The Honest Courtesan

As I explained recently, I’ve been cooking for those I love for most of my adult life, so cooking just for myself can seem like a chore.  And that’s even more true when it comes to desserts; it seems almost silly to bake a cake or pie or cookies if I’m the only one who’s going to be eating them.  But since I do like my little treat with my tea and show while unwinding in the hours before bed, it’s either make them myself or buy them from a store, which is far more disagreeable to me than making them.  And besides, I can’t let all that fruit growing on my property go to waste.  So I’ve started to get into the habit of baking on Sundays; when I go into town for groceries on Monday or Tuesday I bring some of the pie or cake or cookies for Chekhov and Yellowbird, and then I have enough for one piece myself each night for most of the week.  Last week I got off-schedule and made an apple pie on Wednesday, which meant by Sunday afternoon there were only two slices left; that inspired me to make more crust and simply walk out back for a few more apples to create another pie.  I’ve also discovered that making several smaller batches of salsa or whatever seems less daunting than one big batch, so that’s how I’m doing it now.  Changing the habits of a lifetime can be difficult, but when one’s circumstances change it’s also necessary.  And though it’s probably harder for me than it would be for someone less OCD than I am, I feel like I’m doing OK.  And once I settle into the new routines, perhaps I won’t feel Grace’s absence quite so keenly.