Every person knows that he should do what unites, not divides, him and other people. – Leo Tolstoy
In the ‘60s, prostitutes and homosexuals were in the roughly the same place legally; both of us were treated as criminals for our private sexual behavior. Socially and psychologically, though, we had it better than they did: while prostitutes were recognized as essentially normal and sane, homosexuals were considered abnormal and mentally ill. Both groups started to fight for their civil rights about the same time, but while queers have won theirs whores have actually lost ground since then; most people now consider homosexuals sane and more or less normal, while the official position in many countries (especially the United States and several Scandinavian countries) is that whores are abnormal and mentally ill. How did this sorry turn of events come to pass, especially since exclusive homosexuals make up less than 5% of the population while a similar fraction of women have prostituted themselves at least occasionally, and 69% of men have paid for sex at least once?
The answer is simple: gay men and lesbians, two groups with almost nothing in common, banded together to defeat laws and policies which criminalized and marginalized them, but whores have instead allowed other women to undermine us by implementing policies which deny us agency and treat us like retarded children. In other words, gay rights leaders built a coalition of a number of very small groups, while women – over half the human race – allowed our energies to be divided by giving a “bully pulpit” to a twisted minority faction whose members hate men, sex and their own femininity, and wish to destroy every aspect of traditional male-female social relations…including one of the oldest forms, prostitution. And while the gay rights coalition just keeps growing (from “gay and lesbian” to “GLBT” to “GLBTQ” to whatever alphabet soup it is now), we divide our already-divided energies even further by wasting them in foolish infighting or spending them on gay rights efforts despite the fact that few of them help us in turn, and some of them even work against us! Fortunately, now that they’ve won their place at the “big table”, some few gay rights activists seem to be recognizing the shamefulness of this attitude:
…What is it that so disturbs us about sex workers? And do we even have a right to that judgment? Specifically, does a member of a marginalized community have the right to condemn another marginalized community? Do they still have that right if they are sitting on a bar stool watching hard bodied go go boys?…maybe it is not sex work we despise, but the public display of same. If that is the case, then what of cruising, and the hyper speed electronic cruising created by various phone apps? Maybe that is okay, and sex work is not, for financial reasons? If the working girls and guys of the world were out there giving freebies would we be okay with it? At that point it is just anonymous sex, and since nobody seems to be looking for a husband on Grindr, I presume we are mostly okay with that…
…The hard fast truth is a majority of sex workers are in the profession completely on a voluntary basis, and for many, it has more to do with the freedom the job offers than any financial consideration. This is the denied voice—the words not spoken when we attempt to co-opt the sex professions for our own advocacy needs. We will not help anyone by demeaning them, and as much as we may wish to rationalize otherwise, we are really just trying to forward our own agendas at the expense of others. Further, people generally make the mistake of assuming sex work is not a legitimate occupation, and so must be looked at differently. Are there sex workers who took the job because there were no others available to them? Because it meets their financial needs better than any other? Who suffer from the choice because they hate the job? Of course, but I know carpenters that would fit that description just as well. Is anyone advocating on their behalf?…How is sex work different?
But, you say, sex work is against the law. Okay, point taken. I can not argue against current illegality of sex work. But I can make the case for tolerance. For starters, the lynch mob, police crack down attitude is useless. Interesting that police are meeting with neighborhood residents to address a large uptick in prostitution, when there is not one. It is not as though a whole bunch of locals decided to turn tricks and all showed up on one block. No, they moved, to escape the last neighborhood crackdown. Sex work is not something you eliminate, just something you pawn off on the neighbor…
…we start by dropping our middle class puritanical objections and learn to accept that sex workers are humans and deserve basic rights and dignity just like everyone. We also learn to accept that they too have the right to self determination, and assure that efforts to help them are never confused with efforts to save them. We further recognize that this is a part of our community, as there are many LGBTIQ identified sex workers…We need to be, dare I say it, tolerant and accepting.
I’m disgusted to hear that some members of the queer community actually argue against prostitution on the grounds that it’s against the law, when male homosexual activity was illegal in most states within the lifetimes of most of these middle-class, puritanical homos, and only became legal in some states in 2003. The existence of evil laws is not a valid argument against whatever it is those laws ban, and it certainly isn’t an excuse for ignoring the rights of those who break those laws; homosexuals of all people should understand this, and it’s sad that some pretend not to. Though the people who have abandoned queerness (with all the word entails) for respectability may object to my borrowing their former slogan, I say to them: “We’re here, we’re whores, get used to it!”
One Year Ago Today
“License To Rape” is a power many cops grant themselves over whores…and some cops grant themselves over all women.
missouri just passed very tough restrictions on strip clubs. I know this is off topic but what do they mean by “secondary negitive things ” about the clubs?
They mean crimes and social ills that they in their minds associate with the clubs, which they use as a justification for trying to shut them down. It’s basically the same as banning liquor to prevent public drunkenness, DUI and hangovers.
It worked out well in the 1920’s…
thanks for reply.(i happen to live in Mo) I must say i have been reading your blog for about 6 months and have learned so much. I look forward to reading it everyday, or so. Your a breath of freah air.
You’re welcome, Sam. 🙂
I wonder if it’s simply that there are so many high-profile gays and lesbians (in politics and show business) who were (and are) able to set the agenda for the way they are treated?
I’m sure that helped once their activities weren’t illegal in California, but when the “gay rights” movement started they couldn’t be “out” any more than we can.
So how many modern celebrities are there who’ve come out about being prostitutes? I’m not talking about prostitutes who are out because they got busted and famous because they were prostitutes (not that there’s anything wrong with that) nor about porn start, but rather people who are famous for non-sex-work reasons. The only one who comes to mind is Rosanne Barr…which is not exactly helpful. And she may have been making it up.
I’ve heard rumors about some celebrities, but I think they stay in the closet because they don’t want the stigma of prostitution damaging their current careers.
But – why aren’t people like Jeanette Maier speaking out? She ran a brothel that seems to have catered to more than a few Louisiana politicians – namely David Vitter – who she said was a nice guy that her girls really liked. Well her career in “entertainment” is done – I don’t understand why someone like here wouldn’t get up on a soapbox at this point.
>…The hard fast truth is a majority of sex workers are in the profession completely on a voluntary basis, and for many, it has more to do with the freedom the job offers than any financial consideration.
Oh so true. And how I miss that freedom.
It’s certainly true that at least in my experience, lesbians aren’t always sex worker friendly. At least, the ones I dated weren’t. One liked the fact that I got her out of debt, and had a loose enough schedule that I could usually manage to be there when her daughter needed me, but treated my career like a disease. “You’re never to mention what you do for a living in front of daughter. Don’t ever bring any of those people you work with around the house, or around my friends. I don’t want to see what you’ve been doing, don’t ever bring any of those videos here.”
Another, I decided to tell her one the third date. By then, I was doing as much hooking as porn work. Her response? “That’s disgusting! How could you do that? You’re like some animal or something!” That killed our relationship.
Another was calmer, asked questions, seemed to be accepting but then dumped me three days later. (I was 100% whore by then.)
But it’s not just lesbians. Oh, the men (some of them) like the idea, at first, but then stop treating me so well.
Unlike the gays and lesbians, we women think we’re working at cross purposes. Wives are afraid their husbands will spend their time, money and energy with hookers rather than bringing it home, even if the wife doesn’t put out. The wives want their husbands to have no other alternative. Plus, many women are too into religion.
Sex workers are a small percentage of women. The majority of women don’t see fighting for sex-worker rights as anything that will help them, in fact, many fear that doing so will just make them be suspected.
I understand why most men are skittish about getting into a long term commited relationship with a prostitute. They fear they will not be able to keep her loyal .The man can have lots of money and resources or not, but the one thing we all share in common is we all share the 24 hour day 7 days a week. This is also true if a man knows how to attract women and keep them attracted or doesn’t. Most men think probably rightly that they don’t have what it takes to keep a prostitute or former prostitute or even other sex workers such asd strippers loyal and agreeable in the relationship. Even if he does think he has what it takes to do these things with sex workers or former sex workers, he often thinks other women will be easier to handle. I offered possible explanations for heterosexual men, and I have no idea what lesbians think.
Thankyou for saying this most importantly as a woman and after that as a former prostitute. Everything you’ve said, I’ve said before I even knew this site existed. It’s all about limiting men’s ability to get sex so they will sign on to any commited long term relationship which they can get with a woman even if she is wrong for him just so he can get sex. Think of Maggie’s stories about Ralph as an example. You are dealing with women and this includes lesbians who fear men and male sexuality especially if it is male heterosexuality. They often hate it and don’t respect it. Most women do not have the physical beauty nor the mental and emotional charactersistics to be prostitutes, strippers, porn actresses or other sex workers. Women are often jealous, disrespectful and hateful of these women because they are a threat to them. Men’s heterosexuality frees women sex workers and women sex workers especially prostitutes free heterosexual men. I’m not surprised by the majority of female behavior as I see it in their interest to unjustly persecute women prostitutes and their customers of heterosexual men. What is really difficult for me to understand is why so many men in the USA are so pussy-whooped, brainwashed and foolish as they think it is a good idea to persecute the whores and the johns. Did you ever notice that as more states gave women the right to vote that there is a correalation between the number of states which outlawed prostitution and more and more vigorously enforced this ban? I’m not saying it is the only cause or correallation, but it can not be ignored either. Most states had allowed women to vote prior to 1920, and finally the USA let all women vote.
You may not like these questions, but here it goes. Why should the majority of women care about women prostitutes and men if the majority of womern prostitutes and men won’t defend themselves? Most men won’t fight for themselves or fellow men nor for their male hetersexuality. Why should women? Most men won’t fight for the women prostitutes either. Why should non-prostitute women? Here’s the answer; if you are unable or worse unwilling to defend yourself and respect yourself, noone else will either. .
I have trivia! – Catharine MacKinnon’s father George was an old-timey anti-gay bigot when he was a Congressman. He’s mentioned in the book “The Lavender Scare” – I have the applicable bit hightlighted in my “Patriarch” video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nYTaHOymos
He’s a dude people really should know more about and it boggles my mind that so many ‘feminists’ hold her up as some sort of radical when she’s just like her ultra-conservative daddy.
Thanks, Feminist Whore! The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, did it?
Maggie here’s a link to George Mackinnon’s oral history, it’s one of the most fascinating things I’ve ever read, I think you’ll find it interesting: http://www.dcchs.org/OralHistory.asp?OralHistoryID=2
Love this post and will be distributing it! One thing I would say, though, is that it’s not clear to me that “the majority” of sex workers are in the profession voluntarily. Pro-sex-workers’-rights advocates often say this, while anti-trafficking people often say the opposite, and it’s frankly unclear to me that either side knows the truth at all. And the statistic always bugs me when either side brings it up, because it seems not just unmeasurable, but useless and polarizing. I prefer to shift the discursive focus towards trying to make a better world both for sex workers who are in the profession voluntarily, and those who aren’t.
Thanks, Clarisse! All the methodologically sound studies which have been done show that sex work is pretty much like any other work: people choose it as the best option available to them. The evidence is that the overwhelming majority of sex workers – 98.5% of adults and at least 84% of underage – enter the profession as voluntarily as anyone ever enters any profession (see my post “A False Dichotomy“), and that feminist hair-splitting about “true choice” is the only way to make it look otherwise. You might also take a look at my “Handy Figures” column, which is just loaded with links to columns, other studies, etc. 🙂
Well, for one thing, “voluntarily” is not the same as the kind of “consent” I would prefer to see people have. I’ll just come right out and say that I think capitalism is inherently an oppressive system and I really have a problem with casting “consent” as “as voluntarily as anyone ever enters any profession”.
All this having been said, I fundamentally agree with you and I’m on the side of sex workers’ rights. I find discussions like this to be basically a distraction from the real work that has to be done.
I think the most important reason for the relative failure of the sex worker rights movement is that contrary to queerness, being a sex worker is often not a part of one’s identity. Many prositutes quit the business after a few years or only months, do something else and hide their past. But you can’t just move on from being homo- or transsexual. They have a much higher incentive to fight for their rights. This could also explain why sex workers in India seem to fight more for their rights than sex workers in the western world; the caste-system thinking is still strong there, so they have a even harder time just doing another job.
Part of the difference might be the choice thing. Unless you are a slave, you choose to be a prostitute. If prostitution is bad, then it’s “your fault” that you’re doing this bad thing.
Whatever one may think of homosexuality, if the homosexual is “born that way” and “can’t help it,” then it’s “not his fault.”
Even Archie Bunker had to admit, “OK, you’re colored, you can’t help that.”
I’m sure that helped once their activities weren’t illegal in California, but when the “gay rights” movement started they couldn’t be “out” any more than we can.”
That’s true, but they were already in power bases (the rich, the world of politics and show business) where straight friends and relatives could fight on their behalf. Also, when the battle was won they could ensure thate a climate was created where no ‘decent’ person could admit to the slightest whiff of anit-gay sentiment – whatever their private feelings.
Prostitutes, even those catering for the rich and famous, don’t have that kind of leverage
I think you’re right, and also that Comixchik is when she points out that homosexuals stay homosexual for life, while prostitutes usually stop openly whoring after a time. Our fight will be a lot more akin to the battle for abortion rights, a slow back-and-forth over decades rather than a one-way trip as “gay rights” were.
Amazingly, the anti-prostitute activists are trying to cast their struggle to further criminalize us as a battle for our rights, which would be like segregationists in the ’60s saying that black people should mind their place like children, because segregation was good for them and laws allowing them to be arrested for being in “white-only” areas were actually intended to “protect” them from evil white people whose “control” they weren’t smart or strong or sophisticated enough to resist.
> (from “gay and lesbian” to “GLBT” to “GLBTQ” to whatever alphabet soup it is now)
QUeer: Intersexed, Lesbian, Transgendered, Bisexual, And Gay -> QUILTBAG
Heh heh, that’s good.
[…] to speak up for our rights on this day. The gay rights movement didn’t really take off until thefriends and families of gay people got involved, and it’s the same for us; since only about 1% of Western women ever formally work as whores, […]
[…] speak up for our rights on that day. The gay rights movement didn’t really take off until the friends and families of gay people got involved, and it’s the same for us; since only about 1% of Western women ever formally work as whores, […]
[…] to speak up for our rights on this day. The gay rights movement didn’t really take off until thefriends and families of gay people got involved, and it’s the same for us; since only about 1% of Western women ever formally work as whores, […]
[…] and sex worker rights languished as a marginal cause for a generation while gay rights advocates managed to build a powerful coalition which has not only won legal protections for gay people, but dramatically reduced bigotry toward […]