Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. – Neale Donald Walsch
Everyone has a comfort zone, an imaginary “space” within which events and human reactions are generally predictable and unchallenging. And while such spaces are essential for the smooth function of daily life, they do nothing to promote growth and development because those are driven by confronting adversity and overcoming obstacles. This is especially important in activism; as Furry Girl has often pointed out, most sex worker rights advocates restrict themselves to the “sex-positive” or feminist bubbles, or at most build bridges with other marginalized groups like gay rights or drug user communities. But this is not remotely enough; we need to reach out to “normal” people, especially those who are in a position to either disseminate their views (such as journalists and academics) or influence policy (such as lawyers, medical professionals and government actors like cops). This is why, despite disapproval from some individuals, I have consistently concentrated on the things that make sex workers similar to most people (rather than those which make us different), and worked to create a space in which people from all walks of life (rather than just the usual pro-sex-work ones) are welcome.
Last week I had a wonderful opportunity; I was invited to participate in a symposium on the topic of “human trafficking” at the Albany Law School in Albany, New York. As I explained last week, this was outside my comfort zone in a number of ways: I had never before been to New York and never before spoken in front of so many people who were neither sex workers nor generally considered allies; the symposium’s title (“Voiceless Cargo: Human Trafficking and Sex Slavery in the Modern Era”) caused me to suspect that my views might not be welcomed by some of the panelists and audience members; and worst of all, I would have to face the prospect of air travel for the first time in a decade. And while the latter was even worse than I feared, the symposium itself was better and much more rewarding than I had dared to hope.
Some of you may be wondering why I’m so terrified of air travel. It’s not just a phobia, though I do suffer from that; it’s also that, as I’ve mentioned a couple of times before, I’m unusually prone to vertigo. Any kind of rapid, unanticipated motion makes me dizzy and extremely nauseated, so you can imagine how I feel on planes even when the flight is smooth (which absolutely NONE of the legs of this trip were). It was bad enough when the planes were mostly overgrown buses in the sky, but now that rising fuel costs have caused most of the big ones to be replaced with Flying Pencil-Cases of Doom it’s much worse. So although many people (especially the steward on my first outgoing flight, my seatmate on the flight into Albany and the stewardess on my last flight home) were kinder and more solicitous of my welfare than one ever expects from strangers, I’ll be taking rental cars or trains to my speaking engagements in the future!
Things improved practically from the moment I arrived in Albany. I was picked up by Andrew Woodman, the symposium’s organizer; he drove very slowly, checked me in at the hotel and made my apologies to the other guests at the welcome reception while I slept off the trip for the next twelve hours. I awoke feeling much better and my student ambassador, Craig Mackey, guided me to the luncheon and the symposium itself. He, Andrew, and all the students and faculty I met were extremely friendly and enthusiastic; I was made to feel very welcome and very honored before, during and after the actual event. My talk was very well-received and the organizers later told me that every student they had spoken to afterward thanked them for inviting me to the symposium; for hours after its conclusion I spoke to many students, professors and other guests, and even the very few who disagreed with some of what I said were extremely respectful and approached me in a spirit of professional debate rather than dismissal of my views.
The most pleasant surprise for me was the discovery that some of the other speakers’ positions were closer to mine than I could have predicted. I was especially impressed with Professor Rashida Manjoo, the UN Special Rapporteur for Violence Against Women; among the high points of her keynote lecture for me were her statement that the US and many European countries seem more interested in “trafficking” as an excuse to restrict immigration than as a genuine concern for the human rights of migrants; the observation that victims’ benefits are usually contingent upon cooperation with law enforcement, thus making it impossible to determine their true experiences; and the fact that government funding (especially in the US) is tied to “trafficking”, thus encouraging police departments to classify many more activities as “trafficking” than a proper definition would allow. This last point was also raised by Dr. Ruby Andrew of Southern University (Baton Rouge), and expanded upon at length by Dr. Jean Allain of Queen’s University (Belfast), who also covered ground similar to that I did in “The Lion and the Ox” and “Law of the Instrument” (though far more diplomatically): he used the term “moral panic”, demonstrated that the “trafficking” paradigm has been applied to widely-differing phenomena that were previously considered different things, and explained that the term is used so indiscriminately across so many countries that it’s difficult to know what any given source actually means by it.
Even some of the law enforcement people both on the panels and in the audience seemed very interested in my views; I collected a number of cards and gave out as many promises to answer their questions via telephone or email. I’m not sure whether it was just a matter of my charisma and/or oratorical skill, because several distinguished panelists’ opinions agreed with mine to some degree, or because I merely gave voice to some long-held doubts in their own minds; perhaps it was all of the above. But in any case I found it extremely heartening that a sex worker’s views were not only heard, but obviously taken seriously, and may be deeply considered in the future. Perhaps we are seeing the beginning of the end of the hysteria, and the first glimmerings of more just and humane treatment of sex workers; if so, I’m honored to have played a tiny part in it and feel that it was well worth leaving my comfort zone to accomplish.
But if it’s all the same to everyone, the next time I do so it will be in a vehicle whose wheels don’t leave the ground.
Congratulations! Meclizine helps but can make you drowsy. Thank you for providing a glimpse into your experience and adventure.
I used to use meclizine, but it sedates me so badly I have to lie down and one usually can’t lie down in these tiny modern planes (though I managed it by a miracle and an agreeable stewardess in my last flight home). If I can’t sleep, it puts me in this weird delirium almost as bad as the vertigo. So though I think it’s great for post-surgical nausea, it’s not so good for air travel. This time my doc tried me on prochlorperazine, which wasn’t nearly as sedating but also didn’t work very well (though it did control the aftereffects once I was actually on the ground).
You probably have, but for just in case not. Have you tried going to a good reputable younger ENT? In my case it was similar symptoms with recurring sinus infections and migraines for over ten years. A switch in jobs with the resultant change of insurance and doctors caused a realization that due to a minor otolaryngical defect the infection was never totally cleared up. A minor surgery (which my old doctor discouraged as to much trouble) and three months of different antibiotics and there have been no migraines an only a couple of minor colds in over fourteen years. Though it did take about a year to get used to things working differently.
It is kind of like what you mention in your article, while going to the same old familar doctor results in the same treatments we are used to and that work to a degree. If we challenge ourselves with new doctors and treatments they can result in a positive change. And just in case someone brings this up it doesn’t need to be applied one hundred percent. I have had the same GP for almost twenty years and it was her advice to go ahead with the new treatment that gave me the courage to try the surgery.
I have had sinus infections and migraines my whole life, and I do believe there is a defect in my ENT system (for reasons too numerous & complex to explain). But elective surgeries cost a lot of money that I don’t have at this time.
Well then you will just have to wait for your Obamacare to kick in. (Pleade appreciate the sarcasm)
😉
Or go to France or Norway or Japan and have it done. Even with the cost of the trip, it’s probably cheaper than having it done here.
You mean, FLY to France or Norway or Japan? Methinks you haven’t been following the conversation, sugar. 😉
There’s this fantastic device called a “ship” which… 😉
At least until the Bering Straight Tunnel is built.
I just hate flying…….. is there a video or podcast , etc of the symp? It sound like a small light might be glowing. Great job
There was a video, but as of today the podcast still says “coming soon”. I’ll post in TW3 as soon as it’s available.
great!! put the pod on the web site.
Well … what do you know? This went well. I really didn’t think it would.
Well, you and I have never met and all I know about you are the things you write … and babe – some of your stuff is pretty miltaristic! Take that as a complement.
But … I’m guessing that – in person – you’re probably a lot more disarming to folks than your printed words might suggest.
Well thanks for doing this … and don’t become complacent. The wolves are always right around the corner – staking out the next conference. Only takes the right set of circumstances and they’ll jump out and bite!!
Have you ever flown business class? Seriously the experience is night and day compared to coach. You can actually SLEEP in business. I’ll fly from Tokyo to Detroit – about 15 hours? And when I land I’m good enough to keep going.
Don’t become a John Madden – you may have to do a conference in Hawaii one day and … you can’t drive. Though – I still know some submariners in San Diego and they’d kill themselves for a chance to traffic you under the seas on a trip to the Aloha state!! Submariners do it deeper ya know! 😉
I’m definitely more charming and disarming in person than in print; several people have told me so. The second leg of the flight to Albany was in first class, and guess what? Practically no difference. That section of the plane doesn’t shake, bump and bounce any less than coach does, though I did have more room to cover my head with a blanket so nobody had to see me being sick into a bag, and there was room to hang my fake mink so I didn’t get yucch all over it.
Goddam … you spilled your cookies?!! Yeah … stick to the ground!!! 😀
When I was in my 30s I could sometimes make it through a flight without throwing up, but the planes were bigger and steadier then. And once I start, I don’t stop until I’ve had hours of sleep.
> “I’m definitely more charming and disarming in person than in print; several people have told me so.”
That’s not too terribly surprising — I would imagine a large part of your old job required it.
Glad to hear it went well. Like Krulac, I was skeptical. I’m curious if there’s a video of your talk available anywhere. (or audio, if you don’t want to post your face online)
There will be a podcast; I posted the link in a response higher up the thread.
I guess we’ll never see you in Ireland, then. But if you think that road travel here will sort your vertigo, you’re in for a big shock. It’s not just that roads are built on bogs, so they collapse and are switchbacks. They are also full of potholes (north and south) that we have no money to fix. It’s more like driving over a moonscape these days.
Congrats on your presentation!
Sounds a lot like NEW ORLEANS!! LOL
I never get sick if I’m driving, and rarely if I’m in the front seat. The back seat is much worse, though still better than flying.
The ex-OH is the only person I know who can make herself carsick when driving. And, she makes all of us sick, all the time. She’s totally unaware of this. (There are only two positions for the accelerator or the brakes: on and off; nothing inbetween.)
Wow! You really ARE a bad traveler! Well, I’m glad you made the trip, and here’s hoping that you find the right therapies to make it easier in the future, because on the basis of what I saw, you should be doing more of this sort of thing.
I was fortunate to be in the neighborhood when I discovered you were participating in a symposium nearby, and I dropped everything for a few hours and attended your session. I can vouch for the quality of your presentation and the very positive audience response. I’m happy to hear that the feedback you received from other participants was positive too. Frankly, I thought your presentation was the most coherent and informative in your session, and no doubt the feedback reflected the audience’s appreciation that you didn’t ramble aimlessly and pointlessly for 10 minutes longer than the allotted time, like the cop that preceded you. No doubt your great feedback reflected both the quality of the presentation and the novel-to-many perspectives.
I’m only sorry that I couldn’t stick around to meet you, but I had to fly the next morning myself. Thankfully, I don’t have the same problems with air travel!
I’ve found that my presentations are better when I conceive of them as I do my columns, organic wholes which grow rather than things I assemble from parts. And because I know that I do have a tendency to go on if I’m not stopped, I asked Craig to keep an eye on the time and hand-signal me when I had two minutes left, thus allowing me to wrap up.
As for travelling, I live within a day’s drive of the geographical center of the 48 states, and can easily get anywhere from Washington DC to Los Angeles in two days in a rental car. The only places that will require more than that are the Northeast, Northwest and southern Florida, and it looks like I can get to almost any of those places within two days by train for comparable cost to an airline ticket; that shouldn’t present any financial problems to the organizers of such events. Just for comparison I looked at Albany via train; I would have had to leave home a day earlier, but would’ve arrived three hours earlier in perfect health.
Did you have a conversation with the prosecutor who spoke in your session? She seemed to represent the party line and I’m curious what she had to say to you, or vice versa…
She told me twice (once before and once at the reception) that she wants to discuss the issue with me and would contact me through the blog, but I haven’t heard from her as of yet.
Glad it went well – just wondering, how did you feel about discarding your cloak of anonymity? And did you avoid photos and filming?
Well, I didn’t actually discard my cloak; after all, nobody there knows my real name. I asked them not to zoom in on my face during filming, and as far as I know they did so because someone on Twitter complained that the camera kept showing my hands. The local newspaper story (linked in the symposium’s name above) did feature a picture that the reporter took without permission, but it’s so horizontally distorted I don’t think anyone who didn’t already know me could recognize me (it’s a really awful photo).
YAY! I’m so glad this was a positive experience and that all involved acted like intelligent, reasonable adults. This gives me a lot of hope for the future as far as interacting with academics who give further credibility to the movement.
In all my experiences in flying, flying east was always a bumpy ride. The worst time I had once was flying from Chicago to Detroit. I agree about these plane sizes. I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis and it was a plane was essentially a roller skate with wheels. I mean, the flight attendant just told us to “pass the drinks up the aisle” because it was too narrow for a drink cart. Oh Northwest Airlines. How I don’t miss you.
My second leg outgoing was Chicago to Albany, so I was just a few miles away from you Wednesday afternoon! However, even had you been in the airport I’m afraid I’d have made a very poor impression on you. Luckily, I’m DRIVING to Desiree. 😉
Aww, that’s okay. Especially if you had to go through O’Hare. That airport always drives me up the wall.
Whichever one most United flights go through; I presume it was O’Hare, but I was too sick to care at the time. 🙁
Good to know it went well. I sometimes feel like the anti-SW veneer is thinner than it looks and maybe this indicates it is so. Looking forward to you posting the video of the event (as well as, hopefully, future speaking engagements). I always like them because it’s another data point on the “Hey, Maggie really is who she says she is!” scale. 🙂
Re: travelling. My wife gets motion sick too. One thing she’s found very useful is fixing her eyes on a horizon. It keeps your eyes and inner ears closer to telling you the same story. On the big planes, we’re often between seats. After she had to use the vomit bag once, I suggested using a water bottle as an artificial horizon and it worked well.
Oh, and “flying pencil cases of doom” is a great name for those tiny commuter flights. Also, a good name for a band.
I must admit I kept giving myself the giggles every time I read that sentence during proofing. 🙂
Glad the trip went well and certainly looking forward to the archived podcast. As a fellow bad-flyer I can empathize with your plight. Apparently my ears are quite sensitive to pressure changes; even a two-hour flight is enough to leave me in agony for 24-hours after landing. It’s a big reason why I rarely attend conferences.
…motion sickness and migraines go hand in hand
Glad it went well. Maybe light at end of tunnel.
Here is seattle, it feels like the panic is being heavily financed. Most busses have trafficking ads. And there was a high pr bust by Bellevue cops on Asian girls.
What disheartens me is the local message board had a big debate on whether the girls were trafficked and better off now.
No. Trafficking isn’t even defined. They may have been economically exploited, and it is reasonable before the bust to say other punters should avoid business because you disagree with how the girls are treated.
But, after the fact, they just went from potentially exploited to the us law enforcement and immigration hell. In no way did it help any of those women, and if the were being economically exploited, that problem probably got worse as well. Same debt, lower paying punters back home in Asia.
So some good news welcome. The criminality and trafficking panic makes it difficult for punters to know and avoid businesses that are exploitive of their workers.
I will join with Aspasia in stating that I am very happy you had a far more positive experience than you expected. The whole symposium could have been the moral equivalent of walking into a Taliban ambush, without the benefit of artillery or air support.;-)
As I have started my research on my new article on professional sex providers and trafficking, my initial take (which may change as I get more involved in research) is that trafficking of individuals for non-sexual purposes outweighs trafficking for sex in the Western Democracies somewhere around 8 or 10 to one. Domestic servants and sweatshop labor are the main beneficiaries of this revolting practice.
The figure quoted by my fellow panelist, Dr. Sun Pinghua, was 9 to 1, which is dead center of your estimate.
That’s in the neighborhood of what I’ve seen in academic papers, though I haven’t spent much time interrogating those numbers.
I’m so glad it went so well. I hope you get to do more of these things.
I’m really hoping I’ll get a chance to attend when you come to Oklahoma State, but that will depend on precisely when and where it occurs.
I forgot to respond to your previous query about it! Yes, I’ll be at the main campus in Stillwater on April 23rd; I’ll email the professor whose class I’ll be guest-lecturing in to see if it’s OK if a visitor sits in on the class.
[…] soul-searching and even changes of heart from moderates. On February 28th, I spoke at a symposium at Albany Law School and was not only enthusiastically received, but found several academics and a UN official whose […]
My thanks to both Maggie and Kevin. It is nice to know that the figures I have dug up so far seem to be in the right neighborhood. thank you both once again.
I hope this little incident hasn’t put you off of flying. Statistically speaking, of course, it’s still the safest way to travel.
I’m glad the symposium went well. I knew that YOU would do well, but I was less confident of the other people, who I of course know nothing about.
Oh, I remember reading that people never got sick on the old zeppelins. Perhaps because they were huge and massive? I’d like to see really big airships come back. OK kind of jumped off topic, but hey.
In 2003, I swore never to fly again; I kept that promise until this Symposium. I swore even more earnestly this time, so you can be pretty sure I will never again set foot on one of those awful contraptions unless someone’s life depends on it. As for “safety”, I’m sure you know by now that’s a meaningless argument to me.
If we’d get hopping with maglev (which the US invented but didn’t follow up on) or airships (which the US didn’t invent and didn’t follow up on near as much as we should of) we’d have more options for traveling.
Heck, even genuine high speed rail.
I was kind of expecting somebody to catch the quote.
I am ambivalent about flight, and have not done so in 45 years. My last flying experience was on an Icelandic Airlines turoprop, over the North Atlantic in late March. We hit a storm that was so bad, even one of the stewardesses threw up. Please God, grant that we see the investment in a high-speed rail system by the Federal government comparable to the investment for the transcontinental railroad 150 years ago.
It may not be as dramatic as watching the Man of Steel catch a helicopter or airliner out of the sky, but yeah, high speed rail, maglev, and airships, please.
Maglev tracks are really, REALLY expensive. And just because the train doesn’t touch them doesn’t mean they aren’t subjected to a lot of stress. They will need maintenance.
Outside of the northeast corridor and a few pairs of cities here and there, there just isn’t anywhere it belongs in the US. We’re too widely spaced.
And on the NE corridor, to fit in the maglev you’d need to rip out one of the two sets of tracks over long stretches of track. For the more heavily traveled half of New Jersey, it’d be very very awkward to widen the right of way to restore local service.
Maglev has its places, but the USA, for the most part, isn’t one.
I think the price can be brought down by making it less of a “custom job every time” sort of thing and more of a mass production sort of thing. Of course, if we’re talking expensive, then let’s have maglev VACUUM trains! 800 MPH (1287.5 KmPH) in any weather, Dallas to Houston in 17 minutes, New York to Los Angeles in 3 hours.
But OK, how about 200 MPH (322 KmPH) rail? The US is a country which could really benefit from truly high speed rail, and we’re not doing it.