As most of you probably know, Savannah Sly flew into Boise last Tuesday, and I drove over from Pocatello (where Jae was hospitalized for the past month) to pick her up. On Wednesday morning we set out for Seattle and made good time; Jae slept in the back seat for the first half of the trip, and though she was much more wakeful on the second half (despite liberally-applied tranquilizers) Savannah was still able to keep her from getting too upset until we were crossing the Cascades, and then it was just a matter of time. After a night at home, we took her into the hospital where we were told she had an appointment for her condition to be assessed for further rehabilitation; unfortunately, there is apparently a bed crunch going on in Seattle right now and we’ve been in limbo ever since. Yes, you heard that correctly: she’s been kept in a room in the emergency department since Thursday, receiving medication and general care but no proper neurological rehab for her injury. I’m really hoping that by the time you read this that situation will have changed, and she will have been properly admitted to the correct clinic; however, I’m not at all hopeful about it. All in all, I’m pretty disgusted by the whole situation, which seems to have been created by lawyers inserting themselves into the doctor-patient relationship; everyone agrees that this hospital system is one of the best in the country for brain injuries, but bureaucrats have made getting anyone into it a nightmare unless they happen to be taken directly here after the accident. And since Jae had her accident in Idaho rather than the Seattle area, we’re stuck in this asinine queue for an indeterminate amount of time. Once she’s in the program, we can look forward to her getting top-notch care. But until then, I’m more stressed out about the situation than I have been for weeks. Let’s just hope I have much better news for you next week.
Posts Tagged ‘anecdote’
Diary #273
Posted in Diary, tagged anecdote, Idaho, Washington (state) on September 22, 2015| 2 Comments »
Diary #272
Posted in Diary, tagged anecdote, Washington (state) on September 15, 2015| 1 Comment »
There is very little I find more annoying than going to all the trouble to make a complex plan…only to have it cancelled at the last minute due to some unforeseen (or even worse, eminently foreseeable) circumstance outside of my control. When I wrote the last diary column, we were planning to move Jae home on Wednesday…and that plan had to be cancelled. Now once again, we were planning to move her on Wednesday…only to hit another snag. To make it worse, this time I had to actually lay out money for the plan, and if it falls through several people will be put into a bind. As of this writing just a few hours before post time, I still have no idea what’s going to happen; maybe we’ll be taking Jae home tomorrow, and maybe we won’t. And given how badly she wants to go home, I haven’t had the heart to tell her that she might not be going just yet. So keep your eyes on Twitter; I’ll let y’all know as soon as I know. I just hope next Tuesday I don’t have to write another column much like this one.
Diary #271
Posted in Diary, tagged anecdote, Washington (state) on September 8, 2015| 2 Comments »
The second stage of Jae’s recovery is almost over. In the first stage, she was unconscious under heavy sedation in the ICU, then last Tuesday her breathing tube was removed and she was allowed to awaken. For the last week she’s been under observation so the doctors could determine what course of treatment would be needed to help her heal from her head injury; she’s also had to recover her mobility (muscles lose an amazing amount of strength when unused for two weeks) and regain her lung capacity, part of which was lost due to the collapsed lung and part due to a mild case of pneumonia she developed while on the ventilator. But that’s now been cured and her lungs are mostly back to normal, and she’s been walking the length and breadth of the hospital several times per day (though always with me or a nurse’s aid in attendance in case she weakens or loses her balance). Last Friday, she was moved from the ICU to a normal room, and has been making up for lost eating time by asking me to bring in all sorts of outside food such as pizza, cheeseburgers and hot dogs. Her voice was at first nothing but a hoarse whisper, but now it’s become much stronger (though still raspy due to damage the breathing tube did to her vocal cords). Still, she hasn’t much been in the mood to talk on the phone; as those who love her know, Jae doesn’t really like talking on the phone even when she’s healthy, and she spends a lot of time asleep while her body heals.
The doctor feels she’s ready to move on to the third stage, in-patient rehabilitation; she’s strong and alert enough to move, so he wants to put her in rehab back in Seattle, where she can be in familiar surroundings and visited by those she loves. As a bonus, the facilities available in Seattle for this sort of injury are among the best in the nation, so her chances of full recovery are much, much greater than they would be in a lesser facility in unfamiliar surroundings. So tomorrow, I’ll be putting her on a direct flight to Seattle with a friend who’s flying over to accompany her; I’ll drive my car back, and if we time things well I’ll be able to join her only a few hours after she checks into the hospital. Once I find out what the hospital’s visiting rules are and how many visitors a day Jae would like, I’ll tell y’all who’s going to coordinate that; I don’t want her overwhelmed, but I also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by turning them away at the door. So a visiting schedule administered by someone other than me is the best way to go. And speaking of schedules, I’ll be starting to take appointments again on Monday, so if you’ve been holding off seeing me because of this, feel free to , so email me at the meetmaggie address and we can schedule for next week.
Whore Nation
Posted in Perception, tagged activism, anecdote on September 4, 2015| 1 Comment »
When I was on the way out to stay with Jae, and in the first few days afterward, I had (as you can imagine) many practical concerns in addition to the ones about Jae’s health. One of these, naturally, was money; supporting myself was only the beginning of that, because obviously my ongoing bills wouldn’t patiently await my return. But the city we’re in is small, and I no longer have an alternate work persona; if I advertised it would be announcing our location, and I didn’t want to do that. I mentioned my dilemma to Mistress Matisse, and she had an answer: “Don’t even try to work right now; you just concentrate on Jae. The whore nation will provide for you.”
I knew exactly what she meant. Though we’re a long way behind our sisters in other countries, especially those in the Global South, American sex workers are at long last beginning to come together as a force to be reckoned with. With our constitutional right to assemble ignored in most places (gatherings of sex workers can, and sometimes have been, raided and the participants charged with “conspiracy to commit prostitution” or “communicating for the purpose of prostitution”) and our activities spied on by the police, it was historically very difficult for pre-internet American sex workers to organize. But social media changed all that; escort message boards, blogs and Twitter (especially the latter) have allowed whores to talk, plan, and organize collective effort. Hashtag campaigns like #whenantisattack, #notyourrescueproject and #rightsnotrescue attracted so much attention outside the demimonde that they were even covered in mainstream media, and we began to use our collective efforts to shut down prohibitionist evils and opportunistic exploiters alike. But it was in the past year that the American whore nation has really come into its own: while SWOP chapters have sprung up like mushrooms and we’ve steadily won new allies, we’ve also expanded our ability to shut down dangerous “trafficking” rubbish that feeds on whores while amplifying the narrative that endangers us all. Meanwhile, Amnesty International’s announcement of its support for decriminalization and the ill-considered federal raid on Rentboy have brought would-be allies out of the woodwork in startling numbers; the power of the Whore Nation is growing, and ESPLERP’s lawsuit could open a breach in the enemy’s defenses through which our forces could pour. It is inevitable that we will win, and gain the same rights as anyone else, and once we do this time period will be the one our historians view as the turning point.
Diary #270
Posted in Diary, tagged anecdote on September 1, 2015| 5 Comments »
For the last week, Jae has slowly but steadily improved, then on Friday the nurses started the process of lightening her sedation. The physical therapist came in the afternoon and we sat her up on the side of the bed; she was groggy but definitely conscious and answered my questions and the therapist’s directions perfectly. She let me know that she knows she’s in hospital and that she had an accident. The next day, they continued to reduce her opiate pain medication and turned the ventilator to its lowest setting, so she was breathing for herself with the machine serving only as a backup. I found out that there are several reasons for her breathing difficulties: collapsed lower lobes of both lungs, fluid in the chest cavity and multiple rib fractures. So even though she is breathing for herself, the doctors want to be sure she can sustain that before taking her off of the machine.
She spent most of Saturday asleep, but because of the dramatically-lowered pain medication her sleep was much more natural-looking; she even slightly awakened and yawned several times. But on Sunday, the nurses began to lower her main sedation, Precedex; once it was down to roughly half what she had been on, she began to awaken and was very alert and coherent. Unlike Friday, she did not merely answer questions (with eyeblinks or head shakes) and follow instructions, but also initiated actions on her own; she would make gestures to let me know that she wanted something, then I’d ask her questions until I pinpointed what that was. She asked for hugs and kisses several times, and caressed my arm or hair when I leaned over her. She told me that her ribs were very painful, but not as much as her guts (some of the meds were upsetting her stomach). Later in physical therapy, she stood up with assistance and was able to follow the therapist’s instructions. The ICU doctor said we’d try to remove the breathing tube the next morning, but unfortunately being awake all day tired her out again, and she couldn’t be awakened in time to make the window for testing and removing the tube; it has to be in the morning so she can be observed all day for any issues. When she did awaken later, she was very unhappy about this; she became very grumpy and cried a few times, but we’re going to try again this morning and with any luck, the breathing tube will be out today and she’ll be able to speak and eat normally again. That also means an end to strong sedation and restraints, which should make her happy.
Now, this does raise a new issue that I think it’s very important I bring up: a lot of her friends are going to want to start calling to talk to her, and I don’t blame y’all. But she’s still going to be very tired; she is likely to be awake for only a few hours a day, and she may not really want to talk to anyone during those hours. So please, let her be; her cell phone has been found and I’m getting its broken screen fixed this week, so if she wants to call you she will. If you call and she doesn’t want to talk, I will tell you so, and I’m not going to persuade her or twist her arm to speak to anyone. She still has a long way to go before she’s recovered, and has the right to be as anti-social as she likes during that time.
Note on the picture: Grace took this of Jae on their trip to Sturgis; I asked her if I might use it for this column, and she said yes via eye blinks.
Diary #269
Posted in Diary, tagged anecdote, blogging, Twitter on August 25, 2015| Leave a Comment »
For the past week, I’ve been spending most of my waking hours at the hospital with Jae; if you don’t understand why, you should read last week’s diary and Q&A columns. Since last week, she’s improved steadily but very slowly; she’s now breathing for herself during the day, with the respirator serving only as a safeguard. On Sunday, I asked the nurse to stop giving her one drug that seemed to be giving her nightmares when the dose was high and severe disorientation even when it was low; the results were very positive, and she woke up several times and interacted with me for several minutes each time. She smiled at me, squeezed my hand, looked at the faces of the nurses and therapists when I introduced them and nodded her head at them; it was obvious she was lucid and aware of her surroundings. Every day I make sure to let her know what day it is and how long it’s been since the accident, and I’m keeping a journal of all the important events so she can read what happened while she was in Sleeping Beauty mode. I also plan to show her the Twitter timeline from these weeks so she can see all the love and support she received; if you would like her to see your message, just tweet to @BOBCATGIRL and she will see it then. If you can afford to send a donation for her support after hospital, please visit her GoFundMe site; Mistress Matisse will be posting updates about her condition there, and I’ll be doing the same here every Tuesday. If you follow me on Twitter, you may have also noticed I’m doing short videos via Periscope; even if you don’t have that app, you can watch the videos every day to get the latest update on how she’s doing. As for how I’m doing, since many of y’all have asked: I’m OK, under the circumstances. Obviously it’s pretty overwhelming, but I have the best circle of friends in the world and I do pretty well in crises, so no worries. Thanks to some of those friends I have very inexpensive lodging in a house just about a mile from the hospital; I plan to start walking it today so I don’t get dumpy through lack of exercise. And the less money I spend to support myself here, the more there will be for Jae when she gets home.
Jae Q & A
Posted in Miscellaneous, Q & A, tagged anecdote, psychology on August 20, 2015| 4 Comments »
Understandably, people are asking all sorts of questions about Jae and the situation; I’ve decided to answer those I can. Note that these answers reflect the information I have right now, and are therefore subject to change.
How did she wreck?
There were no witnesses, and people who are knocked unconscious in accidents are often unable to remember the accident itself afterward. So we may never know what actually happened. However, the state trooper who filed the report noted that she went off the inside of a curve, not the outside; she therefore did not lose control due to speed, and it seems likely that if she had been going excessively fast she would have been killed. The theory we’re working with now is that some sudden event, like a deer or elk running out in front of her, caused her to swerve and wreck.
Where is she now?
In order to maintain her privacy, I’m not going to disclose the city or even the state. It suffices to say that I’m a full day’s drive from Seattle.
How long will it take her to recover?
There’s no way of knowing that. Yesterday she awakened several times, but only for about a minute each time; she was able to follow simple commands and seemed to recognize me, but was highly agitated, frightened and disoriented. It seems likely that it will be weeks before she can be moved out of the ICU, and it could be much longer than that before she’s cleared to return to Seattle. Full recovery could take years.
Can I come to visit?
The hospital’s rules do not allow unconscious ICU patients to receive any visitors other than partners and immediate family. Until she is awake and can provide a list of who she would like to visit her, nobody other than her brother and I will be allowed in. And honestly, you wouldn’t be able to do much visiting anyway because she isn’t conscious.
What’s a good time for me to call you to ask about her?
Though I very much appreciate everyone’s concern for our beloved Jae, I am only one woman and the sheer volume of calls and texts I’ve been receiving is overwhelming. Dealing with the hospital staff, taking care of Jae and handling logistical issues take a surprising amount of time, and I’ve only barely been able to keep up with my work the past few days; even a few calls and texts beyond those I absolutely need to receive are just too much for me right now. So please, if you want an update contact Mistress Matisse or Savannah Sly; I am keeping them fully apprised of all developments as they occur, so they’ll be able to tell you what’s going on as well as I could. I’m also going to share the latest news via my blog and Twitter, and Matisse suggested I supplement that with a daily (or nearly so) Periscope broadcast; I’m going to try to start that tomorrow.
What can I do to help?
Frankly, the thing we need most right now is money. Our amazing circle of friends, including (but by no means limited to) Matisse, Savannah and Abby May, has been the best ground crew I could hope for, and if they need anyone else’s help I’m sure they’ll ask. But while I’m here I can’t work, and even after our return to Seattle there’s no way that Jae will be doing anything remunerative for a very, very long time. So far everyone’s been astonishingly generous, but the need for support isn’t going to end in the next few days; the more we can collect, the better. You can PayPal money directly to me if you like, but we’ve setup a GoFundMe page for Jae that will make that even easier (and will allow us to post updates as well). Please be as generous as you can, and spread the word via social media. Recovering from a serious accident can be an arduous and depressing ordeal, and I think the incredible outpouring of love and support Jae has received will help her not just financially, but emotionally; it will be very inspiring to her to see how many people love her and want her to be well.
Diary #265
Posted in Diary, tagged anecdote, BDSM, Montana on July 28, 2015| 1 Comment »
It’s been quite a week! Kaytlin Bailey stayed at my place for a few days after the show, and we showed her the full hospitality of Seattle’s sex worker community; she showed us the video of her one-woman show, and I think it’s fantastic; I really hope she gets the opportunity to bring it to television. Jae left on her cross-country motorcycle trip on Wednesday, after two false starts (one of which was, I’m sorry to say, completely my fault). Later that same day, I got to take the private rope-bondage lesson from Max Cameron, Seattle’s best teacher for the art; we had been trying to synchronize our schedules (and that of the young lady who volunteered to be my practice subject) for almost two months, so I was really glad we were finally able to make it happen. My rope bondage has always been simply utilitarian, and I wanted to give it more style, range and artistry. Then on Friday, I went off for the weekend with Mistress Matisse and a very wonderful (and fortunate!) gentleman; we spent it here:
And that’s as much as I’ll say on the topic (professional discretion, y’all). Yesterday I set off from the lake to meet Jae in the Denver, Colorado area, which is where I’m typing this; today I’m driving to Wichita, and tomorrow home for two whole weeks! Then I’ll be headed back to Seattle on the 12th. I hope none of the other legs are as stressful as yesterday’s; if I never again have to drive through Montana at highway speed in a downpour for seven hours straight, it will be too soon.
Caution to the Winds
Posted in Biography, Perception, tagged activism, advertising, anecdote, blogging, courtesans on July 24, 2015| 4 Comments »
A lot of things have changed in my life in the past year or so, and foremost among them is the abandonment of anonymity. Of course, my legal name isn’t known, but then that brings up absolutely nothing interesting on Google anyway (unless you get a secret thrill from perusing the public land records of largely-rural counties). But as Maggie McNeill I’m known and recognized, occasionally even in public, so it was really a bit naive to think I’d be able to maintain a separate escort persona for very long. I therefore recently decided (with the help of several sex worker activist friends) to abandon that second persona and just do everything – speaking, writing and whoring – as Maggie McNeill. My website logos, text and url have been changed, and I’m in the process of switching all my advertising accounts to “Maggie McNeill”. I’ve built up quite a reputation over the past five years, and it seems silly not to use it to attract clients; I’d rather monetize my work in that way, indirectly, rather than by polluting this website with a bunch of ugly blinking, flashing, jumping, wriggling banner ads offering “free” sex with “horny housewives” and “barely legal nymphos”. In these times of aggressive “end demand” pogroms, that reputation may prove a vital lifeline to nervous clients; when a gentleman calls me there will be no doubt in his mind that I’m the real deal rather than a honey trap, and a referral from me should be good with the majority of escorts in any English-speaking country. Of course, my high-profile name may also attract unwanted attention of the dangerous kind, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take; I’m sure you’ll understand if I’m especially diligent with my screening now. It’s also true that some potential clients will be turned off by many of the opinions and truths I’ve expressed here; frankly, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone that insecure anyhow. So drop me a line, guys; little Maggie’s back in the saddle again, and this time she ain’t even wearin’ a mask.
Green Eggs and Ham
Posted in Biography, Call types, Perception, Philosophy, tagged activism, anecdote, BDSM, psychology, sex work is work on June 19, 2015| 7 Comments »
You do not like them. So you say. Try them! Try them! And you may. – Sam-I-Am
Two and a half years ago I published “Due Consideration“, in which I discussed issues on which I had changed my mind due to the persuasive arguments of others:
Despite my steady progress toward cronehood, I find that I still do change my mind on some things from time to time. Really, this isn’t surprising; while most people become steadily more conservative as they age, I have become steadily more radical. The reason should be obvious: as many of you have observed, I am unusually pragmatic and unafraid to follow ideas and observations to their logical conclusions…
But that column only discussed areas in which my political ideas had changed; my personal ideas hadn’t shifted at all, not for a very long time. And while I guess that isn’t especially unusual, neither is it conducive to personal growth; there were some things I had done the same way, or refrained from doing at all, or felt a certain way about, that were supported by absolutely no good reasons…or at best for reasons that ceased to be relevant twenty years ago. In fact, some of these things were counterproductive, impeded my happiness, or were downright harmful. So when I started looking at myself last autumn in the wake of my tour and my impending divorce, I began to see clearly that there was a lot of emotional, behavioral and psychosexual baggage best left behind at the station when I boarded that train for Seattle last November. I resolved to open myself up to new ideas and experiences; to refrain as much as possible from continuing to do things merely because I had always done them that way; and to recognize that “I’ve never done that before” is an argument for trying something rather than an argument against it. Though all of my friends (including Matt) have encouraged me in my journey of discovery, Jae & Matisse have been instrumental in making it happen; Jae encourages (some might say “goads”) me to keep an open mind about things and refuses to let me sell myself short, while Matisse is a genius at making me comfortable and providing me with irresistibly-attractive opportunities for exploration. You might say that Jae pushes, and Matisse pulls, and my other friends cheer me on or even strap roller skates to my feet, and in the end I nearly always discover that I really do like green eggs and ham, after all.
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