All Shapes and Sizes

One dragon may breed nine different offspring.  –  Chinese proverb

Human beings come in all shapes and sizes, and nowhere is that more evident than in their sexual anatomy.  Because genitalia can still function within a wide range of cosmetic and morphological variation, there was little if any evolutionary pressure to prevent even extreme variance from the average, and nobody is more aware of such differences than prostitutes are (except, perhaps, physicians who specialize in those anatomical areas).

The average erect human penis is 14 cm long, and the great majority of men fall between 10.7 cm and 19.1 cm; it is 12.3 cm in circumference, with the majority falling between 11 and 13.6 cm.  So any of you male readers who fall into those ranges (and I know some of you went for the tape measure as soon as you read those numbers) are average, even if you think you’re small, and anything over 19 cm is really quite large even if your porn movies tell you otherwise.  Despite the myths, no study has ever detected any correlation between penis size and race, and my own extensive experience backs that up.  It is believed that the myth about black men having exceptionally large penises began in bathrooms and locker rooms, the only places normal heterosexual men ever see other men’s genitalia; black men’s penises tend to shrink very little when flaccid in comparison with those of white men (a statistical truth supported by my own observations), so a white man seeing a black penis might think, “If it’s that big when it’s soft, how big must it be hard?”

Since I know most of you are thinking about it, let’s get this out of the way early:  The biggest penis I ever handled was on a white man (a regular who was a physician from Texas), and it was as long as my forearm from elbow to wrist and as thick as my wrist.  My tape measure says that’s 29 cm long and 15.6 cm in circumference (11.4” long and 6.14” around).  And considering that I’ve seen over 4000 men professionally, I think it’s safe to say that the “twelve inch cock” of porn legend is so fabulously rare that the average woman has a greater chance of being hit by a meteor than of encountering one.  No, I wasn’t able to fit it all; I doubt many women could (he said he had never met one).  His girth wasn’t the issue; I’ve fit thicker (though shorter) ones.  It was just that rather amazing length!  Even as experienced as I already was when I met him, I must admit it was rather intimidating; he warned me about it on the phone because he had already encountered a few professionals who were too afraid to even attempt it.

His was the largest one I ever encountered, but not the longest; that title does indeed go to a black man, whose penis was roughly 36 cm long (though that’s just a guess based on my memory of how it looked against my torso).  In circumference, however, he was very typical, which gave his penis a rather snakelike appearance.  His proportions were so irregular, in fact, that he could not achieve a normal erection.  Though the last few inches of his member were reasonably firm, the rest of it was comparable to a garden hose with the tap turned on; that is to say, it was semi-rigid but still quite flexible.  His method of accomplishing intercourse was novel to say the least; he knelt between my legs, grasped his penis around the middle and inserted it as one might a dildo, then moved it in and out with his hand!  What fascinated me most about this procedure was that it didn’t seem to bother him in the least; clearly this was the way he had always had to enjoy women, so he was used to it.

On the other end of the spectrum are men who are so tiny that it’s difficult to accomplish anything with them.  Once a man’s penis gets down to about the size of my thumb (5 cm long) or less, condoms won’t stay on properly and only rear-entry position allows him enough depth of penetration to accomplish what he’s trying to accomplish.  Obese men with tiny penises (it’s notable that the two problems often go hand-in-hand) sometimes can’t even manage that, so oral or manual stimulation are the only options.  At least it isn’t difficult to fellate such clients, and if they don’t get to enjoy much of what their better-endowed brothers have they can at least get to experience a few things which are denied to normal-sized men, such as a woman taking both penis and testes into her mouth at the same time.  This of course presumes that the testicles are in proportion to the penis, which isn’t always the case; in fact, with larger penises I saw no correlation whatsoever.  Even the enormous monsters I described above had normal or just slightly above average testicles, and customers with very large testicles (sometimes larger than tennis balls) usually have normal-sized penises.  Only when the penis was pathologically small did I often see a correlation in testicular size; I presume that in such cases the two were related, representing a kind of arrested development which, as I mentioned above, was often accompanied by obesity and an odd kind of softness which made me feel as though the customer were a kind of giant baby rather than a mature man.

So far I’ve just talked about size, but shape is often more important.  The normal penis is either ramrod-straight or has a slight upward curve, but there are many variations.  I have seen curves so pronounced that the tip points almost straight up when the base is perpendicular to the man’s body, and also downward, left-hand or right-hand curves.  These severe bends are symptoms of Peyronie’s Syndrome, a penile disorder caused by a kind of plaque which builds up in the erectile tissue (see also here).  Besides the undesirable cosmetic effects, this disorder can make intercourse extremely uncomfortable or even painful for the woman (though most of my clients with the problem said it did not hurt them).  I found the downward curve the worst; in one such case the client actually bruised me internally, though I didn’t really notice it because he was long enough that the bruise was very deep in my vagina and thus not impacted by the next two clients.  When my husband had me the next day, however, it was acutely painful because he was long enough to hit the same spot; the discomfort persisted for a couple of days.

Though my husband’s penis is a fraction above the normal range of length, it is unusually thick and so causes me no discomfort as long as I can control his depth of penetration with my legs.  But when a man is unusually long and only of normal thickness, there is insufficient friction to act as a brake on vigorous pounding and the head can actually impact the cervix in women who, like me, have fairly small vaginas (more on this below).  This is acutely painful in a way no man can possibly understand (just as no woman can really know what impact to the testes feels like), so when I dealt with such men I was careful to avoid the rear-entry position (which shortens the vagina) and used my thighs to control the angle and depth of his penetration so as to keep his “bottoming out” to a minimum.  The opposite variation (above-average thickness with normal or below-average length) carries no direct problems for the woman, but is associated with a higher-than-normal rate of condom breakage.  Finally, there are a few conditions peculiar to uncircumcised men (such as thickening or stiffening of the foreskin leading to pain, infection and inhibited erection), but fortunately these are easily cured by circumcision.

Just as men have considerable variation in penis size and shape, so women have considerable differences in our genitalia as well.  The average depth of an unaroused vagina is about 10-15 cm and an aroused one 18-22 cm; women who have had children may be a few centimeters deeper and those who have had hysterectomies are sometimes shorter.  Like those of men, women’s sexual equipment inflates with arousal; this is why even an experienced woman can be injured in a rape, when her unaroused organs are smaller.  But unlike the penis, the vagina is a muscular organ and can be affected by position; the vagina is shortest when the legs are drawn up toward the torso (as in cowgirl and rear-entry) and longest when they are extended (as in the missionary position).  This is why I prefer the missionary position over all others; it allows the woman to control both the angle and the depth of penetration by simply moving her legs up or down.  Since my vagina is small and tight I can only accept large men with my legs down, but can allow men of average or short length deeper penetration by pulling my knees up toward my tits.  Unfortunately, men who have seen too many porno movies seem to believe that all women are over 22 cm deep and can thus take even the largest organs with their legs up on the man’s shoulders or their knees pushed down onto the mattress!  It usually wasn’t too difficult to get my legs out of such a man’s grip, but occasionally one was adamant and needed me to explain that the near-virginal tightness he was enjoying so much (and which I maintain to this day with Kegel exercises) went hand-in-hand with the shorter depth which disallowed such porn-star contortions with a well-endowed stallion like himself.

Porn causes one other occasional problem for some escorts; it tends to make inexperienced young men think that women’s external genitalia are more alike than they actually are.  As a bisexual woman and a call girl who did hundreds of couple calls I can tell you that there is as much variation in vulvas as in penises; most nude models I’ve seen have fairly subtle labia majora and well-defined labia minora, but I’ve seen girls in real life who had huge labia majora and almost no labia minora or vice-versa.  Some labia are quite wrinkly, others smoother, and they vary in color and appearance.  Apparently there’s even some variation in vulva-shape preference between different men’s magazines, or at least the photography makes it seem so; once on a multi-girl call I had a stripper tell me, “Oh, you have a pretty little Playboy pussy, but I have a big, nasty Hustler pussy!”  It seemed as though she meant it as a compliment, so I took it as one.

The clitoris actually varies more in size than the penis does; 75% of it is inside a woman’s body, and though its full length is roughly 10 cm the exposed portion ranges from 2-60 mm.  Though it is usually hidden by the clitoral hood it is completely exposed in some women and totally effaced in others; a “recessed clitoris” is completely below the surface and reveals itself only by stimulation (if at all).  But none of this can be explained to jackasses; girls with unusually-shaped genitalia are sometimes insulted by rude clients, and I’ve even heard of ignoramuses accusing girls of being post-operative transsexuals because their vulvas don’t “look right” to these (usually young) men, who obviously consider themselves some sort of sex experts because they’ve been with a couple of dozen women.  Fortunately, older men have more experience and therefore realize that the genitalia of women, like those of men, come in all shapes and sizes.