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Archive for the ‘Guest Columns’ Category

Guest Columnist: Whoretographer

Posted in Biography, Guest Columns, Perception, tagged , , , , , on February 13, 2017| Leave a Comment »

Though I’ve been aware of Whoretography for some time, the release of her e-magazine inspired me to ask her to contribute a guest column and she graciously obliged me.  I encourage you to explore her website, to buy a copy of her e-magazine and to help support the project via GoFundMe.

whoretography1I am addicted to photography; it’s a lifelong obsession of mine that began as a 2-year-old with the death of my father.  When you lose a parent as a baby, the only connection you can form with that parent is through imagery.  The last photograph before his death, the only one of us together, him proudly sitting on his 1970s motorbike.  His death sparked my purpose in life.  Now I am a documentary photographer, masters student, sex worker & activist interested in challenging the victim-centered nature of sex worker imagery on-line and how photography is instrumental the online sale of sex.  I know my father would be proud of me.

I bought my first camera when I was 12 and I have never been without one since; even when I was homeless for 18 months, I refused to sell my last camera.  My mother evidently thought photography was just a phase adolescent girls go through, because I was not permitted to study photography at secondary school; I went on to graduate with an undergraduate degree in Biochemistry and Genetics, Post Graduate in Criminology and a Graduate Diploma in Small Business Management.  I put photography to one side in this period, prioritising an institutionally-defined career in criminal justice, and I moved countries; I sold and traded cameras to pay rent, tuition and one-way tickets to London and Paris.  Finally, in April 2005, I followed my passion and become a full-time photographer; I also started as a sex worker the very same day.  And because photography is so ingrained in my psyche, I eventually managed to make sex work about photography too.  I simply refused to follow the photographic rules which dictated that in order to sell sex, I must photograph myself naked or semi-naked and bent over a table clutching my tits.  So, to stand out from the blowjob crowd in an industry that demanded the use of photography, I said no to selfies and soft porn boudoir imagery and instead harnessed the power of pop culture and iconic imagery to sell the essence of the girlfriend experience.  My reasoning was simple; I am not selling my body, so why do you need photographs of my body?  This initial rebellion against sex industry photographic expectations kick-started my fascination with the role photography plays in the online transaction of sex.

whoretography0212 years later, I am now an award winning published photographer, a sex worker and a master’s student undertaking research in sex work activism through the Whoretography project.   It’s difficult to pinpoint where exactly Whoretography began, but it was somewhere between realising I was in the business of a photographic conspiracy in which my camera was acting as an agent for the falsehood of couple cohesion and intimacy, and the idea of documenting paid-for sexual intimacy as the antidote to the visual falsehoods of wedding photography.  Whoretography sits nicely at the intersection of images, technologies, society and the sex worker rights movement.  It’s the first academic, ethnographic and creative platform dedicated solely to understanding the role photography plays in sex work via self-publishing as an artistic practice.  The objectives frame a body of creative work that takes the form of a collection of soon to be published photo and artist books, zines and the recently launched Whoretography E – Magazine.  My visual activism is about exploring a set of research questions through a mixed methodology approach designed to challenge the prevailing ideology of sex-work and to present to the viewer an alternative perception of the industry and its participants.  I wish to stop the over-simplification of the lives of cis, trans and non-binary sex workers, and to challenge current imagery that encourages the sense that the only way of interpreting the lives of sex workers is to see them as ripe for “rescue”.  This narrow and particular visual representation of male oppression reproduces a politics of pity that is embedded in the visual representation of sex workers; it suggests only pity makes sense as a political, social and cultural response.

I work within the photographic genre of found imagery, with other peoples’ photographic material and written documents.  The material for Whoretography is sourced using cyberethnographic methods; however, online interactions alone are insufficient to develop a deep understanding of the visuals of the sex worker online community.  So I’ve conducted offline research consisting of qualitative interviews with internet based sex workers, and their customers in the United Kingdom, Australia and the United States of America.  Found photography allows for an editorial style in which I can act as both as editor and author; this is not common when working with sex work imagery.  Standard approaches to visually representing sex workers include photo-voice, wherein sex workers themselves create the photographs (typically of their workspaces), and photo-essay; the publishing world is awash with photo essays that, for example, take a sneaky look inside brothels.  I wanted to avoid these visual clichés.  Working with found images means constructing new narratives from seemingly unconnected photographs to provoke critical dialogue about sex work and present an alternative view of sex work.  It allows me to take the discussion of sex worker imagery from the realms of the sex work community and place it in the wider community.  Fundamental to this goal is deconstructing the visual vocabulary of sex work imagery online to investigate the overarching questions, “Is it possible to reclaim the word ‘whore’ through creative practice as research?” and “What role does photography play in contemporary online sexual consumption?”  I have an interest in ensuring photography is relevant in the fight for the full decriminalisation of sex work.  We must celebrate the fact that sex workers are now image makers; we must challenge the exclusion of sex workers from online visual spaces; and we must talk about the posthumous humiliation of sex workers via the standard practice of releasing morgue photos.  The prohibitionist war on sex work is underpinned by their belief that their photographic rhetoric is photographic truth, and we must name the game when it comes to the middle-class masses being in an uproar about the apparent gentrification of sex work via some mythical photoshop gentrification tool.

whoretography03I wonder if I have made this article sound too clinical and academic, but it has not been an easy two years.  I have an overwhelming sadness for some of what I have seen; people’s understanding of sex work is based on a carefully constructed visual lie.  The media are in cahoots with exclusionary bullies to peddle that lie, and it bloody royally pisses me off that middle-class feminists seek to deny sex workers access to the digital revolution and visual online spaces.  I undertook a Master’s Degree because I was seeking a better theoretical understanding of my craft, and in stepping away from weddings I unwittingly stumbled across my life’s photographic purpose.  I am committed to setting up a visual activist platform and sex work-positive publishing house.  I have amassed over 20,000 images and a lot of what I have seen makes me cry.  I have seen child abuse victims marketed as teen sex workers; prohibitionists create rescue images with a tonal quality reminiscent of colonial missionaries “saving the natives from themselves”; the publication and subsequent outing of sex workers by newspapers; the dire consequences of the pixilated face in propelling stigma; and the shaming of sex workers as a police tactic to help in the gentrification of up and coming hipster neighbourhoods.  The way people have weaponised the camera as a tool of violence against sex workers is in marked contrast to the way we use the camera as an agent for couple cohesion in wedding photography.  I am on a mission to shift the political landscape of sex work by forcing people to understand its visual landscape.  Photography is currently used to silence the intentions, actions and feelings of sex workers and to make their lives more precarious; we need to change this, and I hope you will help me to make this happen.

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Guest Columnist: Kate Lister

Posted in Guest Columns, History, Miscellaneous, Perception, tagged , , , , , on January 9, 2017| 4 Comments »

Dr. Kate Lister runs the wonderful, informative and entertaining Whores of Yore Twitter account, and when she recently decided to start a website to go with it I invited her to tell my readers about it.  Kate’s mission is much the same as mine: to demystify and destigmatize sex work by improving communication between sex workers and the general public.

whores-of-yore-logoLast month, on International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers (2016), I launched the Whores of Yore website; it was the culmination of a year’s hard work on a wonderful project that took me completely unawares.  Whores of Yore grew out of a Twitter feed, that grew out of a research project on medieval sexuality, that grew out of a PhD into women and medievalism.  I am a post-doctoral researcher at Leeds Trinity University (UK) and was reading into medieval attitudes surrounding sexual sin, when I found a London court record from 1340 of two “notorious strumpets”; Alice Strumpette and Clarice la Claterballock.  I thought that was just wonderful.  The wry wit in the aliases made me laugh, as I am sure they were supposed to.  But, beyond being funny, the fact that such names would be adopted said more about sex work in the fourteenth century then many academic texts I have read; there was a real humanity to it.  I started the Twitter feed @WhoreofYore to share snapshots of history like that.

I had not foreseen any interest in the feed, but very quickly the followers grew and online articles began to be published about the content.  I started getting feedback from followers who were reacting to the material I was posting in ways I could have never predicted.  Twitter is a great leveller; your voice is on an equal footing with everyone else, and the feedback is instant.  In the beginning, getting daily, uncensored and anonymous feedback about your work is daunting, but I learnt to listen, to respond and serve.  I do get trolled, but follower feedback also made the feed better; it encouraged me to break away from a western focus, include more trans voices and bring in a daily dose of #HistoricalHottie (photographs of handsome men from history to balance up the eye-candy on offer).  But, what changed my research was that Twitter allowed me to engage directly with the sex worker community.  Suddenly, the history I was researching was no longer dead and buried; it was correcting my terminology on Twitter, and calling me a cunt when I got things wrong.  Without realising it, I had been guilty of viewing sex work only through a historical, academic lens; it wasn’t real to me.  But when a sex worker from Australiawhores-of-yore-screencap made contact with me to say she enjoyed the feed, but please could I stop using the word “prostitute” and use “sex worker” instead, I finally got it.  History is powerful because it frames contemporary debate, but it is not to be archived away and accessible only to (well meaning) academics; it should engage with lives today.  I was using the word “prostitute” in a clinical, academic way, but that perpetuated narratives that exists outside of historical research and the ivory tower.  That was the moment that I saw a project that could make history relevant to contemporary issues.  I wanted @WhoresofYore to facilitate an active process of feedback, reciprocal communication and attribution between sex workers, historians, activists, and anyone else who had a view to express.

As sex workers are stigmatised, often criminalized people, historically, they have had little opportunity to speak without intermediaries.  Rather, their stories and voices have been assumed by journalists, activists, and academics (like myself – the irony is not lost on me).  However, with the advent of social media platforms, this is rapidly changing; social media has allowed sex workers a public voice, a space to engage with those speaking for them and about them, like never before.  Online sex worker communities have been formed, alliances made and agendas set.  “Nothing about us without us” is the mantra of the sex worker rights movement; the web and social media provide a platform for the sex worker voice to be heard, and invited academics to genuinely listen to the group they research.  I wanted to build on this dynamic with a website and further bridge the gap between academic, historical research, and the sex worker voice; I hoped the website would create a space that enabled a process of democratisation and facilitate a discussion, rather than a lecture into the study and history of sexuality.

I wanted the website to feature articles on the history of sexuality and sex workers, but to retain an emphasis on sexuality and contemporary voices.  To that end, I created a several article sections: sex history, sex talk, sex worker voices, LGBT History, politics and the law and an interactive timeline of sex workers throughout history.  I put out a call for article submissions on the Twitter feed, and articles started to roll in.  I have been extremely fortunate and BASIS Yorkshire (a charity who work with street sex workers and some of the most vulnerable members of the sex work community) have agreed to write a monthly blog about their work.  BASIS is very private and protective of the people they work with, so to be able to facilitate a space for them is a real honour.  I also have a sex therapist, Drew Lawson, who is regularly blogging on the site and answering all kinds of questions about sexuality.  I work with the archivist at Delta of Venus, the web’s largest collection of vintage erotica, to bring a selection of historical pornographic images.

kate-listerBut, this is only the beginning.  So far, the project has been entirely self-funded, but I am looking into investment to grow.  The project will expand to include podcasts, vlogging and interviews with historians, activists, members of the sex work community, and those who feel they are marginalised by their sexuality.  The history of sexuality will be placed side by side with sexuality today in the hope we can join up some of those conversations.  The purpose of this archive is not to create a goldfish bowl for others to stare into, but to provide a platform and invite people to share their experience and story; if you have an article to bring to the conversation, please email me.  Shame and stigma are broken down through conversation, and when we listen to one another; I hope that’s what this project can play a part in.  As Shannon L. Alder once wrote, “Never be ashamed of who you are.  True shame always belongs to the person that enjoys being ashamed of who you are.”

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Guest Columnist: Eva Keene

Posted in Current Events, Guest Columns, Perception, Tyranny on December 12, 2016| 4 Comments »

Eva Keene is an independent escort in Las Vegas.  You can also follow her on Twitter.

backpage-shame-gameThe arrest of Backpage CEO Carl Ferrer earlier this year highlights the contested nature of—and mechanisms used for—exchanging sexual services for money, much like the raid on MyRedbook.com in 2014, the raid on RentBoy.com in 2015 and the raid on TheReviewBoard.net early this year.  The anti-trafficking narrative propagated by popular media anti-sex work activists stands in stark contrast to the “sex work as work” narrative expressed by many independent sex workers.  We need look only as far as Twitter to see heated debates about privacy, safety, and unabashed opinions about individuals involved in various aspects of the sex industry.  Yet, while discourses about the exchange of intimacy and/or sex for money have come to form part of the contemporary metanarratives about class, gender, morality, economics, power, and politics in American society, many of these conversations are over-simplified and under-representative of sex worker experiences.  This results in misleading public narratives about the nature of sex work, including those countering characterizations of “controlling pimps,” the “pathetic john” or the “coercive client.”

Aside from review boards, social media platforms such as Twitter and personal blogs serve as outlets for these discourses, or lack thereof.  One that caught more attention than usual was a comment I tweeted on September 28th: “I don’t sell sex.  I sell an experience; an opportunity to be honest, vulnerable, unjudged, in which eroticism is celebrated.  It’s different.”  For most people, my tweet was apparently taken at face value; a heartfelt proclamation of my philosophy and the service I offer.  For others, I imagine it could have been interpreted as an insensitive perpetuation of the whorearchy—a tiered system that communicates a positional hierarchy among sex workers.  Despite receiving affirmative like after like, my critical mind started rolling not long after posting the comment, and the part of me that’s sensitive to classist posing among online sex workers began analyzing my own statement.  Is selling an “experience” really any different from selling sex?  Was I insinuating there’s something wrong with selling sex?  My initial self-criticism was interrupted shortly thereafter by a realization that had been largely lost on me until this point:  This—the voice of middle-class sex workers—is a voice we hear amongst each other in the echo chambers of social media, but it’s not one we utilize well enough in public discourses about sex work.  Like it or not, if anyone can help change attitudes about sex work and sex workers, it’s the privileged “elite escorts” who have the clout to do it.  In a society that associates status and class (even if it is a relative hierarchy of class within an otherwise discredited group) with having a “worthy” voice, the lady who charges $400/hour stands a higher chance of being listened to or taken seriously in the public domain than women who work outdoors or primarily through sites like Backpage.

My realization about the potential impact privileged escorts’ voices could have in public discourse about sex work and sex workers’ rights was further solidified when I stumbled upon an article, “The modern john got himself a queer nanny”, in Feminist Current.  The author makes one point we should pay attention to, one on which I contend disputants on both sides of the fence can agree:  prostitutes’ narratives matter.  This major point of divergence, then, is about which prostitutes’ narratives and why.  For example, Ekman refers to the recently published book, Prostitution Narratives: Stories of Survival in the Sex Trade, to push her anti-prostitution agenda.  The stories are horrific, but they are no more representative of the totality of sex workers’ experiences than a book entitled Prostitution Narratives: Stories of Thriving in the Sex Industry.  The problem is, nobody has published a book like the latter.  Ekman’s expose also seeks to vilify the female academic—the alleged “sex buyer’s nanny” and supposedly misguided feminist at the forefront of international sex work discourse, accused of disrupting “pure” feminist efforts by strategically diverting attention from the sex buyer to the erotic provider.  However, let us not ignore the fact that the female academic Ekman vilifies might very well be a sex worker herself.  Lisa Ordell, Tara Burns, Zahra Stardust and our hostess are just a few examples of women who have worked both in the sex industry and as scholars; I know that many, many more do so using stage names and aliases (points to self).  As such, the voices of middle class sex worker/scholars who refuse to characterize clients as inherently harmful (or inherently anything) emerge from experiences in the sex industry that are just as legitimate as the stories pushed by anti-prostitution crusaders.

The anti-prostitution narrative is far from germane to all manners of sex work, yet it is applied indiscriminately as if all women are either trafficked or victims of patriarchal false consciousness.  But if we accept Ekman’s myopic argument about growth of the survivors’ movement, then we must also acknowledge the growth of the sex worker rights movement, and we must seek to incorporate these voices into dialogues that improve conditions for all sex workers.  Contrary to what feminists like Ekman might have us believe, recognizing sex work as a form of labor doesn’t preclude us from considering issues such as exploitation, labor market segregation, and inequality.  To the contrary, the failure of policy discourses to recognize sex work as work actually impedes the development of initiatives to improve labor rights and working conditions (Pitcher, 2014).  These issues—as opposed to vilifying academics and clients—are the ones we should be focused on.

The only “john” Ekman recognizes is, “the man who will command and expect his every whim to be catered to, but will not take responsibility for what he does.”  She is clearly drawing a stereotype from one locus of the industry, and is it any surprise?  Anti-prostitution rhetoric paints an image of the sort of man who pays for sex (never mind companionship), and those narratives go largely unchallenged by any counter-narratives from within the industry.  Why?  In large part, because middle class sex worker stories are not being widely shared, let alone in ways that could benefit all sex workers.  This has to change.  Ladies, do you actually like your clients?  Talk about the men who pay you for whatever consensual services you provide, without compromising their anonymity.  Write blogs.  Create sex worker-led organizations that show public appreciation for, rather than denigrate, the gentleman you see.  Tell the world, even if it must be through a pen name or alias, that clients are real people too.  Gentleman, please consider the role you play in the industry as well.  Do you speak up against misogynystic words or behaviors when you see them, or are you content to let bygones be bygones?  The latter is certainly easier, but at what cost?  What butterfly-effect consequence does inaction have on the women you appreciate in the industry?rick-pettit  I certainly understand the risk associated with publishing a blog like Rick Pettit’s “My Name is Rick, not John” and wouldn’t expect 99% of the gentleman I see to dare such a brave task, but I hope that a certain amount of mindfulness and intentionality would at least prevail in its stead.  As a very wise client reflected back to me once, “You’re much more of an advocate than an activist,” and he couldn’t have been more spot-on.  I’m much too much of a relativist to feel comfortable telling people what they “should” do, instead preferring the approach of empowering people to make the best possible choices for them.  But the fact remains that if we want sex work to be regarded as legitimate work, we need to be willing to speak about our work, and we have to help change the popular narrative that paints clients as abusive miscreants.  Because even if you never advertised on Backpage, the public opinions and policies that underlie its demonization do have impacts across the entire spectrum of sex work.

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Guest Columnist: Desmond Ravenstone

Posted in Guest Columns, Perception, tagged , , on November 14, 2016| 8 Comments »

Desmond Ravenstone is an activist and organizer with more than thirty years of experience, from his student days at Oberlin College, to the marriage equality movement in Massachusetts and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.  Knowing his reputation, I was very pleased when he became interested in organizing clients, and his efforts with COSWAC have exceeded my expectations. 

anonymous-clientIf I ever met Swanee Hunt, one of the leading prohibitionists in this country, do you know what I’d say to her?  “If you’re so concerned with stopping trafficking and moral uplift, there’s another area where you need to focus your efforts.  So many selfish and negligent people feel that it’s okay to pay off some stranger to act as surrogates in a vital relationship.  Sometimes they find some untrained, underage girl whom they can pay a pittance.  Other times, they connect with some ring that lures unsuspecting young women from other countries on the promise of ‘seeing the world’, only to be trapped in a house to satisfy their demands.  Clearly, this must be a form of trafficking.  After all, no one dreams of having to care for another person’s child.”  Many folks would find it offensive to have babysitters, au pairs, and nannies called “victims of human trafficking”.  But I’d also wager that parents would feel personally offended at being called “selfish and negligent” or compared to slave keepers.  They would argue rightly that, with the complexity of their lives and needs, they have important reasons to hire someone to watch or care for their kids.

The same holds true for sex work clients.  Some have been in loving relationships lasting decades, only to suddenly find themselves alone due to divorce, abandonment, disease or death.  Some have escaped abusive relationships and are now struggling to regain confidence and trust.  Some have difficulty finding intimacy due to disability, poor socialization, or questions about their own sexuality.  And some just need cathartic, pleasurable release without the baggage of expectations or judgement.  Knowing that isn’t enough, however; prohibitionists have painted a black-and-white picture of clients as heartless predators to be persecuted and shamed.  It’s time for clients to speak up, and to work together with sex workers for change.  That is why CoSWAC – Clients of Sex Workers Allied for Change – was started.

It began with Maggie’s July 18th blog post on the recent “johns sting” in Seattle, and her battle cry for clients to begin speaking up more for decriminalization.  As a longtime activist for sexual and personal freedom, I responded quickly; soon others joined in, and we began online discussions on how to get clients organized.  It was decided that launching a website, to provide information and a contact point for interested clients, was the best way to start.  As we began our plans, Dan Savage echoed Maggie’s call to arms at the end of August, so it was decided to speed up our efforts and launch the site as soon as possible.  Within two weeks, the CoSWAC site was public, and already attracting attention.  The most distinctive element of the website is a page where clients share their stories.  While they are predominantly from hetero male clients in the United States, there are also female and gay male clients, and stories from Australia, New Zealand, and Europe.  These stories shatter many of the prohibitionist myths around commercial sex, revealing an important dimension to our understanding, including narratives of emotional healing.

Ultimately, we hope to go further.  Right now, a smaller group is working on the process of creating a more formal structure – board, advisory body, and a framework for local groups.  We hope to encourage and empower more sex work clients to come out of the shadows, and work with sex workers and other allies towards decriminalization and other common goals.  As we grow and network with existing groups, we hope to provide more resources towards this end.  So, if you are a client, we encourage you to connect with CoSWAC.  Visit our website, and bookmark it to stay updated.  Share your story among the growing number being sent to us.  If you’re interested in helping us to build, let us know through the contact page.  Keep educating yourself on the issues around sex workers’ rights, and share that knowledge with those around you.  CoSWAC is here to provide a vehicle for clients to engage in the effort for the human rights of all involved in the commercial sex industry.  Get on board and pitch in!

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Guest Columnist: Science Hooker

Posted in Guest Columns, Perception, Philosophy, tagged , , , , on October 10, 2016| 12 Comments »

I recently became aware of Science Hooker, and I was so impressed I immediately asked her to do a guest column.  She was able to achieve what in my youth I wanted to achieve, but couldn’t, and that makes her even more awesome in my estimation.science-hooker

Fucking science.
Science does not need to be dry.
Safe.
Boring.
Middle and upper class.
Clean.
Even though people fitting these values dominate it.
Serve my science as a double shot in a sleazy bar.
“What was your name again?”
Learning and ability is not about background.
It’s about will, thought, curiosity, stubbornness and passion.
Science Hooker is about science for ALL.

Nerves jostle my stomach stepping onto the podium, adjusting the mic.  Hundreds of academic faces, mostly white, mostly men, mostly upper middle class, peer at me from the cavernous dark.  Mars rover tools.  I’m here to talk about Mars rover tools, about how ultrasonics enhance performance.  The focus envelopes, I calm…. begin.  A significant part of my confidence in academia traces back to me fucking for a living.  Honing those social skills.  Escort, prostitute, courtesan, whore; the label has never seemed important.  I remember perching on the radiator in a cold Edinburgh flat, nervous energy bubbling through me and a client due to arrive any minute.  The doorbell chimed, the focus enveloped, calm… begin.

I’ve never been ashamed or embarrassed about escorting.  Why should I?  There was so much learning.  So much living. I was an escort in Edinburgh, Scotland, and was studying part time at the Open University of Scotland, a truly fantastic institution for social mobility.  I gained a 1st in a geoscience BSc and was half way through an MSc when offered a PhD with the UK Space Agency, investigating the loss of the Mars atmosphere into the rocky crust and what lessons we can take from this in respect to climate change on Earth.  I’d never studied full time, nor physically attended an institution.  The integral snobbery, bigotry and discrimination is real.

Many academic peers are surprisingly religious, mass on Sunday sort of thing.  Their attitude to open discussions of prostitution backgrounds is full of the usual “saddening”, “terrible” and “disgusting”, coupled with trite ignorant sentiments such as, “Well, at least that is behind you know, or I hope it is, otherwise I don’t know what to say”.  The idea that there could be any positive life or value within the confines of escorting is anathema.  The message clearly announced that sex workers do not belong in academia unless they are very repentant, and acknowledge that their life was very sad, and how grateful they are to have transcended into the academic’s world.  Fuck conforming to fit in with this scene.

Science Hooker is my reaction to this elitist, insular environment of privilege.  It started in December 2015 as website, Twitter and Facebook platform where I simply shared fun science, but with an “escort” slant, which probably tasted daring and risqué to most academics.  The few thousand followers were mostly academics.  Yet, the project has evolved since the early days, becoming less timid.  A regular blog slot was provided by The Huffington Post, with a relatively free hand regarding content; this has been a powerful platform to engage larger audiences.  Following a Huffington article I wrote on prostitution, the House of Commons invited me to a panel discussion on reforming prostitution laws; it suddenly felt like Science Hooker could make an impact.  A short film was produced as a Cairn Productions-Science Hooker collaboration about my science research.  Thousands of academics followed, hundreds of professors; but still, I felt Science Hooker was pointless in a way.  Sharing academic content with academics is preaching to the converted.  It is not outreach.  It is not real science communication.  Added to this, a dozen other platforms are doing the exact same format of science dissemination.  I found myself asking: why am I doing Science Hooker?  What is the goal?  Where is it going?

The answer is still forming.  Fermenting.  Recently, large numbers of sex workers have followed, sharing their content, thoughts, jokes and issues.  I am glad of this demographic shift.  Interestingly, the extent I engage with the sex work community correlates with a proportionate decline in academic followers; a price worth paying, but informative about attitudes, and reinforcing my previous conclusions.  There has been a mixture of positive and negative reactions to Science Hooker.  Recently an academic pulled their copyright and association with a mineral reference book I had been working on with other students because they had stumbled over Science Hooker and my escort history.  This was no loss, academics are plentiful; we simply replaced his contribution and took the incident as a perfect example of bigotry and exclusion in the sciences for those from alternative backgrounds.  At the other end of the spectrum, Science Hooker recently got nominated by a post-doctoral fellow for the Annie Maunder medal from the Royal Astronomy Society for public outreach.  Science Hooker generates impact, disparagement, respect, hatred, encouragement and dismissal in a messy bundle of reactions.

Science Hooker ethos has always been about making science accessible and understandable to all, yet the tangible application of this goal is difficult.  How does one achieve this in any concrete sense?  Initially the accessibility I had in mind was all about explaining science, but now I feel it has morphed to include smashing down ivory walls of the academic tower, or at least graffiti them up a bit; highlighting discrimination, denial of access and judgemental hatred to sex workers in relation to formal science, education and academia.  A new project on the drawing board just now is called “Ask a scientist!”  I am collecting a network of scientists from a wide range of disciplines willing to answer public questions in a 1-1 personal way.  There will be two functions.  Anyone will be able to search for a scientist from a database, read about their history and motivations, their area of research and contact them directly via email.  Alternatively, people will be able to ask a question on the website, and any scientist can choose to respond and answer it, or not.  Possibly different scientists will forward different viewpoints and a conversation will develop.  I hope so.  Once this has been trialed successfully, it would be interesting to create another database called “Ask a sex worker”, again, with the aim of developing conversation, connection and mutual understanding.  I firmly believe it is through knowledge of each other that stigma dies.

The university is ending my funding soon, and I won’t have finished the PhD in time.  I don’t know what will happen, with me, or with Science Hooker.  I may even return to escorting.  Life is uncertain. I am unpredictable.  Science Hooker is fluid.  We can all only play with the cards in our hand, make a difference where opportunity and circumstance allow. So why not visit Science Hooker?  See what it’s all about.

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Guest Columnist: Chester Brown

Posted in Guest Columns, History, Perception, Philosophy, tagged , , on September 12, 2016| 11 Comments »

Chester Brown is one of the most renowned and respected cartoonists in the world; he and I first met online about four years ago and quickly became friends.  And while I did give him a little help with his revised edition of Paying For It, and he drew the cover for my book Ladies of the Night, his new book is the first one I’ve been privileged to see developed from the very first kernel of the idea (shared in a letter to me several years ago) all the way to distribution and book signings.  So once the initial release whirlwind had died down and I figured he might have some time, I asked him if he’d like to do a guest column introducing the book; he sent this the very next day.  Oh, and one more thing:  Chester now has a Patreon account, and if supporting outspoken allies of sex workers is important to you, you really should consider signing up to that.  Just sayin’.

While the subtitle of my new book is Prostitution And Religious Obedience In The Bible, and there are stories about several biblical prostitutes in it, Mary Wept Over The Feet Of Jesus is mostly about the connections that Jesus had to prostitution.  I’m proposing three interrelated ideas:

  • Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a prostitute.
  • Mary of Bethany, the woman who anointed Jesus as a christ, was a prostitute.
  • Jesus’s parables about The Prodigal Son and The Talents indicate that he didn’t see prostitutes and their clients as sinners to be forgiven but, rather, saw paying for sex as socially beneficial.

The Prodigal Son (page 164)I’m not going to try to convince you that I’m right about all that here; that’s what the book is for.  Instead I want to talk about the issue of bias.  Some critics have dismissed my ideas because I have a bias; for example, see this piece in the A.V. Club.  It is true that I have a bias; I’ve been a client of sex workers for seventeen years and do happen to see the profession as socially beneficial.  I’ve made no attempt to hide that fact.  The question is, does having a bias on a particular subject necessarily invalidate one’s views on that subject?  Should Martin Luther King Jr’s views on civil rights have been dismissed because, being a black man, he had a bias?  I think it’s precisely because I have a bias that I was able to see certain things in the Bible that haven’t been obvious to others.  And it’s not like others who’ve written about Jesus and prostitution before me did not have a bias on the subject of sex work; in fact, I’d venture to guess that the vast majority of biblical scholars, past and present, had and have a whorephobic bias against sex work.

Let’s talk about two relatively recent examples that I came across while researching for my book.  Karen King is a biblical scholar whom I have a lot of respect for.  Her fascinating book What Is Gnosticism? transformed my understanding of that subject.  In 2003, she published a book titled The Gospel of Mary Of Magdala.  In it, King translates and analyzes an ancient text known as The Gospel Of Mary, which presents a woman named Mary as Jesus’s wisest disciple.  Most people assume that the woman is Mary Magdalene, and they’re probably right; I would recommend King’s book to anyone who wants to understand this difficult text.  On page 3, King writes that The Gospel Of Mary “exposes the erroneous view that Mary of Magdala was a prostitute for what it is — a piece of theological fiction”.  However, reading the text of the gospel, one finds no mention of prostitution; there’s no indication what Mary’s source of income was.  (Even a spiritual person in first century Palestine needed some sort of income, whether it was from begging or some other source.)  There’s no sign one way or the other in The Gospel Of Mary, as we have it, that Mary was or wasn’t a prostitute, nor is there any mention of sex; furthermore, King doesn’t interpret any of the material as relating to prostitution or sex.  Now, since there are many pages missing in the two surviving manuscripts of the text, it’s possible that one of those missing pages mentioned that Mary was a prostitute.  (I hesitate to get conspiratorial, but perhaps it wasn’t a coincidence that certain pages went missing in both surviving manuscripts.)  But even if those missing pages didn’t mention that Mary was a prostitute, that still wouldn’t prove she wasn’t one.  So why does King think that the The Gospel Of Mary PROVES that Mary never had sex for pay?  King doesn’t explain her reasoning, but there can be only one reason:  The gospel presents Mary as the most wise and spiritual of the disciples of Jesus, and King whorephobically assumes that a prostitute could not be wise and spiritual.

In the 2006 book Secrets Of Mary Magdalene, edited by Dan Burstein and Arne de Keijzer, there’s an essay by the respected historian James Carroll in which, on page 24, he quotes Luke 8:2-3.  In that biblical passage, it’s mentioned that Mary Magdalene and several other women “provided for them [Jesus and the male disciples] out of their own resources.”  Carroll reads this as an indication that Mary and the other women must therefore have been “well-to-do, respectable figures.”  In other words, they could not have been prostitutes, because, of course, only well-to-do, respectable women had money — prostitutes had absolutely no way to get ahold of money.  This isn’t quite as obviously whorephobic as the Karen King example, but it does indicate a desperate over-eagerness to distance Mary Magdalene from prostitution.  Why wasn’t it obvious to Carroll that, while evidence that Mary Magdalene had money could indicate that she was “respectable”, it could just as easily be evidence that she was a prostitute?  There’s a probably unconscious bias going on there, and one sees it over and over while reading books about biblical prostitutes in general and Mary Magdalene in particular.

Tamar (page 27)On the question of whether Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, I don’t have a definite opinion one way or the other.  It’s true that none of the biblical books link Mary Magdalene with the profession, but Jesus was close with Mary of Bethany, who definitely was a prostitute, and it could be that Mary Magdalene and Mary of Bethany were the same person.  It’s also possible that they were two separate women, since the name Mary was popular at the time. (See pages 245 to 253 of Mary Wept for more on this.)  A basic rule: when a scholar claims with certainty that Mary Magdalene absolutely could not have been a prostitute, that scholar probably has a bias against sex work.  That doesn’t mean that all of that scholar’s conclusions should be dismissed, any more than my pro-sex work bias means that my conclusions should be dismissed.  All it really means is that readers should keep authorial bias in mind when reading any book.

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In the News (#667)

Posted in Current Events, Guest Columns, Miscellaneous, News, Tyranny, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 27, 2016| 3 Comments »

Most of the whores l’ve met are women who question things, who value their independence over social norms.  –  Kaytlin Bailey

Droit du Seigneur Darryl Stasher

He didn’t rape her, but he sure seems to think it was his privilege to fuck her:

A Mississippi cop was fired…after a video that went viral on social media shows him lurking in his patrol car near a high school, trying to coax a teenaged girl into cutting class, pressuring her into accompany him to “room” to have sex instead.  [Darryl Stasher] said he “wanted to do more than just talk.”  He then assured the teen nobody would find out what they were doing, and that he’d “take care of her”.  “Oh.  So you saying you ain’t fucking,” a disappointed [Stasher] can be heard asking after the student declined his advances that were caught on camera in the 49 second clip…

Schadenfreude 

It’s always so sweet when a rescue industry scam is exposed:

For years, Jenny Williamson…has [hawked] her [fantasy] of rescuing girls from sex traffickers, spreading the Gospel while [raking in] hundreds of thousands…[she] has regaled audiences with the litany of horrors these girls suffer…Courage House [was]…closed…effective June 14, amid a flurry of state inspections that found numerous violations, including inadequate staffing levels…[despite] assets of…$1.4 million…Courage House was cited 16 times in the first six months of this year…10 were classified by the state as Type A, or serious enough to have an immediate impact on clients’ health, safety or personal rights…former workers [describe] Williamson as a temperamental leader with no child-development background who micromanaged her trained staff and became…swept up in her own publicity…staff members were…abruptly fired for…expressing concerns over [her inclusion]…of clients’ confidential information in fundraising or publicity efforts…[including]  identifiable images of [inmates]…on the company’s Facebook page…[Williamson] routinely “paraded the girls around” for marketing purposes…Arlicia Lorentty, who was a social worker/case manager in the home in 2015, said…“Everything was a photo op”…girls were…[forced to attend] a Christian church…whose leaders and congregation have been heavily involved in Courage House…

The More the Better 

There’s no “if” about it; Melania Trump is or was a sex worker.  Even if she was never an escort as rumors allege (and I think it very likely that she was indeed one), she posed for nude photos (including a lesbian scene) and is now a trophy wife…and sorry, ladies, but both of those are definitely kinds of sex work.  When people started mocking her for using an incompetent speechwriter, I defended her not on the grounds of the political beliefs she claims to profess, but on the grounds that she is a fellow whore doing her job (which for a wife means emotionally & socially supporting her husband) and should not be mocked merely because he happens to be a delusional narcissist.  Margaret Corvid has more to say about the new rumors:

…when you share those allegations, pointing and laughing, saying “Look!”, calling her a liar, calling her a whore, saying that she is unfit for the White House because she was photographed sexually, you are stepping on everyone who does sex work in this country every day—most of whom are much more vulnerable than Melania Trump…[she] isn’t a liar for covering up sex work…[because] it…is necessary for survival in a country where selling sex is illegal and where it is so stigmatized that it can get you fired from your “mainstream” job, get your kids taken away, and destroy your reputation for life…

I’m Sure You Feel Safer Now 

…that Canada’s new law is “protecting” sex workers from making money from lonely old men:

Two Sydney men have pleaded guilty and were fined…in connection with a prostitution sting…after…Judge Brian Williston ruled that [entrapment isn’t entrapment when it’s politically popular]…Gordon Ernest MacLean, 66, and John Howard MacLean, 66…were fined a total of $500 after the judge waived costs and surcharges.  They also must submit a DNA sample…

Because obviously, the cops never know when these hardened “sex criminals” may strike again.

Monsters

[Mexican] police do little to protect the transgender community and [rarely investigate trans sex workers’] deaths…Mexico has one of the highest rates of transphobic violence in the world, according to a recent report by the Cornell University Law School in New York and the Transgender Law Center…The number of documented murders of transgender people rose to 46 in 2012 from four in 2008, with actual figures likely to be significantly higher…transgender women in particular have suffered from a fierce backlash against same-sex marriage and other advances…

Passive Voice

Even though it’s a year old, this tutorial in how the past exonerative tense works is too brilliant to pass up.  It’s also too brilliant for me to risk butchering by any attempt at synopsis, so do yourself a favor and go read it.

Devil’s Advocate

This article could’ve appeared under so many headings; “Cops and Robbers” due to the vigilantism and “Bait and Switch” because of the sleazy entrapment tactics (“18” in big letters and “15” in fine print, for example, when any whore can tell you horny guys rarely read past the pictures).  But I think the fact that the state convicted two men for non-crimes against a “person” who does not even exist puts it in this category:fake Tinder profile

The creators of the “Tinder Experiment” set up a fake profile of a [a fake 18-year-old girl pretending to be] 15…in a bid to [entrap careless, stupid men]…They then secretly filmed conversations and face-to-face meetings with the men before shaming them online.  Those videos were removed and their website shut down by police, but [the sleazy pigs were still happy]…to use the information from the “experiment” [to destroy lives]…Nicolaos Katsamas was…sentenced last month to two- and-a-half years’ jail…Tobias Kilsby was also jailed for two years…Detective Senior Constable Tas Gagatsakis [admitted that]…Tinder is [only] for users 18 and over…

Don’t Call It Trafficking

This isn’t called “trafficking”, while the same demographic choosing to sell sex to survive is:

…Island View…housed more than 100 [“troubled teens”]…aged 13-17, and charged parents at least $10,000 a month…the staff tormented and abused them — pitting teens against each other, physically restraining them, secluding them, medicating them with high doses of powerful antipsychotics and forcing them to sit without speaking for hours or days at a time…[after a lawsuit] it…closed…[and] a new company, Family Help & Wellness, took over the property.  The facility began to operate under a different name, Elevations RTC.  It continues to bring in new students today…39 of the 48 employees listed on Elevations’ website worked for Island View…At least 1,500 [teens] in 30 states alleged that they were abused at private treatment facilities in 2005 alone…The troubled-teen industry is almost entirely unregulated…Congress has repeatedly refused to intervene…Parents who send their children to residential treatment centers like Island View often hire independent contractors, colloquially known as “transporters,” to forcibly [abduct] their kids…

Yellow Fever (#509) 

Remember Tenancingo, the Mexican town which was supposedly infested with “pimps” but actually had only two (plus employees) and 26 supposed “victims”?  Apparently Canada wants a “pimp town” too, and naturally they claim it’s the country’s largest black community.  But they’re not racists, no sirree!

One of the first things you notice when you enter this community northeast of Halifax is a large billboard that tells you you’re in “Canada’s Largest Black Community”…every driver here acknowledges oncoming drivers — even strangers — with a wave of the hand.  It’s not the welcome you expect in a place that has repeatedly been described as the birthplace of North Preston’s Finest, a violent gang that specializes in trafficking young women and girls as young as 14 in the sex trade…residents, even local police…insist the claims about a criminal gang originating in North Preston are exaggerated, misleading or manufactured by outsiders who don’t know their community…But police [and other prohibitionists] outside the province…[masturbate furiously to fantasies of] a community that has churned out generations of ruthless pimps who are spread across the country and unafraid to use brute force to punish women in their “stable” if they step out of line…

Guest Columnist:  Kaytlin Bailey

My friend Kaytlin’s one-woman show is part of the Fringe Festival:

Cuntagious [is] a one woman show, written by Kaytlin Bailey – now a stand up comedian, once a sex worker…“the first run was really a coming out process.  I performed the show before I told my family.  I knew most of the audience members personally, so they were very supportive…when you come out, other people come out.  I’ve had a lot of people reach out to me to tell me their own experience with sex work, I love that”…

I’ve seen the show twice, and I will again when she brings it back to Seattle; you really should, too.

Another Fine Mess (#547)

As I and many others have said, sex drives technological development.  And I think that’s what the prudes are really afraid of:

…The World Wide Web turned 25 this month…The sexualized female body has, from the beginning, been the catalyst for attempts to regulate what’s on the Web, ultimately shaping what the Internet looks like today.  Only a couple of years after Berners-Lee began to worry about an incoming flood of photos of nude women, Congress was gripped by the “great Internet sex panic of 1995”…the Communications Decency Act…was signed into law on Feb. 8, 1996, and thousands of websites went dark in protest…provisions that criminalized sending or displaying to a minor “any comment, request, suggestion, proposal, image, or other communications” that were sexual in a “patently offensive” way…[were determined by] the Supreme Court…[to be] unconstitutionally vague and [were] struck…down…Yet another part of the widely loathed CDA — one the Supreme Court has never heard any challenges to — also helped bring about the Web we now know.  Section 230 immunizes service providers from lawsuits over the speech of their users.  It’s the law that lets Facebook, YouTube, WordPress, Twitter, Yelp, Craigslist and Reddit exist.  Without its provisions, a service such as Twitter could be sued into nonexistence if an individual user sent a single defamatory tweet…

Eternal Vigilance (#617)

Rent in exchange for sex isn’t “free”; it has been paid for with sex:

A room in return for sex…the…landlord cashing in on desperate, vulnerable and homeless women in London.  A recent report has unveiled a disturbing attempt to exploit homeless women by offering free accommodation in return for sexual favors…There are hundreds of listings…by men either obliquely or explicitly (some very explicitly) offering free housing to women for sex….they also include men who are expressly targeting adverts at homeless women…

How are the ads “explicitly targeting homeless women”?  Do they read, “only homeless women need apply” and require proof of homelessness?  This looks to me like nothing more than Puritans upset about the fact that some women are comfortable paying our rent (and other expenses) with sex.

Check Your Premises (#636)

Another cop so disconnected from reality that she thinks she can “build communication with sex workers” while stealing their income by harassing their clients:

A new strategy to tackle prostitution in [Redbridge, London] will see the police’s focus shift from the sex workers to [demonized clients and partners]…Insp Gellatley’s team aims to disrupt clients while engaging in a relationship of trust with prostitutes.  “We are trying to build communication with the sex workers” [she said]…

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Guest Columnist: Christina Slater

Posted in Current Events, Guest Columns, Perception, Tyranny, tagged , , , , , on August 8, 2016| 7 Comments »

When Christina was considering sex work a few years ago, she discovered my blog and read voraciously before actually starting the work, so I’m her whore-mama.  She’s turning into a hell of an activist, and I’m very proud of her; she also has a blog of her own. 

He’s nervous.  His voice on the phone is shy as he introduces himself.  “Hi. I reached out to you on Reddit…?”

Of course.  I chime in on anonymous social media when the topic of sex work comes up.  In this case it was the recent sting at the Euro Spa which I wrote about a few weeks ago.  I received a message from one of the gentlemen who got caught in the net.  He felt lost, afraid, as if his whole future were at risk and he had no one to reach out to so he reached out to me.  I leaped at the chance to speak with someone who lived this experience and offered to meet for coffee or to talk on the phone, whatever he felt comfortable with.  A few days passed and I thought it likely that he wasn’t comfortable, maybe I had come on too strong, and I wouldn’t hear from him again but this afternoon a ring interrupted my poolside reading.  We agreed to meet at a nearby public park and just talk; I wanted to reassure him that he wasn’t alone, offer what help I could, and record a step by step walk-through of what he experienced.  I’ll refrain from describing him physically, to keep his anonymity as safe as possible, but my first impression was that he was nervous, relieved that I was who I said I was, embarrassed to go into details.  He is exactly the kind of client I would NOT like deterred from seeing sex workers and yet his experience may keep him from being one of the many kind and respectful clients who allow me and my sisters financial security and are enjoyable to see in session.

It started, as it often does, with stress and loneliness.  Intimacy is often difficult for shy, busy people and many turn to the professionalism and convenience of sex workers to find much needed human connection.  In this digital age, he went online to find a solution and found it in a Backpage advertisement for “massage” complete with a photo of “a scantily clad woman and a massage table.”  He reasoned that an establishment was a safer gamble than one of the many independent Backpage advertisers so, early on a Wednesday evening, he called to make sure they were open and then made his way to what he assumed would be an hour of intimate physical touch.  He had an idea that there would be sexual contact involved, and that was one of the attractions for him, but until he spoke to the woman working the room he wasn’t sure exactly what.  Walking in the door, he looked to his left to see a twenty-something woman behind a desk.  He remembers a black dress and a red bra, that she was very clear in both words and hand gestures what she was offering, that she didn’t show any signs of abuse or coercion or of being underage, and that as soon as she offered sex, he knew that was what he wanted.Seattle entrapment

“Hi. I’d like a massage.”

“OK, but extras cost more.”

“What kind of extras?”

“A handjob, or sex for a hundred.”

“Sex.”

He handed over his 100$ and she showed him down a hall into a dimly lit room with a massage table and pleasant but forgettable decorations in it.  He waited for her but before long, and much to his surprise, two plainclothes detectives entered the room and cuffed him.  The detectives walked him outside (in handcuffs!) and upstairs where he sat, still and quiet.  The entire process had taken less than five minutes.  Five or ten minutes later he was joined by another cuffed man, far less calm.  A few minutes after that the two were escorted to a car and taken to the police station where he spent the next six hours behind bars and undergoing various booking procedures including fingerprinting and changing into prison orange.  He didn’t want to say much about what the other victims of the sting said or did (especially the one he rode to jail with), because he didn’t want to try to tell someone else’s story for them; however it was clear to me that whatever they did and said left its mark on him.  Finally released at one in the morning, he went home and tried to forget about it.  When I asked how he felt, he said he felt calm the whole time, as if he was just an observer and this wasn’t really happening to him.

But two days later, a uniformed cop walked into his place of business and the reality of his situation hit him like a sledgehammer to the gut.  Thoughts raced through his mind: Are they here for me?  What if my boss finds out?  What if my coworkers find out?  As it turned out, the cop was only there to grab a bite to eat; three days prior that wouldn’t have given my new friend a second thought, but now it sent his heart rate through the roof.  That night he finally flipped through the documents police had sent him home with and began to worry.  He is, as of our meeting on July 29th, still waiting for his court date to be set.  He calls and asks every day so he knows right away how long he has to prepare.  Not that he can do much; mired in student debt and unable to get outside support, he will have an overworked and underpaid public defender as his counsel, facing an aggressive “end demand” agenda driven by vast private funds.  He will likely face fines upward of $2700, not including miscellaneous court fees and the cost of the ridiculous and ineffective “John School”.  Why?  In what universe is someone seeking services from an aggressively, provocatively dressed woman blatantly and casually offering sex for money the same as a “human trafficker” or an abuser?  How does financially crippling a young man just starting his life build up our community?  What good does it do to saddle someone, anyone, with the ambiguous and damning crime of “sexual exploitation” when all they did was offer payment to a willing, adult sexual partner?  Who benefits from traumatizing him for a nonviolent transaction?  Not me, not you, and not him.  The $100 he thought he was paying for some intimate human contact is a drop in the bucket compared to the cash SPD will net from this sting and from the continued financial support of privately funded anti-prostitution organizations; it will also provide free campaign publicity for pro-Swedish model public officials.  My heart goes out to him and his 203 fellow detainees, and I hope that we can help them.

NAUWUHe was brave to agree to meet with me after such an experience, and he was careful not to accidentally out his fellow clients.  He said he did it because he hoped that his story would help:  help the push towards decriminalizing sexual services; help someone else in his predicament find comfort; help humanize the clients facing criminal charges; and help lessen his own ordeal by letting him get it off his chest to someone who could listen without judging.  There are 203 other stories much like this.  Men from all walks of life who felt bored, horny, lonely, busy, curious or whatever, who sought a consenting adult to help them assuage whatever they felt, are all painted with the same black brush: evil, stupid, and shameful.  But it is the use of police resources to persecute consenting adults under the guise of ending abuse which is evil, stupid and shameful, and we need to call for its end.  If you are one of the 203 others, or another victim of law enforcement actions against those seeking sex workers, I invite you to contact me.  The sex worker community has done good work toward humanizing the providers of sexual services but we also need to humanize clients and advocate for their rights.  By striking down the laws against the simple act of exchanging sexual services for money, our government can focus resources on the victims and perpetrators of violent crime and leave the rest of us alone.

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Rebuttal to Madison Graham

Posted in Guest Columns, Perception, tagged , , on July 25, 2016| 4 Comments »

Two weeks ago today I published a guest post by Madison Graham; if you haven’t read it yet, you should do so before proceeding with this one.  I’ve never published a rebuttal to a guest column before, because no one has ever asked me to; however, since the writer of this one, Christina Parreira, is a previous guest columnist herself who is knowledgeable on this subject, I saw no reason to decline her request.  In the future, I will entertain submissions for rebuttals or responses as long as  A) I have reason to believe the respondent knows what she’s talking about; B) the response stays cordial and mostly factual, without opinions clearly expressed as such; and C) the response is submitted in a timely manner, so that I can publish it in the same month as the original if possible.

Since I’m writing this in response to Madison’s article, I think it is important for readers to know how I came to know of her.  About 8 months ago, she angrily messaged me on Twitter over something I had tweeted.  I asked management who she was; I was told that she was a former working girl but was not able to book clients, so they gave her a job as publicist so that she could earn a living.  Hence, her Twitter handle of “Angry Publicist”, and she is certainly angry; I do not claim to know why she was let go from the ranch, but I do know that her Twitter feed is a constant and vitriolic campaign against Hof and his working girls.  She is constantly making fun of girls who work for Hof (including jabs at their appearance and disparaging comments about “illegal” work).  She has made remarks about my own life ending soon, even going so far as to claim that I deserve to be strangled.  She accuses Hof of being a rapist and pedophile.  She calls one of the women at Sagebrush a “stupid lazy bitch.”  These are not opinions of mine, but mere facts that can be confirmed by reading her page. (Note from Maggie: her Twitter account was suspended sometime between writing & publication of this column.)

Now, onto her article about Hof and the Odom incident.  It rests on the premise that Hof was the one who called TMZ- this is in the absence of proof.  Nobody actually knows who called TMZ, period.  Also, I’m skeptical of the notion that a man is afforded secrecy when he himself has brought illicit drugs into a legal place of business, and then gets rolled out in an ambulance!  What is a business owner supposed to say when this happens?  Nothing?  Madison states that Lamar will never again get an endorsement deal; this is simply mere speculation.  She also slams Hof for “taking advantage” of the publicity, but it sought him.  Odom almost died at his brothel; that was not a story Hof needed to call the press over!  They were knocking down his door.

Next, she addresses drugs in the brothels, saying she has she’s never seen so many addicts since working in legal brothels, and claiming that women are allowed to continue working with drugs in the house.  I myself have seen drugs in the house; it happens, though not as often as Madison would have you believe (although this is just from my own personal experience).  I have also seen those same girls get fired once it was confirmed that they were using.  She claims they are told to pack up and go to rehab.  In reality, many are fired and never heard of again, while others (my guess is those that have been around a long time and are part of the family, so to speak) have been sent to rehab by Hof himself.  He has told me stories of paying for rehab in hopes that some of these women would stop using.  I think that’s very kind, but let’s not stray too much into opinion-land; let us get back to my observations.  As far as girls too drunk to work, I have never personally seen this, but I imagine it does happen.  What I have seen is girls get cut off before they begin to overdo it, and I remember one woman in particular who had an alcohol problem and was not served alcohol; she was not allowed to drink in the brothel or bring liquor in.  This may seem punitive to some, but it is a place of businesses and she would become unmanageable drunk (from what I heard).  I never saw her drunk behavior, but I did work with her during her drinking ban.

Love RanchMost of the article is Madison giving her opinions, “he has no empathy,” etc.  This is simply straying from facts; did he in fact call TMZ?  The legitimacy of the piece rests on the notion that he did, but that is something we will never know.  What I do know is that Odom brought the drugs himself, and that Nye county is not pressing charges.  By the way, did you know that money from the brothel licenses of Hof’s houses in Nye county go towards maintaining the EMS services which showed up to help Odom?  But what about publicity stunts like Hookers for Hillary?  I agree that was clearly a PR stunt for attention, but remember that Nevada brothels aren’t allowed to advertise by traditional means.  As Hof said to Bill Higgins in the book Nevada Rose: Inside the American Brothel, “I’m over the top, I’m a media whore.  What else can you do when your business can’t advertise?”

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My Friend, the Whore

Posted in Guest Columns, Perception, Q & A, tagged , , , on July 14, 2016| 4 Comments »

Last Friday, Dan Savage tweeted a question he’d received to get the opinion of several sex workers, namely Mistress Matisse, Mike Crawford and me (plus anyone else who cared to chime in).  The question itself is interesting, and I found it fascinating how much the answers diverged.  So although Dan already published the question and answers on his Stranger blog, I’d also like to feature it here:

man courting womanI’d appreciate your thoughts on a matter of sex worker etiquette and social boundaries.  Someone I’d describe as an acquaintance/casual friend recently let me know that she is working as an escort.  I’ve known her for a few years, and have always been more than a little attracted to her.  We dated very briefly when we first met and have had an intermittent friendship in the years since.  We’re close enough to talk about subjects like sex work and our mutually non-judgmental attitudes toward it, though this is someone I bump into fairly rarely—maybe a couple of times a year.  If there’s an appropriate and respectful way to bring up that I’d be interested in her professional services, I’d love to do it in the right way.  Or would you advise me to leave this alone?  We’re well enough acquainted that I could broach the subject in an in-person conversation or by text (as opposed to, say, booking an appointment anonymously and saying “Surprise! Remember me?”).  Any thoughts?  –  Friend In Favor Of Compensating For Benefits

My answer:  It’s a delicate one. If they had never dated I’d say it was pretty straightforward. But as it is she could conceivably feel awkward. My advice: He should tell her he’d like to see an escort and ask if she has any recommendations. Then IF she’s comfortable, she can volunteer her own services, and if not he’ll get a very good recommendation to another.

Matisse:  I personally do not accept people as clients if I’ve been friends with them socially. But that is partly because I’m a dominatrix and some fantasies and D/s rely on a certain level of mystery and distance. Definitely via email, NOT in person. Tell her it’s cool if she doesn’t feel comfortable. And accept it will change things.

Mike Crawford:  “How’s business? Are you taking new clients? Would you be open to seeing me professionally?” Best approach I can think of. As mentioned, the prior relationship could make it awkward. As any client should, if she declines to see him, FIFOCFB should accept that graciously.

Lara Belle:  I would choose one of the zillion other SWs where boundaries are not an issue. The question can be broached: “Are you open to seeing clients who are part of your personal life,” etc., but don’t even go there at all if he expects her to keep it a secret and have a whole range of new pressures forced upon her with her other friends/acquaintances.

Conner Habib:  Yes, he definitely has the right to ask! But I want him to ask himself why he’s asking, too! I’d ask: Out of all the escorts in the world you can hire, you chose one whose boundaries may be problematic for you and would need negotiation. What does that tell you about yourself? Self-investigate & move on.

Rosemary Lashes:  I had a friend ask this of me when I came out and frankly I find it insulting. For me, I want compartmentalization. I do not mix business/clients w friends. It complicates too much, and $ creates power dynamics regardless of intention.

Ava Grace:  Definitely don’t surprise her with a booking without notice. But considering the history of the friendship you can always ask the question. If she’s not ok with it she will say no. And you need to be prepared for and ok with accepting that no if it comes. Good luck.

Daddy’s Princess:  It would be awkward to see him professionally & maintain a friendship.

Melodie Nelson:  Sex -paid for or not-can change relationships. But he should ask simply. No more stigma 1 day.

Sensual Muse:  IMO no on this-personal life is sep from work: 2 mix risks never having down time.  it’s personal I think…just my boundary pref. no clients in personal spaces

Mandy Mitchell:  every SW is different but to me the “used to date” part gets a little dicey, there are plenty of other pros to seek, always

Sophie Darling:  I NEVER EVER mix business into my personal life. Just my MO though…

Buttercream Bombshell:  My view is to face to face express interest politely and let her decide.

Violet Baudelaire:  IF she says yes, he needs to realize that all her normal work rules still apply, even though they know each other.

There were also a good number of conversations on the topic; Matisse especially had some good discussions with a number of the respondents, as you can see by following the links.  It just goes to show you:  everyone’s different, and on matters of sex work etiquette there’s sometimes no one “correct” answer.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)

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