilating PRON – of which there is none anyway. I come here because you think differently from the average person and provide a different view of solutions to the major problems of today. You are also an incredible writer and it’s just a joy to read everything you write. Usually, I skim posts on blogs – but “skimming” posts here cheats me out of the experience of reading some wonderfully written opinions.
I’m a recovering Conservative … and before that, in my younger years, I was a recovering Socialist. I’ve come to the conclusion that all political parties require taxpayer money, once they are in power, to “re-distribute” so they can pay off their respective constituencies to remain in power. It doesn’t matter if it’s the Democrats or the Republicans – they all need this money even if they “talk” about cutting taxes and reducing spending – it’s just a ruse to get votes from all of us in the great unwashed masses.
So all government is evil to me now. I’m tired of my money being taken and then being told what kind of light bulbs I can put in my house, what kind of gas I can put in my car, etc … etc … ad nauseum …
There are days I wish we could turn your blog into a political movement of some sort, Maggie!
Anyways – thanks for it!
Also – as far as your “best of” columns – well you will absolutely have to include the one where you were arrested – that series is one of your best I think!
And hells yeah! Take it slower – you are retired now! Well, I’m retired too but I’m writing this from a ship that’s currently in the Arctic Circle doing research … so don’t take it “too” slow … if you don’t use it … you WILL lose it!
LOL!
Mark, I’m overwhelmed! Thank you so much! 🙂
Good show! And I can say I knew you when, well at least near the beginning of your success 🙂
I still haven’t made the time to go back and look at all your posts from the beginning.so I love the “one year ago” today concept.
I realized 365 past columns could be pretty daunting, so I figured small doses might encourage catching up. 😉
Me too! I didn’t get a chance to read this until Monday, what in Bones of Contention made me think that today is your anniversary?
Favorite articles-
Numerology for sure. Got you a lot of attention, and it was our first “show” together… so it’s my fave.
July 11th, 2010 was my first regular (daily) column, but the introductory column was posted on July 10th, 2010. 🙂
Wow! A column a day for a year! I am in awe of this productivity and the fact that the columns are well researched, insightful, and stylishly written. It’s the first stop on my lunch break every day.
D. Clark
Thank you very much, Dean! I’m rather astonished myself that I managed it!
Congratulations and here’s to not just the next year but several more to come
Congratulations on your one year anniversary, Maggie! I found your blog back in December, and immediately went back and read every column I had missed. Reading Maggie McNeill has been an essential part of my day for months now. Thanks for being a champion for unrepentant whores everywhere. Bravo!
Donn, Harlow…thank y’all both so much! I’m very touched by everyone’s kind words today! 🙂
I suggest an E-book with integrated photos, some music, integrate it for new media.
Some short essays, some stats listings, some links to other peoples’ studies, some short articles, some quotes from comments from other whores, a “dictionary” section (a humorous take on neofeminists), a definitions section, and then reproductions of commentary from neofeminists.
Stake out their arguments (as presented) and put them in context: marxist, neocolonialist, conservative busybody, etc. Point out the similarities.
You cold get really, really creative – not a linear text at all.
When you free yourself for the necessity of writing a book, and instead taking advantage of this new media, you can get really creative.
I suggest this could be really effective.
Distribution: I know you like to make cash, but what you should do is make sure the standards are up to your usual, and then distribute it freely. Use bit torrent: It can be uploaded to a site designed to distribute files. The title will be catchy.
Create a simple webpage with link to a paypal donation option.
If you make payment optional this is what will happen:
– You’ll get more money over time. Ask for donations of, say, $2 or $4 per person. No more. If they want to give more, fine. Your goal is to hit every English reader.
Lots of people who wouldn’t pay for it but would read it anyway might be guilted into paying for it. If not, no loss.
Those who wouldn’t read it because they wouldn’t pay for it might actually read it (and not pay for it ) – again, no loss but a plus: people that otherwise wouldn’t read it will end up reading it.
This is the direction of publishing. Screw publishers. It’s a waste of time.
Publishers are an artifact of the media: The need for paper. Limited reach.
The internet allows you to write and get messages across in non-linear formats. You can parcel it out. Organize it in intuitive rather than proscriptive ways.
And if you do it well, I guarantee you you’ll make more money.
People love genuineness.
I always look forward to reading your blog, you’re speaking up for so many of us. I’ve always thought of doing something with all my memories, but I’m not writer. I draw comics. We need your voice out there, talking about this stuff. You are one of the very few, educated voices speaking out.
No, we don’t always agree, (My politics seem to remain somehow true to my roots, Labour, Old, pre-Tony Blair Labour, “Red ’till I’m dead.”) But I do agree with so much of what you write, you’re spot on on so many things.
Keep it going. We need you.
Thanks, Comixchik; since people do have so many different ideas about politics, I try to keep most of my political ideas out of the column except insofar as they impact sex workers and decriminalization, but obviously they’re going to seep in from time to time (it seems rather more than less of late). My main, guiding political principle is that individuals have the right to be free to do as they please as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, and that’s a principle I think most if not all of those who support sex worker rights can agree on no matter what else they believe. I have readers who self-identify as everything from “conservative” to “socialist”, but all of them seem to agree that the government doesn’t belong in adults’ bedrooms, and that’s an important common ground.
Congratulations, Maggie. As a sometime fellow writer, I salute your terrific achievement–I have a pretty fair sense of just how hard it would be to fulfill such a commitment. Thanks from a grateful reader.
You’re very welcome, Bando! 🙂
Maggie, please feel free to write about politics, or anything else you wish, it’s your blog and I’m damn happy you’re writing it!
Maggie, I love your blog – I’m one of your daily readers as well, although I often can’t think of anything intelligent to add. Congratulations on 365 columns – that is quite an accomplishment! I have a terrible time writing that often on my blog. But mine has quite a different focus.
Thank you, Donna! Honestly, I’m amazed I was able to do it myself!
Congratulations, Maggie. 365 columns is some achievement. I’ve learned so much from your writings over the past year and even when I don’t altogether agree with what you say I always obtain a fresh perspective on the subject-matter.
I’m especially glad to hear from readers who don’t always agree with me; it lets me know that my column appeals to thinking people with their own ideas rather than those who just want someone else to tell them what to believe. 🙂
Your columns are so amazing that I find ranking them impossible. I love them all. So instead of ranking them I have selected columns that I have discussed with friends.
The three columns that I have discussed with friends are:
1. Independence Day
2. Perquisites
3. Whores In History
Somewhat like Mark, I am an ex-Conservative. I suppose I have been a Libertarian since childhood without having heard the word.
Keep up the great work Maggie. I so enjoy reading your columns.
Thank you so much, Rapid! Readers, that’s a great idea; which columns have you found yourself talking or thinking about later? That’s as good a definition of “favorite” as any! 🙂
The only point where I personally disagree with Maggie is on the “credit card cash recalls” when customers cheat her.
While she called it “rape” – a withdrawal of (conditional) consent – I would call that either theft or fraud.
if her argument were good, then a man who promises marriage, has sex with a woman, and then renegs on the marriage (this ACTUALLY happens in India and Pakistan), is convicted of the same rape crime as a stranger who rapes a strange woman at gunpoint.
To my mind, that’s absurd. At worst, it’s breach of contract and a sue-able offense.
I would say it’s commercially/privately actionable.
It’s the same trivialization of rape and assault that date-rape campaigners engage in.
Maggie’s position on this is quite understandable, given obvious self-interest: if sex is commercial, it’s tempting to criminalize breaches of contract of a commercial nature. That’s a minor break in consistency for self-interest. Most are intellectually guilty of far more.
Other than that–
Maggie’s never taken a stand that opposed liberty or infantilized men or women.
And that’s impressive.
Whoa now, I never said it was the same crime as aggravated rape! Clearly negligent homicide and cold-blooded murder are both “homicide”, yet not the same crime. And purchasing goods with a bogus check is still “theft”, but it isn’t the same as armed robbery. The defining act of rape is penetration of a woman without properly-gained consent; I would call rape with a weapon “first degree”, rape by force “second degree”, rape while the woman is incapacitated (chemically or otherwise) “third degree” and rape by fraud “fourth-degree”. Even if you disagree with my position (and you’re certainly free to), it’s not intellectually inconsistent.
But thank you for the compliment at the end, there. 😉
I don’t think it’s rape of any kind. She consented to the sex but he stiffed her on the fee.
I don’t see how that’s any worse than steeling $300 from her handbag. In fact I think it’s equivalent.
You don’t usually do the feminist gymnastics of privileging the gravity of crimes against women, but I think you’re doing it here.
See my reply below. But you’re forgetting that in such a case the girl is out her fee, her time (that she could’ve done a good call) AND the service. It was more like stealing $600 than $300.
Yeah, I might buy that. In civil cases they take these things into perspective when awarding compensation.
In criminal cases, they also assign a penalty to the thief.
say he walks out.
I say, if the evening cost her $350 in fees, he should owe this, plus if convicted a fine of say $300. She can then pursue compensation:
– Her legal fees in recovering the debt, like any debtmake
– A penalty and interest for the non-payment of the fee
In extreme cases, she could also pursue compensation for lost income.
And add in this:
Such trials (civil actions) are PUBLIC.
If I were her, I’d sock it to him. In a professional manner. That’s one reason why it should be legalized: so that it’s seen as a real business.
The whore I dated once made 2700000 kwon in one night she didn’t expect, on a call from an agency she rarely worked for, during the time I was ostensibly seeing her; that’s about $2600. It was for dinner, a meeting, some serving of food (alcohol, too) and sex with another co-worker and two men which became no sex at all- there was way, way too much alcohol. She called me to collect her around 4:00 in the morning because at that hour, it can be a bitch to get a taxi without enduring hassles in Seoul. I was extremely annoyed – and still dealing with her being a, well, whore. But she needed an excuse to evacuate. i was her excuse – I was from “the agency” and I had to collect her. The guys were drunk and it was definitely time to bail.
Say she went to meet another guy instead of this call from an agency she rarely worked for. They met up, had sex, and she did her social thing, and entertained a client of her customer. Then her (the payee) stiffs her.
here again, you see a complication; The recipient of sex isn’t the payer. Who’s guilty of rape?
That clarifies it more: it’s a breach of contract of a commercial nature.
If she’d been stiffed by this guy or the agency, it would have been a huge loss.
She chooses to let another girl go along on the Big Evening and instead actually has sex with the other guy – who steals his $400 fee back.
She’s ACTUALLY lost out on the chance to make $2600.
She could claim:
– $400
– Penalty and interest (it would be statutory). Lets say $150 + $40 (10%)
– Legal fees. Whatever they are. Could be about $500 in Korea.
You’d set up a court for these kinds of things.
So say you did that.
The guy would be on the hook for $1090 to the woman/agency.
He would also have to pay say $250 in fines, which would go to the city government as a penalty.
Maybe add in one more thing: If it gets that far, it’s public and anyone would have access.
Out-of-court settlements would be okay.
I say that’s pretty good.
Maggie, if it ever got that far, you might not like the gov all over it, but you have to admit —
It would be a huge improvement over whores’ current status.
That got screwed up by my cut and paste.
I was also going to say she could have filed for lost revenues, as well: as well as lost revenues for having to come to court.
If she could claim, say, $500 in lose revenues and then time in court (say another $300), then that’s a solid $1890 for being fucked over by a bad client.
IE, if you owe the $300, pay the damned $300.
It requires judges to treat sex workers as vendors of a product – any kind of product.
Instead of rape, where sex is treated as “special”, this is exactly how commoditized sex should be treated.
Treating sex as a normal business transaction would be a massive realization of equality for whores.
Oh, I agree; if a whore has recourse, it is indeed theft of services rather than rape. What turns it into (low-degree) rape is the fact that she has no recourse.
Yeah ok, I’ll go with the theft of $600.
But that’s not the kind of penalty anyone gets for any kind of rape.
No on second thought I can’t go with the $600. That’s double counting.
She couldn’t charge two clients she was seeing separately with the $300 fee for the same hour plus travel time.
It’s theft of services with an agree value of $300.
The theft itself has to be penalized; even in times and places where thieves were required to make restitution, it was never just the exact amount because the theft stole a lot of the victim’s time and emotional energy as well in having to deal with it. I’ve always felt the proper penalty for any theft is double the value stolen.
Maggie, Gorb–
I’ve been very impressed by this blog, the quality of Maggie’s writing, the depth of her knowledge and research, and her perspective. I’ve also just been impressed by her, her decency, honesty and the like. I like her attitude towards men. I like lots. But this I too disagree with:
Yeah it’s theft of services. The sex was consensual but the payment wasn’t made.
To elevate that to any kind of rape is wrong and frankly absurd. It’s a pretty trivial offense. It’s not just perfectly ok, but it doesn’t rise to rape.
Heh–
Okay, not meant t be a piece of dirt in the eye, there.
In Israel, a guy went to jail because he lied about being Jewish to get into bed with a woman. Obviously there was an ethnic component to his trial, but the point that the woman was gullible or cheated made it rape disturbed me
Personally, given he trouble with rape in the media and with neofeminists, the best idea I think is to restrict the definition of “rape” as much as possible
If you give consent based on promises of future reward and that never materializes, tough titty. That’s a private contract matter.
The annoying thing is that credit card chargebacks sort-of act as a loophole in the whole payment system. it’s a problem with using credit cards for all busineses.
I do think that there should be a completely unrelated crime of “swindling”, or some such things, and there should be some mechanism.
Aggravating Cheateritis?
Yeah I didn’t see that as properly rape either.
If that was so important to her she should have done more due diligence before consenting to have sex with him.
I think the problem is that y’all are taking all the emotional baggage culturally built up around rape (especially by the neofeminists) as part and parcel of the act. Rape is a violation, worse than theft because it’s personal but less serious than murder because it isn’t fatal. That’s why I compared it to theft; if you were robbed at gunpoint by a gang who beat you up as well, that’s a lot more serious crime than someone buying expensive goods from you and then charging back the credit card slip, but they’re both theft. If kids go joyriding in a car is it any less grand theft auto? No, but we’re not going to penalize them to the same level as guys running a chop shop, either. I think most people would be satisfied with the car being returned and perhaps some compensation paid.
The problem isn’t in using the word “rape” to describe both, the problem is all the emotional and political baggage which has been loaded onto the word “rape”.
yes, I wouldn’t charge it as a felony or maybe charge it at all if they return the car undamaged, and they’re kids. Stiff warning at least though. Something on their record so that if it happens again …
But when a call girl is robbed of her fee due to a charge back she’d can’t reverse, she doesn’t feel a sexual violation at the time of the sex act, since she doesn’t know about it then.
Robbery creates a strong sense of violation as well. I had my quite good bicycle stolen in college (I’d locked it but with a crap lock; it wasn’t a campus with a lot of bicycle theft) and felt quite a lot violated. My whole sense of trust was significantly diminished. I really wonder if for experienced girls minimally or non violent rape is really much worse in this age when girls aren’t expected to be virgins or necessarily close, many are far from, she may have been on bc or he possibly might have used a condom, rape accusers are reflexively believed, considered blameless by all feminist and PC opinion and in fact brave sister heros, and so on. I think a lot of the horror of it when in this sort of profile is a feminist and male white knighting social construct.
Okay. I might buy that.
But I’d legalize prostitution and then let whores operate under contract law. At which point, you would be using rape kits or semen samples to test for the fact of sex, and then check for breaking of contract. If so, then I’d have it adjudicated under theft laws.
Like stealing someone’s purse. it’s the same kind of violation.
the phrase “rape and murder”.
Your apparent idea of what “rape” would be is a harder sell to the public. On its own it’s interesting. But harder sell.
One thing that bothers me is “rape and murder”. Rape is not murder.
Rape is a kind of assault – but ask a woman if she’d rather be beaten over the head with a club or be forced to submit to sex with a man without consent.
Obviously, the club beating is far, far more serious.
You know i’ve never paid for sex. I wonder what the dynamic is like.
It’a actually worth doing for the curiosity factor.
You wouldn’t need to go that far; the signed receipt would be enough. If he charges back the card after receiving the service, the whore simply presents the signed receipt and the money is restored to her. Problem solved.
And if prostitution was legal, and there were signed signatures, then it’s not an issue.
Good call.
Congratulations, Maggie! I enjoy reading your blog and thanks to you, I am much less ignorant.
Thank you, Tyler! Researching it has taught me a great deal as well!
I’ve learned a lot here, and not just about prostitution. A lot about prostitution too, which it turns out I didn’t know as much about as I thought I did.
I’m another of those who agrees with you more often than not, but not always. But even when I think that you’re wrong, I know that you’re not stupid. I can be wrong, you can be wrong, but I’m glad you avoid being stupid. I hope I avoid it also.
Congratulations on a year of posts, and good luck on all future endeavors.
Well, I guess I’m obsessed, then; I loved your writing so much I decided to read your entire blog from the beginning. Despite being a ridiculously fast reader since a fairly young age (by age 8, I was reading at a speed where my mouth couldn’t keep up with my eyes), it’s still taken me a long while just to get this far. & I’ve got 2 years to go!
It’s actually really nice to have a seemingly endless supply of reading material; I usually devour books far too quickly, & I’m always sad when they’re over.
Basically? Plz just keep writing forever & ever & also never die. Deal?
Love,
kidvelociraptor