The Honest Courtesan

We both knew Grace was slowly dying for several years now; I just didn’t know it would happen so soon or so suddenly.  So even though I’m relieved that she didn’t have to suffer the awful fate of a slow, protracted death as a bedridden invalid, and grateful that I was able to make her last eight years happy ones (despite her considerable pain and inability to do the things she loved, such as riding her motorcycle), I’m also having some trouble coming to grips with the fact that she is actually gone.  Even typing that last sentence took me ten minutes, because I can’t look at those words on the screen without being overwhelmed by a wave of grief.  She was not good with words herself, but music often gave her a means of expressing deep feelings she could not herself articulate.  Ozzy Osbourne was one of her favorite musicians, and on several occasions over the past few years I found her crying while listening to this song; when I went to comfort her she would hug me tightly and say she wasn’t afraid of death because we’d be reunited on the Other Side.  So I’ve listened to it quite a few times over the past week, hoping that it will allow me to share just a bit of her unshakable faith in our eventual reunion in another life once I, too, have left this one.