When you grow up you realize that there isn’t really any Santa but the monsters are still around. – Anna Quindlen
Every year on Saint Nicholas’ Day I publish a column about him, not merely because of his association with Christmas but also because he happens to be the patron saint of prostitutes. If you’re wondering how on Earth the same man could come to be associated with both whores and holidays, read my first column for this day from two years ago, which mentions that this popular saint is also considered the patron of archers, children, merchants, sailors, students, repentant thieves and several cities including Amsterdam (where St. Nicholas’ Church lies immediately adjacent to De Wallen, the famed red-light district). In a comment to that column Sailor Barsoom pointed out that “there’s something beautiful about the same saint being the patron of both those society holds as most innocent, and least,” and I wholly agree; moreover, in his modern form of Santa Claus, he belongs to the whole world. Though associated with an ancient and widely-observed holiday some selfish Christians have tried to hoard as exclusively theirs, St. Nick truly symbolizes the spirit of giving, and of peace on Earth to all of good will, not just Christians. And that’s why it irritates me so badly when people try to compel Santa to shill for their own agendas, even when those are in stark contrast to what he really stands for.
Now, I’m not talking about the use of Santa in advertising; despite what some anti-Santa Christians claim, he was not pushed as a symbol of commercialism, but rather the opposite: advertisers used his image precisely because it was a beloved and instantly-recognizable one with strong positive associations. For example, Coca-Cola started using Santa Claus in its advertising in the 1920s because the company experienced a sharp decline in sales over the autumn and winter; Coke was widely viewed as a warm-weather beverage and so Santa – associated as he is with snow and midwinter – was picked to put the idea into people’s minds that the soft drink could be enjoyed in cold weather as well. It was only after the ads proved so popular that the company decided to publish them every year, and in 1931 the highly-regarded commercial illustrator Haddon Sundblom was hired to make the rather stern-looking Santa of the first few spots more “jolly” in keeping with the way he was described in Clement Moore’s “A Visit from Saint Nicholas”. But these paintings neither damaged nor subverted Santa’s reputation; in fact, they established Moore’s description of Santa (with a strong Thomas Nast influence) as the image of the “jolly old elf”, even in the minds of people who never drank Coca-Cola. The Santa-haters claim that Sundblom was ordered to make Santa’s suit red and white because they were Coke’s colors, but this is specious humbug; though it is true that earlier illustrators had sometimes depicted him in green (like the traditional English costume of Father Christmas) or more rarely in other colors, red was always the most common in the New York tradition inherited from the Netherlands, where Sinterklaas wears the red robes of a bishop.
No, the Santa-traffickers I’m griping about aren’t the ones who merely employ his good reputation in order to attach a positive association to some commercial product, but rather those who cynically try to change some part of his image that they don’t like in order to promote their pet social engineering schemes. A few months ago we heard that a (mercifully small) publisher had decided to bowdlerize “A Visit From Saint Nicholas” in order to remove the now-politically-incorrect detail that Santa smokes a pipe. And at the height of neofeminist influence in the early ‘90s, some deranged “women’s studies” professor actually published a ripoff of the poem (intended not as a parody, but to be read to children) in which a bizarrely-young Mrs. Claus divorces Santa and wins custody of the castle, reindeer, gift-giving role and several unnamed dependent minor children. Apparently, that version even revolted most feminists because I was unable to turn up even a reference to it either on Google or in a database of almost a thousand “Night Before Christmas” parodies.
But though these over-the-top perversions are annoying, they are ultimately no more damaging to Santa’s image that any of the thousands of commercials that use it every year (as evidenced by the disappearance without trace of that “Santa’s divorce” abomination). They can’t hold a candle to the most twisted misuse, namely that of the Salvation Army. It may be that most of the money collected by their ubiquitous bell-ringing counterfeit Clauses goes to the poor as promised, but even if that’s true the campaign frees up other funds (which might otherwise have to be used for the poor) to be spent on hateful persecutions of those whose sexual behavior offends the Salvationists. The beloved image of the bringer of peace and joy is used to trick people into supporting a movement which believes some people deserve death for sexual preferences, and the bearded visage of the patron saint of whores disguises a crusade to wipe us out.
Hi Maggie,
On the Red and Green Santa, I rememberl a syndicated, single-panel cartoonist from the 1970’s who made his appearance in our Sunday comics – but whose name I don’t recall, had a Christmas cartoon that shows a group of Santas mustering for the day’s work.
A single green-clad Santa is standing opposite them in the frame and all of the reds are looking at him as he quotes Thoreau.
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
I did a bit of googling and I think that the cartoon was “Berry’s World.” There are samples of his work on the web but not the particular one I cited.
Here’s a (non-christmas) panel of his.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Berrys_world.gif
This is, incidentally, the one that got him in trouble with L. Ron Hubbard. That episode is amusing in a rather twisted way. I guess that just proves that anything can be determined to be a blasphemy.
I wouldn’t say that I am a smart man – but I do have a lot of “street smarts” and common sense. One of the things I learned, early on, was that you can spot a snake oil salesman by the tactics he uses (and often the words he uses). I’ve elaborated on this before, if I catch you throwing a “number” at me that I can spot as being false, and purely designed to “sell” me your point of view – then I get up and walk away from that table and never talk to you again – whether or not you may have a valid point – matters not to me. Because all I see is that you insulted my intelligence by attempting to pass me a falsehood.
Another tactic … is an appeal to my emotions to get me to buy something.
Like … this shit here …
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/blog/2010/dec/03/children-climate-change-television-santa
Next!
Associating Santa with Coke – well I don’t really have a problem with that – it’s fairly harmless and it’s kind of a part of “Americana”. However, organizations like the Salvation Army or other “causes” should be a bit more careful in recruiting him for their causes because some of us out here – are hip to the scam.
Good point, krulac,
In addition, the Coke approach helped add substance to the mythos so it wasn’t just a one way transaction. And I’d much rather look at that kind of commercial art than what passed for “fine art” in that time period.
Oh crap! I wish I had read this yesterday. Here I thought I was teaching my children to be compassionate and giving and grateful for the privileges they have. I gave each of them $5 and said they could spend it on something for themselves or they could give it to Santa Claus, raising money for the Sally Ann.
They all chose to give the $5 away.
We should have given it to the Food Drive.
Well, now I know better.
Don’t feel bad; until I found out about this last year, I used to put money in their kettles every damned Christmas. The important thing is to stop as soon as we find the truth, and spread the word to others. If you like, you can print out this graphic to send a message to the Salvation Army in the future.
Maggie,
I read your article from 12-6-2010 where you wrote;
But his popularity and greatest fame derives not from these miracles, but from the mundane acts of kindness he was well-known for, such as dropping coins in the shoes of poor parishioners left outside to dry overnight. Obviously, this practice is the source of the legend about Saint Nicholas leaving presents in children’s shoes (later stockings), but his association with whores is related to another of his legendary traits – that of bringing presents down chimneys.
I think one of the most poignant re-tellings of this in literature is in Hugo’s “Les
Miserables” where Jean Valjean does this for Cosette at Thernardier’s Inn by depositing silver in her old wooden clogs.
Frankly, I’m not surprised that the patron saint of Christmas generosity and the patron saint of prostitutes is the same person. Christmas has always gotten a certain amount of grief from puritans, and it is currently fashionable to condemn the holiday as being about consumerism (these anti-consumerists are just another group who think that people should live spare, austere and deprived existences). Of course Christmas is really about generosity, it’s one of the few holidays where you demonstrate how important you are by how generous you are.
By itself, that might not raise the Puritan’s ire, but Christmas also commits the same unforgivable sin that prostitutes commit.
They are both a Hell of a lot of fun:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/144/327822125_09abe42f99.jpg
Heh …
http://www.campusreform.org/blog/?ID=4534
St Nicholas the Wonderworker is the patron saint of the Byzantine Church, too, and so most Byzantine churches have an icon of St Nicholas on their iconostasis.
One legend about St Nicholas is that, at the Council of I Nicaea, Arius was speaking and St Nicholas walked over to him and slapped him for uttering blasphemy.
St Nicholas was expelled from the Council for that but later readmitted.
Whoa, I got quoted. I’m famous!
I think that the whole mythos of Santa Claus, though redistributionist, is still beautiful.
I don’t think he’s “redistributionist” per se – he’s giving gifts because he wants to. And so far as I know, he’s never stolen from anyone else to get the money to give them.
Maybe I got him mixed up with Robin Hood?
Santa with a longbow…
Alan O’Dale, Will Scarlet and Little John as Elves…
EEK!
LOL!
He may not be a merry man, but he’s who I’d want on my side in a fight.
Plus, Santa has a lot in common with prostitution. He is also all about giving of himself to make other people happy.
I absolutely loved your article. As we say in the navy “Bravo Zulu”. I never knew St. Nick was the patron saint of prostitutes, but I used to carry a medallion of him as the patron saint of sailors. Seems to me fitting and appropriate that he is the patron saint of both prostitutes and sailors.