Any man who knows all the answers most likely misunderstood the questions. – Nancy Willard
Please email maggiemcneill@earthlink.net if you have a question you’d like answered; I’ve been rather behind on my correspondence lately, but I should still be able to answer you within a few days.
As a female I’m tired of having to go out and find someone who knows how to make me cum multiple times and has ability to keep going; I’m sick of looking on all these dating sites and I just want a professional who wants my money and has an awesome service to provide. How does one find a male prostitute for a straight female?
The problem is that there simply aren’t enough women who want to hire male escorts to support a male escort service just for women, nor are there any websites (that I know of) that review male escorts for women. I have two suggestions that might potentially help:
1) You could just call a regular service that has male escorts for men; some male escorts are either bisexual or “gay for pay” and would be more than happy to see a female client for a change; or
2) If you’re just looking for oral, you could hire a female escort. Lots of them are bi, and their message board postings could help you to determine which.
Good luck; I hope you find someone who can give you what you’re looking for! You might also watch the comment thread below; my readers very often add helpful suggestions of their own.
I’m close to retirement and have been thinking about opening a brothel in Central America, but I’m trying to figure out how to attract the right girls; do you think they might be interested in alternative business models such as co-ops or other stakeholder arrangements, or do they typically stick (or get stuck with) a straight percentage and room fees?
I’ve never run a brothel, but I did own an escort service, and I got my girls the same way I got my clients: my phone book ad. However, since you’re unable to work there yourself and a brothel really needs at least two or three girls to start, that’s not going to work for you. For anyone who’s never done sex work to succeed at any such venture, he’s going to need a partner who has. I don’t know what connections you have in the place that you plan to open shop, but you’re going to need to use them to get a partner (or at least a manager) who knows the trade while you put up the money. She will know how to interview girls, and to tell which ones will be good and which bad (not foolproof, but much better than you could do). She’ll also tell you what the normal percentages and fees are, so of course if you improve on that a little you’ll be able to attract and keep the best talent.
I’m a man in my late 30’s considering seeing a professional for the first time. However, I’m very risk-averse and I’ve hesitated up to now due to concerns over STDs and law enforcement. I know that escorts make up 0.285% of women and 0.4% of std cases, once you back out streetwalkers, but is there anything beyond wearing a condom that will reduce risk? Since warts, herpes, and other conditions can be spread even with a condom, did you ever happen to contract something in your working years? I know this is a very direct question, so understand if you’d prefer not to answer. Also, how do I find a reputable agency and avoid cops?
Actually, your statistic is just a little off; I said that 0.4% of US STDs are related to escorts or brothel workers, but that’s counting BOTH sides of the transaction. Roughly 6% of men see prostitutes frequently, and though it’s impossible to tell which fraction of them only frequent streetwalkers, let’s presume for the sake of estimation that it’s very similar to the fraction of all whores who are themselves streetwalkers (which seems a reasonable assumption). Since 1/6 is 16.67%, we’ll shave off 1/6 of those clients and just assume 5% of all men visit escorts or brothels but not streetwalkers. That means 2.64% of the population (the combined total of indoor prostitutes and their clients) gets only 0.4% of the STDs, which in turn means that members of the general public are more than six times as likely to get an STD as either an escort or her client. The main reason for this is escorts’ scrupulous use of condoms, coupled with their awareness of the symptoms and avoiding contact with men who even look like they might be infected. In all the years I worked, I never once contracted any kind of STI, nor knew of a girl who did; I do remember one who got mononucleosis, but of course she may have contracted it from a boyfriend outside of work.
My advice for reducing both kinds of risk (disease and police) is the same: hire only established, well-reviewed escorts. Though I did own an agency, it is my considered opinion that it’s better nowadays for clients to hire independents whose reputation and track record they can check online. Even if a lady does not allow reviews (and there are good reasons she might not), if she’s been in the business for a couple of years you can be pretty sure that she’s dependable and knows what she’s doing because even in the absence of published reviews, word gets around among the “hobbyists” if she isn’t and doesn’t.
I’m thinking about hiring a call girl, but I like to kiss and to perform oral sex; is it safe to perform unprotected oral sex on a call girl? Also, I have heard that many have a no-kissing policy; how do I find one who doesn’t?
What you need to do is visit an escort review board like ECCIE or Big Doggie, where you will find both ads for escorts and reviews written by men who have seen them before. Most reviews have an “activities” section where the guys state what they did with the escorts; what you’re looking for is either a narrative stating that a lady you find attractive kisses, or else the acronym “DFK” (deep French kissing). That way you will know before attempting to date any given lady that she is willing to provide what you want most.
The chance of a man getting an STI from performing oral sex on any woman is vanishingly small; though health officials love to overstate risks “to be on the safe side”, the fact of the matter is that unless the woman is menstruating or has some kind of open sores that her lover would surely notice, or he has open sores or cuts in his mouth, there just isn’t an easy route by which disease can pass from a woman’s vulva into someone’s mouth (except for diseases which can be transmitted via mere skin-to-skin contact). The risk is lower still if the woman is a call girl because, as I’ve explained before, professionals in developed countries have a much lower rate of every STI than promiscuous amateurs do; in fact, the only people who have lower STI rates than professional escorts in Western nations are those who are totally celibate.
On finding a professional in the United States …
Stay away from BACKPAGE unless you’re just an “adventurer” who has tons of cash to blow – and really doesn’t care about hiring the occasional crack head, or drama queen or a “bait and switch” or just someone who’s lousy all around.
ECCIE is absolutely essential.
In every section of the nation, there are very good providers who list and communicate on ECCIE. ECCIE has a method for “verification” where guys review and vouch that a girl is legitimate. Sometimes a new girl from BackPage will pop up on ECCIE – and then one of the guys will volunteer to “Take One For The Team” (TOFTT) and check her out. If there’s any drama, like Law Enforcement or other problems with the girl – you’ll find out about it.
I have met some really nice ladies on ECCIE. Not all of them are stunners but none of them are “pimped” and the one’s I’ve seen all enjoy doing the work. Well, one girl put it best when she told me … “Truth is – I’d rather be here with you than in some office with a bunch of bitches.” LOL
Reviews. Reviews on ECCIE are informative – but I often read them and just facepalm myself. Too many guys like to brag about their performance with the girl and they write these things as if they are Penthouse “letters”. Truth be told, if the girls were to review the guys I’m sure you’d get a different picture of the nature of the encounter – but the girls can’t post in the review section. Some guys will have a bad experience because they were stupid, or didn’t bring enough money, or showed up late for the appointment and they’ll slam the girl for it. But for a good provider – you’ll be able to tell those reviews which are “outliers” and should be ignored.
Just find someone on ECCIE that has solid reviews and no reports of weirdness. Things like … “She often forgets to bring condoms – so you need to”. Yeah, I bring my own condoms but it’s kind of a sign of a lack of professionalism for a working girl to trapse around without one of the key elements of the trade. Stay away also, from girls who don’t do proper screening beforehand. Those are the girls who will attempt to do the screening at the appointment – and away you go with “20 Questions” about whether or not you’re in law enforcement. It’s just a lack of professionalism imo.
Always treat the girl right and I say … always give her MORE $$ than she’s asking for her time. It doesn’t have to be a lot in most cases. If she didn’t trip your trigger, then just don’t call her again. If she did make you happy – she’ll encourage you to keep coming back. I’m overseas right now doing some isolated shit for the empire and every morning I wake up to several emails from nice girls I’ve seen. I don’t email them – they email me. No, I’m under no delusions they’re in love with me – they’re just maintaining contact because they want me to visit them when I get back.
Also – all my advice is just based on “nice guy” shit. I’m only in it for the variety and meeting new girls. I have no real “fetishes” to satisfy. I’m not one to say … “Hey turn that thing around bitch!” I’m not really looking for an “actress” who can play a particular role in my fantasies. I just want to see the real girl for who she is – or whatever mask of illusion she wishes to present to me. If you’re into something other … well then that’s a whole different world I can’t speak on.
Last advice – no one likes a girl who’s a clockwatcher. However, you SHOULD be a clockwatcher in the sense that you need to get up and get ready to leave about 10 to 15 minutes before the end of the time period. Consider larger time increments for appointments if you can’t do this. Also – don’t expect to just jump on the girl the minute you walk through the door. Yeah, this happens a lot after you know a girl … but for the first meeting (at least) take some time, open some wine, get to know her.
Krulac it almost sounds like you’ve done this before! Ha!
Speaking of having the lady encouraging you to come back after a good time, I know exactly what you’re talking about. The funny thing is that although I know why she’s doing it I still very much enjoy the encouragement.
Also your mentioning clock watching reminds me of a visit I had with my favorite escort a while back. I had planned for a two hour visit and it was getting close to the end so I asked what time it was. She hadn’t shown any hints of quitting but I had an appointment afterwards. She told me the time and two things occurred to me, I wasn’t going to make my appointment on time and the other was that she was aware of the time but wasn’t planning on quitting yet. At this point she asked if I wanted her to continue or whether I wanted her to stop. Of course there really wasn’t any decision to make so I did the former.
>As a female I’m tired of having to go out and find someone who knows how to make me cum multiple times and has ability to keep going;
Take yourself down to the local lesbian bar. If you’re reasonablt attractive, and personable, you’ll find exactly what you want.
I seem to recall that some oral and throat cancers in men are caused by HPV caught from oral sex. This is one of the reasons health care experts want the vaccine to be used universally for women *and* men.
That’s male on male oral isn’t it?
HPV is highly infectious; even sharing a personal item like a towel can transmit it.
Fortunately, even without treatment, the immune system clears it 90% of the time.
The higher end you go, the less likely a woman has or allows reviews. Please note, expensive does not equal high end. There’s a class issue. All reviews should be taken with a grain of salt but consistency is key. That said, ECCIE reviews tend to be better than TER, in my opinion.
Re: male escorts. I don’t know how much money your female reader has to play with as far as high-end male escorts there is Logan Wright, Vincent William, and Alex S. Logan for starters.
Those sites are just another confirmation of my stereotype about the “best” male lovers: they’re unattractive guys.
Not “ugly”, not “unfit”, not even “unassuming”, just a *liiiitle* too under the radar for the majority of women. All three of them are on the other side of thirty. The black gigolo is slender (not bulky or even muscular, the normal stereotype of a “hot” black guy.) Gigolo #2 looks like he’s over 40, Gigolo #3 looks like he’s over *60*. If you were to walk past them on the street, I doubt that the first thing to pop in your mind would be, “*I’d* pay $500 to let him touch my mommy parts!” And yet, here they are, being affirmed by Aspasia (of Aspasia and Fern, I assume?) I’ll bet that, when given the opportunity, they could charm the habit from a nun or make a Duchess blush and nod. But for many (if not most women) guys who don’t make them tingle where they mingle at first sight are overlooked. In fact, I’d say that it’s the first letter writer’s issue: she goes after hot guys, she sleeps with them, then gets disappointed because “hot guys” don’t need bedroom skills. If Brad Pitt was on the market, a thousand women could come forward calling him the “30-second king”, and he’d still have no issue with finding new bed partners. It works the same way for his less-famous counterparts. For every conventionally attractive guy who actually gives a Damn about his partner’s pleasure, there’s a dozen whose main idea is, “There’s always another girl…”
Part 2
T’Jock, IMO, has the best idea. If the writer’s primary desire is a sequence of orgasms *sans reciprocation*, her best bet is to find a literal “service man”. Hobbyists are a good shot (any guy who’s dedicated himself to being attractive to women in sex services learns quickly that the best way to be her first call is to deliver a good performance.) Plus, avid hobbyists get rated by their escorts as well. Some of their websites have “Escorts Talk Back” sections. A client who receives pleasant reviews from his escort(s) should be a great start for a lover.
Masseurs are also a good bet. Find a masseur who bills himself as “straight” (not “Str8” or “heterosexual”), has pictures of himself massaging average-looking women on his site and has billing prices for 2+ hours and/or for “couples massage”. Those are the men who are most likely to have “taken the plunge” into illicit sex work (usually by dint of being hit upon by older or less attractive women, a la the cheesy, “So, only *men* can get happy endings? { wink wink }”, or husbands in “the lifestyle” who enjoy the pleasures of compersion.) Massage therapists are notoriously negative about earning “that” reputation, but they’re still people with bills and (more importantly) libidos. In the same way that a female LPT/LMT may put codewords such as “intimate” or “comfortable” in her ad, some male masseurs may have “unfazed” or “thorough” as indications of availability.
Also, never underestimate the power of kink. Finding suitable, submissive/service-minded men on websites such as AFF or Fetlife is neither difficult or even time-consuming. You can use these sites to find men who will suck your toes while wearing “Gothic Lolita” fashion, finding a “regular” guy who’s willing to dip his head low for the cost of transportation is easy. And, like hobbyists, its easy to spend a few nights reading their prior messages/entries to see what they’re like when they aren’t trying to impress *you* (in PMs, etc.) Like hobbyists, you may not find the *fittest* men on the planet, but if you’re just looking for a guy who knows his way around a vagina… After all, the writer’s current search is giving her a bunch of duds, she could do a lot worse than a guy who sees nothing odd about the idea of calling himself a “vagitarian” and posting pictures of himself using women’s pubic hair as a mustache. 😀
Part 3
However, if the writer is looking for the “total package”
Charming, with a glint in his eye and a rogueish smile
Sparkling conversation
Good dance skills, or an “in” to the hottest/trendiest destinations
Able to do “the right thing, at the right time, for an entire night out”
Who will also be willing and able to
Fiddle with her middle until she’s soaking wet
Give her “bowards” until her toes are clenched, her fingers are knotted in the sheets and she forgets her name
Pin her knees against her shoulders and make her forget that she’s not flexible enough to have her knees pinned that far back
Flip her around and make her forget that she has bad knees
Put her on top and marvel at the way her breasts bounce
And be able to do that entire sequence again, and *again*!
Her best shot is those gigolos. *Being* the ideal lover is easier said than done,
being affirmed by Aspasia (of Aspasia and Fern, I assume?)
As in Aspasia of Miletus, hetaira, erotodidaskalos, philosopher and teacher to Socrates, and mistress to Emperor Pericles. As far as the male escorts I linked to, those are the ones I associate with under my working name, which is not this one. I’m sure there are others who don’t bat in their league but I am unaware of them.
In other words, this Aspasia. 🙂
Heh. My first exposure to the name “Aspasia” was on Literotica. She (well, assuming that the writer was female) was an advice columnist.
The statistics about STDs are interesting; I’ve seen them in the previous column but this makes me remember that I have a problem with them. No, I don’t think they’re wrong; I trust you to do the research right.
The trouble is that “percentage of STDs infecting whores” and “percentage of whores with an STD” are two different things. You’re using the former number, but for judging risk, the latter number is what’s needed.
The relative measure of risk (one-sixth the chance with a whore as a non-whore) is an improvement, but if 100% of the non whore population has STDs, 16.6% of the whores also do, and you may be better off with your hand. I don’t think these numbers directly contradict anything you’ve written, either, even though they’re clearly absurd.
To derive the actual infection rates for whores and non-whores from the numbers you’ve given in this post and the previous one, you’d need the infection rate for the population as a whole, or the number of infections in the population plus the size of the population. (from which you can approximate the infection rate if you don’t mind ignoring multiple-infection cases)
For an example of why the difference is important, consider a sample of one million people of whom 10,000 are infected and only 40 are whores. If .4% of the infected are whores, it sounds really low, but in truth *all* the whores are infected. Their infection rate is 100% and you’re really better off with an amateur.
You’ve ruled out results that stupid in the relative-risk calculation in this post, but for the paranoid, absolute-risk is what you want to know, and there’s not quite enough here to calculate it.
Addendum: The .4% number appears to be based off of an “up to 80x” ratio in the Dirty Whores column. I’m not sure if you’re quoting your source there or not, but it makes me cautious for the same reason that internet service advertised as “up to X megabits” makes me suspicious.
BREAKING NEWS
The US Supreme Court just let stand a lower court’s ruling that laws against video recording police is in violation of the First Amendment. Bad cops are now crying in their beer, or should be. Be nice if they’d just get out of police work altogether, but oh well.
Has nothing to do with this entry in your fine blog, Maggie, but I knew that you and others here would want to know.
‘my readers very often add helpful suggestions of their own’
I might suggest thinking about giving a ‘hobbyist’ a try. I’ve had several escorts indicate that their customers are often excellent in bed. Why? Because they practice on a variety of women. Also, many of them are there because they enjoy giving women pleasure. I know I seek escorts who enjoy their work and provide GFE (girl friend experience) and I put into the encounter as much as I receive.
You could ‘lurk’ on ECCIE for a while and pick a hobbyist. It’s easy to contact that person and for him it would be like winning the lottery. Besides, the best part is when it’s over, he will leave.
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Because an escort (or any other sex worker) would NEVER lie about the sexual prowess of her clientele!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Listen up, Mr. Delusional, half the job is validation and ego massage!
Hi Maggie ,I noticed this response you gave and I just had to reply even though I understand it’s an old response from you . Just wondering why you forgot us hobbyist? As a hobbyist with years of experience I’m pretty sure I would be able to provide a female in this predicament with all the sexual satisfaction as long as there was mutual connection. Do you think??? And with no expense to boot! Just a little sad you forgot about us..
I forgot nothing; a client is not a professional. The aims of a client and a provider are exactly the opposite; they are not interchangeable. A pro doesn’t care if there’s “mutual connection”; he does the job he’s paid to do whether he’s attracted to the client or not. Furthermore, how would she attract a client, by putting out an ad? I’m sure you understand that could create a whole host of problems even worse than those she’s trying to avoid.
I have to disagree. What I meant about connection is just like any other transaction between a hobbyist and a provider . Do you think a hobbyist does not select a provider that he is attracted to?? He does ! I should been more descriptive in explaining what I meant about a connection. As an experienced hobbyist one fully understands that it’s a service he is paying for . The same would apply to a female looking to get sexual gratification from a hobbyist . She would have to be attracted to the hobbyist and the hobbyist to her. And she would have to be very explicit in what she wants. I think you would agree that experienced hobbyist could not be compared to a mistress since a hobbyist would only be interested in his sexual gratification as well as hers so there would be very little risk of him causing drama or problems since he’s very experienced sexual interactions with no commitments. I think it would be possible for this type of set up and agreement. And she would NOT have to pay for it. Besides, I would think as a hobbyist and one who adores and loves women I would be In a better position to provide a BFE (Boy Friend Experience) then a bisexual man that is really not that into women and is only there because he is getting paid. I mean this generally . I’m sure there would be some bisexually men that adore women as well but it would not be as common . I do agree with you that it would be difficult for her to find an experienced hobbyist but if she looked for him in websites like Ashley Madison or numerous other adult sites available she could screen men with hobbyist experience it could be possible to find one. The odds on her favor since there are usually 10 men to one woman in these sites. As you are very aware an experienced hobbyist cannot be compared to an amateur mistress!
No. You are being willfully obtuse, as you would not be if you were talking about any other profession; next you’ll be saying that if one is seeking a barber, someone who gets his hair cut often will do just as well. Or “why hire a cook? A person who eats at restaurants often is equally qualified!”
The gourmand doesn’t cook food, but only eats it. The guy who gets lots of haircuts doesn’t cut hair himself.*
However, the hobbyist DOES have sex with women; that’s what his hobby is. Now, I wouldn’t say that hiring a lot of harlots would make him a good gigolo, and I doubt that it’s as effective at making a man good in bed as JoeMarti likes to think it does; the women he hires are supposed to act like he’s Casanova whether he is or not.
Now, if I were to post here, “How can I get the most amazing blow job ever?” and some guy said, “Hey, I’ve hired everybody from streetwalkers to expensive escorts and I’ve always had fellatio as part of the deal; I could give you the VERY best blow job ever in the history of EVER!!” my response would be
a) GETTING lots of blow jobs doesn’t necessarily mean that you are good at GIVING blow jobs and,
b) I was kind of wanting it from a woman… nothing personal.
* It is entirely possible that the gourmand is also a gourmet, and the guy who gets lots of hair cuts may be the best stylist on Earth. But I need something to make me think that this is the case, beyond his assertion that A=B.
Maggie, I think you are willfully comparing apples and oranges. Generally speaking and there are exceptions obviously, I don’t think that you can generally compare the wants and desires of males seeking professional female sexual workers – I do consider female sex workers professionals by the way- to females seeking sexual gratification from someone with experience. Just like you can’t compare bisexual professional male sex workers to females sex workers. The majority of male sexual workers provide services to other men not females. All things being equal, I would venture to say the majority of women seeking sexual gratification would prefer and a straight man not a bisexual– and free one!! vs. having to pay a bisexual male professional. And this comes from my personal experience of not too many women willing to pick up the tab!
You and Sailor are right just because someone receives a service does not make them an expert in that field but you both are being simplistic in your analogy. Receiving a haircut or a meal in a restaurant is for the most part a passive experience with little participation or interaction with the person receiving the service compared to being fully engaged and involved with a professional sex working. I still think that the RIGHT experienced hobbyist and in tune to a woman’s desires would a better and cheaper choice to a female seeking sexual gratification. And if it doesn’t work out, she can always hire a professional bisexual man and pay for it. One other point, I have dealings with professionals that provided horrible service and not very good at their profession and that also includes female sexual workers as well and have had lousy haircuts and been to lousy restaurants . Just because someone is a professional doesn’t mean they’ll provide good service. I will not get into my Casanova abilities.. LOL!! , but I will say this what I do for a living requires me to be very detail orientated , in tune and very receptive which does carry over in some areas of my life and outside of work. And by the way, I’m a hell of a cook too just had 28 people over for Thanksgiving and prepared a free range turkey using my dry brine recipe that was to die for and received many compliments and also prepared a flan – I’m Latin by the way- using my mom’s recipe that to this date I have found no equal and I have been to many “professional establishments” in the states and a few in Spain to no avail.
Dry brine recipe? OK, I’m interested.
I did allow that a hobbyist is having sex with women, and thus if nothing else has had some practice. Maggie herself has allowed that a man may become a more skilled and confident lover by employing the ladies of the night.
Agreed that just being “a professional” doesn’t necessarily make you better at something than “an amateur.” Mary Lou Retton was an amateur, and she didn’t exactly suck at gymnastics.