Since the mad emperor is being re-crowned today, he commissioned a new official portrait which looks like this. He seems to believe it makes him look “tough” and “stern”, as evidenced by the creepy Freudian homoeroticism which suffuses his lackeys’ praise for the picture. Now, I’m not going to opine on what that asymmetric squint may betoken about his brain function; instead I’m going to share a number of pictures that I feel more accurately capture Trump’s real personality, rather than the image he wants to project.
For example, there’s this one,
which displays both his weird proportions and his goofy awkwardness, and shows his mouth in its typical position: wide open and emitting a stream of noxious hot air. That vaguely-obscene flytrap is even more horrifyingly agape in the shot below, which also showcases his impeccable sartorial taste and the way his henchmen worship him; it’s followed by another shot in which he appears to be enjoying some unlucky insect which wandered in, and also really illustrates the healthy color and virile countenance of which his followers are so enamored. The third arrangement is a juxtaposition which, I think, effectively illustrates his unmistakable animal magnetism.
Then there’s this GIF, which I think truly captures his self-control, organizational skills, and vision for the US. And obviously, no collection of Trump pictures could be complete without one in which he appears with the people who helped put him on the throne with their “Pied Piper strategy“.
