Archive for August 27th, 2011

When anything goes, it’s women who lose.  –  Camille Paglia

I’m sure most of you have noticed that all over the internet and even in the real world, feminists are bemoaning the fact that most young women nowadays don’t identify as feminists.  Some of them disingenuously blubber “but feminists are only people who think men and women should be equal!” thus completely ignoring the excesses committed in the name of “feminism” by the neofeminists and those who let them take control of the feminist movement three decades ago.  Others simper about “ingratitude” and puff themselves up about all the “victories” won by second-wave feminism, ignoring that A) as Thaddeus Russell points out, most of the important rights were won by whores, not feminists; B) other important rights (like woman suffrage) were won by first-wave feminists now long dead; C) the widespread employment of women throughout the early 20th century (and especially in the Second World War) had already started an inexorable process of increasing equality of which second-wave feminism was more a symptom than a cause; and D) those rights which were indeed won by second-wave feminists are overshadowed by the damage they’ve done to gender relations in the Western world and especially in the United States.  And then there are the neofeminists, shrieking about how all men are evil oppressors and sex is a tool of the Patriarchy; is it any wonder young girls who like men and enjoy life want to distance themselves as much as possible from these harpies?

It was inevitable that any philosophy whose entire rationale is dedicated to ignoring biology (and at its worst, driving a wedge between the sexes) would eventually fade away and die; Mother Nature will have Her way, and those who ignore Her do so at their own peril.  But feminism isn’t gone yet, and the word is still a politically correct one even if the tenets attached to it are losing popularity, so we’re now seeing all sorts of ideas grouped together under the umbrella of “third wave feminism”, which collectively understands that there is such a thing as biology, that men and women are different, and that there is no single “correct” way for women to behave (which is the movement’s single greatest break from orthodox first- and second-wave feminism).  So it’s not at all surprising to me to see a woman who clearly rejects “social construction of gender”, and advocates that young women reclaim our gender’s natural role as sexual gatekeepers, still wanting to call herself a feminist.  Her name is Toni Nagy, the article in question appeared in Huffington Post on August 10th, and while some of her phraseology is odd (by “dry humping” she seems to mean snogging and petting rather than literal dry humping) and she hits a few sour notes (such as using “whore” as a synonym for “slut” and failing to recognize the role actual whores play in mopping up the male sexual overflow), her general premise is sound and archeofeminist:

How many people’s mouths would you stick your finger in?  A lot.  I would stick my finger in a lot of people’s mouths.  But how many people would you let stick their finger in your mouth?  Not as many!  There is a biological difference between the way women and men experience sex, and each gender should view and treat sex in its own way.  I think women need a velvet rope and a self-important doorman for their vaginas, monitoring who gets access.  If you’re not on the list, you are not coming inside.  I am not suggesting a return to an archaic repression of female sexuality, expecting women to be virgins even after they have given birth.  The double standard of the male stud and female slut is not only outdated, but also makes no sense.  Who are all these guys sleeping with if no one is supposed to put out?  Most likely any self-possessed woman is going to spend at least one period of her life on a whore tour and still have the t-shirt to match.  Discovering different sides of your sexual self is often achieved through multiple partners, and I think sampling the variety is part of the human experience.  But after you have indulged your inner whore, there comes a time to embrace your inner prude as well.

… The more you orgasm, the more oxytocin is released in your brain, which is the “bonding hormone.”  Most likely, you will feel physically and physiologically attached to that guy whose penis was inside you.  Go figure.  Even if you think you don’t “want anything serious” you probably still wonder, question, ponder “where is this all going?”  Of course, not all sex has to be about relationships, but denying the connection between emotions and sex is ignoring the complexity…That is why I am an advocate for dry humping.  It honors the involvedness of sex, giving you time to actually sort out how you both feel about each other, but still leaves something to build up to.  And the likelihood of you feeling like crap because a guy you wiggled around with never called is less than if he actually penetrated your panties.  But if you are both attracted to each other, the dry humping session will only make you more so.

This is the thing about attraction.  Because of birth control, be it medicinal or condoms, women have the freedom to sleep with men they would never procreate with.  But the majority of studies indicate that baby making potential is the main facilitator of lust.  From smell indicating a compatible immune system and gene pool for breeding, to pheromones, to symmetry, to signs of fertility.  We are pushed by our animal instincts towards making more humans…Yet if you audition people with the dry hump, your restraint will not only benefit you, but your fellow female sisters as well.  By being a little prude, you are helping the male species remember that being inside a woman’s body is actually a really big deal…Going home with someone who bought you a beer is hardly worth letting them inside your body.  The harder a guy has to work to get into your pants, the better he will treat the girl wearing them.  I don’t think I have ever regretted waiting to sleep with someone, but I sure as shingles have regretted sleeping with someone too soon.

Anyone who’s ever done sex work and talked to other girls or paid attention on hooker boards knows the truth of Nagy’s last point:  as an older girl told me when I first started, “the less they pay, the more they want.”  As I’ve discussed before, I would sometimes deal a little if the client was polite and claimed not to have $300, but the lower I went the less appreciative the client, and my standing advice for working girls is NEVER to charge less than $200 for any block of time, no matter how short; anything less than that is too close to free for most men to appreciate.  My amateur sisters can learn from this; even though you don’t charge a set fee, you need to set some “price” (length of relationship, certain conditions being met, etc) and stick to it if you want the men you sleep with to actually appreciate you.

One Year Ago Today

Marilyn” is the story of one of the first girls who worked for me, whom I still think about frequently…and rarely without tears.

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