I don’t understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away? – George Carlin
One year ago today I published “Real Men Support Sex Worker Rights”, whose title is a negation of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s ludicrous assertion that “real men don’t buy girls” (by which they actually meant “pay for sex” rather than “purchase underage female humans as though they were kewpie dolls”). In it I stated,
Only weak, pathetic little bullies need to try to restrict women’s sexual choices in order to feel like “real men”, but truly real men (the kind without scare quotes) aren’t threatened by sexually aware women; they are secure enough in their masculinity to recognize women have the right to control our own bodies and to decide whom we want to bestow our favors upon and for what reason. In short, only insecure sissies want to suppress women’s right to sexual self-determination; real men support the right of women to make our own sexual choices, including the decision to engage in sex work if we are so inclined.
In the current climate of misandrist hysteria, every man is considered a potential rapist, child molester or “sex trafficker”, so it’s not surprising when spineless men line up to be counted among the ranks of the politically correct whore-bashers. It’s one thing for a woman to support sex worker rights because we’re not under a permanent cloud of suspicion, but these days it takes some serious balls for a man to stand up, demand rights for sex workers, and actually sign his real name to the thing.
The rest of that column called attention to a Boston Herald editorial by Daniel Akst, but he isn’t the only guy on the internet committed to standing up for the rights of sex workers, and today I’d like to call attention to a few others. I’m not going to include male sex workers (because it’s personal for them) or bloggers (unless they blog under their real names); these men are all journalists, academics, entertainers or government figures who have attracted my attention in the past two years. I’m sure I’m missing a few, so please feel free to add them in the comments (with a link and capsule biography, s’il vous plaît).
Daniel Akst Journalist, editor at Newsday and author of several books including We Have Met the Enemy: Self-Control in an Age of Excess. Email him at dan@akst.com or follow him on Twitter: @danakst
Rob Arthur A former inner-city teacher and public defender, author of You Will Die: The Burden of Modern Taboos; his cartoons have been featured on Boing Boing. E-mail him at rob@suburra.com or follow him on Twitter: @robarthur9.
Radley Balko Award-winning writer and editor (currently for Huffington Post, formerly for Reason, Cato and Fox News and sporadically for many other publications) who has testified before Congress and been cited by the US Supreme Court. His main areas of interest are civil liberties and criminal justice. Email him at radleybalko1@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter: @radleybalko
Simon Byrne Assistant Commissioner at Scotland Yard, former Deputy Chief Constable of Greater Manchester Police and the Association of Chief Police Officers’ lead for prostitution and sexual exploitation. He has repeatedly called for reform of prostitution laws, with an eye toward decriminalization and a harm reduction approach.
Philippe Caubère French actor who openly admits to regularly hiring prostitutes and has spoken out against the imposition of the Swedish Model on France.
Hernando Chaves Sexologist, sex and marriage therapist, sex advice columnist for AskMen and sex worker supporter. Email him at editorial@askmen.com or follow him on Twitter: @Hernando_Chaves
Darrell Dawsey Freelance journalist who has written for publications including the Detroit News, Los Angeles Times, New York Daily News, Philadelphia Inquirer, TIME, Essence, Vibe and USA Today. He also wrote I Ain’t Scared of You with comedian Bernie Mac.
Mark Draughn Software developer/consultant and amateur journalist, founder and chief contributor of Windypundit, one of the founders of Nobody’s Business and regular reader of The Honest Courtesan. Email him at mark@windypundit.com or follow him on Twitter: @windypundit
Fredrick Federley Moderate Swedish politician who was the only one with balls enough to stand up against the sex purchase ban, against the wishes of his own party. Here are links to his official website and blog.
Scotty “Deep Geek” Fitzgerald A podcaster on computer technology who branched out to offer a mix of world and tech news that official sources avoid (including labor issues, sex worker rights, alternative political parties and privacy issues). Email him at dg@deepgeek.us or follow him on Twitter: @dgtgtm
Michael Goodyear Founder of the Center for Sex Work Research and Policy, an online resource for academics and academically-inclined activists (like yours truly) to exchange information and discuss research. Email him at mgoodyear@dal.ca.
Rick Holmes Long-time Opinion Editor for the MetroWest Daily News and Milford Daily News in Massachusetts, columnist for the GateHouse Media group and founder of the group news blog Holmes & Co. Email him at rholmes@cnc.com or follow him on Twitter: @HolmesAndCo
Dave Krueger An electrical engineer and lifelong libertarian whose blog Sex Hysteria! specifically addresses humanity’s irrationality toward all things sex related. Though he stopped actively maintaining it in March of 2011, he still comments on websites and writes the occasional guest blog, and his website remains an excellent reference on the subject. Email him at dave@sexhysteria.com.
Stephen Paterson Welsh journalist, founding member of the Centre for Sex Work Research and Policy UK and author of the largest Downing Street e-petition to date for decriminalization. He says the best way to get in touch with him is simply to comment on the most recent post on his blog.
Penn and Teller Magicians, libertarians and skeptics whose long-running Showtime TV series, Penn and Teller’s Bullshit! debunks all the con games, official frauds, popular beliefs and political lies which infest the modern world, including prostitution law. Follow them on Twitter: @pennjillette and @MrTeller
Thaddeus Russell Historian who wrote A Renegade History of the United States, which demonstrates how the “bad people” and outcasts (including whores) won virtually all the rights modern Americans take for granted. Email him at thaddeusrussell@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter: @thaddeusrussell
Jack Shafer Well-known writer and editor (currently for Reuters, formerly for Slate and before that for Washington City Paper and SF Weekly). He is an outspoken libertarian and critic of the mainstream media, especially yellow journalism, stenographic journalism and journalistic promulgation of moral panics such as trafficking hysteria. Email him at Shafer.Reuters@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter: @jackshafer
Stanley Siegel Psychotherapist, sex therapist and author of Your Brain On Sex who was sacked as a blogger from Psychology Today for espousing positions the editors found too controversial, such as embracing sex work as a kind of therapy. He’s currently working to start a new magazine, Psychology Tomorrow. Email him at stanleysiegel@gmail.com or follow him on Twitter: @stanleysiegel
John Stossel This award-winning journalist has been speaking out against tyranny, stupidity and lies since the 1970s and is the only major media figure to consistently and repeatedly attack the concept of consensual crimes, including prostitution, on television and in his writings. Email him at john.stossel@foxnews.com or follow him on Twitter: @FBNStossel
Jacob Sullum Nationally syndicated columnist, senior editor at Reason and author of Saying Yes and For Your Own Good. One of the few major journalists with the balls to point out that the campaign against Backpage, like all criminalization efforts, harms women. Email him at jsullum@reason.com or follow him on Twitter: @jacobsullum
Ronald Weitzer Sociologist specializing in criminology who has written extensively on prostitution and supports decriminalizing indoor prostitution. While his advocacy of the continued criminalization of street prostitution has caused considerable friction with many activists, his research is solid and he is especially critical of sex trafficking hysteria. Email him at weitzer@gwu.edu
In a world full of men eager to control women’s bodies, to make our sexual decisions for us or to score points with neofeminists by parroting anti-sex worker dogma, I’m glad there are a few who have enough respect for women that they’re willing to speak up for our right to agency and self-determination even at a time when it isn’t politically correct to do so. That takes guts and character, and I am of the opinion that those traits deserve recognition wherever they occur.
Wait – what? They actually THROW PEOPLE IN JAIL for purchasing sex in Sweden? I thought their “model” was just a bunch of gimmicks and stupid clown tricks that just made people miserable. Might have to step up my timeline for conquering Sweden now that I know this.
By the way – Mark Draughn links to a “cop or soldier” test with 21 pictures and you’re supposed to guess whether the uniformed dudes in the pic are “cops” or “soldiers”. http://www.theagitator.com/2012/01/16/take-the-quiz/
I figured I’d ACE that test real quick but no … I only got 16 right which is only a grade of “good”. 🙁
But, judging from one of the comments – I used the wrong criteria to judge between cop or soldier. I LMFAO at this comment below …
That’s probably Maggie’s quote! LOL.
Thanks for taking the time to write this article, Maggie. I think men are going to be a part of the solution to this problem … eventually.
I think men are going to be the entire solution. Despite what MRAs declare, women are pretty much split down the middle on the issue of whether women should own and control our own bodies…and that leaves the deciding vote up to men.
Maggie,
“the deciding vote up to men.”
Why would you VOTE on a right? We are endowed with our rights by our creator. The tyranny of the majority has NOTHING to do with rights.
Don’t be obtuse, Peter; you know what I mean. No government can actually eliminate a right, but that’s cold comfort to those abducted at gunpoint, robbed and locked in cages for exercising rights the government chooses to suppress.
Yes, yes ..i think men will eventualy have enough of being told to act like women sexually. I do think that “biology” will take over and men will just have enough. sam
Here’s the problem Maggie, as you of course know many of we clients are married men. Speaking up could mean destroying our families.
Doesn’t a “real man” also consider his wife and family?
Speaking up doesn’t require admitting that one hires hookers; all it requires is that one insist that women have the right to decide for themselves what to do with their bodies. I’ve never used an illegal drug in my life and I would have a cow if I ever caught my husband using something dangerous like cocaine, but I still say (loudly and regularly) that people have the right to put whatever they want into their bodies.
Perhaps, but to avoid the suspicion that I’d be under if I suddenly took an interest in sex workers rights, seemingly out of nowhere (my wife isn’t stupid you know) it would have to be part of a more general libertarian activism – but even there, in my line of work sticking your neck out on drug reform is invititing ostracism. I support your right to do with you want with your body – but I am actually more concerned with my own work and family than it anyone elses body and what they chose to do with it.
BTW, in NZ, the law reform was driven by male gay members of parliament. Surely that is significant, especially in this climate where heterosexual men above the age of 40 of any degree of social status are treated like Nazis for any sexual indiscretion. I suspect that the sex workers rights came hot on the heels of gay rights, as gay men came out of the closet they took on other aspects of sexual rights. For a married family man, drawing the attention of the jackals in the press is worrisome. Even in Australia in recent days a couple of flirtatious texts by a married man (to another man) is threatening to bring down the entire government. People seem obsessed with the sex lives of married men if you ask me – projecting their own childish need for a sense of social order and security onto older men, who are treated as father figures to the whole of goddam society, and if we fall from grace it is treated as somehow threatening to the whole of society.
Until the press ceases its hunt for married men in sexual indiscretions, few may be willing to put their heads above the parapets. I will though, but only after I’ve done some thinking about how to go about it. More creative solutions are required if the (male) troops are to be rallied.
Here’s an example. Two years ago a national newspaper ran an article anti-prostitution by a 1970’s style feminist. I wrote a letter to the editor in response to it (pro-sex work and pro-sex), which was published. Within a week, my wife had nearly every woman in the neighbourhood/community and every mother at our kids school talk to her about my letter. She was actually embarassed. It seems that commenting on sex as a married man is automatically seen as a comment on ones own sex life, and therefore an invasion of your wife’s privacy. The political made personal.
So, in actuality it isn’t the men speaking up that simply needs to happen – there needs to be enough women as well. In this case the whisper-mill of women in our community and respect for my wife lead to me to cease. Men and women need to come together on this issue for progress.
Or else the gay men will eventually sort it out I guess. It starts with heterosexual women supporting their men – we won’t do it if it alienates the women in our lives.
I mean, we are already sexually isolated from women (or we wouldn’t be clients), we don’t want to be socially isolated from women as well.
I’m glad to hear that gay Kiwis went to bat for whores; here in the States there are a few gay activists who care about us, but most just keep focusing on more and more trivial aspects of their own agenda instead, and some even work actively against us. 🙁
I found that not having any dynastic inclinations made me care a whole lot less about what women thought or said about me.
Having said that, my two best friends are women, one my (now ex-)personal assistant, who is married to someone else, the other was someone I met when she was in the sex industry, but now owns her own business and is a single mother.
I’m not in the US but I worked in a multinational US corporation for a long time, and I never hid the fact that I support the decriminalisation of prostitution everywhere, and patronised prostitutes as often as finances allowed, despite being in senior management.
It goes without saying that the “average” woman will be inclined to oppose prostitution, because they (the prostitutes) are the competition. If men just wait for permission from the women in their lives before they support prostitutes’ rights, then it will never happen. This is not a criticism, merely a fact.
Perhaps the first step is to try to convince those wives, mothers, etc, that prostitutes are normal women too and that anything that strengthens the rights of prostitutes strengthens the rights of all women (and men).
Yes, I think that’s the best approach. All free people everywhere need to support the right of all adults to do as they like with their bodies; one needn’t “skyline” sex worker rights. They can be advocated as part of a general package of all freedoms based on owning and controlling one’s own body. Allowing exceptions to civil rights for drugs, prostitution, etc opens society up to the “First they came for the communists” effect.
I seemed to be doing pretty well, though I did get some wrong. I don’t know my final score, though, because you have to either register or sign in with a Facebook account to get that. Wish they’d told me that up front. Anywho, I’m not registering with something just for one quiz, and when I tried to sign in with my Facebook, it demanded to right to post on my behalf. Um, no. Go to Hell. Die. In that order.
If they had short hair, I called them soldiers. If they looked like they were in the US, I called them cops. Oftentimes, you couldn’t tell where they were and you couldn’t see their hair, so yeah.
i think mr federley is awesome,sth i have never said about a politician.hes brave and truly cares about a very marginalised group,i cant say sth like this for any of his collegues,in any country. the worst thing is that sweden excells at promoting its propaganda, most people out there actually beleive that prostitution has decreased and trafficking is non existent.it drives me insane,even if they impose 10 years instead of 1,what they will succeed is an increase in rapes.it also makes me afraid of what a decrease in clientelle does to sex workers,especially street walkers who get paid the least.the european economy is worse than ever,i dont know how much it has affected sweden,but in greece,spain,portugal there is suffering.here you listen about aids being on the rise,chemist stores in athens give free condoms to sex workers, their need for money drives them to offer unprotected sex to clients.can you imagine what a decrease in clientele because of fear of inprisonment does?not to mention the quality of the clientele especially in the streets definitely shifts to dangerous men,those who have no fear of inprisonment or their names beind destroyed.the good clients can definitely travel to another country like denmark,where prostitution is legal.whats sad is men like him who truly care about and respect women are probably branded as sexist pigs who want to ”buy”women,by so called”feminists”
Well. I have made it clear in my own name that Prostitution is LAWFUL.
I have never seen a rebuttal of that claim.
http://www.mensbusinessassociation.com/Forums/tabid/752/forumid/84/threadid/823/scope/posts/Default.aspx
Just stopping by to fangirl Radley Balko for a moment. The Agitator is one of the best damn things on the entire Internet.
I totally agree. 🙂
If it weren’t for Radley Balko, I never would’ve known about Maggie.
If it weren’t for Balko, I never would have know about a LOT of things.
Thanks for the accolades, Maggie. I found you through Dave Krueger, and I found Dave through Radley Balko, so I think it’s pretty clear that Radley is a ringleader of some kind. So are you, of course. It’s easy enough to follow a libertarian, individualist philosophy to the conclusion that prostitution should be legalized, but I sure appreciate hearing the same thing from people who’ve lived in that world.
You’re welcome. Ironically, I feel the other way; I’m always glad to hear people who were never involved in selling sex argue for decriminalization from a philosophical point of view.
Maggie, did you ever get around to watching Penn and Teller’s episode on Prostitution?
No, I don’t have the series yet, I don’t have outside TV (and never had Showtime), and my internet connection is too slow to watch long videos. So I’ll have to wait until somebody sends me the series. I’m patient; I’ve waited a very long time for things before.
I watched it on Youtube in ten-minute installments. I don’t remember who uploaded it, but it was taken from Brasilian TV and had Portuguese subtitles.
Hi Maggie! First of all I must say that I love your lucid analyses and fabulous and outstanding blog. I became a regular reader. As a german sexworker and sex worker rights activist I m of course against criminalisation of our clients.
Three names of honourable men come to my mind immediately who speak publicly and positively about sexworkers.
My international short list of “real men” he he …
1.) Mr Karl Lagerfeld, famous Fashion Designer, not only admits hiring escorts but he admires escorts and pornstars. check out this http://voices.washingtonpost.com/celebritology/2010/03/karl_lagerfeld_on_the_superior.html
2.) Michel Houellebecq, french novelist and author of “Platforme” and his latest work “The Map and the Territory” for which he won the most important french award in literature, the Prix Goncourt, states in a dozen of interviews that he love prostitutes and also play an essential role in his books i.e. http://biblioklept.org/2012/03/06/michel-houellebeq-i-still-havent-made-up-my-mind-whether-sex-is-good-or-not/
3.) Last not least Mr Chester Brown who give attention to his punting career in his latest comic strip “PAYING FOR IT – Memoir About Being a John”. I much value very highly the appendix of his book on sex worker rights issues, his strongly held positions on sex work, the demand for decriminalization and his criticism of Sheila Jeffreys arguments, feminist and abolitionist, who denies free choice doing sexwork.
more here http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/25/books/paying-for-it-is-chester-browns-memoir-of-prostitutes.html?pagewanted=all
In Germany there is just one interesting guy from Berlin and escort lover, Rolf Eden, entrepreneur with impressing bio, who always speaks in favour of his hobby. He is the last playboy in Germany. http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rolf_Eden
ariane
Karl Lagerfield can be mailed at:
Karl Lagerfeld
Karl Lagerfeld Group
12 rue Vivienne
75002 Paris
France
Michel Houellebecq can be reached via email at houelle@magic.fr
I’m afraid I can’t find any contact info for Chester Brown.
Blake Linton Wilfong uses his real name and his real face. More than I’ve ever done. Also a huge fan of Stargate: Universe, if that means anything to any of you.
What about rupert Everett? He spoke out against the criminalization of prostitution.
I’m currently planning a sequel to this column which will include him.
Real men treat whores well 😉
From various soldiers and sailors to Jesus of Nazareth to various artists and performers, this does seem to be true.
If you engage the service of a prostitute:
1) you’re not buying her body.
2) you’re not lying about finding her attractive.
3) you’re not even buying her sexual favours.
You are paying her to be a lot less choosy about who she has sex with next. 😉