Oral sex may be the biggest factor in the rise of throat cancer in…the U.S. and U.K. “For oropharyngeal cancer, the main risk factor [after refusing to take the HPV vaccine] is the number of lifetime sexual partners, especially oral sex,” Mehanna wrote for The Conversation. “Those with six or more lifetime oral-sex partners are 8.5 times more likely to develop oropharyngeal cancer than those who do not practice oral sex”…
Everything I said back in the original column is still true.
A man [named David Montes was]…arrested for murder in Moxee [Washington] after…he suffocated a woman from an escort service, wrapped her body in plastic wrap in the backseat of his truck, then called 911 to confess…the woman was identified as 63-year-old Santos Gloria Reyes from Yakima…Montes [told cops] he was having homicidal thoughts and went on an escort service website to find someone he could “take out”…[after the murder] he ran errands with the [body] still in the back, then contacted his uncle on the night of April 14 where he confessed to his actions. He then called 911 because his uncle told him to…
…Morality in Media…has launched a new campaign to eradicate all adult content on Reddit…call[ing] for the platform to take action against “hardcore pornography and sexually explicit content”…the [pro-censorship] organization frames the call for censoring Reddit — one of the main platforms that allows open sexual expression from users — as addressing “abuse and exploitation”…[but it]s rhetoric about nonconsensual material ultimately serves as a Trojan horse for a call to censor all sexually explicit content and eliminate accounts that share it, regardless of consent or legality…
Wikipedia will not comply with any age checks required under the [UK] Online Safety Bill…Rebecca MacKinnon, of the Wikimedia Foundation…says it would “violate our commitment to collect minimal data about readers and contributors”…the government says only services [politicians claim] pos[e what is nebulously labeled “]the highest risk to children[” at any given moment] will need age verification…Wikimedia UK fears the site could be blocked because of its stance…
Eric Uller was…a volunteer in the Police Activities League, where, beginning in the late 1980s, he…was a sexual predator…[who] destroyed the lives of children…wh[ile]…authorities [ignored warnings about his abuse over many years]…Now, more than 200 people have come forward to say they were abused by Uller, most of whom were underprivileged children…whose parents were in this country without proper immigration papers…Santa Monica [has] settled…lawsuits…total[ling]…$229.285 million [so far] — the most costly single-perpetrator sexual abuse disbursement for any municipality in the state…He…most[ly]…target[ed] Latino boys between the ages of 12 and 15…but some were as young as 8, said attorney Brian Claypool, who has represented more than 80 victims…Uller used his police connections to lure them…He…[had] a badge…handcuffs and…a gun…“Everyone thought he was a police officer,” [one victim] said…
Sexual abuse is rampant…at FCI Tallahassee…[where] documented reports of guards terrorizing, threatening, and stalking, as well as mentally, physically, and sexually abusing prisoners…go back at least as far as 2002, so[on]…after the facility officially became a women’s prison. Since 2012, the Federal Bureau of Prisons (BOP) has received more than 130 complaints [of] staff…[raping] prisoner[s]…but the abusive and retaliatory environment…has only spiraled further out of control…recent scrutiny has almost completely overlooked a culture of impunity and widespread abuse at FCI Tallahassee and centered instead on other prisons...[such as] the…so-called rape club [in California]…FCI Tallahassee’s recent ability to remain out of the spotlight is…a reflection of…a brutally efficient system of retaliation and cover-up, which employs a dizzying variety of tactics to protect perpetrators of sexual assault and keep their victims silent…
A…Pueblo County [Colorado screw was sacked for] assaulting [his girlfriend at least twice] in five months…Donald Teschner…was arrested on April 21, 2023..for [the assault, which left a]…”large lump on the back of…the victim’s…head with [bloody] scratches”…the…argument [began because] Teschner [imagined] that the victim was cheating on him, which [he used as an excuse]…to break her phone…hit her in the back of the head…throw…[her against] the wall…[hard enough that] she…was knocked out…This is Teschner’s fourth arrest since 2019….[when] he was convicted of possession of a gun while drunk…[and] sentenced to 18 months of probation…
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I have often expressed how disappointed I am that the cultural reaction of Americans to The Hite Report and other ’70s studies & surveys of female sexuality was for most women to become (sexually) more like men, in other words for their sexuality to become less about the experience and more about the relentless pursuit of orgasm. And it’s only become worse since the ’80s; virtually nobody (and yes, women are often just as bad as men) is willing to accept any more that some of us simply aren’t very orgasmic, and that whatever new “technique” or “toy” or “process” they want to try isn’t going to make any difference. My anorgasmia is only partly due to a recessed clitoris; the rest is due to my neuroatypicality in general and my cognitive hyperactivity in particular. And though most people recognize that I’m really quite intelligent and have had many, many thousands of hours of practice over the last 40 years, they still refuse to grok that I already figured out long, long ago (by the mid-’80s) what will produce orgasm on a semi-regular basis, “but will probably never act on [those things] again because they either come with too much baggage or it’s much too difficult to find the right person or persons to do them with.” Though this is considered heresy in “sex-positive” circles, I simply don’t think it’s important enough to invest my time, effort, and money in toys, books, classes, Gwyneth Paltrow gimmicks, or silly cults in a fruitless effort to pursue an experience my body and nervous system seem disinclined to undergo.
If you’ve never seen a woman write about this before, it’s probably because most women who feel as I do are afraid to admit it. They’re afraid of being considered defective, freakish, or simply not good enough, and not only by entities who reside outside of their own skulls. But most anorgasmic women don’t write about sex; most women writing about sex haven’t been sex workers for their entire adult lives; and most of the sex workers who both feel as I do and write about sex (probably already a rather small group) are too concerned with commercial viability to admit that no, they really can’t orgasm 17 times from some dude’s fumbling around with their genitalia, and they’re really not thinking about sex as often as their clients do. But for me, the best thing about paid sex is, I get the reward I want regardless of whether my wiring decides to respond in a way that will feed my partner’s ego. And sex work gave me the confidence not to be ashamed to say that I don’t give a shit if I don’t orgasm. But I understand that I’m unusual in many respects, so I was very pleasantly surprised to see this stunningly-honest article in The Atlantic:
I am a 39-year-old woman, and I have never, to my knowledge, had an orgasm…I love sex, and I’m probably on the kinky side—there’s very little that I haven’t tried. But no matter how much I am enjoying myself, there inevitably comes a time, both on my own and with a partner, when the physical pleasure, having built and built, either fades to nothing or becomes a sensation too uncomfortable to bear, and provides neither the rapture nor release I have imagined…In the early days of [my] relationship [with my future ex-husband], I made…an appointment with a sex therapist, therein getting a glimpse of the growing and highly lucrative female-orgasm industry. A plump, elderly woman…advised me to eat more dark chocolate, stop taking birth control, and sign up for what she called “orgasm camp,” an immersive experience …that would have me masturbating all day long. She also sent me home with some female-centric 1980s porn, a list of recommended herbs and vitamins, and a prescription for Viagra that the pharmacist, alarmed by my gender, initially refused to fill. For months I dutifully followed her advice…but…eventually, exhausted and even a little bit bored by the effort, I once again resigned myself to my anorgasmic fate…
…In her 2018 book, Faking It, the sex educator Lux Alptraum denounces a culture in which, for many men, the female orgasm has become “the primary, if not entire, purpose for pursuing sex—a sentiment that suggests that anyone who isn’t able, or doesn’t want, to achieve orgasm is some kind of freak or failure.” Alptraum lays no small amount of blame for this on She Comes First, a wildly popular cunnilingus manual by the sex therapist Ian Kerner, which…established a new paradigm in which the female orgasm, once seen as mythic, was recast as compulsory…
…I finally embraced the obvious solution: I started faking it…sex therapists…think that faking it breeds guilt and resentment…but the truth is that, for me, faking it was instantly empowering, even revelatory. Overnight, the emphasis shifted from what I lacked to what I offered…faking it threw into relief my sexuality; for the first time since my divorce, maybe for the first time ever, men began to see me as I saw myself, and as I knew myself to be, which is to say, no less carnal than the next person, and perhaps even more so…
There’s a great deal more, and I think it’s especially worth reading if you’re anorgasmic yourself, or if you would like to understand why some women aren’t interested in catering to your emotional need to give them orgasms. I myself have written in defense of faking orgasms on several occasions, and I’m in agreement with author Katharine Smyth about faking being a legitimate strategy to reclaim one’s sexuality from the tyranny of others’ selfishness disguised as generosity. There’s quite a bit more after the part I’ve quoted, in which Smyth tries all sorts of other things for which I lack the patience, the credulity and the dedication; I must also point out that when I was her age, I had already been doing sex work on and off for 21 years and full-time escorting for 6. But even so, I hope that by the time she’s my age she either finds what she’s looking for, or learns to stop caring about it.
You would think that an organization…that spent weeks…agonizing over a decision to block literal Nazis from its platform…would be more considerate when getting into the censorship game. – Sarah Jamie Lewis
Many Evangelical preachers have been looking for a scapegoat for COVID-19. They’ve already blamed it on gays and claimed it was a sign of the end of the world. Some Evangelicals don’t even believe the disease is real…But now fundie fossil Pat Robertson has weighed in with an even more ridiculous theory….“Some of these young uns are doing all kinds of unnatural things with their sex organs…When people do that, they transfer all kinds of chemicals from ladies’ private parts and that’s where I think the virus came from. We never had this kind of thing when I was coming up. But no one was committing oral sex back then”…preacher Rick Wiles…recently…claimed…that COVID-19 was punishment from God…
Cloudflare, known for free speech advocacy, rolled out a self-styled family-friendly variation of its DNS service to [censor] adult content – and ended up [censoring] LGBTQ websites and sex education resources [as is typical for such automated censorship software]…the service is called 1.1.1.1 for Families…
Police in Chula Vista, Calif. plan to use Chinese-made aerial drones to surveil [their subjects in order to] enforce the [police] state’s…“stay at home” [diktats]…the…drones…[will] be outfitted with night-vision and loudspeakers…Chula Vista [pigs] may also use…drones to [harass]…the city’s homeless…the coronavirus outbreak has rapidly [given]…Chula Vista…[“authorities” the excuse to do something they’ve been wanting to do for years]…Chinese-manufactured drones pose a risk of opening the U.S. up to Chinese spying efforts. In 2017, the U.S. Army ordered its soldiers to stop using DJI drones [for that reason, and] the U.S. Department of the Interior also decided in October to ground its entire drone fleet…
[The] federal judge [who found Michigan’s overbroad and draconian “sex offender” law unconstitutional] is commanding state authorities to stop enforcing [it]…during the coronavirus pandemic…Judge Robert Cleland…[wrote that] officials are “preliminarily enjoined from enforcing registration, verification, school zone, and fee violations of (the act) that occurred or may occur from February 14, 2020, until the current crisis has ended, and thereafter until registrants are notified of what duties they have…going forward”…
Clearview AI…is the most powerful form of facial recognition technology ever created…with more than 3 billion photos scraped surreptitiously from social media profiles and websites…Its mobile app can match names to faces with a tap of a touchscreen. The technology is already being integrated into augmented reality glasses so [cops] can identify almost anyone they look at…Clearview’s CEO and co-founder, Cam-Hoan Ton-That, and his associates chose to [emulate government actors by] mass-violat[ing] social media policies against scraping accounts…Ton-That, as well as several people who have done work for the company, have deep, longstanding ties to far-right extremists…includ[ing]…Andrew “weev” Auernheimer…webmaster for The Daily Stormer; and…Peter Thiel, a Facebook board member…Trump adviser…and [owner of]…Palantir, his [the fascist surveillance] behemoth [that started as a tool in the War on Whores]…Every time p[igs root into people’s business] us[ing] Clearview, they upload images of people they’re trying to identify…to Ton-That’s unregulated and ever-expanding database, where they are stored indefinitely [for other pigs, spooks and bureaucrats to root in without any kind of supervision]…
…The Stokely family had already been sort of financially struggling…long before Onlyfans…Users often are struggling to get paid; some [sic] shortchanged all together [sic]…the Stokely’s [sic] and the execs have struggled to find payment processors that can or would…deal with a website that isn’t fully registered the way it should be…The processors…we do have aren’t actually full payment processors because we are in trouble with processors over a number of violations…Performers are being used and duped while execs/Stokely’s [sic] are making off with huge sums of money…Go somewhere else. There are plenty of other platforms out there…Performers should run for the hills…
Unable to play golf in their own state due to the…[government shutting down courses us]ing [the] pandemic [as an excuse], three Massachusetts men…crossed into Rhode Island…[and] were arrested after returning to their cars in a McDonald’s parking lot [because a bootlicker snitched on them]…after noticing two cars with Massachusetts license plates load golf clubs into a car with a Rhode Island license plate…the course will begin checking IDs [to ensure undersirables from the other side of an imaginary line can’t]…play…
I understand why professionals fake orgasm, but why do women in committed relationships do it? Isn’t that kind of counterproductive? Wouldn’t it be better to be truthful and tell the partner what would get them off?
Sometimes I wish the myth that men don’t give a shit whether their partners climax or not were true. Maybe it was at some time in the past, but in the present day most men I’ve been with (and that’s a very large number, as you can probably guess) care very much about it. Now, that may be because many men feel they have “failed” at sex if they can’t get a woman to climax, due to copious messaging that men are “selfish” or incompetent or both in that department. In other words, for some (many? most?) men it may not be about whether a woman is actually enjoying the experience, but rather about coddling his insecurities (such as worrying that she’ll run off with some other dude who can “do it better” or whatever); in other words, for these men (however common or rare they may be) a woman not orgasming during sex may poke the same emotional vulnerabilities as having a penis he believes (correctly or otherwise) is “too small”. However, even men who are genuinely concerned for their partner’s satisfaction for reasons that couldn’t be called “selfish” without considerable logical contortion, generally labor under the delusion (cultivated by popular media) that most women are able to climax dependably if only their partner does everything “right”, as though a woman’s body were a video game which spits out the prize called “orgasm” once the player reaches a high enough total of points. I once explained it this way:
The competitive, result-oriented male mind sees female orgasm as the target, the goal, the finish line of the “game” of sex, so his sexual pleasure is greatly enhanced if he can “score” it. However…it isn’t that simple. For many women orgasm is more like hunting than it is like football; it’s not just a matter of aiming a shot with proper force and accuracy into a static area, but rather of hitting a moving target which may or may not elect to show itself on that occasion…But…the average man…just can’t comprehend that the right combination of moves and techniques could through no fault of his own somehow fail to achieve what it was intended to achieve…
Because of this, men will annoyingly delay their own climax or even pepper a woman with questions about what they “did wrong”; a fake therefore acts as permission to the man to orgasm himself (rather than forcing his partner to endure tens of minutes of pistoning because he thinks that’s what women want and won’t listen if told otherwise), and fends off pointless questions and the need to perform emotional labor by explaining that it isn’t his fault and he’s not a caricature. But before my lesbian readers get too smug (as so many do every time some report says lesbians climax more frequently than straight women do): female partners can be just as annoying for women like me who A) simply aren’t very orgasmic; and B) dislike whatever it is that the female partner wants to do to her (often cunnilingus). In other words, a lot (though by no means all) of fake orgasms (outside of work) are motivated by a desire to spare the partner’s feelings and circumvent the common but erroneous perception that a woman not orgasming is always due to some failure on the part of her partner, when often that may have little or nothing to do with it.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Los Angeles prosecutors said…they hope a civil lawsuit will [bankrupt] two San Fernando Valley massage parlors they accused [without evidence] of being fronts for…human trafficking rings. City Attorney Mike Feuer said his office filed the lawsuit against the…owners…[and] the landlord of the strip malls where both are located. Prosecutors are seeking a permanent injunction against the spas, as well as financial [loot]…the city attorney’s office accused Xiaoxi Ding and Hongshan Wang of running a “sophisticated prostitution ring at both locations”…
Beth Grate…started learning [fantasies] about human trafficking when a family visited her…church…She went on to found and head…a chapter of the Michigan Abolitionist Project….She attended and spoke at programs about human trafficking…and…[st]alked [sex workers in] neighborhoods…She is working toward earning certification as a human trafficking international subject matter expert, a new program that is being developed [by unnamed parties]…Victims of trafficking are usually Americans with ages ranging from one to 70 years old…“I believe in Jesus Christ. I was sitting with the Lord and I said, ‘Why can’t I find my niche? God put in the idea I wasn’t supposed to have a narrow niche, but a broad spectrum ministry…People don’t think it’s happening here…it’s [fantasized] in every county of Michigan…Traffickers can live in your neighborhood”…
When Addeline Brindle woke up on March 29, 2018…her 3-month-old baby, Tre’Velle…[was dead] in the bed beside her…Mansfield, Ohio, police…[interrogated the traumatized 19-year-old at] the hospital…and she [foolishly] told them that she had used cocaine two days before…six months later…she was charged with involuntary manslaughter, reckless homicide, endangering children, and possession of cocaine…Her attorney, John Boyd, pushed for probation…[but] Judge Brent Robinson [grunted]…“[Oink oink] drugs [are bad]…and [I am] going to [make you] suffer”…But…medical experts who reviewed the baby’s autopsy report…said…it was unclear whether his death stemmed from his sleeping situation, or from an undiagnosed medical condition…the prosecutor and judge used Tre’Velle’s death to send a message about [defying the police state]…In the past…many…deaths were attributed to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, a catch-all diagnosis…But in recent decades, thanks to [expansion of the carceral state]…forensic pathologists have shifted away from SIDS and toward [blaming the mother]…
…In 2017, nearly 25,000 runaways reported to NCMEC and nearly 3,600 were likely victims of sex trafficking. Of those, 88 percent came from the social services system…The most common reasons for [kids to be abducted by the State]…were neglect (62 percent) and drug abuse by one or both parents (36 percent). [But so-called] drug abuse can be as simple as failing a single voluntary drug test. Neglect can mean as little as missing homeschooling paperwork, or even letting a child eat sweets before dinner…Once the child is in the system, it can be exceedingly difficult for the parents to get their child back…Pimps are…skilled at developing dependency in their victims…Their main targets are children aged 12-14…“When law enforcement takes these kids back home, many times these kids walk right back out the door on their own and right back into the clutches of these offenders,” said [NCMEC bureaucrat Robert] Lowery…himself [a former pig]…
It absolutely true that most underage sex workers [not “sex trafficked children”] come from the “foster care” system, and that the system is a police-state abomination which destroys lives without adequate reason. But they average 16-17, not 13; only a very small number [about 10%] have “pimps”; they run away again because the foster homes are very often more intolerable than street living, not because of ninja “pimps” with magical mind-control powers; and NCMEC is a dangerous anti-sex organization which hides its agenda behind “protecting children”. Its claims about “likely victims” are pure nonsense with absolutely no basis in statistics; in fact, they even contradict NCMEC’s own published statistics. But I guess none of that matters when there’s money to be made, a police state to enlarge and exciting fantasies of 13-year-old “sex slaves” to be wanked to.
A [typical and representative] Jackson [Mississippi cop who] repeatedly [raped] a 15-year-old in the back of his patrol car committed suicide shortly after news broke about the abuse…James Hollins.[tricked the girl into thinking he was her friend and then demanded sex. In typical pig fashion, he did not kill himself in a dignified and private manner, but instead shot himself in his car with a gun stolen from another cop]…on I-220 [on the afternoon of May 27th, resulting in a massive rush-hour traffic jam as cops closed] both lanes of the interstate…for over two hours [while unsuccessfully trying to figure out how to pin the shooting on someone else. Hollins raped the girl]…several times a week over…six month[s and made]…several sexually explicit videos of the [assaults]…The teen’s mother caught on…and…reported it to the police chief…[who gave Hollins a paid vacation]…
Maryland’s highest court will soon decide whether a 16-year-old girl, “S.K.,” can face child pornography charges for taking a video of herself performing…consensual oral sex on an unidentified male [and sending it to] two close friends and [a snitch]…who [ratted her out to the pigs]…S.K.’s attorney, Public Defender Claudia Cortese, [naively] argued that the statute in question was not intended to punish minors…”the prosecutor [lied that] the state was not ‘trying to [send a message but]…is just trying to help her” [by sexually traumatizing her and branding her mentally ill for normal teen behavior]…
Four national non-profits dedicated to protecting civil liberties and personal freedom…have lodged…amicus briefs with the federal court in Phoenix in support of a recent motion to dismiss by defendants in the Backpage case…the DKT Liberty Project, the Cato Institute and the Reason Foundation — joined forces in one brief, asking the court to grant the motion to dismiss. Meanwhile the ACLU of Arizona submitted its own amicus curiae, focusing on the First Amendment implications of the prosecution…At the heart of the case is the government’s assumption that the ads in Backpage’s adult section for putatively legal services…were actually selling illicit sex. But as the motion to dismiss and the amicus briefs point out, that is not an assumption that the First Amendment allows prosecutors to make…the First Amendment, and…the…charges under the Travel Act, require a specific knowledge and intent to promote the specific illegal act in question…And yet, prosecutors are not claiming that the defendants ever saw the…50 ads…which the government says it can connect to illegal acts. Obviously, Lacey and Larkin were not engaged in the mundane task of reviewing ads for publication. And most of the 50 ads the government cites were published after the two men sold their interest in the company in 2015…
…the U.S. Department of Justice is now subpoenaing records related to the Floridian entrepreneur and small-time Republican donor Li “Cindy” Yang…her husband and parents, several former members of her staff, her colleague on the National Committee of Asian American Republicans, and several other Chinese Americans…Yang—who built up and then sold a spa and massage chain in South Florida—had in recent years launched G.Y. U.S. Investments, an endeavor that helped Chinese business owners navigate U.S. regulations and make contacts, investments, and operational inroads here. As part of this consulting business, Yang sometimes offered clients access to events at Trump’s private club in Palm Beach and to other Republican parties. Prosecutors say some of these events were ticketed fundraisers…and non-citizens are prevented from donating to U.S. political campaigns…people are already spinning wild tales about what we supposedly know about Yang—that she funneled money from China to Trump, and that she earned her money from human trafficking…
Nikki Cox…thought…she [would not be believed by] police…after she was sexually assaulted by a client, who booked with the name Alex, in February last year. But Alex was on [May 28th] handed a partly suspended sentence of 15-months in jail — of which he must serve two months — for one count of aggravated sexual assault, to which he pleaded guilty in April…Nikki has told her story…because she felt the chance of her assault being taken seriously enough to result in an arrest, let alone in a successful prosecution, was microscopic…
Have you ever come across any asexual escorts? I’m asexual but sex positive and interested in getting into the business. I feel like personally I’d have it easier than some because while I have great empathy with people, and enjoy socializing, I have no sexual or romantic attraction to make things messy.
As long as you’re good at faking sexual response and you aren’t actually repulsed by sex, being asexual is not in itself a barrier to being a sex worker. No professional finds the majority of her clients attractive, and we all have some clients who are if anything the opposite of attractive. Furthermore, I know more than a few escorts who are lesbians, yet still do quite well. The reason is simple: though many men seem unable to understand it or may even deny it, the fact is that an escort’s service for her client is a performance, not a “mutual” sexual experience such as amateurs claim to prefer (mostly because they can’t separate Hollywood fantasy from practical reality). The truth is, a woman who is having sex to fulfill her own needs cannot possibly devote as much energy and attention to her partner as a skilled and perceptive sex worker can, precisely because she is paying attention at least in part to her own needs rather than devoting 100% of her attention to the task at hand. It’s the same reason 69 is a really crappy position even though many amateurs are fascinated by it, and the same reason professionals are so frustrated by clients who insist that “I want to please yoooooooouuuu!” (which is generally code for “I want to go down on you”, because a lot of guys have been brainwashed into thinking that every woman just adores cunnilingus, and have convinced themselves that they’re experts at performing it). At the end of the day, a sex worker’s personal interest in or desire for sex is of little importance; what matters is her ability to divine and respond to her client’s needs, to give him a good time, and to make him feel accepted and appreciated.
I’ve been seeing my favorite lady for two years. We have a great rapport; she enjoys hard, fast thrusting and can achieve multiple strong orgasms. However, I am uncircumcised and struggle with premature ejaculation, so I have to go very slow for a good while until the sensitivity dies down, and then I can engage in more energetic thrusting without risk of going too soon. But my lady friend has become increasingly demanding that I perform energetically from the beginning; in our last encounter, she even told me that I was “killing her” by taking her so close to orgasm and then backing off (which I had to do to keep from orgasming myself). I want to tell her that I need to take things slow for the first 10-15 minutes, and that I can give her the kind of sex she wants later if she can only be patient. I know I shouldn’t say that I’m paying for the time and she should do it how I want, and that’s not how I feel anyway. But on the other hand, I can’t help but feel that she is prioritizing her pleasure above my own, and that kind of hurts my feelings. How do I broach the subject with her in a manner that won’t offend her?
You’re absolutely right that as a professional, she’s there to give you pleasure and not vice-versa, but at the same time I understand that y’all have developed a relationship in which you value her feelings and needs as well (and most men also find the idea of making a sexy woman orgasm to be satisfying in itself). So I have a few questions for you. First, is penetration the only thing that makes her climax? Because if she can also come from clitoral simulation (oral, masturbation or vibrator), you could certainly give her a couple of orgasms that way and then proceed to take care of your own needs. Second, what do you mean by “too soon”? A lot of men labor under the misapprehension that all women want to be pounded for a very long time; you mention 10-15 minutes, which believe me is a very long time. Though there are certainly some women who want to be penetrated for that long, most women prefer an extended stretch of kissing, touching, oral sex and other foreplay (a term which isn’t really correct because it casts penetration as the “main event”, which it doesn’t have to be), followed by maybe 5 minutes or so of penetration. So unless your lady has expressed disappointment at your “coming too quickly”, her vocal urging may be intended to get you to fuck harder and faster for a shorter time. I know that long, slow fucking sessions exasperate the hell out of me; in my teen years I once snapped at a guy, “Are you going to actually fuck me or just fuck around?” (It was a bad strategy because the poor guy lost his erection right there & couldn’t get it up again). It may not be easy for you, but you might try asking her outright if she’d prefer a shorter but more vigorous pounding followed by a quick orgasm on your part, or a longer, more languid session such as you’ve been doing. Her answer may surprise you. Third, you haven’t mentioned your age or refractory period; if you don’t take an exceptionally long time to recover, the answer might be as simple as starting your sessions by going at it very hard and coming quickly, then enjoying an extended period of touching, kissing, etc until you become erect again, followed by another bout of fucking (most guys take a lot longer the second time). If you’re past 40 that second erection may take a while, in which case it might be better for both of you to book longer sessions in which you have more time to recover.
In any case, I think it’s very important that you include her in the discussion rather than attempting to fix it all by yourself (you can show her this letter if you like). Good communication is essential for good sex, and it would be a rare sex worker who was offended by a client telling her clearly and without criticism what he wants, and asking her clearly what she wants. We have to be good at such communication to do our jobs, but we aren’t mind readers; I think it far more likely that she’ll be relieved than offended when you bring up the subject.
[It’s traumatic for escorts to end up] face to face with a [cop] who wants to know your name and question you and detain you until he can establish that you’re not a victim of whatever exploitation that he’s imagining you’re a victim of. – Sandra Wesley
…a recent study on unprotected sex…had some sobering results: Of the 1000 Americans surveyed, 65.5 percent said they had unprotected sex—and 29.1 percent of those people said they had unprotected sex every single time…68.4 percent never ask their partners if they’ve been tested before [barebacking] with them…many [supposed adults]…said they were daunted by the idea of asking a partner to fetch one in the heat of the moment…One friend told me she was too insecure to ask for anything when she first started having sex…”I couldn’t imagine messing it up by asking them to wear a condom because then they might not think I was sexy or cool anymore”…
To me, the first part – in which the author actually admits she planned to have sex with a penniless liar she didn’t know who didn’t even have a bed of his own, much less any cash to give her – reads like a dispatch from an alien world.
“I call myself a legal courtesan,” says Allissa…She works at Sheri’s Ranch…in Pahrump, Nevada…A “hooker,” she says, is “someone that’s being managed by a pimp [just like Allissa is], is on the street, is making money any way they can.” By contrast, she says, she’s a [pimped] professional. “Everything we do is legal…Condoms are mandatory [and pimp-enforced]. We have strict rules [set by pimps] to abide by. And we also pay taxes”…
So in Allissa’s tiny mind, a “courtesan” is a hooker whose pimp has a LICENSE, so it’s different. One wonders what she thinks (and I use the term loosely) about independents like me. Another highlights of the article: vile excuse for a human being Dennis Hof, who claims to be a libertarian, praising Donald Trump.
People with disabilities still face social stigma and isolation when it comes to intimacy…EASE Canada founder Dave Symington [said] “It’s the hidden disabilities that seem to be more troubling in society…People…really struggle with mental health issues”…Symington has heard again and again how interacting with a sex worker…completely changes their capability for creating and maintaining intimate relationships…Some countries have already taken the step toward covering sex work for those with disabilities. People in the Netherlands…can use their disability benefits however they like, including purchasing sex…
…South Carolina police agencies raked in $4.3 million through federal forfeitures in the 2015 budget year, and slightly more the year before that. Every year in Spartanburg County, the Sheriff’s Office organizes a week-long [shakedown racket] on Interstates 26 and 85 involving multiple local and federal agencies. They call it “Rolling Thunder”…[this year the thugs] pulled over 1,110 motorists — the majority of whom were black or Hispanic — mostly for infractions such as making improper lane changes or following too closely…[and] searched 158 vehicles, including large tour buses…[they stole over] $139,320 in cash…State laws typically set a higher burden than the federal government for seizing assets…But police can still tap into the federal forfeiture rules…Less than 4 miles of I-95 runs through the small…town [of Ridgeland, but]…that little stretch of interstate has been a [porcine] cash machine. Ridgeland’s population is only about 5,000, “if you count the prison”…but police there have [stolen] more than $6 million…since 2002…
…For 13 years, we at SWAN…have been supporting migrant and immigrant women who do sex work in Metro Vancouver…Despite the preponderance of ads advertising sexual services of 20-somethings, the average age of the women we support is 40. Over the past few years, there has been a war against online classified-ad websites such as Backpage that carry sex workers’ ads. While this war started in the United States, it has crept across the border to Canada…But one perspective is consistently missing: that of the sex worker exercising agency and using the Internet as a safety tool…The Protection of Communities and Exploited Persons Act introduced in 2014 criminalized third-party advertisers like Backpage, although few charges have been laid to date. Shortly after the law came into force, many websites imposed stricter posting criteria for adult-oriented ads, banning the use of sexual terminology. This prevents sex workers from clearly communicating in their ads what services they provide…The ban on advertising violates sex workers’ rights to personal security and freedom of expression. Canada does not need legislation that inhibits communication between sex workers and their clients and impedes sex workers from working independently indoors…
…U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions told a gathering of more than 1,500 federal, state, and local [pigs]…that he was…”mak[ing] the fight against child exploitation and human trafficking a top priority”…Sessions warned of the dangers of…encrypted-communication platforms, social-networking sites, and “the so-called Darknet.” These, he declared, are the tools of such “depraved people” as “child pornographers, sextortionists, and human traffickers”…Even the aggressively neutral Politicocouldn’t avoid making drug war comparisons, describing the video as “hearkening back to the D.A.R.E era” with its “hyperbolic language”…The idea that every American child is just one smartphone app away from being snatched into sex slavery is absurd…But it does make a nice narrative if you want to wage war on pesky encrypted technologies that thwart [cops]…or to get everyone from flight attendants to truck drivers telling federal agents about anyone “suspicious”…
So far this year, federal lawmakers have introduced more than 30 bills related to “sex trafficking,” which many in government now define to mean all prostitution…following the familiar pattern of the drug war, these measures mostly focus on giving federal law enforcement more “tools” to find, prosecute, and punish people for [consensual] actions…One…would expand state and local government authority “to seek wiretap warrants in sexual exploitation and prostitution cases” (emphasis mine) and mandate the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and National Institute of Justice conduct a “study on the long-term physical and psychological effects of the commercial sex trade”…law enforcement across the land…[would be required to] target prostitution customers [under the pretense that purchasing sex]…”is a form of gender-based violence,” opening the way for possible hate-crime enhancements for anyone who tries to pay for sex…
[The] Ocean City…[Maryland] Town Council…prohibited women appearing topless on the beach during an emergency session…The newly refined ordinance states “there is no constitutional right for an individual to appear in public…in a state of nudity”. The…unanimously passed…ordinance took effect immediately, clarifying that anyone showing “the female breast with less than a fully opaque covering,” would be…subject to a fine of up to $1,000. Ocean City Mayor Richard Meehan said the emergency ordinance was a response to “hundreds of calls and emails from residents and visitors, expressing their concerns over this issue…Each year, thousands of families visit our beach to relax in an atmosphere free of this type of activity”…A town spokesperson [imagined] that the ordinance would have no bearing on breastfeeding…
Schwesta Ewa, a Polish-born musician whose [legal] name is Ewa Müller, allegedly “compelled” four fans, aged 17 to 19, to [do sex work]…between November 2015 and September 2016…Prosecutors [claim] Müller did not tell tax authorities about profits she made from the fans, and that she forced them into the work through violence. Müller…worked as a prostitute before she was famous. Her lyrics often tell stories about life in the sex trade, including being attacked by clients…Müller opened a bar in Frankfurt, but complained in January 2016 that police had raided it…
Another rescue industry character claiming to have been a “sex trafficker”. It’s an exhaustingly-long masturbatory fantasy for the “sex trafficking” set, full of “pimps”, misstated laws, “gangs”, 30 inhuman clients a night, Pretty Woman idiocy, etc, etc, leading up to this: “Mary knew that deep inside she and her girls were suffering and lost. Amid the stream of [extremely high income]…the women battled drug addictions, alcoholism and ever-creeping levels of self-loathing and emptiness“…until a new friend “offered to study the Bible with Mary” and Jesus saved her. Does anyone who isn’t already a Christian actually believe this pap?
…The Service Droid (now a crowdfunding project on Indiegogo) started life as a personal project by Arlan Robotics…the company claim to have created…an incredibly realistic droid that when assembled looks, smells, feels and moves like a real human…
During the celebration of the 300th anniversary of St. Petersburg in May 2003, the police raided brothels…[and] booked fake appointments with sex workers…They…drove the street-based sex workers 200 km away from the center and left them there….[as] part of…operations to “clean” the city for the celebration. Raids against sex workers are carried out on a daily basis in Russia. On the eve of some important events…the police intensify raids…The Russian ‘foreign agent’ law, introduced in 2012, puts [the sex worker rights group] Silver Rose under the constant threat of prohibition. The law authorises the Ministry of Justice to register independent groups as “foreign agents” without their consent…if the ministry regards the organisations as engaged in “political activity”…NGOs [so designated] are sometimes raided by state officials…
There seems to be no hard evidence that Montreal’s Grand Prix is more of a prostitution-and-human-trafficking hotbed than other big events…an anti-prostitution group [claims] anecdotal evidence indicates demand for paid sex soars with the influx of Formula One fans…[prohibitionist] Diane Matte [lies]…“We also know from women we meet…that during…any…big sports event…women are solicited more, they are told [by imaginary pimps] to work longer hours to answer the needs of men who buy sex”…[but] Chez Stella, which runs a drop-in centre and medical clinic for sex workers, has launched a social-media campaign to denounce Grand Prix “disinformation campaigns” by governments and prostitution [prohib]itionists…Police…place fake ads on online classified sites…That makes clients reluctant to negotiate details before meeting…Afraid of police, some workers don’t provide services during the Grand Prix, “so they’re desperate for money the rest of the month and may take on clients they wouldn’t otherwise take on; they might deviate from normal safety measures and face more violence”…[Sandra] Wesley [of Chez Stella] said…“those men are at the race track during the day. At night, they’re at parties with lots of women willing to have sex for free. So where would they be seeing all these sex workers?”…
For five years, the city of Seattle has touted its [faddish] approach in [persecuting] the buyers of sex rather than the prostitutes themselves. While the number of cases filed against prostitutes dropped dramatically in 2012 and 2013, it has increased again slightly in recent years…City Attorney Pete Holmes…said the increase in prostitution cases in 2014 through 2016 came after his office realized many women were not [submitting to] the [brainwashing] program called LEAD, or Law Enforcement Assisted Diversion…Holmes said he therefore pivoted to use the real possibility of prosecution, as a way of encouraging people to take advantage of LEAD instead…
“Pivoted” is such a banal way to say “lied with prohibitionist propaganda while threatening women with violence for peacefully earning a living”.
…When I began sex work there were aspects that were exhilarating. Being my own boss and setting my own schedule was something I’d never had the luxury of. My manager at the bar, who knew she could shop me for benefit fraud at any moment, didn’t care when men…threatened to follow me home because I didn’t want their numbers…I worked 12 hour shifts, with no breaks, and at the end she would hand me an envelope with barely £70 in…escorting [clients] sometimes reminded me of the pub customers…[but] at the end of a three hour booking I would tuck a few hundred pounds in the lining of my handbag, and go home to a bath and some posh beers…This isn’t to say sex work was a utopia where I could take six months off when my health was bad…However, contrary to popular view…it is not a one way ticket to a breakdown. The difference between us and workers in other industries is that when we seek help we are asked to look at the ways we’ve kept ourselves out of poverty as shameful…
A “normal family man” who cared for his sick wife…in Edinburgh has been jailed for 29 months. Emil Wakulicz…recruited women from Poland to offer sexual services…Sheriff Ross said he had no other alternative but to send Wakulicz to prison as he had exploited the women who had worked for him. Det Insp Arron Clinkscales…[bragged]: “We…[locked] this man [up]…and [stole] his assets.”
Naturally, the story lists no evidence whatsoever of “exploitation”. I’m sure his wife will be much better off on the dole, and her depression will improve while her husband sits in a cage for two years. Justice!
…Winston-Salem police…arrested…John Richard Hernandez and…Amanda Dawn Moser in connection to the armed robbery of a 67-year-old man…the pair lured [the victim]…to Hernandez’s home…by posting [a fake escort] ad…on…backpage.com…Hernandez [hit him with a hammer and] and robbed [him] of his money, ATM card and vehicle…a [pig too chickenshit to give his name bloviated a whole pile of ignorant nonsense]…“when it does happen in homes, those are usually offenders that have been caught multiple times at the hotel, and now they’ve moved their modus operandi to a residential home…Many of those, obviously, are minors that are…easily manipulated – into performing sexual acts for someone that’s controlling them…We located needles, various drug paraphernalia, spoons, that are indicative of heroin use”…The department also works with different counseling services and the health department to help victims of human trafficking…“It is a criminal act,” the [cowardly, ignorant pig oinked]…
Prohibition forces a peaceful activity into the shadows, where criminals then use it as a cover because they know their victims are less likely to report. Then cops use the result of criminalization as an excuse for more criminalization while mixing in rhetoric that contradicts the entire “whore as criminal” trope. I know basic logic & a triple-digit IQ aren’t requirements for being a brutal thug mindlessly enforcing arbitrary rules via violence, but this is like watching a self important pig masturbating until he shoots into his own eye, then tripping over the pants around his ankles & falling flat on his face.
…Maybe you’ve taken the position that everyone you have sex with has to know beforehand, because the last time you told someone you were already in love with, he hit you. Maybe you’re coming out, as a political statement, trying to erode the delusion that someone doesn’t know “any girls like that” by being one of those girls. Maybe you have to tell your lover because you keep having cold sweat anxiety dreams about it. Maybe living the nightmare won’t be as scary as having the same one every night. Maybe you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, and you think you can trust them. Or maybe you know you can’t, but you just can’t stand them saying one more dumb thing about “whores” without knowing. Or maybe you’re scared, and you want your partner’s support…
My personal way of dealing with this: I haven’t been romantically involved with anyone who isn’t a whore or client since 1995. But I understand that won’t work for everybody.
[The Republic of Ireland] is to repeal a law which made it a criminal offence for a person with an intellectual disability to have a sexual relationship…The [new] law will consider whether a person with an intellectual disability has capacity to consent…rather than just outlawing such relationships because they have a disability…a new category of “protected person” has been created. This will be defined as someone who lacks the capacity to consent to a sexual act by reason of a mental or intellectual disability, or a mental illness…It will now be illegal for a person to have a sexual relationship with a protected person…
We’re going to shake things up, aren’t we? And by “shake things up” I mean you’re going to sit on my face…I need a signal for you to give me some air that isn’t me throwing you off me in a panic…My eye is basically in her butt…is this how all adults get pink eye?…I have no choice but to make her orgasm…I can’t even see anymore. It’s just pitch black and vibrations, like an earthquake in a cave.
[Deceitful busybodies] in Tennessee have determined that a building registered as a church was being operated as a sex club…the city of Nashville has filed a complaint against the owners for “maintaining a public nuisance by permitting acts of lewd conduct” and violating a state law banning sex clubs from operating within 1,000 feet of a school. The longtime downtown swingers club…in 2015…relocated to a run-down office park…calling itself a church because the new location is near the back of the private Goodpasture Christian School. Two [voyeurs] paid $40 to enter the facility…and filed [porn narratives] detailing sex acts they witnessed within…
A sex offender…thought he had moved on with his life after successfully completing five years of probation for sending webcam photographs of his genitals to a [pervert cop pretending to be]…a 13-year-old girl. Now he’s among hundreds of people in Missouri who are learning they must attach GPS monitoring systems to their ankles for life, even though such a requirement wasn’t part of their sentencing agreement…The retroactive [punishment is] part of a revised state criminal code that went into effect Jan. 1…several sex offenders…are suing…the state…“I don’t think a lawyer can make a straight-faced argument that it’s constitutional,” said…attorney Matt Fry…
…Matt McMullen, the chief executive of Abyss Creations, which makes RealDoll…says…”Many people who may buy a RealDoll because it is sexually capable come to realise it is much more than a sex toy…It has a presence in their house and they imagine a personality for her. AI gives people the tools to create that personality.” This is done via an app, which can be used with the doll or independently, existing as a virtual person on a smartphone or similar device. Users can choose from a variety of personality options, including moody, angry and loving…The app…is already available to buy, although only directly from the Realbotix website…Neither Google’s nor Apple’s official stores will carry it because of the explicit content. The doll will go on sale later this year and there will be two versions – one with computer vision that enables it to recognise faces, which will cost $10,000…and a…version without vision for $5,000…
Bonus: sociopathic prude Kathleen Richardson of the “Campaign Against Sex Robots” has apparently decided in the past two months that “dolls aren’t really the problem”. Why does anyone take prohibitionists seriously?
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