It’s my custom to send courtesy copies of an article in which someone is mentioned prominently to that person (unless he’s a celebrity, public official or prohibitionist) so he can alert me to any mistakes or additional information prior to publication. Well, when I sent Tuesday’s column to Norma Jean Almodovar, she replied with an essay she had written and wanted to publish as soon as possible, but had no specific venue in mind. I offered to publish it here if she liked, and she accepted; I am therefore honored to present my very first guest columnist, veteran sex worker rights activist Norma Jean Almodovar, author of Cop To Call Girl, founder and president of the International Sex Worker Foundation for Art, Culture and Education and executive director of the Los Angeles chapter of COYOTE . For those of you who just can’t go a day without reading some of my own writing, I point you to my column of one year ago today, “BDSM (Part Two)” . Now without further ado, I turn this space over to Norma Jean.
Just as they did a year ago with Craigslist, a bunch of politically grandstanding States Attorneys General- cheered on by an overbearing, vociferous gaggle of anti- prostitution zealots and their sycophants from the far left and the far right- got together and wrote a letter to the owners of Backpage.com, demanding that the adult ads on their classified website be shut down “to stop sex trafficking.” Despite the fact that they don’t have a constitutional leg to stand on, these blowhards decided they must force the closure of the adult ads section in this and any other online adult ad classified advertising site.
Although there are numerous other sites which cater solely to the adult crowd seeking other adults for adult activity, such as RentBoy- where virulently anti- gay Christian Psychologist Reverend George Rekers found his young stud travel companion on a trip to Italy- and countless other similar sites, it does not appear that these Attorneys General have much interest in pursuing those sites because many are for gay commercial sex and it is not politically correct to prosecute gays for the same ‘crimes’ they prosecute heterosexual adults. Governments and religious institutions throughout history have attempted to eradicate what many call a scourge (but many others like me feel it is the best job we ever had), but none have been successful even when the punishment faced by those who violate the law is death. So what motivates these particular politicians to attempt to “eliminate” all prostitution at whatever cost?
There are a number of studies which support the premise that the more vocal one is in denouncing another’s ‘immoral’ activities and demanding that they cease, the more likely it is that such a loudmouth is engaged in the very activity that he/she condemns. It is a cliché that sanctimonious politicians pontificate on the importance of family values while having extra-marital affairs, buying the services of a prostitute (underage and adult) or sending text messages to persons who are not their spouses; the vehemently anti-gay politicians and preachers who secretly engage in homosexual relationships. When it is a female politician, look for her husband to be a client of prostitutes, like U.S. Senator Debbie Stabenow (D. Michigan).
Considering the enormous pressure being exerted on Backpage -and Craigslist a year ago- if one were cynical, one might think that those who are the most vocal in their demands to shut down adult ads because of the possibility that those ads are for prostitution- are being blackmailed or extorted by those abolitionists. Consider that Eliot Spitzer, who, as New York’s State Attorney General, passionately denounced the evils of prostitution as he vigorously enforced laws against prostitution by day and paid for his ‘sex slaves’ by night… in some cases going out of state and violating the Mann Act, a federal crime called ‘sex trafficking’. Spitzer rose to governorship on the back of political reform and cleaning up corruption. According to many sources, his was a ‘scorched earth’ policy when it came to prosecuting white collar crimes. One target of his wrath were ‘prostitution rings’ against which he had publicly vented with “revulsion and anger announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a select prostitution ring” in 2004. He dispatched his brand of justice in short order and sent them to prison. In hindsight one could speculate that his show of revulsion and anger came not from a sense of moral repugnance at the thought of paid sex professionals but that the ‘select prostitution ring’ he targeted had perhaps been too selective and refused his business in the past? Or did he feel a sense of pride at being able to prosecute the competition of those who did provide him with their sexual services?
Or perhaps the abolitionists knew of Spitzer’s indiscretions and used that information to extort him to be aggressive in prosecuting others who engaged in buying or selling sex? There is no doubt in my mind that if he had not been caught with his pants down, he would be joining the other politicians in their strident crusade to shut down adult ads. So it is not unreasonable to suggest that perhaps some or many of the signers of this letter are in a similar position. History – both distant and recent- suggests that this may be the case…
In July 2011, a high ranking Albuquerque Criminal Judge, Pat Murdoch, was arrested for raping a prostitute. It was not the first time he had hired a sex worker, because the prostitute he hired admitted to previous engagements with the judge. And surely the police were aware of his activities with prostitutes, which may explain why, in 2009, he was so lenient toward an Albuquerque Police Officer -David Maes– who was also charged with raping a prostitute. Thoughtfully, after Maes plead ‘no contest’ to the charges, District Court Judge Pat Murdoch said “sending him to prison would be a harsh sentence for an ex-cop” and gave him 5 years probation. After Judge Murdoch was charged with raping a prostitute, he resigned, and most likely none of his colleague judges will impose a prison sentence on him, knowing that when and if they ever get caught doing the same thing, they will want leniency from the judges who oversee their cases.
Judges like Federal Judge Jack Camp… or Judge Michael Hecht... or Edward Nottingham, the chief federal judge in Denver, Colorado. Despite the fact that an ordinary citizen charged with violating the same laws that Reagan appointee Judge Jack Camp did would have been sentenced to multiple years- perhaps decades- in prison, Judge Camp was allowed to retire at full pension, sentenced to 30 days in prison and 400 hours of community service. He served 15 days.
Back to the States Attorneys General- are they pursuing this because they are being extorted by the prohibitionists or because they really believe that shutting down adult ads is going to somehow stop human trafficking? Surely they are not that naïve, are they? Having been lawyers before they became prosecutors, they know exactly how things work and that prostitution was around long before the internet and will be around long after the internet shuts the sex workers out (or moves them to other websites).
They feign concern for the sexual exploitation of underage persons through the use of adult ads, commenting that “More than 50 cases of trafficking or attempted trafficking of minors on Backpage.com have been filed in 22 states in the past three years…” But none of them mention that in 2011 alone, more than 100 cases of pedophile and child porn possessing police/ district attorneys/ judges were brought to court... NONE of those cases involved Backpage or Craigslist or any other classified website offering adult ads – just a bunch of perverted cops, judges, FBI agents etc. who had access to these young people because they are persons in authority whom no one suspects of diddling their children. These numbers do not include the teachers, preachers, priests, boy scout leaders, Hollywood producers and other persons who are trusted by the community and who do not find their victims on Backpage. The US Government reports that 90% of the cases of child sexual exploitation are at the hands of someone the child knows, like the above cops, teachers, etc. and 68% of the cases of child sexual abuse are at the hands of a family member. So if, as the prohibitionists and their misinformed spokespeople suggest, there are between ‘100,000 to 300,000’ children trafficked into the sex trade every year, and if that represents only ten percent of the victims of child sexual exploitation from strangers, then the number of those sexually exploited by an acquaintance or family member must be in the millions per year. As I mentioned earlier, however, the US Government’s own report says that these hundreds of thousands of human trafficking (which includes adults and those trafficked into many other areas of labor) can’t be found, with all the millions of dollars that they spend and all the government funded agencies looking for them.
Tragically, as many cases as there are of the victims mentioned above, there is an even greater number of underage persons who are subjected to rape and sexual exploitation by persons in authority, and the government is quite aware of it and yet does little to prevent it. In fact, those juveniles are deliberately put in harms’ way at the insistence of the rabid prohibitions who claim they are ‘saving their lives.’ No doubt when the media reports that the FBI or other government agencies have ‘rescued’ dozens of ‘victims of child sexual trafficking’ during a sting operation (and arrest hundreds of adult prostitutes in the process), the general public envisions a militaristic style raid much like our armed forces conduct when they storm into an occupied country and free the enslaved citizens, who then jubilantly rally around our heroic soldiers with cries of gratitude. Unfortunately nothing could be further from the truth for the underage victims of sex trafficking. What the media and the government do not tell you is that ‘rescued’ means ‘arrested.’
When the cops and the feds – and for that matter, government agents anywhere in the world- conduct a ‘rescue’ raid, all persons of any age who are suspected of being prostitutes or of being ‘victims of sex trafficking’ are rounded up and herded into custody. Handcuffed. Chained to each other. Put into jail cells. Strip-searched. Treated like vicious criminals. And that is as it should be, according to some wonderful Christian ladies of the Georgia Eagle Forum, or as I like to call their national group- the “Spread Eagle Forum.” Women like Sue Ella Deadwyler, publisher of Georgia Insight, who stated – in opposition to the Republican Georgia state senator Renee Unterman who introduced a bill that would steer girls under the age of 16 into diversionary programs instead of arresting them as prostitutes – “Arrest is a valuable life-saving tool that must be used. We need to hire more cops to arrest the prostitutes.” She said that she believes that arrest is a better deterrent than a proposal for rehabilitation — no matter the age. “Sure there are those who are forced into prostitution, but I think most of them volunteer,” Deadwyler said of under 16-year-old prostitutes. “Many, many children have been scared straight because of arrest.” Of course.
One of her colleagues argues, “We cannot repeal the prostitution law for children, because that law acts as a very real barrier that protects children from sexual predators that would, otherwise, feel free to lure them into prostitution….Have we forgotten that correction oftentimes turns a life around?”
They aren’t the only ones who believe that arresting victims is actually good for them. Newser Staff writer Evann Gastaldo, wrote in her March 4th, 2011 article: “Why We Must Arrest Child Prostitutes: IT MAY SOUND CRUEL, BUT IT COULD BE THE ONLY THING THAT SAVES THEM. Says she “Decriminalizing child prostitution (and not arresting them) means effectively ‘removing the only safe and secure protection these vulnerable children have from the pimps—being arrested and placed under the protective custody of law enforcement.’” And after one major ‘rescue’ of such victims, the Director of the FBI, Robert Mueller, stated “We may not be able to return their innocence but we can remove them from this cycle of abuse and violence.”
Umm, I wonder if either he or those nice Christian ladies or the States Attorneys General who are demanding the shutdown of adult ads on Backpage.com have read the US Government Justice Department’s own report on what happens to those children (and adult prostitutes) who are ‘placed under the protective custody of law enforcement…’- the report entitled “Sexual Victimization in Juvenile Facilities Reported by Youth, 2008-09”?
As the May 5th, 2011 issue of the Economist states, “Sexual abuse in prison is distressingly common: the Justice Department estimated that more than 217,000 prisoners, including at least 17,000 juveniles, were raped or sexually abused in America in 2008. A total of 12% of juvenile detainees… surveyed between 2008 and 2009 reported being forced into sex. And that is the number of people, not incidents; most victims are abused more than once. More inmates reported being abused by staff than by other inmates.” So we arrest the victims and put them in jail where they are raped by those who are supposedly protecting them from sexual predators... like themselves. And this of course will ‘turn their lives around’… actually it probably will; if this doesn’t mess up their heads and screw up their lives forever. After the well-meaning Christian ladies and legislators tell them that it is for their own good to experience the trauma of being arrested and going to jail where they are raped by government agents in whose custody they are supposed to be safe, well, they would have to have an extremely strong character to survive the ‘rescue’ envisioned by these moral zealots.
To be concluded tomorrow.
Ms. Almodovar, thank you for your bravery in writing “Cop to Call Girl” and publicly exposing the extreme corruption of the Los Angeles Police Department. I grew up partly in Los Angeles and LAPD cops have personally harassed me when I was not breaking any laws.
I would rather be a teenage prostitute on the street, than be arrested and go to jail and have a criminal record. Those who advocate arresting underage prostitutes and subjecting them to “rehabilitation” do not give a damn about young prostitutes’ well being. “Jail is good for you” is a shameless lie.
The truth of the behaviour of these “Arrest Advocate ‘Christian’ Women” is abundantly transparent.
The alpha female will use any means neccessary to put down her sexual competition as brutally as possible. Her totally instinctive manipulative rage against the “strike-breaker” females that undermine her sexual stranglehold on the alpha male is both compulsive and utterly self-serving.
The alpha male cooperates with this because it means that his control over a pool of breeding females increases, and so his social leverage in the male hierarchy increases, too.
Utterly Pathetic, if not downright evil.
An independent prostitute, making her choice, and excercising consent (undeniably) and in business for herself is MADE a criminal, locked up, subjected to rape, given sex offender registry status, and is basically forced at that point to be a sex worker for good. These authorities apply “asset forfeiture” to her rightful property to, in effect, steal her property.
The State, under the guise of “rescuing” her from a pimp *she never even had* engages in behaviour that makes her having an evil pimp look like a brilliant idea, compared to the brutal treatment that the State has now subjected her to.
There’s a word for that sort of Actor.
Evil.
1 example of the corruption of some (not all) in the LAPD was the “Wonderland Murders” case. The corruption went up high in LAPD and the 2 detectives on the case were constantly frustrated because of it. 1 of them has stated that him and others in LAPD had been trying to arrest the person who ordered the murders for at least 20 years before the murders. This person was well known for paying off the corrupt 1’s in LAPD and was involved in many other crimes before the Wonderland case. These 2 detetives and the prosecutor in the murder case have never quit speaking out on all this and did all they could to get justice done in the case. If it weren’t for them this case would have ended up worse than it did. This case is also proof that there are good people within LAPD who have exposed corruption.
Dear Norma Jean, I want to thank you along with Marla for exposing the corruption. I’m wondering if you’re a Marilyn Monroe fan? You share Marilyn’s real name (minus 1 “e”).
Speaking of Eagle Forum, their founder, Phyllis Schafly, is part of a very secretive group called the “Council for National Policy”. This group was founded by Tim LaHaye (1 of the co-authors of the false teaching-filled “Left Behind” book series) and has been funded and has ties to Rev. Sun Myung Moon (head of what are known as the “Moonies”). This group doesn’t let in ANY press (the only known press people that have gotten footage of a meeting are from 1 alternative news show and that show has on many regularly who belong to the CNP. What a coincedence…eyeroll) and won’t put out any information about their meetings. I’ve heard Schafly lie on a radio program saying the CNP is just a “social group”. This contradicts the information that’s come out about the group that they groom politicians (Dubya is 1 example) to influence society and are for a 1 world government while in PUBLIC they speak against it. They also are for the ###*** “dominionism” heresy (also known as “kingdom now”). There’s some alternative news hosts that have exposed this group (thank God!) and have resolved to keep doing so. Her CNP connection alone makes me want to have nothing to do with Schafly. What I’ve learned about Eagle Forum also confirms my decision. Thanks for listening.
Phyllis Schlafly’s Eagle Forum states that they want a laws against adultery. I have no doubt that if they get their way, their next step will be to demand laws against premarital sex. Phyllis Schlafly and the Eagle Forum want the law to arrest ANYONE who has sex outside of marriage. Schlafly is a true sexual fascist.
It’s sad to think that the made-for-TV movie Born Innocent, for all its controversy, is actually a cleaned-up version of reality. If it’s traumatic for children (teenagers, for the most part) to sell sex, I doubt it’ll be any less traumatic to have sex taken from them by force.
I’ve always considered the faux compassion expressed by xtian activists for the ‘victims of prostitution’ to be particularly egregious. Let’s see, we have a homeless teenager, possibly with psychological problems, definitely with financial problems doing something she probably finds distasteful in order to survive and what do we recommend? Oh yeah, let’s add a criminal record to that list of “challenges.” Yep, that’ll sure help ‘er find ‘er way to a mainstream productive life. You could remove half my brain and I’d still know that “jailing them to help them out” is a really stupid idea.
I find it hard to believe that this is accidental or merely stupid. I think they operate with the same kind of ideological blinders that lead to larger atrocities like persecuting Jews and blacks or where you suddenly turn on and kill your neighbors of 30 years because they happen to be Croats or Serbs or what have you.
Jesus Christ said to the crowd who were about to stone a prostitute to death, “He who is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone.” Christianity is opposed to punishing prostitutes. These “Christian” activists are nothing but fascists hiding behind a false pretense of Christianity. Persecution or genocide of anyone is an inherently un-Christian act. Not all of those who call themselves Christian really are – even if they really believe they are.
That’s an important distinction that I wish more people recognized. It reminds me of a humorous prayer: “Jesus, save me from those who do evil in your name.”
It’s also 1 of the reasons I started posting here: to fight and expose the constant negativity, lies, blanket statements and stereotypes about Christians. I’m so sick of this ###*** being literally everywhere I could scream my head off 24 hours a day. I fight it on every message board, blog, etc., I belong to. Jesus, St. Paul and St. Peter (and others) predicted that Christianity would be infiltrated QUICKLY and that there would be the fake believers all through history. Satan’s done his job well (yes, I’m convinced there’s a Satan and also demons constantly doing Satan’s ###***) and never lets up. Although the # of reformers in Christianity has been small, they’re another example of what good small groups can do. These reformers are so needed and have given many freedom from false teaching, etc. (Martin Luther is 1 example of this). There’s reformers now speaking out tirelessly against the ###*** heresies that are popular (dominionism, use God as your personal genie to get money and material things also known as “name it and claim it” and others) and they’re the 1’s who preserve and fight for what the Bible truly teaches. They get evil persecution all the time but I love how they won’t stop their work for anything.
Then why did god create satan?
Satan chose to be the way he wanted to. He wanted to be ###***, a self-pitying, totally egotistical, totally selfish, bitter, revenge-taker who wants as many as possible to self-destruct with him and his demons. Satan chose this way. He was given free will along with all the angels. If God just wanted robot slaves, He wouldn’t have given all the angels plus all humans the gift of free will.
This reminds me of an episode of The Simpsons and Homer quotes the verse to the Flanders. Then Todd Flanders hits him with a stone and shouts, “Got ‘im, Dad!” Those casting the stone truly are real life Todd Flanderses.
Yes, the “woman caught in adultery” account is a wonderful 1 that breaks at least 1 popular lie and that 1 is that Christians are still to follow the Old Testament Law completely. With this act Jesus broke that teaching as under Old Testament Law the woman would have gotten the death penalty. It does say in the Old and New Testaments that Christians aren’t to have any part of prostitution themselves. But, as you say there’s not a word in the New Testament about we should arrest whores, kill them, etc. 1 thing I love about Christianity is that believers will have to account for their own sins and no one elses. I love that fairness. 1 thing I’ve learned over the years is you can get a good idea of who’s a real believer or not: look at their words and actions. Do they match up? Are they making progress and becoming better people over time? Do they do things to help others truly in need? Do they have more spiritual understanding over time? Do they acknowledge their faults and work on them and have perfection as their goal? Do they work to resolve the struggles they have with certain sins and also acknowledge when they don’t live the way they should? While we can’t read minds and hearts you can get a good idea of if a person is “real” or not in their beliefs by their actions/words. Thanks for listening.
2 things
1there are numerous accounts of men visiting and employing whores in the old testement
2 jesus,for all his breaking of old testement law also said it wasnt to be disobeyed,or even debated
I already answered you on #2 a while back.
There’s a good take on this story in Isaac Asimov’s The Caves of Steel. The exchange is between a human detective and a robot.
Please know there are Christian activists who really do what they’re supposed to and have no part in ordering anyone around. They also do these things because they LOVE TO DO THEM and don’t have horrible ulterior motives that those who think the worst about them love to project on them constantly. These people help the poor, counsel new converts, give whatever $ they can to help the poor, help the unemployed find jobs, visit the lonely people in nursing homes, visit the homeless and I could name many other things. These people need more recognition because 1 of the popular things in the WONDERFUL (being sarcastic here) world system is to never say anything good about any group, etc.
Haven’t been replying much because I was off having great fun at a lesbian festival.
At 14, I was working night shift as a cashier in a convenience store. Dangerous work, that.
At 16, I was working as a waitress, serving booze. (I had a good fake ID.)
I didn’t notice any “Christians” lining up to rescue me.
At both jobs I made minimum wage. (Actually, below that waiting tables, but made tips.)
At 19, I was stripping, and then doing porn. I was making good money, was safer than at my previous jobs, and enjoying it more. But now all of a sudden, I was a social problem?
If a 15 year old is hooking, there’s a reason. Many gay and lesbian kids get thrown of out the house by their “Christian” parents, and have to make their own way on the street. There’s little help for them, so they do what they need to to survive. I feel sorry for them, but respect their ability to survive.
I don’t hear many so-called “Christians” worrying about why the kids need to hook in the first place.
Also, a string of prostitution arrests can keep one out of some professional licensing, and make it tougher to find “straight” jobs. I’ve been there with that.
I don’t think most of these people give a damn about the kids.
Dear comixchik, if you don’t mind my asking, did you want to and/or need to be rescued? I’m not sure of your history (if you posted it and I don’t remember it, I apologize) so am wondering about this.
I was raised in the UK, by my grandparents until my grandmother died suddenly. I rejoined my mother and her new husband at 13. Up until then, I’d had a fairly sheltered , typical British middle class upbringing. I was very straight laced. Then I was plunged into a sort of polar opposite, in a strange country (USA). From 13 on I basically raised myself. I worked to buy most of what I needed.
There were times I suppose that I wanted to be rescued- Not from the sex industry, but from the straight jobs. One one hand, I was told I was lucky by my peers- I could do pretty much as I pleased. On the other hand, sometimes being on my own like that was a bit much. I didn’t go totally off the path I think thanks to my first thirteen years. I grew up fast. By 16 I was living on my own, and pretty much functioning as an adult. I did have a social worker assigned to my case in my early teens, but their only option for “rescue” would have been removing me from my family and locking me up in juvenile, although I had done nothing wrong. (Odd thing, they never thought of returning me to my grandfather. I suppose it was the international bit.)
I have to say, I felt much safer in the sex industry than in previous jobs. The strip club had a bouncer. The convenience store did not. Now I got started in porn back before AIDS was well known, or much thought of. I was lucky, there. But it was work I found I was good at, and comfortable with. Would I have been so at 16? Probably not.
Later on, I did escort work. Again, I felt fairly safe. I didn’t work the streets. So no, I don’t recall ever wanting to be rescued.
Now, I’m in a “normal” job, forced to retire from the sex business due to arthritis and age. But all I learned as an escort had been a wonderful benefit. I know how to size up situations quickly, judge risks, and improvise.My history, while unusual, has been a great benefit.
Now I know my experience hasn’t been everyone’s. I met women who were ill suited to porn or hooking, and I’ve seen tragedies. But then, there are flame-outs in every field.
That’s about the best answer I can give.
Comixchik, THANK YOU for telling the story of your childhood and adolescence and how you became a sex worker, because your story illustrates that people who may have gone into sex work as a result of a difficult, troubled early life, can still benefit from and enjoy sex work.
Melissa Farley, an anti-prostitution activist, said, “..Ashley Dupre, who was bought by Governor Spitzer. Dupre ran away from what she called an abusive home at seventeen. She’d been homeless, she had a drug problem, a convicted New York pimp bragged that he turned her out, and at seventeen pornography was made of her by a man who had a prostitution conviction.” [Note: the “pimp” was the owner of an escort service for consenting adults, and the “pornography” was as topless shot in a Girls Gone Wild video.]
Melissa Farley’s implication is that because Ashley Dupre’s early life was troubled, therefore her entry into sex work could not possibly have been a free choice, and could not possibly have been good for her. Thank you for disproving that.
http://www.lastdaysministries.org/Group/Group.aspx?ID=1000023903 -Here’s an example of a Christian ministry helping homeless kids. There’s more than this 1. Yes, I know it’s in Mexico, but help is needed everywhere. It was started in 1980 and 1 of the founders (Melody Green) and her late husband (the great singer Keith Green) were taking people needing help into their home for years before this (in the US). People do the best they can with the time and resources they have. What if no one ever did anything?
We need to remember that “the do-gooders”* aren’t always hypocrites. Some of the people who go on TV or write in magazines about “hundreds of thousands of trafficked children” actually believe it. They do what they do because they are horrified at the thought of all those kids being raped over and over again. If I believed it, I’d speak out against it, and I’m sure most or all of you would too… IF you believed it.
Now, they would be a bit less horrified if they’d do the simple math even I can manage and thus realize that those numbers are ridiculous, and their proposed solutions help neither the vast majority of prostitutes who are NOT trafficked child sex slaves, nor the very small number who are.
But I think that sometimes we’re too quick to assume that everybody is an evil phoney, when sometimes they’re just wrong.
* It does bother me, this use of “do-gooder” as a synonym for an interfering busybody who’s probably a fake and who ends up doing no good. The implication is that anybody who claims to be good, or who is trying to do good, is deluded at best and just plain evil at worst. The larger implication is that none of us should try to do good, or we’ll be bad.
But really, is doing good so bad? Maggie and Norma Jean are do-gooders, as they are both doing good. Anybody who ever gave a dollar to hunger relief is a do-gooder, and so is anybody who responds to news of a disaster by giving blood. The world needs more do-godders, but do-gooders who make the effort to sure that what they are doing is actually good.
It’s more complicated than that; many if not most do-gooders probably do really want to do good. The problem isn’t that they’re fake, it’s that they’re narcissistic. The majority of do-gooders are convinced that theirs is the only true path, and that everyone who denies it is ignorant, stupid or delusional. They therefore believe that they have the right to FORCE their assistance on others “for their own good” in the same way you or I might force a small child to go to bed on time despite his protests that he isn’t sleepy.
To really do good requires not merely good intentions but respect for the personal autonomy of those one wishes to help; the adage tells us that “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”; the dangerous do-gooders are willing to sedate the horse and hydrate him via nasogastric tubing, while the rare true do-gooders realize that it is the horse’s right to refuse water, even if that refusal kills him.
In my experience with activism/support, the # of those who literally order people around is very tiny. I’ve run into a little of this online and have really gotten onto the 1’s doing it and in 1 case it lead to 1 of them accusing me of making threats (and other ###***) to the point where I had to threaten legal action. This person backed off right after that (thank God). What had happened is a person on a message board who knew a murderer wanted to contact the surviving family members/friends of the murder victim in the case. This person was viciously attacked in writing and literally screamed at to not contact these people. The person wanting to make contact didn’t have a ghoulish interest, but good motives instead. I said it was horrible to literally order this person around, etc., and we have to let people be free to contact each other, etc. Also said I thought the whole thing could be seen as in bad taste, but it was technically the business of the people involved and not the business of the people online who didn’t know them personally, etc. I wasn’t popular for this, believe me! 1 of the things I do on purpose when giving advice that’s asked for is to always say “whatever choice you make I wish you the best”. Sailor B and I talked about this issue yesterday and I’m with him on how tired we are of people (especially celebrities) who talk about their causes being trashed and having the worst ASS-umed about them right off. Would it be better if these celebrities didn’t give a single $ to any cause? What would then happen to the people in need? Things are bad enough already, unfortunately, and imagine how much worse they’d be if no one ever did anything. The truth is there’s at least a few celebrities who really do put their money where their mouth is and if anyone wants me to post links about them I’d be glad to. I’m not talking about just the human trafficking issue-am talking about many issues. I did an Internet search and found a lot of Christian groups that really do take in homeless kids. I posted the link to 1 earlier in this thread. The 1’s I found there wasn’t a word on their websites about turning in anyone for arrest, etc. 1 of them they were literally begging for volunteers on the website saying they’re overwhelmed with the # of people needing help compared to what they CAN offer. I think these groups that WANT the kids arrested are horrible. But, there’s also at least a few who don’t want that and they need to be brought up more. The Christian parents who don’t throw out their LGBT kids need to be brought up more also. There’s a bunch of them. The 1’s who do throw their kids out are also going against what the Bible says and I say ###*** them. I like the ask those who complain about no one’s doing any good with a certain issue, they’re all in it for ego and ordering people around, etc., what are YOU doing about this issue? Thanks for listening.
It’s “I like TO ask” not “I like the ask”…sorry. It’s early!
Laura, laws are force. Anyone who advocates laws to enforce their ideas about “good” outcomes (arresting drug users and prostitutes, mandatory seat belt use, banning medicines some people need to live normally, etc) is advocating that others be forced to live in their idea of the “right” way. The reason you haven’t seen much of this is because the area of activism you have experienced simply doesn’t lend itself to this; most other areas (the campaigns against alcohol and smoking, for instance) are FULL of such people.
Hi Maggie,
I’m reminded of CS Lewis’s warning that it may be “better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. …[T]hose who torment us for our own good, will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.”
And in relation to those who think that laws are, de facto moral, there’s H.L. Mencken.
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
A Little Book in C major (1916)
Mencken on Norma Jean’s and your points about the trafficking hysteria.
Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.
In Defense of Women (1918)
And in an homage to you and your kind…
The most dangerous [wo]man to any government is the [wo]man who is able to think things out for [her]self, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos.
The Smart Set (1919)
It probably won’t surprise you to hear that I’ve used the Lewis quote and one of the Mencken quotes as epigrams on past columns. 😉
Thanks Maggie,
I’d not seen those posts before. The Sara Kruzan case really is a tragedy.
There was a little bit of good news in the Kruzan case later (last paragraph).
I agree that far too many do-gooders (or would-be de-gooders) want to force their version of goodness on others. Your example of sending a child to bed is a good one, because most will agree that children have to have adults making decisions for them about what is and isn’t good for them. That’s why when politics and money get a hold of a cause, we start hearing that it’s “for the children.” The idea that it’s OK to force goodness on children bleeds over into the idea that it’s OK to force goodness on adults for children. This is also where the fakes come in, and of course they make things worse.
You and I might disagree about the relative numbers of each kind. Just as such do-badders tend to be underrepresented in Laura’s area of activism, they tend to be overrepresented in yours. Your area of activism draws these people like children to ice cream. But word is getting out, and you’re not fighting in vain. The US might be the last big, industrialized nation to give in to reality, but it will happen.
Dear Sailor B, THANK YOU! You beat me to posting this (you know we talked about this yesterday). Another thing that needs to be pointed out is many give $ and help in other ways anonymously. Those who do that sure aren’t looking for attention! There’s also people who help and use their names when helping, but outside of that are very discreet and don’t tell anyone else what they did, etc. This also shows they’re not in it for attention and/or ego. Also many people who truly do good have a lot of other things in their lives to deal with. Many work full-time jobs, have kids, might be caretakers for sick family members, etc. But, they DO WHAT THEY CAN. Even if all they give is $5 a month, that helps, or if they spend a few minutes a day helping that counts also. Do too many who don’t help do nothing but complain? YES! 1 of my “favorite” groups that do this are the 1’s who scream about murderers getting parole but when you ask them what they’re doing the answer is nothing but complaining. They also don’t want any prisons near them and don’t want a cent of their tax dollars going to any new prisons. The reality of the situation is that 1 big reason murderers get parole to begin with is prison overcrowding. These people also don’t want to hear about how useless, etc., the “Drug War” is and how it’s another big reason the prisons are too full of non-violent offenders which also leads to murderers getting parole. But, there’s also many who really DO put their money where their mouth is with this issue and others. Thanks for listening.