What the Hell Were You Thinking?

My point is that, yes, the police should pursue the thief and he should be punished. But at the same time, the police – and I – have the right to say to you “You stupid idiot, what the hell were you thinking?” –  Camille Paglia

In her 1991 essay “Rape and Modern Sex War”, the ever-controversial Camille Paglia called for women to protect themselves from rape by being aware of its origin in male sexuality and avoiding situations in which it is likely to occur; Paglia’s point, with which I wholeheartedly concur, is that “Women who do not understand rape cannot defend themselves against it.”  Mainstream feminists enthusiastically promoted classes which taught women to be aware of their surroundings, to avoid being alone in secluded areas, to refuse strangers entry to their houses, etc.  But these tips are only helpful against stranger rape, the least frequent kind! Paglia’s suggestion that women avoid doing things like being alone with men they haven’t know very long or getting drunk at frat parties in order to avoid the MOST common form of rape, that by acquaintances, was greeted with a firestorm of controversy and accusations that she was “condoning rape” or “blaming the victim”.  She had, of course, anticipated this would happen and in the essay likened such risky behaviors to driving one’s car to New York City and then leaving your keys on the hood (culminating in the epigram above).  This is not blaming the victim; it’s acknowledging reality.  Women are not incompetent children, and must be aware of the possible consequences of our actions in order to avoid undesirable ones.

Whores who don’t know this in the beginning must learn it quickly if they’re to survive.  I doubt very many in our community blame a sister if she’s raped, but at the same time we know that we’re responsible for our own safety and must therefore use caution, backup, screening, referrals, intuition and/or other preventative measures so as to lower the chance of rape (or other types of violence) as much as we can.  A hooker who labors under the delusion that she can go unarmed and unmonitored into the home of a man she has never met without risking rape or worse is a fool and may very well end up a statistic; but amateurs blithely do this all the time, apparently under the same touching belief in the protective power of innocence which causes them to eschew proper condom use.  I don’t care what a “good girl” you are or how “nice” he is, you can still contract syphilis or venereal warts, become pregnant or be raped.  And if something awful does happen, no amount of finger-pointing (or criminal prosecution in the latter case) will undo the damage, so isn’t it better to use a few simple preventative measures you can learn from the pros?

The oldest of these is of course the referral; when my mother was a girl almost nobody would accept a date with a boy she had never met unless they were introduced by mutual friends.  The sexual revolution changed all that, but at the cost of increased risk of acquaintance rape.  I’m not telling you never to accept a date with a stranger, but what I am telling you is that if you don’t have any references as to his past treatment of women then, logically, you have no evidence of his probable behavior when alone with you.  Most internet escorts ask for referrals from other escorts for exactly this reason; if he’s treated others well in the past he’s likely to treat the next girl just as well.  As I mentioned before, some amateurs even use Date Check nowadays, just like pros do.

But even if you’re the sort with romanticized notions about “spontaneity” and a thing for stranger sex, there’s still a simple precaution you can take which will help ensure your safety in most cases:  checking in and out.  Any reputable agency knows exactly where a girl is going and requires her to check in by phone once she arrives and sees everything is OK; if she doesn’t call out by the prearranged time, the agency will call her instead.  Even many independents have a friend or husband with whom they check in and out, and so can amateurs; it’s a simple matter to call one’s sister, roommate, mother or other interested party to report where you are and how long you’ll be there.  Not only does a callout give one an excuse to escape from a situation which has become uncomfortable or potentially dangerous, it also sends a clear message to the man:  People know where I am and how long I’m supposed to be here.  Most of you have probably heard the saying “Locks don’t stop a thief, they just keep honest men honest”; this is the same thing.  It’s difficult to stop someone who intends to commit a crime with malice aforethought; what basic protective measures do is to deter opportunistic crimes.  Locks prevent morally weak people from being tempted to easy thefts, and the knowledge that others know a woman is with him might stop a man with poor impulse control from succumbing to the desire to rape her.  It’s not foolproof, but it does work; I can remember a number of cases in which a “creepy” client’s demeanor changed when I checked in, or when a man who was slipping out of my control was shocked back into civilized behavior by the ringing phone signaling his time was up.

Ladies, this ain’t rocket science.  Nobody’s suggesting you be a scared little bunny holed up in your hutch all the time, nor implying that you’re at fault if a man does something reprehensible to you.  But honestly, is it worth it to you to endure a rape just to prove how independent and gutsy you are, or worse to further your political agenda?  You wouldn’t leave your car keys on the hood; you wouldn’t leave your purse on a park bench; you wouldn’t leave your front door wide open while you went on vacation; you wouldn’t leave your cat alone with an uncaged hamster or a four-year-old with a big plate of cookies; and you shouldn’t trust your personal safety to someone who might be a wolf without taking at least basic protective measures.  Whores deal with horny male strangers for a living, and we don’t trust them blindly; do you honestly think you should?