Familiarity is the test of truth. – Mason Cooley
Most of you have probably seen the recent articles bemoaning the fact that the recession has induced a number of women who had never previously done sex work to take such jobs (especially the legal varieties like phone sex operator, stripper or sugar baby). And as you’ve read here, it’s the same story among escorts. As Whitney Jefferson of Jezebel pointed out, mainstream articles on the subject tend to be characterized by anti-whore judgmentalism and the pretense of horror, which Jefferson characterizes as an “I can’t believe this is actually happening …in America” tone. And of course one of the Jezebel commenters, demonstrating an almost total recto-cranial insertion, posted a comment which illustrated that attitude better than the author could have:
It seems like men never have to resort to this kind of stuff. People seem less squeamish about taking a job at McDonalds than they do about sex work, for obvious reasons. Some women aren’t comfortable with sex work but feel like it’s either that or starve…I think that it’s problematic that society is able to shrug and say, “eh, at least she can be a stripper or a phone sex operator” despite the fact that lots of women do not want those roles. Then we can all collectively wash our hands of the responsibility of providing better jobs.
Because in the neofeminist mind, no job could possibly be worse than one with good pay and flexible hours, and to the Neomarxist mind governments are somehow magically able to provide such jobs regardless of market factors…something even Marx himself recognized was impossible: (“A thing cannot have value, if it is not a useful article. If it is not useful, then the labor it contains is also useless, does not count as labor and hence does not create value.”) Though Marx might have disagreed, sex work is valuable for the simple reason that real human beings unmotivated by a political agenda are willing to pay their own money for it, which is a far different thing from make-work jobs paid for with stolen money.
But even though I’m opposed to women who aren’t suited to sex work participating in it (for reasons I discuss in my upcoming January 17th column), I don’t think there are really all that many of them. Because of the noise created by prohibitionists and prudes (like the commenter quoted above), and the outsized footprints left by embittered malcontents who should never have entered the sex trade in the first place, it sometimes seems to the casual observer that there are plenty of unhappy sex workers. But studies show this simply isn’t the case; though streetwalkers often report being dissatisfied with their jobs (a fact wrongfully extended by lying prohibitionists to the more than 85% of prostitutes who are not streetwalkers, and thence to strippers, porn actresses and even PSOs), most brothel workers are satisfied with theirs and most escorts see theirs positively. An Australian study even found that half of all prostitutes surveyed ranked their work as a “major source of satisfaction” in their lives, and 70% said they would definitely choose prostitution again if they had their lives to live over.
In other words, despite the claims of yellow journalists and neofeminists the great majority of the inexperienced women entering sex work due to economic pressure find that work no more odious than that of other women forced by economic pressure into other jobs that might not have been their first choice. As I pointed out in “A False Dichotomy”,
The only people who can truly claim to have made an absolutely free choice to do any kind of work are the Paris Hiltons of the world, those who have a guaranteed inheritance, income and secured future no matter what they choose to do with the present. Every other person has no choice but to work in some fashion; the choice not to work at all simply doesn’t exist unless one considers starvation an option. At that point, then, the choice boils down to what kind of work one is able and willing to do.
And that being the case, I think it’s fantastic news that more women are choosing to do sex work. A great deal of prohibitionism is fueled by the myth that all whores are monsters, criminals, defectives or victims rather than what we actually are: women using our natural abilities to make a living, just as men use their natural abilities to do so without anyone as much as batting an eyelash. The more women try sex work, the more people will know a woman who has done it and the more the stigma will evaporate; the less the stigma, the less the support for criminalization. As it has happened with homosexuality, so it will with sex work; once the majority of women know someone who has done sex work, the majority of men who have employed sex workers will more easily be able to admit it and the more people will recognize prohibitionist propaganda for what it is.
Not so very long ago, gambling was portrayed as a monumental social evil, but Nevada made it easy for many Americans to experience it and by the 1980s Las Vegas had even succeeded in dispelling much of the seedy atmosphere that had frightened more timid souls away. Indian casinos, riverboat casinos and state lotteries proliferated throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s and the internet brought online gambling, the persecution of which by the federal government is predestined to fail for reasons which should be obvious. And now it looks like the “gentrification” of Nevada brothels may be starting with the appearance of themed brothels (thanks to Krulac and Dean Clark for sending me that item), which have been popular in Japan for years.
Repression thrives on ignorance; when people see others as human beings they are less likely to support the persecution of those people, and when they see behaviors as normal rather than strange and “scary” they are less likely to support bans on those activities. The more women try sex work the more people will know someone who has and the less prohibitionists will be able to present lies and exceptions as the norm. In the present climate of ignorance, women who have bad experiences with sex work are seen as far more representative than they actually are, but with knowledge comes perspective and the recognition that sex work is like any other kind of work: awful for a few, tolerable for many and perfect for some.
One Year Ago Today
“Grow the Hell Up” examines the support for prohibition which derives from ignorance acting in conjunction with a desire to avoid personal responsibility.
I am encouraged that the comment you quoted on Jezebel was the only negative one I saw.
I was, too. As I’ve said before, Jezebel‘s kinda funny when it comes to sex work; they tend to be positive about porn, wishy-washy about stripping, mildly negative about escort prostitution and gullible about claims of “sex trafficking”.
yes …i wondered about Jeze myself. I`d read some things and ,then others , and they seemed to be a moving target, i just couldn`t figure them out. glad you informed me i was seeing the same thing.
Oh….ps, I don`t know if anyone else reads UTNE reader,(i know i know i`m one of the libs on here) but the Sept-Oct mag has quiet a sex positive write up in it.
Couple things – just because someone else considers a job “gross” – doesn’t mean that everyone does. When I was a baby-submariner I learned how to identify different kinds of hydraulic leaks from “tasting” hydraulic oil. On a 688 class submarine, for a long time – I was the “San 1” “diver”. “San 1” was a “sanitary tank” – one of the holding tanks where all the brown trout (sewage) on the boat flushed to. Occasionally it had to be cleaned – and you had to crawl into it and, that was my job for a long time. After the first couple of times – I actually enjoyed it and LOVED watching people puke when I grabbed a big handful of the brown “slime” off the wall of the tank and molded it like play-dough. 🙂
One time I ordered up a ham sandwich from crew’s mess just on a bet from one of the machinists that I wouldn’t eat it while I was in the tank. I did and he lost his cookies (but I won five bucks!!).
I know that grosses a lot of people out but I actually enjoyed cleaning that tank – it was some pretty “meditative” work and I usually got off early for volunteering to do it. I could cut my own “deals” with my supervisor on it – because NO ONE wanted the job and if I did a good job of it he’d usually give me whatever I wanted for it. It enabled me to get on the beach early for some surfing and girl-watching (this was Hawaii).
I hardly think that most people would oppose prostitution if the girls were all “doing” George Clooney look-alikes. I think most people have the idea stuck in their heads that prostitutes are “servicing” a bunch of disgusting, old, obese men. Many of them probably are pretty disgusting physically but, it doesn’t mean that women who deal with those customers are somehow inferior to other women – just as I was no more inferior to anyone else for being willing to climb in a shit tank and clean it!
My friend Frank is a male nurse, and he’s worked the night shift for almost 20 years. He gets a “shift differential” because nobody wants that shift, but he actually likes it because it’s much quieter (and of course for the extra money).
The average escort client is the same as the average guy in the street; really, how could it be otherwise? The proportion of beasts to blahs to average guys to dreamboats is exactly the same as one would meet anywhere.
I guess my point is – that most folks who aren’t really that exposed to prostitution view it as a dirty profession with women servicing a bunch of losers.
And … don’t get offended by this – but I really think (could be wrong though), that it’s WOMEN who hold the biggest sway in making all forms of sex work legal (or decriminalized). To be honest – I really don’t think there are that many “Christian” voters who are male who would vote to uphold prostitution laws. It’s the “main stream” women, I think, who have the strongest views on prostitution (well, aside from the neofeminists). This kind of also pairs up with efforts to place limits on pornography – and even the lyrics in songs.
For damn sure – there is no way a male like me can stand up and convince anyone that the issue of “trafficking” is a bunch of bullshit. There is no way a male like me could convince anyone that prostitution doesn’t wreck homes … or that decriminalizing it would “empower” women (instead of the opposite). It’s one of those issues that you girls have to get ahold of yourselves. I think men will, by and large – go with what women want here – just as they did with repealing prohibition.
By the way – on the side here … did YOU coin the terms “Neofeminist” and “Archeofeminist”, Maggie? I can’t seem to find those terms or the definitions anywhere else but here. Are they your invention? They are good terms for sure.
I think you’re right about women being the issue, specifically white middle-class Protestant women and neofeminists from a WASP or Jewish background. Since 69% of men have paid for sex at least once and 20% do it at least occasionally, I just can’t imagine that most men actually believe in that “only losers pay” bullshit.
And yes, those terms are my coinages. I sometimes see others using “neofeminist” to mean other things, mostly something like “3rd wave feminist” or “sex-positive feminist”; in fact, journalist Michelle Chen called ME a neofeminist back in November, so obviously she was using the term in a different way from mine.
Yeah it’s the women … funny story … me and my wife (many years ago) got drunk one night and started sharing secrets we’d never told each other. Invariably the “how many dudes / girls have you had?” Question came up.
She was astonished that about 1/3rd of my encounters were with hookers and said … “amazing you weren’t riddled with std’s!” So there’s my wife’s opinion on hooker cleanliness.
I told her … “No, – I only got an std once (chlamydia) and that was from you, dear.” I stole her from another guy when I met her – and I suppose I should have quarantined her for 30 days! 😛
But it just goes to show the typical attitudes people have without even thinking. When a hooker gets an std – it’s a predictable occurrence … but when an “amateur” woman gets one – it’s a bolt of lighting from out of the sky or something! 😛
Which is, of course, exactly why they get them 160x as often as we do. Even in a scientifically literate world, people still unconsciously believe that diseases are a punishment from the gods for “sin”, so deep down they think “bad girls” will get them even with protection and “good girls” won’t even without because they only have sex with men they “looooove” and their “loooooove” will protect them.
Is it really 160x? Do you have a cite for that?
Of course. 😉 I talked all about it in “Dirty Whores“.
Well … LOL … my wife has been worth that one case of the clam. 😛
Although, in hindsight – I should have called in some “covering fire” before charging into the bush with only my “rifle”. 🙂
But no, I’ve worked my “magic” on her – and she’s all for decriminalization of prostitution. She doesn’t understand why any woman would want to do it – but she supports it as a choice. I really don’t see a problem with her position since she’s on our side. We don’t all have to agree on the particulars – just the goal.
Well, that’s exactly it. There are lots of behaviors I think are downright stupid (such as smoking and face piercing), but I wouldn’t want them illegal. And though I’d have a fit if I found out one of my friends was smoking crack or meth, I don’t think they should be illegal because A) if someone wants to poison himself it’s HIS body and not mine; and B) trying to prevent it does huge harm to the population and doesn’t even prevent the behavior.
Yes, this was the same for me when I had sex only friends. I met some that were very good-looking (in the conventional sense) and some that weren’t as good-looking.
I worked in a rest home meny years back. I don`t need to tell you what i did to help these folks. you see stuff that most of the pop can`t believe. but after a montrh on so, you just “jump right in to the job” you might say . And most were of them were very apprc, but some were hateful. But you did your job.
Nursing home work was rated last year as the most depressing job in the U.S., yet nobody wants it “abolished” or “controlled” because it doesn’t involve sex.
I hardly think that most people would oppose prostitution if the girls were all “doing” George Clooney look-alikes.
Perhaps. But the serious prohibitionists – ie. the religious hypocrites and neofeminists – are opposed to (heterosexual) sex in general. Sweden is a good example of both tendencies; back when they were Christian, the Swedish government banned all sex outside of marriage in 1734. Now that they are neofeminist, they have banned professional sex and are doing their best to criminalize amateur sex as well, by constantly widening the definition of rape.
I’ll play some devil’s advocate with the commenter above.
She mentioned about providing “better jobs”. While I don’t think non-sex work jobs are necessarily better than sex work, my take is that if “society” is going to complain and/or disaprove of women doing sex work, then it also has the responsibility of providing other types of work for women. And when I mean *work*, I mean at a living wage.
But hey, it’s much more fun and a lot more cheap to wag one’s finger, isn’t it?
In regards to the mainstream media in it’s whore-coverage, the media today is so out-of-touch with the the average person, it’s unbelievable. I have difficulty believing that the typical cable news network is making enough money to keep themselves in business without government subsidies.
I’m sending a little I wrote to you, Maggie. I might have sent it already, but probably not, because it’s unfinished. I involves a woman who takes up prostitution because it’s the only job available, and she has to have a job or she’ll be kicked out of the community she wants to live in. She’s a bit surprised that she doesn’t feel the crushing weight of degradation she expected, and her biggest problem is going to be convincing the people who make the kicking-out decisions that this is indeed “a job.”
I’ll send (what there is of it) now. I had it in mind for the anthology, but it might be too long when (if) finished.
A couple of these stories have appeared in the Irish media recently too, also with an “isn’t it awful we’re being reduced to this” tone. Here is one example.
It’s interesting to note, in reference to Susan’s point, that the newspaper running these stories has been one of the biggest cheerleaders for the austerity policies that are destroying other jobs and driving women (and others) into poverty.
Of course! But they don’t want women making as much money as lawyers or top journalists, God forbid! They want us forced into factories and office cubicles like good little worker bees, or onto the public dole so we’ll be inspired to vote for the politicians who back those editorials behind the scenes so they can represent themselves as “saviors” later.
I was always glad that sex work was there for me, I made much better money and had a better time than i did waiting tables or clerking in stores. Many times I’ve felt sorry for men because they didn’t have that option.
As for clients being losers, old fat men, well, some are older, and overweight. So what? I had a regular who was older, overweight, and one of the best physical experiences I’ve known. He was one of the very few time when working i had a real orgasm. The man loved women. No, I don’t mean he just liked having sex with women, he really loved the whole package of women. He was also very sexually open. He’s an amazing man, and I’ve seen him, socially, since retiring. Many of my clients were really great guys.
While I see Maggies point about the stigma, I’m not so glad to see so many women entering the job. I suspect many are ill prepared, their heads filled with rubbish about the work from the media, and are likely to have bad experiences and become anti-whore. I hope I’m wrong.
I discuss the sort of women you’re concerned about in my upcoming column of the 17th. I’m concerned about them as well, but I think more good examples will help to outweigh them.
Nice one Maggie. Check out PLRI.org twitter and send us stuff
XXX Cheryl
Thanks, Cheryl! Funny, but I thought I was already following PLRI; well, I am now! I haven’t quite got the hang of Twitter just yet. 😉
BTB, you may be interested in knowing that I quote an essay of yours, “Willing Brides and Consenting Homosexuals”, in my upcoming column of January 21st. 🙂
@Wendy
Yeah, the media is just like that, aren’t they? I’m so damn sick their acting really shocked! shocked! at a single mother doing phone sex. Well it’s not a fuckin’ surprise to the 20 million people laid of in the past ten years, or the people living check-to-check, or the white collars who wonder when their job is next on the chopping block. Man, I’d rather read old Soviet Pravda than the typical cable show.
I think the fundamental problem with the media is that they are every bit as lazy and stupid as people are in most professions. The irony of course is that while they are just like everyone else, they can’t imagine that prostitutes are the same. The alternative explanation is that they can imagine it but they express shock because they cynically doubt that their readers have the same “nuanced” world-view.
Sadly, the media isn’t really in the business of truth… they’re in the business of selling narratives.