The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. – Bertrand Russell
In a response-thread following my column of August 11th, Sailor Barsoom and I discussed the difference between what women want and what men think we want, and I theorized about why so few women are willing to tell men the truth about it. I pointed out that because women are taught that sex is “dirty” they do not generally want to talk about it, and also that since most women instinctively wish to please our men we tend not to criticize male performance because we don’t want to hurt your egos. Other factors include the unfortunate female tendency to forget that men cannot read between the lines as well as we can and are therefore mystified or infuriated by female guessing games of the “You should know what’s wrong without being told!” variety; and, the unfortunate male tendency to think that if a little of something is good a LOT of it would be much better. Some problems arise from simple differences in terminology; an English-speaking person would probably be happy to be offered a “gift”, but a German might call the police because the German word gift means “poison” in English. As I mentioned in the aforementioned thread, when men say “sex” they usually mean “intercourse”, while women mean everything from kissing to afterglow. So if a woman says she wants “sex” to last hours, a man might think she actually wants to be pumped for hours, while in reality she means no such thing.
What it all boils down to is that ignorance breeds conflict, and the absolute WORST sort of ignorance is that which, rather than being characterized by a dearth of information, instead consists of a surfeit of misinformation; though both sexes are equally ignorant of the other’s sexuality, the latter type of ignorance is much more common among men. Most women know little to nothing about male sexuality (many are actually willfully ignorant), but most modern men are thoroughly convinced they know all about female sexuality even if all they actually know is a lot of myths, advertising spiel, propaganda and outright lies promoted by anyone with an agenda. One of my primary motivations in creating this site was to help dispel both kinds of ignorance, both by providing information and by exploding myths. And one of the most pernicious of these myths is the obviously false yet doggedly persistent notion, strangely common among both men and women, that most members of the opposite sex want the same thing as each other, or even worse that they want the same thing as the opposite sex! The truth, however, is that while there are some things 90% of men enjoy and some things 70% of women enjoy, and some things that 25% of humans enjoy, there is absolutely nothing which everybody wants all the time. This may seem obvious to the more worldly-wise reader, but you’d be amazed how many people don’t realize it.
So what I would like to do today is talk about some of the things I, personally, dislike in sex. I’m not doing this out of the bizarre exhibitionist impulse which inspires so many modern people to reveal their entire lives to complete strangers on Facebook or “reality” TV shows; after all, my neighbors don’t know me as Maggie McNeill. No, my motivation here is to demonstrate that even a woman as sexually open-minded as I am still has her own idiosyncrasies, so if you think “every woman” likes some of these things you would be wrong. If I know or suspect that a particular dislike is common either among whores or among the female population in general I’ll mention it, and if any of my female readers feel brave enough to comment on their own dislikes (or their feelings about the ones I dislike) I invite them to do so. Male readers need not feel left out; if there’s anything that “all men like” which you don’t (such as watching two girls together) please feel free to weigh in.
Woman on Top Position: I know I’m not alone in hating this one because I’ve talked to quite a few others who absolutely abhor it, though one wouldn’t know it from watching modern Hollywood movies. IMHO this is the lazy man’s dream position, because it requires the woman to do all the work. It’s great for men with small penises (big ones tend to bottom out) and excellent for premature ejaculators because it takes most men at least three times as long to come this way as in one of the male-dominant positions; once a man starts to get close he tends to speed up, but if the woman sets the pace he can instead concentrate on controlling it and thereby stop nature from taking its course. For this reason I can’t comprehend why any whore would prefer it, though I suppose some convince themselves that it puts them “in control” when in fact the opposite is true; one is far more in control with the man on top because one can control the angle and depth of penetration with one’s thighs and hips and one’s hands are more free to touch, stroke or whatever. In addition to everything else, “cowgirl” is just way too acrobatic for me, and I’m just not built to pump my pelvis up and down or back and forth like that.
Tongue in the Ear: You really do not want to see my reaction to this. Trust me. Really. A lot of women do seem to like it, but I’m not among them.
Sex in Weird Places: I know most guys and even a lot of women think this is very sexy, but as far as I am concerned a bed is more than adequate as a venue for sexual relations. Sand, dirt, dry leaves, insects, spiders or other, less identifiable debris in my genitalia are NOT my idea of a smashing good time, nor is being arrested for indecent exposure, nor having my head banged repeatedly against concrete, nor being crammed into some weird, cramped, smelly, unsanitary or all of the above position.
Pelvic Gyrations: Some men (especially of one particular ethnic group) seem to believe that moving their bodies from side to side and thus entering a woman from various angles like some kind of eccentric crankshaft is an advanced and effective sexual technique, but it’s so silly-looking and uncomfortable that even when it isn’t actually painful I have to fight back laughter.
Hickies: I know there is some primitive part of a man that wishes to leave his “mark” on a woman, but that is what buying her jewelry is for. Ugly purple bruises do not go with anything, and can put a working whore out of business for days if they can’t be concealed with makeup.
Gynecological Examination: I understand that men are visual creatures, but let’s face it: A woman’s genitals are not exactly pretty, and visiting the gynecologist is not exactly erotic. So for a man to closely examine my folds as if he were looking for ticks, or to stare into my vulva as though he expected to see the future in it, makes me very uncomfortable and triggers paranoid feelings about how I might look or smell no matter how carefully I clean myself before, after and between customers. I know for a fact I’m not remotely alone in despising this.
Foodstuffs: Grapes, bananas and other solid foods are fine; what I am referring to here are messy, sticky substances like caramel, honey, whipped cream, etc. Not only is this plain nasty, guess which partner is stuck cleaning the sheets?
Fingers Jammed into Orifices: I’m not really sure what pleasure men derive from this, though I suspect it may be nostalgia for teenage groping in cars. Fingers are nubbly, rough and have nails; they are sometimes dirty and/or calloused. A little finger is a LOT more painful than a big penis. I know lots of girls who hate this, especially whores (I even saw it in a published list of “don’ts” for escort clients). If you really want to maximize the annoyance potential, jam a few fingers into a girl’s vagina and anus simultaneously without benefit of lubrication, wriggle them around violently and then ask her in a leering voice if she likes it.
Female on Male BDSM: Although it doesn’t do anything for me, money is money. However, I refuse to ever let a man inside of me once I have dominated him (though some clients do indeed seem to think they’re going to get that). Given that few if any professional dominatrices will have intercourse with customers, I suspect that dislike of the combination is pretty widespread.
Fellatio by Force: I think everyone who has had the privilege of being on the receiving end will agree that I am quite expert at this activity; it is therefore unnecessary for the recipient to guide me by putting his hand behind my head and forcing it down onto his member until I am gagging and unable to breathe. I have only ever talked to one girl who was turned on by this, and she was a sexual submissive who was partial to rape fantasy; for whores this maneuver is especially threatening because it might be intentional rather than just something guys do when they’re excited.
Cunnilingus: I’m definitely in the minority on this one, because most women love it (though I do know a few others who don’t). I don’t hate it or anything, but neither does it do much for me; my clitoris is small and responds much more readily to indirect stimulation (by finger or intercourse) than direct. Most girls can at least get me aroused by doing it, but few men seem to know anything beyond the “dog’s water bowl” and “rub whiskered face into crotch” techniques.
Bad Kissing: Because so many men are bad kissers, I am very reluctant to kiss even regulars whom I suspect may be among them. There are three main classes of bad kissers: The Invader, who thinks the point of kissing is to shove his tongue all the way down one’s throat and leave it there for as long as possible; the Slobberer, who thinks the point of kissing is to remove all of one’s makeup with his mouth; and the Lizard, who flicks his tongue in and out of one’s mouth about twice per second, usually while wriggling it about wildly. The first two types are bad enough, but the Lizard makes me want to run screaming from the room. General advice for men: Most women kiss others in the same way as they like to be kissed.
Around the World: Although a change of position during intercourse is sometimes stimulating, it is unnecessary and annoying to try every position in the bloody Kama Sutra during every session. Moving furniture is not erotic.
Obviously, I could tolerate some of these in customers because it was for work rather than fun and had to be endured only for an hour at most. But can you imagine if I were an ignorant virgin married to a man who did one or several of these things? I might very well have ended up in that 20% of American women who think of sex as a “necessary ordeal.” As in so many other areas of human interaction, knowledge and communication go a long way toward preventing resentment and strife.
I used to date a girl who liked to have sex side to side. I HATED that position. It was so uncomfortable and awkward I found myself doing everything I could to have my conversation with God as quickly as possible. It really took all the enjoyment out of sex with her since she insisted on that position at some point during very one of our get togethers. Needless to say, we weren’t together veyr long. I dated another who only ever wanted to have sex doggy style. While I don’t necessarily have anything against that position, it became old fast when it was the only position she would have sex in. As I’m sure you can guess, that was another shortlived relationship.
Go Cowgirl, Go! Let the woman do al of the work!
lol.
Yes, you hit it on the button. The lazy man’s dream position. But, it also let’s the man grab the breast, for those who are breast-centric.
But your viewpoint is skewed from your courtesan’s point of view. You want to get the sex over with as quickly as possible. Hence, your complaint that the man can hold out longer. If you were more interested in the intercourse itself, I think your opinion would be a bit different.
Side-by-side is pretty awkward; I’ve never met a man who could thrust with anything like the force or pace needed to accomplish anything for me while lying on his side. I don’t really hate it, but it always seemed like a waste of time to me. 🙁
It’s not a problem if you use the girl’s foot (the one opposite the side you’re on) – as a “stirrup”. You have all the leverage you need then. All the girls I’ve been with will instinctively lock that foot up and start pulling up with it when you push down on it to thrust.
It’s highly erotic – because it turns into a “push/pull” cooperative rhythm.
Krulac, do you honestly think I didn’t know about that maneuver? It’s still far more trouble than it’s worth IMHO, because I shouldn’t HAVE to be helping any healthy male to do his part of the work.
It works for me. But it is one of the hardest positions to get to work that I’ve ever had to deal with. It is very awkward and it is hard to get the leverage and external positioning right so that one can have adequate internal positioning and proper forceful yet controlled thrusting. It also requires some physical conditioning. I sweat like I’m running if I’m doing it right. It get the job done for with lots of extra difficulty and less certainty. I’m only good at this because I practiced a lot with a girlfriend who would insist on a long side-session every time we had sex.
For the woman there are some subtle positioning of the legs and hips that help that allow side-by-side to be done well, I cannot describe them without a woman present to model it unfortunately. I’m not that good.
It requires two interested and enthusiastic partners who are familiar with each other and fairly aware of their bodies and have some small level of athleticism It takes a lot of team work! I’ve hard from enthusiasts that it become a slog of reinsertion for penises under 6″. I never had any issues, and am in no place to comment on this rule of thumb.
It’s a complicated and a fun one, but not my first choice, not even close.
i am a fan of the woman on her side and me straddling her lower leg. much easier on my older back!
Depending on the “fit” and the man’s style, that position can be quite nice. 🙂
yes, it can! 🙂
would help though if i had a little less belly 😛
Something I’ve wondered about is whether courtesans participate to the extent of having an orgasm, or whether they just enable/help their client to achieve one.
As in all sex it depends on the man, the woman, the mood, the time of the month and umpteen other, less definable factors. I’m sure a few rare specimens climax often with customers, while others never do at all; speaking only for myself, I didn’t about 98% of the time, though of course they never knew because I’m such an expert faker I can even fool women. The other 2% of the time I might have a sort of mini-orgasm (you probably know what I mean), and on rare occasions where everything was exactly right and I felt both safe and sufficiently stimulated I actually did have a true climax; most of those were with regulars but a few were not.
Dear maggie, is your experience with the faking the same for the other whores you know, etc.? What % do you think fake orgasms with customers? Did you contract yourself? By this I mean did you contract your vagina (like women can do to “exercise”) to have it appear like you really came? I ask this because Sailor Barsoom has asked me to do this a few times to see how it felt to him compared to the times I really came. He said it felt the same. Thanks in advance for any information on this.
I think virtually all pros fake at least some of the time, and most fake most of the time. Even if a woman is capable of orgasm with just about anybody, she can’t really relax with a client and that of course makes climax much more difficult (if attainable at all).
And yes, the contractions are part of my fake; I think noise without contractions isn’t really going to fool anyone but the most inexperienced men.
Dear Maggie, thanks for answering. This information brings up something I’ve wondered since I started posting here: do the customers then not care that the women are faking it? Is this what they expect and/or are willing to accept in order to get sex?
I’d say many don’t know, most don’t care, some care but understand that it’s a performance for their benefit, and a few suffer from the “myth of the wanton” and believe we’re all hot sluts who can climax at the drop of a hat.
I don’t hire prostitutes ’cause I’m a po boy (see, I couldn’t even afford the last two letters), but I imagine I’d follow something like this: of course they fake! What is a girl supposed to do: act bored? But, maybe every now and then, she comes for real. If I can’t tell if she’s faking or not, well I’ll just imagine that this is one of those times. 🙂 Probably isn’t, but a boy can dream.
It’s kind of like at the strip club. The hot babe isn’t rubbing herself against me and grinning and letting me touch despite the fact that it is FORBIDDEN because I’m the hottest specimen of manhood in the place, but for the length of a song I get to FEEL like I’m the hottest specimen of manhood in the place.
My conversation with God?… I’m so stealing this one! 🙂
Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domini
(Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord) 🙂
Amen! If only pretentious people of all kinds would ponder these words for a while!… (I personally find this often more humbling, in a directly personal way, than “we’re just a speck of dust in a far-away quadrant of a vast, vast universe…”).
I beg to differ. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder…
Among the various things you don’t like, one thing was, in my humble opinion, conspicuous by its absence: anal sex. Should I conclude that you actually enjoy it? More than half of the women I went to bed with said this would be a no-no for them; since it doesn’t do anything for me either, I never really minded. (The others usually didn’t mention it; the one or two who did mention wanting it actually made me suffer. I dunno… I have all kinds of wrong associations with the anal orifice, I’m sad to say. I’m always a bit shocked to hear the men who say they want, or even love, it; there is one feature of many of my fellow men’s libido that has never made any sense to me. So there you are — people are indeed different, there’s nothing everybody likes.)
On cunnilingus: the Clouds of Ignorance around it seem to be dissipating, but alas! surprisingly slowly. There indeed is a world beyond dog-lapping and face-in-crotch… It’s not a bad idea to read a couple of books on the topic, especially if written by women, but as you say there’s nothing everybody likes, so I’d suggest experimenting with a willing lady as you read (preferably one more sensitive to it than you, Maggie), and if she has had experience with it, then listen to everything she says! By sheer luck, my first girlfriend’s clitoris — a rather large one, as clitores go — was very sensitive to all kinds of stimulation, including oral, and I, despite being the virgin (she wasn’t), was the first guy to go down on her; the look of sheer surprise in her face — the wrinkles on her forehead, the raised eyebrow, the quick blinking, the timid smile — as she said ‘I think I like that!’ was so cute!… But indeed, that was beginner’s luck: the very next woman who went to bed with me did not like my efforts at all — and I was so sure it would work! It did with the first one! And they’re all alike… right?…
One thing I would say to men: sure, educate yourself about cunnilingus, and then try it; as Maggie says it is very popular, so the odds that it will please her (if you listen, go with the waves, read a little, etc.) are good. But if it doesn’t work… if you give it an honest try, but it doesn’t work… then don’t insist. Don’t obsess; it doesn’t have to always work, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad lover, etc. etc. etc. If you keep insisting, in the best case scenario you’ll get her to fake it, or then she’ll go into I-don’t-want-to-hurt-your-fragile-male-ego mode, which you surely don’t want; and probably you’ll just spoil the mood. No; let go of it, and try something else.
On kissing: I was a very poor kisser, Maggie, because, strangely enough, I had a few hang-ups about it (would you believe I kept thinking about all that saliva?… plus, a person’s face tends to look a bit gross when seen from a kissing perspective: enormous nose, visible skin pores… I quickly understood why girls either closed their eyes or looked away. At first I didn’t. Ugh.). I actually reacted pretty much like you when my first girlfriend did try to insert her tongue into my mouth: my eyes went open like saucers and I had to struggle not to kill the mood. My first girlfriend didn’t solve my ‘kissing issue’, nor did the second, but the third actually was sorry for me and decided to help me out. One of the things she said was what you wrote here: women like to be kissed the way they kiss. She also said several things that put together sounded like Valentine Michael Smith’s kissing style in Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land: go slowly, don’t slobber, put yourself and your full attention into what you’re doing, follow the waves… (One thing I found particularly difficult was dealing with nose-touching. I tended to move too much — a little nervous, I was… — and my nose kept touching hers. I think I’ve improved significantly by now; but, all in all, I had a harder time with kissing than with cunnilingus. Go figure!…
BDSM: what struck me was that a small, yet to me still surprisingly high, number of women among those I slept with had some mild submissive fantasies, like being spanked, or being called names (‘oh be rough with me! call me a dirty whore!’, one said… ‘whore’, ahn? interesting…), or having their hands tied with a handkerchief; one even did have a rape fantasy. That kind of play, especially with me on the dominant role, really does nothing for me; but I did indulge them in the cases when I thought I could (pretty much all the cases, except for the rape fantasy; that I couldn’t force myself to do; I hope she wasn’t doing that to be “attractive” or “fascinating” to me, because it had the exact opposite effect.)
Yes, yes, YES! Indeed, people need more information… But sex is still such a complicated thing in the American psyche! It’s good but it’s bad, it’s healthy but it’s dirty, you have to do it but be ashamed of it… Even in this day and age, it’s not that easy to talk about it without people having strange emotional/irrational reactions.
I’ve always liked anal sex with boyfriends, but customers simply can’t be trusted to follow instructions so it doesn’t hurt. 🙁
Interesting. As I said, as far as my experience is concerned, you’re in the minority here. Most women I bedded didn’t want it, some even said “don’t even think!”. 🙂
But I’m not into it, so: no harm done.
As a younger teen/man for whom most of my knowledge of sex came from porn (i.e. same as the vast majority), I eventually saw and read enough about anal sex to decide i was at least interested in trying it to see if I liked it.
Before i ever got a chance to though, I returned to school for nursing, and my interest in anal died a rapid and vicious death by terms such as “e-coli” and “urinary tract infection”.
Out of curiosity, why do you think most customers won’t follow instructions? Is it because they think that, since they’re paying, they should always get to do what they want?
Experience. Even most boyfriends stop listening when they get excited, and customers don’t need to live with you. See tomorrow’s (12/28) column for more details.
Maggie
That’s interesting. Doesn’t surprise me that women tend to feel that way when they’re fucking for fun. After all good sex for the great majority of women involves male dominance and female submissiveness during sex. That’s pretty much it’s essence.
Does surprise me a bit that you feel strongly enough about it in paid sex to turn down a gig potentially from a guy that wanted female dominant BDSM followed by penetrative sex. That’s a real aversion. I presume you’d have no problem w/him eating you out after his submissiveness?
As I said, the evidence is that a LOT of pros feel that way. Some don’t care, but they’re in the minority.
Very interesting. Thanks.
Are you able to elaborate on why you just like this so much? Right now I’m actually trying to find an escort willing to do so. I’m just trying to understand it was all thank you
Also been meaning to ask you as I read through your archives roughly what percentage of the time would you say you orgasm during paid sex? Did you fake it a lot?
You really don’t like cunnilingus with bf’s/your husband, without any sense of it being “dirty” etc.?? That’s REALLY unusual in my experience. I can see a call girl not wanting it for reasons similar to why she wouldn’t want to be kissed.
I’ve gotten a lot of girls hot and bothered by fingering them. A lot. Yeah one does need well clipped and of course clean fingers, and knowledge of what you’re doing.
I noticed you didn’t include male on female BDSM and sex. Are you open to letting a guy you feel you can trust do light stuff like spanking you before fucking you?
btw, I have been saving links to the old threads I’ve been commenting on in a folder and reading your answers, which I’ve appreciated.
Rarely and usually, respectively.
You only think it’s REALLY unusual because you’re a man and most girls who don’t like it will fake liking it so as not to hurt your feelings. Girls who don’t like it are definitely a minority, but not a tiny minority as you believe.
See the previous response. Girls who like having fingers shoved inside them (which is not the same as fingers rubbing the clit) are a definite minority.
That’s because I’m not averse to them.
You’re welcome. 🙂
Maggie–
Here I pretty much flatly disagree with you, on both experiential and logical grounds, based on some experiential priors.
First while you’ve had sex with one hell of a lot of men, I’m pretty sure I’ve had sex with a whole lot more women.
About the only women I’ve encountered who don’t like being eaten out at all are ones who’ve thought it was somehow dirty or immoral. A rarity among the girls I’ve gone for, but an extant one. Now don’t get me wrong, there’ve been a good percentage of girls that can pretty much take it or leave it.
However girls faking liking being eaten out to please the guy they’re with? Not buying it. First of all girls know that most guys either don’t much like doing it and certainly don’t get off on it themselves directly, or only like it when and if it really gets the girl off. So they know that saying naaah, just fuck me, is not going to some blow to the guy’s ego.
Believe what you like, Doug. You can lead a horse to water, etc.
Doug. I’m wondering how can Doug reside in every man? Yet he does! It is water, Doug. Not Kool-Aid. I don’t like being eaten out. It does nothing for me. Same thing with 69. In fact that is worse; because then I’m faking two things that I don’t like doing. But, to be clear; not one single man has ever known. Every one is out there thinking he was my best ever. It is amazing how easily men buy the faked orgasm. My favorites? (Like someone else posted, women will fake because it usually turns a man on and he will cum and sex is done.) When a man tells me he isn’t going to stop until I have another orgasm, ohhh yeah baby, that one is usually my best faked one.
Question I won’t answer truthfully: “Am I your best, ever?” The Dougs will TELL me he was my best, ever. Dougs usually like to jack-hammer, too.
I reason women lie because men can’t absorb the alternative. If I tell him the truth, he turns into Doug, who then makes it his mission to do something to me that I don’t like. WHY, Doug, why? Don’t you see? I will amp the
volume (fakery) so you get off of me. It’s really that simple. Then you think you are a stud. Righhht. If I tell you I liked it the next day, that’s only because I really like you or you have something else I want.
My favorites? Him on top, or him doing me doggie while I use my pocket rocket, which always delivers. Little nibbles on my neck. Good french kissing. My nipples and breasts being touched. Kisses on the inside of my thigh. Playful spanking. Humor. Lust filled eyes. Whispers in my ear. Dirty talk whispers in my ear. Soul music in the background. Quickies.
I’m gonna say a little something here.
You lie to men, and OK you have your reasons. Maybe you’re well, well justified in lying. But then you want to talk about how men are so awful for, in all truth, believing your lies. No really.
He thinks he’s the hottest stud because you told him he was. He doesn’t improve his technique because why should he? he’s a regular Casanova already. And that’s not his ego telling him that; that’s you telling him that.
Again, you may be justified in telling him this stuff, but it’s kind of silly to then act all “oh silly boy” because he believed you.
I love fingers inside me. more than cock. but then i am a lesbian, and my lovers fingers are clean, her fingernails are short, her fingers soft and her touch loving and intense.
And doug, girls will fake it for everything if it will make you stop 😉
although i love receiving oral, id still fake it if the guy doing it was no good, like you say, he probably not into it, and im not, so lets just fake it and get it over an done with.
yeh. and cunts are hot. way better looking than a penis. but. yeh, if you stare too intently at anything it can be a little offputting
Actually, I’m not really fond of the way penises look either; visually speaking, genitals of either sex don’t do anything for me.
“Woman on Top Position: I know I’m not alone in hating this one because I’ve talked to quite a few others who absolutely abhor it, though one wouldn’t know it from watching modern Hollywood movies. IMHO this is the lazy man’s dream position, because it requires the woman to do all the work.”
I usually use that for the initial penetration, not because I am lazy.
IMHO I am being gentlemanly to allow her the determine the timing and depth of penetration.
It’s pretty humbling to think that I have been doing it wrong all these years.
You haven’t been doing it wrong if your partners are among the 20% of women who prefer the position above all others, or the larger percentage who don’t mind. This column is only about MY dislikes; certainly there are other women who share them, but by no means all.
Thank you for responding. I may ask more questions.
By the way, I am enjoying your writing. Ever thought of writing a book?
It’s currently under negotiation. 😉
I’m just leaving this comment simply to say “thank god I’m not the only one”, you’ve just listed all of my pet hates on your list, including cunnilingus (not that I really hate hate it, its just that it does nothing for me – I was starting to think I was the only one).
No, you’re not the only one. We’re unusual, but not by any means unique; I had a high school friend who absolutely loathed it, and I know a number of escorts who either dislike it or can take or leave it.
Love the blog. Cunts are indeed hot, eating them turns me on in that it turns the woman on, which turns me on. I can understand there are exceptions like yourself; I would guess they are more common than men who don’t like blowjobs.
I’m not into two girls though. Ex leaving me for her girlfriend may have affected that.
Yeah, trauma has a way of inducing aversions!
You seem to have more aversions than perversions, and that’s unfortunate.
I’ve noticed that women who’ve been through the fuck-wringer, one way or another, become increasingly prudish as time goes by. There’s a lot of things they very definitely do not like, and they relish listing them.
Your extreme fastidiousness, which most would stupidly imagine to be surprising in a whore, is a species of hatred. You see the same thing with people who have spent too long in what is too mildly called “sales.”
No one who deals with the public for very long can escape this hatred.
I’m afraid your analysis is incorrect; my preferences have changed very little since I first became aware of them in my late teens. My fastidiousness isn’t based in “hatred”, except of dirt; even as a very young child I hated dirt and washed my hands a dozen times a day or more.
n/a,
thats a little… ummm…. patronising? I think what you mean (cos I too can tell people what they are really thinking) is that us whore’s have so much sex, that we can be really clear about what bits we like and what bits we dont like. I think the issue is, that women who do not have as much experience as we do, are sometimes led to believe that it is an issue with them, and they must just not be doing it right. But us whores know what we like and dont like.
A species of hatred? what tha? we cant enjoy some aspects of sex more than others without being accused of harbouring hatred? I dont hate men, or clients, or sex, I just preffer some aspects of sex more than others.
Relish in listing them? I think what your talking about is called being assertive. and your right, most of us whores do tend to become pretty assertive and dont have a lot of issue talking about our do’s and dont’s. I think that is healthy, i’d think men would be happy to hear how they can sexually satisfy a woman. But you obviously dont.
No wonder you have to pay for it.
“No wonder you have to pay for it.”
Ouch! O.O
I suspect when a woman who’s vocation is stroking male egos (often literally ;)) feels a need to deflate yours a bit, you can safely assume she’s genuinely offended.
I’m going to have to agree with her that you earned that shot too.
…Now if I could just untangle, in my own mind, the matter of a whore using the purchase of whores as an insult…
Would you call that hypocrisy? Irony? Circular reasoning? “No better person to judge?”
My head hurts a bit… >.>
Not purchase of whores,sweetie; hiring. Actually buying a slave-whore is incredibly expensive, very dangerous (if she eventually escapes, which is likely, they throw you under the jail) and totally unnecessary.
As for women using emasculating remarks, though, lots of us do it; I’m often tempted when I’m angry, and when I’m extremely angry I’ll actually let them escape my lips…calling a guy a pussy, or saying he has no balls, or (the mildest form) comparing him to a little girl or old woman.
I can’t understand a woman who has no nostalgie de la boue, though it can be a pleasure to introduce her to its delights. If you’ve had this grim hand-washing prissiness since adolescence, Maggie, then it’s time for a change. A trip to Berlin or Tokyo should get you sorted. I’m serious; it’s time for you to be introduced to some of the serious perversions. Hatred of dirt is hatred of reality. I know you understand this.
becauseimawhore,
It’s true that whores know what they like and what they don’t like. They like cash money and they like coke. I love whores, always have. When one wants to suck down a full bottle of tiny-bubbled nothingness and sit in the darkness, a whore is an excellent companion. They are full of knowledge and woe.
Lol, you sound fun 🙂
You are clearly a very closed-minded person; you seem to believe that your preferences are the “right” ones, and that mine are in need of “correcting”. This is no different from the way a prohibitionist or moralist sees the world, as any thinking person should understand. Furthermore, the idea that all whores like cocaine is utterly absurd; certainly many do, but then many people like the nasty stuff. For you to make such a blanket statement means you’re somehow (consciously or unconsciously) restricting your selection of whores to that population, though I must point out I’ve known at least two escorts who were happy to pretend to do the shit to please cokehead clients, but actually flushed it down the toilet.
You learn something new everyday. Until just now, I’d never encountered the term nostalgie de la boue. When I looked it up and found that it means “yearning for the mud” or “attraction to dirt,” I decided to use it in my story about a tomboy. Fortunately I kept reading and discovered that it’s used almost exclusively in a sexual way. Since my tomboy is eleven years old, there’s no sex at all in the story, and I really should avoid terms like nostalgie de la boue.
Shows how much you know. Whores actually prefer diamonds and Pepsi. Everybody knows that. 😉
Can we get Pepsi to reintroduce Crystal Pepsi to bridge the gap a little?
My apologies. I somehow remembered how weird CP tasted. Definitely not an effective bridge.
Nah, what we do is get this exported to the US. Well, OK, first we have to get the Japanese to take it up again.
That’s mindblowing. I want to try it, and the shiso flavor.
Thanks, everybody. You’ve all given me a craving for Club Lemon soda. Since it’s an Irish soda, and I’m in the States, I have a problem…
I’m sure that I’ve has shiso in Japanese food and just didn’t know it. I am so looking for shiso the next time I’m at the Asian market.
The last batch of natto I bought was moldy. I made peace with the bacterium along time ago; I don’t mind that. But mold is where I’m drawing the line.
“nostalgie de la boue”
Yes, a new term on me as well. I can see that being very common, *IF* the phrase is used as a euphemism and not literal.
Behaviors we see as “dirty” “naughty” that we are raised to believe good little girls and boys shouldn’t do, are inherently exciting even just for that quality.
THAT makes sense. I think n/a is interpreting the expression too literally.
I think (and dearly, dearly hope) an actual “filth fetish” is many orders of magnitude less common.
(Despite that it — more specifically a B.O. fetish — gets a disturbing amount of of page time in Japanese erotic comics… but anyone taking those as a serious reflection of an average, normal, healthy man’s genuine wants or expectations in a partner should probably turn themselves into the police now and save everyone time).
“Shows how much you know. Whores actually prefer diamonds and Pepsi. Everybody knows that.”
Well said.
i cant fake it unless you give me something to work with. if there is nothing that is sexually interesting then i cant fake it. if i fake it, its generally and genuinely an exaggeration rather than complete fiction
Most of mine was an exaggeration, though some was a complete fiction. And there are some (uncommon) times when what I had to endure was so awful I couldn’t even get motivated to fake. 🙁
I’m a guy (obviously) and I’ve never gotten any kind of a thrill out of girl-on-girl action. Don’t resent it or hate it — it’s just “meh” to me (yawn). Does that put me in an extreme minority?
Minority, yes. Extreme? Probably not.
Can’t say Joe.
I know I am a huge fan of the naked female body. That is my favorite part of the girl-on-girl action. Two naked famales are more than twice as fun as one.
While there are some exceptions, most women of my generation (which is also Maggie’s generation) don’t like to see two men together. It’s not only not a turn on, it’s a turn OFF.
But women of the younger generations seem to rather like it.
I like fingers if they are nice and clean, and if they don’t have any jagged edges. I also like cunnilingus, but I’ve noticed that having a (somewhat experienced) girl go down on you is a lot nicer. I can’t really come from it either, though.
I don’t like the tongue in the ear, but I do like my earlobe nibbled. What’s more of a turnoff for me is when someone pants in my ear. I know that they are turned on and all, but that close it sounds like a weird bellows.
What’s a super major turnoff for me though is bad hygiene. I don’t much care about weird stubble, but odors, toilet paper remains, lack of deodorant, etc. are super gross.
Also, I get what Sailor says about women watching guys together. Most older ladies are all freaked out by it, but I’ve met a few younger girls that think it’s hot (including myself). I kind of like it because I figure if a guy likes watching two girls because it’s hot, then why shouldn’t I like watching two guys because they’re hot?
Lots of girls like a little yaoi.
I don’t like heels, and the higher they are the worse it is. They don’t turn me off per se, but they also do absolutely nothing for me.
Is this weird or unusual? I have a feeling it’s a lot more widespread than reading blogs and media would suggest.
“Woman on Top Position: I know I’m not alone in hating this one because I’ve talked to quite a few others who absolutely abhor it, though one wouldn’t know it from watching modern Hollywood movies. IMHO this is the lazy man’s dream position, because it requires the woman to do all the work.”
LOL…but, as always, there’re anomalies.
I do woman-on-top of me same as I do missionary — I choose to do the majority if not all the work. I encourage a woman to relax and rest her torso down on mine (and/or hold herself up on her arms or against the headboard or whatever, if she prefers) and I proceed to do all the thrusting from underneath. Whatever work she does is incidental, spontaneous, and secondary, but unnecessary. I rarely orgasm from the position myself, so it’s not a variation I choose for that reason.
I’m a longtime lifestyler and open-married, providing a no-strings situation which enables a woman to be sexually more assertive “about what she wants”, and most of the many women who have invited me back for subsequent playtimes have requested my version of woman-on-top again.
I suppose, though, that it’s not technically “cowgirl”, since it’s not the girl on top doing the active riding. But it is woman-on-top.
By the way, I recognized decades ago (I’m 58) that true “cowgirl” is probably the riskiest position a guy can engage — one uncontrolled slip-out, and he’ll feel over a hundred pounds crushing his erection like a sledgehammer.
What I like about woman-on-top is that it leaves my hands free. Depending on whether she’s laying or sitting on top of me, I can put my arms around her, swat her ass, rub her clit, tweak a nipple, even stroke her hair (I mean the hair on top of her head). I can’t do much of that when I’m using my arms to hold my weight off of her. I mean, there are ways around that, but cowgirls get a lot more hand action because I can do a lot more with my hands. In truth, I don’t think I’ve tried a sexual position and not liked it, but then I haven’t done some of the more acrobatic things.
“In truth, I don’t think I’ve tried a sexual position and not liked it, but then I haven’t done some of the more acrobatic things.”
I’ve always been in good shape (I’m a lifelong-drug-free bodybuilder), been with a fair number of women, and neither have I done the more acrobatic things, not even when I was in my youthful prime and most flexible. Kinda dampens the mutual pleasure when my focus is diverted to sustaining some contortion.
I suspect almost all the people who actually, enthusiastically, choose to do acrobatic stuff are the characters in erotica.
Yeah, I hate tongues in my ears too. And nails on my back. Just because I like cats doesn’t mean a woman has to impersonate one (not in that way, anyway). Food and sex doesn’t mix for me either. A girl once called me a prude because of that.
I have to admit that I love cowgirl… though I do agree it’s not very good as a sex position and downright dangerous to use as one. I just love the visual aspect of it. I see it more as a foreplay position than anything else.
Oh yes, the whole BDSM thing… I once, long ago, fooled around on some of the chatrooms out of curiosity (and other motivating factors). I really felt sorry for the male subbies. They just didn’t get the respect the female ones did. On a side note, every woman I’ve ever been involved with seem to have a certain attraction for the not-so-vanilla… Maybe I attract them (or used to, to be more accurate). It was never really my thing (which is why I never did it for real), but I would never deny someone a request (as long as it’s sane!).
Personally, I love girl-on-girl action. But I don’t actually get a rise out of it… it’s more an aesthetic thing (albeit a very powerful one). Come to think of it, I pretty much view the act of stripping in the same light too.
There’s something here that needs mentioning. I don’t have any proof, but I suspect that no man has ever been born a good kisser. If a man is a good kisser it means some girl took the trouble to teach him how. I know that because someone once found me worthwile enough to teach me. Food for thought (or perhaps only for me).