I’m only just beginning to internalize that yes, it really is okay to keep slowing down, rather than just saying it aloud but not really believing it. – “Fourteenth Anniversary”
When my dearest friend and companion passed away in January, I wrote:
When my marriage was starting to fall apart, I threw myself into this blog, churning out essays at a prodigious rate so my mind would have something to chew on other than my pain. But Grace was with me that whole time, quietly offering her unflagging support; I’m not sure what will happen to my creative energy this time, so it’s possible you may notice some changes to adapt to that. Because there has never before been an Honest Courtesan site without her.
Well, it has now been long enough that I’ve begun to see the answer. It has, for the most part, become easier to get my daily work done, because I no longer have my Grace to care for, and focusing on my writing crowds out the pain just as it did fifteen years ago. And strangely, I’ve found that my Muse of Fiction wants my attention again; perhaps she feels I don’t need her when I’m happy. Whatever the reason, I’ve written three new stories since finishing Who in Review, and I’m starting on a much longer one than I’ve ever written before, in part as a tribute to Grace. They’ll all be included in Lost Angels, which I expect will be published around this time next year. And in the meantime I’ll keep going, just as I always do and always have done, until the day finally arrives when I no longer have to.
