While you stroll in New Orleans
You ought to go see the Mardi Gras
If you go to New Orleans
You ought to go see the Mardi Gras
When you see the Mardi Gras
Somebody’ll tell you what’s Carnival for. – Byrd/Terry, “Go To the Mardi Gras”
Today is Mardi Gras, which I referred to in last year’s column on the subject as “one of the last large-scale pagan festivals left in the increasingly sanitized and homogenized United States”; those of you who didn’t read that essay may wish to do so today. You’ll notice that it is dated March 8th, because Mardi Gras moves with Easter, which is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox and can therefore fall anywhere from March 22nd to April 25th. Likewise, Fat Tuesday (since it’s always 47 days before Easter) can fall anywhere from February 3rd to March 9th; last year it was about as late as it could be, and this year it’s pretty typical.
As I wrote in the aforementioned column, one of the weirdest things about moving away from New Orleans is seeing everyone go about his business normally today as if it were any other day, when I know that back in the Crescent City there’s a huge party going on! When we were in town two weeks ago, the signs were everywhere: many places were decorated in purple, green and gold, the stores were full of king cakes, and viewing stands had been erected on the major parade routes in both New Orleans and Jefferson Parish. Unfortunately there weren’t any parades any of the nights we were there, but that doesn’t mean we had nothing to do; we visited friends on three nights of the five, and on Wednesday went out walking on Bourbon Street with an out-of-town friend who had arrived that day. While we were there, we went into a little courtyard called “Musical Legends Park”, where a jazzman named Steamboat Willie was playing. My husband always buys a CD from any live performer we enjoy, and while he was doing so in this case he also requested that Willie perform “Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans?” for me. Well, when he heard my name he insisted on performing two songs for me, the first being his original composition “Maggie” from his album Move ‘N On (you can listen to a sample or download the song or album on Amazon).
Anyhow, even though today isn’t a holiday for most of you, it will always be one for me: You can take the girl out of New Orleans, but you can’t take New Orleans out of the girl. So I’m taking the day off, and I wish all of you a Happy Mardi Gras!
One Year Ago Today
The first installment of my four-part interview of sex worker rights activist Jill Brenneman, who was the victim of real sex trafficking and realizes that “only rights can stop the wrongs”. The first two parts of the interview are both graphic and disturbing, and I caution sensitive readers to consider carefully before reading them.
Thought of you this morning when I posted my last blog piece, “And I Accept Your Challenge Sir!“. Enjoy the day!
What a great quote! I’m adding it to my list!
Hi Maggie, I really enjoyed your visit to the cafe. Please come back soon and let me croon for you again. hugs, Steamboat Willie
Next time we’re in town, you can bet on it! 🙂
Curiously, the Basler Fastnacht starts on the Monday after Ash Wednesday, at exactly 4 am, and lasts for 3 days. It’s said to be “the only protestant carnival”, and may have originated the tradition of confetti (Räppli) throwing.
Meanwhile, in England pancakes are served on Shrove Tuesday….says it all, really.
Don’t some people even call it “Pancake Day”?
In the Russia, the week before Great Lent starts is sometimes called Pancake Week.
Yes, it’s also called Pancake Day. In at least one English village there is a race on the day. The women hold a pan, and run a course, tossing the pancake the whole time. Sounds like a good coordination exercise.
I hope you’re enjoying yourself, Maggie, and I hope to get down there for next year.
But, I will only come if I can stay at someone’s house or squat. Hotel goes way up for this time.
I’m in a hotel on Canal Street as I type this – taking a break from the parades.
My wife and I watched the Zulu parade this morning right across from the old Kolb’s restaurant.
http://www.nomenu.com/joomla1/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2532:kolbs&catid=55:extinct-restaurants&Itemid=263
I noticed that this historic building, which was built in the 1840’s is up for sale … it has THREE awesome balconies that overlook a section of St. Charles that virtually EVERY Mardi Gras parade in the French Quarter goes by. The balconies, this year – were empty since the building is unoccupied. Good news is – you can buy Kolb’s for a cool eight million bucks!
And – if a building can have a “spirit” I think the old Kolb’s probably has one. I looked up at the balconies and wondered about what a 170 year old “time lapse” video would reveal about all the mardi gras parades that building had seen pass under it’s balconies.
Also went to Ralph and Kakoo’s last night and I just had whatever the waiter, Charles, told me eat. He pretty much knew what was best on that menu. It wasn’t crowded in the restaurant at all and this surprised me a bit. Great place though.
In sad news … it appears that “America’s Most Wanted” is getting into the sex trafficking meme …
http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/americas-most-wanted/sex-trafficking-special
Best seafood in the Quarter! It’s not crowded during Mardi Gras because the locals are out partying and the tourists don’t seem to know about it; they’re busy eating in tourist traps that aren’t remotely as good.
Also – do you know what the deal is here with the tu tus?
When I came back to NOLA in 2004, some of the guys took me down to eat in the French Quarter – and I saw a skinny gal riding around wearing black tights and a rainbow tu tu. I thought she was just an eccentric young lady. 😛
But the last couple of days I’ve seen probably a hundred tu tus – all different colors and at least two guys wearing them. There has to be some story behind this?
I have no idea. 🙁
Thanks for linking to the article on vat-grown meat. While I expect the first “test tube hamburger” to be very expensive and not as good as meat grown on the hoof (in the same way that the first computers were huge energy hogs that cost millions of dollars and were worthless by modern standards), within a couple of decades of that first burger we will find meat that tastes better, is better for you, and costs less than anything killed in a slaughterhouse (just as today a child on welfare is likely to have access to a computer more powerful than everything NASA had in the entire decade of the 1960s put together).
I’ll have some loggerhead turtle soup and a mammoth burger, please.
You are NOT kidding …
My first “specialty” in the Navy was Inertial Navigation Systems (INS). On a visit to the Charles Stark Draper Laboratories in Cambridge, MA … I got a chance to see and operate the Apollo Navigation Computer.
It was a terrifying, almost wholly analog, tangle of mechanical gears. It made noises while it accepted operator input and while spitting out the calculations. The computer “screen” was actually a “projection” screen and behind it was a 35mm reel of film with frames that contained basically everything the computer would ever ask of you – or tell you. One screen would say “Input starting coordinates” … so you’d enter the data and press enter, and then the reels would start spinning like a vegas slot machine and the screen would start flashing until it rested on the next “frame” … which might be … “Enter Current Time …”
The “film” advanced forward and backward by gears – just like the old 35mm cameras were. However, sometimes the gear motors would go a bit too fast and eat the film! LOL. I suppose the carried spare film reels on the Apollo missions to recover from this problem!
A very interesting book could be written on the “lineage” of the Apollo Navigation Computer … it’s still around … much more advanced versions of it but they can still be traced back to that horrifying analog mess!
It speaks a lot to the courage of those early astronauts that they were willing to go to the freaking MOON with equipment like that.
You are EXACTLY right.
It also speaks to the decline of America and our sense of adventure.
We could go to the moon so easily … with the tech we have today … it would be a piece of cake.
I know we’re broke and can’t afford a lot of things – but the human spirit is about exploration, conquest, and expansion. Few people remember – that in the 60’s we had a President and several other political leaders assassinated. We had racial unrest and violence. A bonafide domestic terrorist threat in the form of Black Panthers, Ku Klux Klan, and other organizations like the Weathermen. A rabid anti-war movement which produced riots all over the nation and even deaths … a unpopular war in Vietnam … and a full on culture war between the psychedelic generation and the status quos …
This nation was ON FIRE back then – I remember it.
Yet … all sides could come together and find unity in the space program. Landing on the moon was the greatest achievement we’ve ever made as a species.
It will only hurt us to abandon that.
Apollo is the standard by which we have measured ourselves ever since.
“If we can put a man on the Moon, why can’t we house the homeless/educate the masses/feed the hungry/fill in the blank?”
maggie,
Check out your guest post at Feministe. The commenters are literally aghast.
You are, apparently, Satan.
Yeah, I was pretty amused by the straining after gnats in the first few comments, then it devolved into asking what the “point” of the column was, nitpicking on what period the terms from and indulging in mental masturbation about “true” consent. When a member of the Feministe staff asked if they could reprint that post I rather expected stuff like that; it doesn’t really bother me because I figure my blog wouldn’t be as popular with intelligent, thoughtful people as it is if I were as bad as some of those commenters seem to think.
They really do seem deranged.
They’re busy reading your blog and saying how you’re a rape apologist (not what I read on your blog), etc. and selectively quoting.
I do think their belief system is more like a religious belief rather than a carefully argued philosophical structure.
Also de-rigeur is the pat-on-back social grooming, the typical affirmation and the shout-outs in horror meant to arouse the “uh-huhs” and “That’s right, sister” responses.
They don’t realize it, but they’re reinforcing the most tired female tropes and stereotypes.
It’s rather sad they don’t see this.
From “A Short Glossary of Prohibitionism“:
Apologist: Anyone who answers propaganda with facts: “Maggie McNeill is a trafficking apologist.”
Latest:
“I also refuse to employ ridiculous neologisms like “cisgender”, a coinage which is a perfect example of what’s wrong with “inclusiveness talk”; the terminally PC use it to mean people who aren’t “transgendered”. News flash: The vast majority of the human race is “cisgendered”, so it isn’t necessary to specify it. What’s next on the PC agenda, a special word to signify that a person isn’t handicapped?”
As I said before, we could play bingo all day with the OP’s repulsive blog. I suppose the moderators are putting their heads together right now to write their mea culpa for promoting this person.
Your blog is, apparently, repulsive. It’s a moral crisis.
Well, of course it’s repulsive to neofeminists and others who can’t think for themselves. After all, I expect my readers to, like, think and stuff. And to allow others to think for themselves without censoring them or expecting them to adhere to approved PC guidelines.
They do read like parrots – there’s no original thought, at all, and there’s one more thing:
Only moral revulsion. There’s no actual social criticism or actual analysis: Just statements and then hum-haws of approval or shouts of shame.
It’s fascinating.
Which is exactly why they’re commenting there instead of writing blogs of their own.
I was particularly fascinated by the moral outage at the “Black Men” post; I wonder what they’d say if they knew that the reaction to it from real black men is about 75% positive? Only in PC-land could a woman who’s never actually worked as a prostitute condemn as “wrong” an essay written by a prostitute about her actual experiences.
You should post in the comments. Just say something.
I want to see how they react to the author: What they actually *say* to the author. It’s easy enough to react with shock and horror, but, …
You can say something very general. Actually, this is an excellent exercise.
More:
Jesus. I salute all of you who had the stomach to wade through such a staggering amount of misogynist, racist, and anti-trans bullshit. It’s not just her credibility on ancient Rome that’s shot, as far as I’m concerned. I…lack words.
You’re not a feminist, not of the kind that Feministe approves of:
And yeah, really wondering what the hell is going on with this choice of guest blogger. Pretty much every blog entry I can find by this blogger contains seriously questionable statements.
The problem with “true believers” is that they see what they want to see. “Misogynistic”? Really? Puh-leeze. Because I don’t give my own sex a free pass on every issue even when they’re wrong? And racist? I guess they didn’t bother to read all the columns where I take stands against “illegal alien” hysteria, anti-Muslim hysteria, and the paternalistic racism that drives “trafficking” hysteria. “Anti-trans”? I guess they missed the column where I said “if it walks like a duck”, the one about David Reimer and the one where I called that anti-transsexual Tennessee legislator a throwback. Obviously to the Feministe commentariat, mouthing the proper PC shibboleths is much more important than one’s actual views or actions.
Well, apparently, comments were shut down. I was goaded into repeating comments from a previous thread. But even had I not, this is what appears to be characteristic over there:
– Incredibly thin skin. “Trigger alerts” and maximum sensitivity. There are some thing that just can’t be said because of “survivor syndrome” and a number of other things. I’d like to note: as sensitive as this is, it cripples debate.
– The poster who re-posted your article eventually closed comments when she reported that your blog was, indeed, disgusting.
– Not one commenter had anything to say not laced with false facts and ideology.
Actually, my overrriding impression was of a room filled with people whose limbs had been removed, or who were in shock after some battle, shell-shocked.
Having these people generate official public policy is like having the most psychologically damaged survivors of a battle decide all foreign policy at all times.
It’s insane. In fact, what struck me more than anything else, something that likely makes intellectual feminists wince:
The complete and total absence of free thought. It was almost robotic. They don’t understand this, but that’s what it was like.
I’m sure you get it.
I’m guessing that’s the last post they reprint from you.
That’s rather depressing. I used to comment on Feministe a few years ago and back then it was a pretty open-minded community regarding positive discussions of sex-work.
From what I could see, it seemed that they didn’t want to attack sex work per se so they instead nitpicked the issue to death. For example, they labeled an honest discussion of why many escorts won’t see black men “racist” (presumably, they would rather I ignore the subject or leave black men who want a true answer in ignorance), and referred to my refusal to give my own gender a free pass in all circumstances “misogynist”. I’m not sure how they came up with “anti-transgender”, but I presume it was due to my refusal to clutter my prose when describing average people by appending a long list of adjectives describing what they aren’t.
This is what they tend to do: Nitpick. They refuse to admit that they can’t go after the main point, so they pick it apart.
And the “racist” label is thrown around willy-nilly: It’s a means to shut down debate. Actually, within feminist circles it cripples discussions much of the time. Feminism is riven by the shouts of racism. There’s only one possible moral ground to take; and we both know “racism” hides a whole litany of variables, and the adjective “racist” is not directed to clarify, but to silence.
That’s how the concept of “racism” is now used. Its been taken from a legitimate description of a social prejudice to a word designed to aggressively shout people down. It has no nuance or subtlety. It almost has no meaning any more.
In general terms, in America, if you haven’t been called a racist, or aren’t called a racist at least occasionally, whether black or white, then you’ve never said anything worth saying.
And on misogyny: if you disagree with anything said by a self-appointed Victim or Feminist, then you hate women, period. By definition, any man who says anything you don’t like hates women. Simple disagreement is enough.
Again, if you haven’t been called a misogynist, then you’ve never said anything worth saying.
This is, alas, the state of things in Feminism. Or as you say, Neofeminism.
I was called a racist for suggesting that the Japanese don’t all want to be white. I would think that the idea that everybody wants to be white would be the racist idea.
The most bizarre thing about popular labels is the way that people use them as insults for anyone who isn’t part of their “in” group, even if the label in question makes no sense. So I’ve been called both a “liberal” and a “conservative”, a “religious rightie” and an “atheist”, a “racist” and a “cultural relativist”, a “lesbian” and a “homophobe”, a “feminist” and a “misogynist”, etc, etc, etc…
People who imagine the world as black and white only allow two camps, so if you’re not in one you must in their minds be in the other…even if you aren’t. Libertarians get this all the time; soi-disant conservatives call them “liberal” and soi-disant liberals call them “conservative” because they believe in individual liberty of ALL types, not only the types from one group or the other’s approved list of liberties they’re allowed to believe in while supporting tyranny in all other areas.
Yep, that sounds familiar.
Oh boy. Yeah, as an anime fan that’s a discussion I’ve found myself in from time to time. It’s amazing how devoted some folks are to the idea that the Japanese want to be Euros. Oddly enough Japanese audiences have no problem at all considering a tall, blonde, blue-eyed character thoroughly Japanese, while it is certain US fans who will insist, with great force and heat, that such a character could not possibly be Japanese. Forget about the necessities of characterization in a visual medium; never consider that perhaps the Japanese don’t find themselves to be indistinguishable; disregard how the people you’re discussing actually respond to the character and image. It MUST be the case that those with the problem are super mind-reading psychologists, while those without it are riven by insurmountable self-loathing and ethnic-envy.
I can understand somebody not familiar with anime or new to anime wondering, “If this is Japanese animation, then why do the characters look so white?” I wondered exactly the same thing when I first got into it.(*) That’s because to a European or an American, they do look white, because in America and Europe white is the default. Even if you aren’t white yourself, white is the default. Nobody questions that Bart Simpson is of Caucasian Persuasion, for all that no white person has ever looked anything like THAT.
But once it was explained to me, I was all, “Oh, OK. I get it now.” Some people seem to be unwilling or unable to ever get it.
Here’s a video that explains it better than I ever could, and you might want to link to it the next time the subject comes up. I know I’m going to. Even if it causes some jerk to call me a racist… because I don’t think my race is the one everybody else aspires to. (?!??)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKTvFhRbBt8
(*) I mean when I first got into anime and knew it was Japanese. I’m not talking about my childhood attachment to Speed Racer or to Battle of the Planets. I probably did think Speed and Mark were white, but it never would have occurred to me that there was any reason they wouldn’t be.
And now this video has been taken down. That’s too bad, because it’s a GOOD video. I’m sure that had it come down to a lawsuit, the poster could have won. But YouTube yanks stuff down as soon as anybody complains. Ah well. Maybe the poster has put up another, with the “offending” unlicensed whatever removed. Maybe a song?
Here it is.
http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2012/02/20/the-many-types-of-prostitutes-in-ancient-rome/
“UPDATE: After posting this guest entry, it was brought to my attention that the blog from which it is cross-posted contains material that is racist, misogynist, fat-shaming and transphobic. Had I known that history, I would not have allowed this post to be published on Feministe.”
And THAT is why I do not bother talking to western women any more Maggie. What a pile of CRAP that is. Western women are totally messed up now.
Contrast this. I met this young bulgarian woman recently….just 22. Our eyes caught each other in a bar and there was just something about her so I asked her over for a drink and a chat. Talk about a “weird” conversation. Remember…shes 22. I have NEVER had such an intense conversation so fast with a woman. Not ever. She was amazingly level headed and amazingly thoughtful in her replies. This is the FIRST time I have seen such in a woman so young.
We traded the usual introductions and small talk…then she started asking more about how it could be I was not married. So I told my story just exactly as it is. She was dumbfounded. She could not believe what I was saying about western women. She was very much “but a woman is supposed to HELP her husband because he goes out and labours his hardest for her and his children, what insanity is this that so many women will not help their husbands?” She was particularly affronted by the idea that so many western women see cooking as a demeaning chore. She told me she LOVES cooking.
Her attitude was 110% in line with every other eastern european woman I have met.
The funny thing is that about an hour into our conversation she said “But you have a girlfriend now, right? I mean, a man like you MUST have a girlfriend”.
I asked her why “must”.
She said “because every woman I know is looking for a man like you.” (well, maybe the younger me, I know women are not looking for 48 year old men.)
I said: “They are not looking for a man like me. They are looking for a man who has money like me. There is a difference and I know it.”
You could see by the look in her eye that she knew exactly what I meant and that it was true. She didn’t acknowledge it but she knew I knew she knew.
If there is ONE quality about eastern european women I like? It is their honesty. Even when it does not look good for them they are honest. I almost NEVER see similar honesty in western women.
I must say I am intrigued by this chance meeting.
And theyre just so ANGRY. Angry at everything. It’s not normal anger: It’s like self-generated self-appointed anger. It doesn’t have an genuine root, beyond false anger at perceived injustiecs.
The whole “survivor” thing aside.
Frankly, I was surprised they printed it in the first place. Well, at least it got their blood moving. The writer who reposted is still subscribed, so I’m sure she knew what my blog was like and just backed down to keep the peace (which I can’t fault her for).
I think, in all honesty, the brighter and more well-read, less indoctrinated feminists, some of whom are bloggers there, are actually intelligently critical of the feminist PC stance; I know, for example, that many are very sympathetic to the idea that domestic violence is hardly a preserve of women as victims. Many of these feminists are, in fact, lesbians, and domestic violence in lesbian relationships is at least as common as in heterosexual relationships, and in that case, the only source of blame is other women. Almost all comprehensive studies show that women and men initiate and engage in partner violence on equal levels, but that the consequences are worse for women, as a rule; but women can and are almost always just as emotionally, psychologically and often physically violent as men. Yet the debate is framed as a male-female one. Even to say this or to quote studies or government statistics is to be called a woman-hater: Disagreeing with any position arrived at through the Group Mind consensus is Woman Hating.
Alas, the “victimology” culture generally silences them: they’re required not to offend anyone, ever, so as when the slowest vehicle in a caravan limits everyone’s speed, so the most delicate or doctrinaire feminist marks the limit of debate for intellectual feminism.
It’s this ‘Shaming” aspect of feminism that I resent, and the closed-mindedness it represents. The least intelligent, least open-minded and most ideologically loudmouthed tend to set the bar. It’s the shaming silencing that bothers me; this is the aspect of the Men’s Movement that also bothers me. I have no problem saying that many aspects of life don’t favor women, but favor men; when I hear men screaming “victim! victim!” and trying to drown out balanced speech, it drives me from the men’s movement, too. That’s the thing about the screechy men’s rights movement and the feminists who hang out in the comments at Feministe that bothers me: Sarcastic self-righteous self-annointed Master Victim status.
Nothing in society is so simple or straightforward. The men’s movement adopts the same hackneyed marxist analysis that the feminist movement does, and in both cases, it’s a poor approach.
I’ve known a large number of hard-core feminists. While I may disagree with many of their opinions, the intelligent ones also tend to be people who will accept countervailing data and attempt to refute it without falling back on ideology; they often will submit to actual reason, like any intelligent person will do. They also are usually willing to accept that men may have differing opinions, and differing interests, and that these also have to be addressed in a social order.
One thing about lesbian feminists: They at least usually have a greater sense of honesty about what they do. By these I mean the non-heterophobic lesbians. There are lots of loud, screaming heterophobes, and again, they escape feminist criticism in public but privately many feminists will gladly disavow them, including other lesbian feminists. Some genuinely hate men, maleness, and anything associated with heterosexuality. They’re effectively emotional cripples in this society, whether it’s politic to say this or not. Unfortunately, in a social order where causing offense is the greatest possible crime, honesty and balance take second seat.
Because there’s so much doctrinaire dogma, a vast amount of energy seems to be spent on propping up bizarre notions.
I know they’re hated in the manosphere, but Amanda Marcotte and Jessica Valenti are both reasonably intelligent. They may not always be honest, and like everyone there’s a lot of cognitive dissonance going on there, but they do sometimes seem to realize that their positions may be self-contradictory or may not make much sense, and that evidence seems to defy their worldviews. I predict these youngish women will adapt their views as they age, again in accordance with the undeniable reality that we all face. Men should give them more time and debate the issues they present more even-handedly.
There’s more than enough evidence and reason on the men’s side of this divide to debate honestly, but feminism is now in the Driver’s Seat: It’s the Perceived Moral High Ground now, and now defines much of public discourse.
Like all revolutions, feminism is well into the process of devouring itself. In the end, once all the enemies are done away with – father having any rights at all, any aspect of the traditional family, sensible and balanced approaches to heterosexuality, you name it – then feminism will start to devour itself.
Then, a white feminist who objects to a black man being able to rape a white woman and get away with it because of slavery and racism will be told to shut up because she has white privilege, and is therefore morally unable to speak. This is already happening. A savage hierarchy of Victimology is setting itself up like some kind of grotesque public idol, and when the oil from cultural relativism is poured on it, it will render pragmatic, justice-maximizing public policy impossible.
The “progressive” position on most issues is now so riddled with internal contradictions, insulting exceptions, breaks, dogma, shame, silencing and power politics that the only thing that keeps it afloat is public apathy.
No intellectual feminists I’m familiar with are remotely happy with the feminist movement, and the two I’m in regular contact with right now are deeply disappointed with the quality of thought that comes out of places like Feministe: while they like its energy, its philosophica underpinnings are so crippling it almost brought one woman I know to tears.
A lesbian working in media, and a manager of dozens of people to boot, she thinks that the feminist movement in America is essentially morally and intellectually bankrupt. Sheer bulk and bizarre alliances with conservative chauvinists tends to keep in positions of influence, but any claim it might have had to be working to better society, promote equality between the sexes or to further the general advancement of global human development are now ludicrous. She says the largest problem it faces, among many, is its inability to be super critical of cultural elements not practiced by white men: cultural relativity has crippled it when dealing with serious challenges abroad.
In truth, as the rights of men in courts recede, as family life implodes, the economic underpinnings of our society are unraveling. A lot of unintended consequences are emerging from the women’s movement, and they’re starting to bite home. Despite the devastation single motherhood is causing among young men being raised in non-families in this society, even broaching this topic in a public forum is to invite the hailstorm of “feminist” ire.
The same is true for prostitution: excepting slavery, which is wrong for reasons having nothing to do with sex at all, doctrinaire feminism gladly ignores male interests, and deligitimizes male sexuality, and claims that male sexuality is simply programmed and must be unprogrammed. Only one solution, that acceptable to a given class of women, is acceptable. The same is true for all aspects of life:
Only the interests of women, so long as they toe the line, are of import.
Many new wave feminists will admit this, and retort with, “Well, of course! It’s called Feminism! It’s not about men at all!”
Unfortunately, other feminists still sell the idea that feminism is about making the world better for women and men. The truth is that the feminism that’s practiced in public and in places like Feministe is a Female Only club, and it sees men as an opposing force.
This is sad. Men and women have equal interests in all of these debates. it’s convenient to atomize it Marxist-style and separate the world into Victims and Oppressors and define all varieties of Privilege, but the fact of the matter is–
We have to live together. This can’t just be about women.
When the men’s movement moves in this direction, I dislike it as well just as much. It disheartens me.
So this dustup at Feministe is once again deeply disappointing.
Gorbachev,
the anger is all bullshit. It is “dissimulation”. An attempt to distract. It is the same as crying or letting the lower lip down a bit and trembling. If you had raised daughters you would see them learn these things from their mother and practice it on their brothers as young girls. My daughter was particularly gifted in the whole emotional manipulation of boys. She learned from a master. My wife.
Once a man realises this is all part of how women lie to men and how they manipulate them it does not affect you.
I had a woman trying to pick me up one time in a restaurant. She was not my type and I kept telling her so and to go away and leave me alone. She was trying everything to sweet talk me. In the end she did the “trembling lower lip” and “hurt self esteem” look like she was all “upset” at the “rejection”.
I said: “Wow, you’re pretty good at the whole lower lip thing. I had two daughters so I know all about how you women pretend to be upset to manipulate our feelings and try to get us to do what you want.”
And then I just smiled a big smile completely ignoring her efforts to look hurt and completely ignoring the LIE that she was presenting.
She immediately stopped with the lip and gave a bit of a laugh and a smile and told me I could not blame her for trying. She left soon after. I guess she had run right through her routine and figured some other smuck was a better mark.
Yes, women will sometimes pull the “oh how could you” routine to manipulate a man.
And sometimes, a woman’s feelings really are hurt. For all the efforts of neofeminists, women are still human beings, and still have feelings.
Kind of like men.
In Savaging, Maggie wrote about the hate neofems have for their own femininity. It must be immensely frustrating to go through life despising one’s very essence.
A couple of neofeminist bloggers recently made similar observations:
[i]A man sometimes just had to show some mild attention and look at me, be vaguely nice and “compliment” my body, for me to bond emotionally to him in a complete stockholmy way.[/i]
[i]I found myself at work the other day in a distressed state and when one of my older, more senior male colleagues spoke soothingly to me and asked “is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?” I felt an inexplicable sexual tenderness toward him. I wanted to curl into his protection and despite the fact that I had never had a sexual feeling for him before (in fact the very idea horrifies me) this feeling was inextricable from sexual connection.[/i]
They have long and tedious discussions on the submissive fantasies they have (which of course are unacceptable in neofeminism). Their conclusion? “We don’t know how to overcome these thoughts/feelings”.
If they were truly indifferent to men – as some lesbians are – then they would be less angry in general. It is similar to how repressed homosexuals attack gays.
It still shocks me – how they derail any discussion they even mildly dislike.
It’s as if they’re searching for things to be angry at.
it must really make intellectual feminists despair. There’s no spirit of inquiry, openness or discovery; no breadth of thought; just shaming language and Groupthink.
Defy Groupthink and you Break the Code.
One thing about the men’s movement, generally: insane diversity is not only tolerated, it’s embraced.
Gorbachev,
“One thing about the men’s movement, generally: insane diversity is not only tolerated, it’s embraced.”
Close. The ONLY thing that is NOT TOLERATED in the mens movement is the remedy. MRAs have had a remedy for nearly two years now. In book form for more than a year. Although welmer makes MUCH of not banning feminists on the spearhead I think I carry the distinction of being the only man banned off spearhead.
And lets not forget that despite spending 3,500+ hours and USD500,000 on creating this remedy Paul Elam has called me a “parasite” in public and has never one apologised in the same public forum.
Yep. The man-o-sphere is REAL tolerant of anything but the remedy and anything but being told the truth about what a bunch of gutless whimps they are! LOL!!
Hey Gorbchev,
did you see THIS comment? LOL!!
“the_leanover 2.21.2012 at 8:26 pm | Permalink
Isn’t it delightful how Gorbachev sidles over to stir things up over at her blog rather than making any attempt at a defence here? He must have been getting manipulation tips from those nasty teenage girls, huh”
Damn thats funny. And attempting a “defense” on a feminist blog! Thats a joke. I have even been banned off DAVID ICKES SITE by a woman! LOL!
I am banned pretty much where ever I go BY WOMEN because they cant handle the truth.
Here is the BEST one of all. I am even banned off Lukes Army facebook BY WOMEN even though Lukes Dad Michael has PUBLICLY stated no man has done more to help him fight for justice for Luke. And Michaels FIANCEE reinstated me only for another woman mod to BAN ME AGAIN!! LOL!! I can’t make this shit up about how bad western women are.
THAT is what talking to western women will get you. They will BAN YOU AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS from the tribute site for a murdered child when the childs FATHER has PUBLICLY declared you a great friend and PUBLICLY thanked you for your support. And that support includes about USD7,000 out of my own pocket as well.
Aoithior was BANNED from Lukes site for saying that he was abused by his mother as a child. That was the ONLY comment he made other than to expressed his condolences to Michael over the murder of his son.
When western women are THAT disgusting? Why would I want anything to do with them? Such behavior is ABHORRENT to me and I will do all I can never to have to live in the west again.