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Posts Tagged ‘sex toys’

I’m gonna blow y’all up.  –  Roxanna Copeland

Most people are mentioning Grease, but I liked her early stuff much better, and always thought it was a career mistake for her to go from “I Honestly Love You” to “Let’s Get Physical”.  The links above the video were provided by Elizabeth N. Brown, Mike Siegel, Tim Cushing, Radley BalkoPopehat, Walter Olson, and Cop Crisis, in that order.

From the Archives

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We’d never put her away in a cupboard.  –  Char Grey

One of the all-time great movie villains has died, just a few days short of his 81st birthday; I thought a retrospective of his work was in order, but this is just a small sample.  The links above the video were provided by Franklin Harris, Mike Siegel (x2), Jesse Walker, Mirriam Zary, and Cop Crisis (x2).

From the Archives

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I can’t breathe.  – Genivaldo de Jesus Santos

This song is here for the sole reason that it started going through my head last week.  The links above the video were provided by Cop Crisis, Mike Siegel, Radley Balko, Kevin Wilson, Popehat, and Amy Alkon, in that order.

From the Archives

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This is going to be fun.  –  Ronni Carrocia

Sharing an earworm doesn’t actually cure it, but on some level it makes it more bearable.  The links above this particular earworm were provided by Cop Crisis, David Ley, Clarissa, Cop Crisis again, C.J. Ciaramella, and Elizabeth N. Brown, in that order.

From the Archives

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It’s coming…it’s coming soon.  –  Rodolfo

This seasonal video is kinda brilliant on several levels.  It was provided by Walter Olson, and the links above it by Tim Cushing, Missy Mariposa, Mike Siegel, Clarissa, David Ley, The Onion, and Mike Peters, in that order.

From the Archives

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Phil Harvey…was a sex-positive activist before we used that term.  –  Carol Queen

R.I.P. Phil Harvey

Phil Harvey, the founder of…adult entertainment giant Adam & Eve and a longtime fighter of censorship, died on [December 2nd] at…[the age of] 83…As a student at UNC-Chapel Hill’s School of Global Public Health in the 1960s, Harvey first began what would become Adam & Eve as part of his graduate thesis focused on the distribution of contraception…Before enrolling at UNC, Harvey spent five years in India working for the nonprofit CARE International, helping feed hungry children.  The experience made him an advocate for expanding birth control availability.  Though it was illegal at the time to sell contraception and other “obscene” items via the post…the mail-order company became a success, [especially] after it [expanded to selling sex toys and then, in the 1980s, adult video].  And…a portion of all…purchases w[ent] to…DKT International, a nonprofit that increased the availability of contraception and conducted educational campaigns around family planning and HIV/AIDS prevention.  By 2004, Harvey w[as] putting around $2 million per year…into DKT…helping distribute some 348 million condoms to countries in Africa, Asia and Latin America…over the years Harvey…donated some $50 million total of his Adam & Eve profits to his family-planning work…

Surplus Women (#544) 

Almost 30 years before he was caught, then another 61/2 before he was tried:

The trial [of] a [typical and representative] Pasco [Washington cop] is [finally] set to begin…in Spokane [for the] 1986 [rape and] murder of a [sex worker named Ruby Doss]…Richard J. Aguirre…was charged [again in] September [2020] with premeditated first-degree murder…charges [wer]e…brought against Aguirre…in 2015…[but] in December 2017, the case was [quietly] dropped…while [Aguirre got to remain at large as a menace to other sex workers]…

To Molest and Rape

Another sexual predator specifically targeted a vulnerable woman:

A New Mexico [cop]…rap[ed] a [woman after accusing her of] drunk driving…Leon Martin…[implied]…he would shoot her or add extra charges…if she didn’t comply…he…[also infected her with] chlamydia…Martin admitted to [rap]ing…the woman…but [claimed] she [wanted it] and…[euphemized aggravated rape as] a lapse in judgment…Martin…had [previously stalked] her on Facebook after…[he first met her when she reported a domestic violence incident]…

A Broker in Pillage (#1091)

I hope the Institute for Justice has already contacted her:

Dallas [cops robbed]…$106,829.00, from a 25-year-old [woman from]…Chicago [at Dallas’ Love Field Airport]…Legally, there is no limit on the amount of cash a traveler can carry on domestic flights, but forfeiture allows [cops] to s[teal] any amount [as long as] they [belch out the magic word “]suspicious[” first]…Texas [cop shops]…have a “strong incentive” to s[teal] property, as they are entitled to a significant percentage of the [take].  In fact, IJ is currently suing Harris County, which encompasses Houston, over its application of the state’s asset forfeiture law…

Devil’s Advocate (#1114) 

The absurdity becomes more obvious when we substitute “toaster” for “sex doll”:

The Supreme Court [of South Korea has] ruled…imports of child[-shaped toasters] should be banned, because they could lead to the perception of children as [foodstuffs] and increase the danger of potential [cannibalism] against minors.  The ruling overturned lower courts’ decisions that imports of child[-shaped toasters] should be allowed, like those of [other novelty toasters].  In 2019, the top court allowed imports of [toasters] on grounds that they are [appliances] used in private [kitchens], an area in which the state should not interfere…

The Punitive Mindset (#1146) 

“Drugs” are a popular pretext for petty vindictiveness in US prisons:

A Massachusetts judge has ordered the state prison system to stop using drug field tests with well-known reliability issues after incarcerated people and their lawyers…were [repeatedly] falsely accused of smuggling drugs for exchanging legitimate legal mail…Justice Catalyst Law and the law firm BraunHagey & Borden, filed a class action lawsuit [demonstrat]ing that the state Department of [Torturing Caged Humans] uses NARK II test kits to [generate pretexts to torture people specifically because]…those tests have an error rate so high that they’re akin to “witchcraft, phrenology or simply picking a number out of a hat”…Judge Brian Davis issued a preliminary injunction enjoining the [DOTCH] from punishing inmates based solely on the results of…NARK II field tests…[saying] the tests were…”only marginally better than a coin-flip”…

To Molest and Rape (#1181)

Notice how often predatory cops’ victims are underage?

A [typical and representative Alabama cop] has pleaded guilty to more than two dozen child porn charges.  Phillip Humphries…was…sentenced…to 10 years, with [only] one year to serve in [a jail diversion program, then]…probation for three…[plus condemnation to the] sex offender [registry.  The judge’s leniency was probably mostly due to Humphries’ copishness, but may also have something to do with]…his recent leg amputation…

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Less than two years ago I broke up the “Pyrrhic Victory” tag by repurposing two existing tags and creating a new one, “Panopticon“.  But surveillance has become such an all-pervasive phenomenon in the 21st century, it even creeps into tags that originally had nothing to do with it.  One of these is “Between the Ears“, which originally grew from a column about how not to handle women’s sexual problems; once sex gadgets started connecting to the internet, though, it was inevitable they’d start spying on people, and that has expanded far beyond sex gadgets.  So I’m starting this new tag, under which items about internet-connected devices surreptitiously eavesdropping on people’s private conversations will be listed in the future; references back to “Between the Ears” #545, 674, 722, 791, 858, 959, 966, 984, 986, and 1152 will also be listed under this tag from now on, as will references back to I Spy (#1069) and #1144.  Items about other kinds of surveillance will continue to be filed under “Guinea Pigs“, “I Spy“, “Micromanagement“, “Panopticon“, “Pyrrhic Victory“, and “Welcome to the Future“, as before.

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To what extent the prosecution will twist the law to its ends remains to be seen.  –  Stephen Lemons

Whore Madonnas (#808)

More from Juniper Fitzgerald:

…my children’s book, How Mamas Love Their Babies…is the only children’s book– to my knowledge– to include a sex-working mother: “Some mamas dance all night long in special shoes. It’s hard work!”…You would never suspect that such a modest inclusion of sex workers in a picture book about how parents provide for their children by any means necessary would provoke the bowels of the internet so profoundly.  Claims that I—along with Hilary Clinton, mind you—am sex-trafficking my own child grace my timeline even three years after publication.  My inbox still tells me that I am a literal witch and devil worshipper—whatever the fuck that means.  Or, my favorite, that I am “communist whore filth.”  It’s easy to dismiss Q-anon and #PizzaGate believers as a handful of rabid, marginal cultists.  But these…exist on the same continuum with wine-sipping white ladies who think sex workers are a threat to their children…

The Punitive Mindset (#880) 

“Drugs” are a popular pretext for petty vindictiveness in US prisons:

Billy Steffey…is a former federal inmate…still trying to fight the BOP for stripping him of good behavior credits and throwing him in solitary confinement for five months based on…an unverified [drug] test with a well-established track record of leading to wrongful arrests…[such] tests…[a]re not admissible…in court; and the manufacturers explicitly warn that all tests should be sent to crime labs to be verified…Yet the federal Bureau of Prisons relies solely on such tests to pu[nish prisoners]…and strip them of…rights…with virtually no avenue for recourse…The issues with these tests have been known for decades and are easily verifiable…In December [2017] a [screw] opened a package…legal…papers [that he claimed] felt “unusually thick” and gritty and looked discolored…many…prisons have…bann[ed] physical mail and used book donations…[under the pretext that] they…are [used]…to…s[muggle] drugs…[screws] tested the…papers…[and claimed they saw evidence of] amphetamines…[then] linked the package to Steffey after [rooting in his] email…threw him in…solitary…for five months…and…stripped him of 41 days of “good time” credit…

A Moral Cancer (#1000)

Because obviously prohibition doesn’t ruin enough lives yet:

[Oregon governor] Kate Brown…[approved] a bill banning the online sale of nicotine-containing vaping products to state residents…despite convincing evidence that limiting access to e-cigarettes drives users, especially young people, to traditional cigarettes that pose greater health risks…as politicians eternally pretend to not understand, banning things doesn’t mean that people give up on them.  Instead, it drives them to legal substitutes that may pose different or greater risks, or else to black market suppliers who offer products of unknown quality and safety.  [When] San Francisco banned the sale of flavored tobacco products in 2018…92 percent of [users] continued their habits after the ban…[but] high school students’ odds of smoking conventional cigarettes doubled…The conclusion that prodding youthful users from vaping to cigarettes is a bad idea is not [even] controversial…

Micromanagement (#1012)

This would be better news if judges didn’t simply rubber-stamp cops’ warrant requests:

Maryland and Montana have become the first states to pass laws…requir[ing] police to have court authorization…[and] probable cause…[Maryland further requires that] the crime being probed must be a murder, a rape, a felony sexual offense, or a “criminal act involving circumstances presenting a substantial and ongoing threat to public safety or national security”…AncestryDNA and 23andMe both prohibit such investigations using an ordinary user profile.  But other companies, such as FamilyTreeDNA and GEDMatch…allow police to [root in] their databases…[at will]…

Devil’s Advocate (#1114) 

Your periodic reminder that a child-shaped toaster is still a toaster:

[Creepy weirdos] assigned to the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation’s [Sympathetic Magic] Unit have arrested and charged a…man accused of possessing child[-shaped toasters]…in October 2020, [intrusive and unconstitutional surveillance revealed] that William Crowder…ordered a child[-shaped toaster] to be shipped to his home.  TBI agents subsequently [roo]ted…at Crowder’s residence and found at least six [toasters (it’s difficult to be sure because Tennessee cops can’t count that high)], several of them dressed in children’s clothing…Crowder [was charged] with six counts of [making toast in a way that upsets redneck busybodies]…

Stalkers in Blue (#1138)

Another cop demonstrating exactly what he is:

Minnesota State [pig] Albert Kuehne sat in his [pigmobile] in March 2020 and [rooted] through a phone belonging to a 25-year-old woman he’d just…[accused] of drunken driving…he [had no permission to even touch the phone, but] clicked through her photos [anyway].  Hours later, the woman’s boyfriend noticed something alarming on her MacBook, which was synced to her phone:  Outgoing text…messages to an unknown phone number with nude and partly clothed pictures of the woman attached.  When they called that unfamiliar number, Kuehne answered…Kuehne…[has finally] admitted that he sent himself three explicit photos of the woman, and then deleted the outgoing messages on the woman’s phone to try to cover his tracks.  Kuehne pleaded guilty…to a misdemeanor…

Dangerous Speech (#1138)

US “authorities” keep pretending “because sex” is an excuse for any tyranny:

During a June 7 status conference…in the Lacey/Larkin case, Assistant U.S. Attorney Kevin Rapp…objected to the phrase “escort services” in a survey question about whether jurors had “strong feelings” concerning…the “legal adult entertainment industry”…Rapp [claimed] that the phrase is “a misnomer” for “prostitution services…[that] suggests that escort services [are] somewhat legal”…Whitney Bernstein, an attorney for Jim Larkin, [correctly responded] that escort services are…legal…in…many…states…[Judge] Brnovich…overruled Rapp, allowing the question to remain…

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I will not be intimidated [by a flying dildo].  –  Manuel Gonzales

I must admit I like the ooga-chaka version better, but it was B.J. Thomas who passed away recently, not anyone from Blue Swede.  The links above the video were provided by Jesse Walker (x2), Billy Binion, Cop Crisis (x2), Scott Greenfield, and Tim Cushing, in that order.

From the Archives

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I have often expressed how disappointed I am that the cultural reaction of Americans to The Hite Report and other ’70s studies & surveys of female sexuality was for most women to become (sexually) more like men, in other words for their sexuality to become less about the experience and more about the relentless pursuit of orgasm.  And it’s only become worse since the ’80s; virtually nobody (and yes, women are often just as bad as men) is willing to accept any more that some of us simply aren’t very orgasmic, and that whatever new “technique” or “toy” or “process” they want to try isn’t going to make any difference.  My anorgasmia is only partly due to a recessed clitoris; the rest is due to my neuroatypicality in general and my cognitive hyperactivity in particular.  And though most people recognize that I’m really quite intelligent and have had many, many thousands of hours of practice over the last 40 years, they still refuse to grok that I already figured out long, long ago (by the mid-’80s) what will produce orgasm on a semi-regular basis, “but will probably never act on [those things] again because they either come with too much baggage or it’s much too difficult to find the right person or persons to do them with.”  Though this is considered heresy in “sex-positive” circles, I simply don’t think it’s important enough to invest my time, effort, and money in toys, books, classes, Gwyneth Paltrow gimmicks, or silly cults in a fruitless effort to pursue an experience my body and nervous system seem disinclined to undergo.

If you’ve never seen a woman write about this before, it’s probably because most women who feel as I do are afraid to admit it.  They’re afraid of being considered defective, freakish, or simply not good enough, and not only by entities who reside outside of their own skulls.  But most anorgasmic women don’t write about sex; most women writing about sex haven’t been sex workers for their entire adult lives; and most of the sex workers who both feel as I do and write about sex (probably already a rather small group) are too concerned with commercial viability to admit that no, they really can’t orgasm 17 times from some dude’s fumbling around with their genitalia, and they’re really not thinking about sex as often as their clients do.  But for me, the best thing about paid sex is, I get the reward I want regardless of whether my wiring decides to respond in a way that will feed my partner’s ego.  And sex work gave me the confidence not to be ashamed to say that I don’t give a shit if I don’t orgasm.  But I understand that I’m unusual in many respects, so I was very pleasantly surprised to see this stunningly-honest article in The Atlantic:

I am a 39-year-old woman, and I have never, to my knowledge, had an orgasm…I love sex, and I’m probably on the kinky side—there’s very little that I haven’t tried.  But no matter how much I am enjoying myself, there inevitably comes a time, both on my own and with a partner, when the physical pleasure, having built and built, either fades to nothing or becomes a sensation too uncomfortable to bear, and provides neither the rapture nor release I have imagined…In the early days of [my] relationship [with my future ex-husband], I made…an appointment with a sex therapist, therein getting a glimpse of the growing and highly lucrative female-orgasm industry.  A plump, elderly woman…advised me to eat more dark chocolate, stop taking birth control, and sign up for what she called “orgasm camp,” an immersive experience …that would have me masturbating all day long.  She also sent me home with some female-centric 1980s porn, a list of recommended herbs and vitamins, and a prescription for Viagra that the pharmacist, alarmed by my gender, initially refused to fill.  For months I dutifully followed her advice…but…eventually, exhausted and even a little bit bored by the effort, I once again resigned myself to my anorgasmic fate…

…In her 2018 book, Faking It, the sex educator Lux Alptraum denounces a culture in which, for many men, the female orgasm has become “the primary, if not entire, purpose for pursuing sex—a sentiment that suggests that anyone who isn’t able, or doesn’t want, to achieve orgasm is some kind of freak or failure.”  Alptraum lays no small amount of blame for this on She Comes First, a wildly popular cunnilingus manual by the sex therapist Ian Kerner, which…established a new paradigm in which the female orgasm, once seen as mythic, was recast as compulsory…

…I finally embraced the obvious solution: I started faking it…sex therapists…think that faking it breeds guilt and resentment…but the truth is that, for me, faking it was instantly empowering, even revelatory.  Overnight, the emphasis shifted from what I lacked to what I offered…faking it threw into relief my sexuality; for the first time since my divorce, maybe for the first time ever, men began to see me as I saw myself, and as I knew myself to be, which is to say, no less carnal than the next person, and perhaps even more so…

There’s a great deal more, and I think it’s especially worth reading if you’re anorgasmic yourself, or if you would like to understand why some women aren’t interested in catering to your emotional need to give them orgasms.  I myself have written in defense of faking orgasms on several occasions, and I’m in agreement with author Katharine Smyth about faking being a legitimate strategy to reclaim one’s sexuality from the tyranny of others’ selfishness disguised as generosity.  There’s quite a bit more after the part I’ve quoted, in which Smyth tries all sorts of other things for which I lack the patience, the credulity and the dedication; I must also point out that when I was her age, I had already been doing sex work on and off for 21 years and full-time escorting for 6.  But even so, I hope that by the time she’s my age she either finds what she’s looking for, or learns to stop caring about it.

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