Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans,
And miss it each night and day?
I know I’m not wrong, the feeling’s gettin’ stronger
The longer I stay away. – Eddie DeLange and Louis Alter
We try to get down to New Orleans once a year to visit friends, stock up on groceries we can’t get elsewhere and go to a few of our favorite restaurants. I even use the opportunity to have my annual checkup, because I like my gynecologist and saw no real reason to try to find a new whore-friendly one here. Usually, we go near the end of January or beginning of February, but last year my husband’s schedule was such a mess we couldn’t make it until August…which made exchanging Christmas presents a bit strange (but still fun).
As in August, he had business in New Orleans this week, which means we get to stay in a nice hotel near Canal Street on his company’s tab. So we drove down Sunday and will be returning Friday; I’ll bet you didn’t even notice I was gone. See, I’ve been pre-posting all of my columns since mid-autumn; I find it’s a lot more convenient, because then if the internet goes down, or I somehow get distracted in the morning, or I have to drive my husband to the airport, or we decide to run off to New Orleans for a week, everything still publishes on time and y’all aren’t disappointed. The only drawback is that if I have to shift columns to make room for a more pressing item, it’s a colossal pain because I have to change links and everything. For example, “2011 in Review” was originally scheduled for the 11th, but was bumped from the spot by “Hark, Hark, the Dogs Do Bark” because the “one year ago today” connection was too good to pass up. That meant displacing “Rhinoceros” from the 14th to the 21st and “Q & A (January 2012)” from the 21st to the 23rd; fortunately I hadn’t gone any further than that yet. Whew!
So while I’m in New Orleans, I thought those of you who haven’t yet read all my columns might enjoy some of my New Orleans-themed ones. I already linked “Out and About” in the first paragraph; it’s a guide to my favorite places to eat in the Big Easy. And for those who prefer to cook their own food, I gave you the recipe for gumbo only yesterday. “They All Axed for You” uses my August trip as a springboard for a discussion on New Orleans’ dialect, and since we’re making it down during Carnival this year you may find “King Day” and “Mardi Gras” appropriate reading.
One year ago today I wrote about a famous New Orleans madam in “Josie Arlington”, then last September I wrote about another one in “Lulu White”. Both of those ladies’ bordellos were found in “Storyville”, the city’s famous red-light district; many of the refined Creole ladies who plied their trade there were the descendants of “left-handed marriages”, as explained in “Plaçage”. Creole prostitutes are so much a part of the city’s history that I’ve shared two songs about them (“New Orleans Ladies” and “Lady Marmalade”) with you, and the very first song in my very first hooker song column (namely “Fancy”) was about yet another New Orleanian fille de joie.
It’s been said that part of the distinctive character of New Orleans comes from her relationship with Nature, an idea I visit in “Moondance”; of course, the city’s most famous brush with Nature was Hurricane Katrina, and I discuss my experiences after it in the three-part “The Only Working Girl in New Orleans”. If you don’t already have a low opinion of the New Orleans Police Department, you will after reading those columns; nor has it improved since I left town, as explained in my second-to-last column of 2011, “Three Steps Back”. And if all these aren’t enough, just click on the “New Orleans” tag at the bottom of this post. I apologize if I’m a bit slow to reply to emails or moderate comments this week, but I’m sure you’ll forgive me (it isn’t like I do this every month, after all). And if we manage to get to a parade while we’re there, I’ll catch some beads for y’all.
Maggie, was that you I saw walking down Bourbon Street yesterday with the “painted on” t-shirt? 😛
I was born in a WASP family on the east Mississippi Gulf Coast but my Dad’s family came from Harrison County on the western side of the state and they were all Catholic French “refugees” from New Orleans. So it was a strange contrast between my Mom and Dad’s families. My Dad’s mother spoke French – or some kind of French – my French teacher in college didn’t understand any of the “French” my grandmother taught me – but I remember her and her mother speaking it all the time until her mother died.
I just have a “love / hate” relationship with New Orleans, and I’ve never really adjusted to the culture there. I tried to get stationed there for over 20 years just to get one TOUR close to home – but it was never to be, until 2004 when I got “slammed” (involuntary orders) to New Orleans – Poland Ave, East Bank Naval Station. For a little over a year I got reacquainted with New Orleans but, without going into details, at a few points I had to “interface” with the Mayor’s office on disaster preparedness. I’m not saying the Mayor’s office was the only ones “clueless” about a disastrous hurricane – my bosses were too. I was explicitly told that evacuating NOLA would never happen – no matter how bad the hurricane – by both the Mayor’s office AND my military bosses. Within a year – they were all proven wrong. The very people who told me they’d never order it – ordered it. And we were not prepared.
Long story short – my house flooded (five and half feet) … my command bugged out of NOLA for Tennessee and I decided to retire to fix this muddy, stanky mess of a house I was now saddled with.
I’m good now – and NOLA is mostly good now, physically that is – but the damn crime situation is just crazy. All the Mayor seems to be able to do is hold candlelight vigils for the victims of drive-by shootings and cry and promise retribution – which never comes. The cops are the most corrupt in the world there – hell, during Katrina they murdered people and stole Cadillac’s – it’s just crazy.
Oh, and prior to Katrina, I ran my command’s school sponsorship program. I’ve painted schools in East Timor wearing a flac jacket to protect against rebels when they had their civil war – and I can tell you the schools there were in better condition than the pre-Katrina NOLA public schools. Not an exaggeration. I’m not one for crying – but every time I went to the school we sponsored I wept while driving home afterward at the sheer hopelessness those kids were faced with.
For the most part – I’ve kind of “boycotted” NOLA since Katrina. But a man must do at least some of the things his wife wants him to – so I’ll be down there for two days in the height of Mardi Gras season this year.
I’m not that excited – but I genuinely hope I find something to help me finally “connect” with this city.
Pray for me!
Naah, I don’t wear T-shirts, and I haven’t been on Bourbon Street on foot this trip. As for the rest…I know exactly what you’re talking about, and it’s one of many reasons I eventually settled elsewhere.
Just this last week I watched The Princess and the Frog, which is set in New Orleans in the 1920s. Back then, they had a lot more of their wetlands, and would have likely survived Katrina a bit better. Of course, there weren’t any helicopters, and no television to motivate Americans outside the city to help out.
Maybe we should just call Holland and ask, “How much you want to fix this problem?” They know how.
Wetlands would have helped … but I think the major problem is twofold … first is our rigid view of the landscape – and that it shouldn’t change ever. But the fact is – the mouth of the MS River is like a big spewing hose with no one one holding on to it – it has swayed back and forth since the river was formed a gazillion years ago – we try to hold it in one place today so that someone doesn’t lose land when it moves.
Second is – we’ve tried to improve upon Mother Nature with the MIssissippi River Gulf Outlet and the canals – which really ate us alive in that storm.
But, the experience changed my view of the US completely. Down South – we always SAY that we are for individual rights. Yet – the day after the storm, the Cops tried to turn me away from getting to my house to assess the damage. I parked my car and HIKED in, armed with a 1911 pistol which was necessary because there were starving dogs everywhere. I kept it in my backpack. Others I know carried rifles and had them confiscated by the police here for no reason.
They simply “overrode” the Constitution – because they felt it didn’t apply in a disaster zone. THEY KNOW BETTER THAN YOU DO – you know.
This says nothing of the NOLA cops who just outright shot people for no good reason.