I don’t think it’s controversial (it certainly shouldn’t be) to say that street workers suffer far more violence than sex workers with higher screening barriers. It’s not like every damned study ever done on the subject hasn’t said the same thing. If this is in any way controversial to some people, I’d say it derives from the modern infatuation with Manicheanism. Far too many moderns want to believe that all of society can be neatly divided into sheep and goats, “workers” and “capitalists”, renters and landlords, oppressors and oppressed, white and POC, old and young, straight and queer, etc, etc, ad nauseam. So when people laboring under that grievous cognitive error see a statement like “x is safer than y”, they read it as “X is completely safe and Y unrelentingly dangerous”. But of course, that’s no more true than any of the others; we don’t live in a Hollywood black hat/white hat world. The first time I was ever raped on the job, it was by a businessman in a 5-star hotel, but that doesn’t change the fact that on average, I was safer from violence by clients, cops, and criminals than my sisters on the streets. The chance of a suburban kid being killed by cops firing wildly into her parents’ house is dramatically less than that of an inner-city kid suffering that fate, but it still isn’t zero. And of course the same can be said for all those other imaginary dualities. Sex workers who should certainly understand the wrongness of Madonna vs whore will nonetheless subscribe to the equally absurd renters vs landlords or labor vs management dichotomies if they find it politically convenient to do so, even while simultaneously condemning the state’s pretense that sex workers can be cleanly divided by a bright, clear line from “pimps” (despite the fact that this notion is a littermate of the Marxist labor vs management divide).
Posts Tagged ‘screening’
Imaginary Dualities
Posted in Perception, Philosophy, The Dark Side, tagged agency denial, cops, language, left-right myth, Madonna/whore, prohibitionist myths, rape, screening, streetwalkers on December 15, 2022| 1 Comment »
In the News (#1292)
Posted in Current Events, Miscellaneous, News, Tyranny, tagged agency denial, brothels, censorship, China, cops, disease, Do As I Say, domestic violence, Georgia, internet, language, law, Nevada, New Mexico, No Friend of Ours, prisons, propaganda, racism, scams, screening, serial killers, Stop faking!, streetwalkers, surveillance, The Cop Myth, The Mob Rules, Torture Chamber, United Kingdom, violence vs. sex workers, Virtual Imperialism, What Were You Thinking?, Wisconsin, You Were Warned on November 26, 2022| Leave a Comment »
[KOSA] is the ultimate “let’s just blame the internet for anything bad” bill. – Mike Masnick
What the Hell Were You Thinking?
While prohibitionists get big bucks to harass sex workers, spread anti-whore propaganda and work with cops to target women for state violence, organizations which work to actually support sex workers get by on little more than volunteer hours and good wishes. There’s nothing in this article about Street Safe New Mexico and the bad date list it maintains for street workers which will surprise sex workers or regular readers, but perhaps if articles like this keep appearing some big moneybag like Bezos or Gates, trying to make a name for himself as a philanthropist, will recognize this as an area where he really can make a difference for hundreds of thousands of women in the US alone. And the fact that it appears in Cosmopolitan is another sign that feminism is slowly, falteringly, moving away from its misogynistic demands that the state violently police women’s sexual behavior.
Those laboring under the delusion that Nevada is even remotely whore-friendly need look no further than this collection of dysphemisms, infantilization, racism, copaganda, bizarrely-stilted Copese, lurid fetishization of police victims, puritanism, distortion, and outright lies vomited out by “journalist” parrots after fellating their “law enforcement sources”. The persecution of a very ordinary business is made to seem something like the adventure of a TV hero breaking up a terrorist plot to kill millions, rather than a simple-minded scheme for a gang of thugs to molest women and harass migrants in order to justify their pathologically-bloated budget while getting themselves off.
Authoritarians want you to pay for more such hell-holes to torture even more people in:
…A new…report from the the [Fulton County Georgia] jail’s medical provider reveals that…the jail’s most vulnerable…[prisoners a]re wasting away in squalid conditions…more than 90 percent…were so malnourished that they had developed cachexia, a wasting syndrome that typically affects people with advanced-stage cancer…the men were detained in filthy cells and…over 90 percent…had not been “receiving essential medications” or completing their…activities of daily living…such as showering, dressing, using the toilet, and eating…every person in the unit had lice or scabies—in some cases both—a[bout which nothing was done until one prisoner died from the neglect]…on…Sept. 13…
Beijing’s campaign to silence Chinese people outside China is becoming more aggressive:
…Criticism of the CCP has been rising in the ranks of censored topics on American campuses. Whether it’s among professors adapting their classrooms to skirt Hong Kong’s oppressive national security law, administrators fearful of alienating lucrative funding or partnership opportunities, or international students worried that basic academic discussions will cause legal trouble at home, there is a growing problem in higher education….[which] comes with global implications: It’s getting a lot harder to talk critically about Xi Jinping, the CCP, and the human rights violations taking place in China. This shift was on full display at GWU in February when [Chinese] students launched [an] anonymous protest…[by] post[ing] artwork from Australia-based Chinese artist Badiucao satirizing China’s human rights record and the ethical issues raised by its hosting of the Olympics…it took less than 24 hours before the…[Beijing-backed] Chinese Students and Scholars Association (CSSA) [demanded the protest be censored], calling for the responsible students to be “punished severely”…
These attempts to destroy the internet are just going to keep getting worse:
…a [gang of censorious politician]s is attempting to include the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA) in a year-end “must pass” omnibus bill, ramping up the bill’s chance of passage. While KOSA has been touted as a bill that would provide [so-called] accountability for tech companies by regulating their interactions with [legal minors], the bill would…instead…enact confusing, vague regulations upon tech companies that would encourage even more surveillance of users, and it would [allow]…parents [to file nuisance lawsuits] upon tech companies [on the same kinds of flimsy pretexts allowed by laws like FOSTA]…
Do As I Say, Not As I Do (#1264)
It’s always lovely to see them feeding on each other:
A…[typical and representative cop] has been jailed after he…arrang[ed] to meet a[nother cop fantasy role-playing online as a] 15-year-old girl…Alex John Foster…was [arrested by the fantasy role-player and his cronies] in a [KFC parking lot] with condoms and lube [the other cop had asked him to bring. Foster is clearly not very bright even by cop standards, because]…he…told the [fantasy role-playing cop]…“she could be an undercover police officer” [yet went anyway]…
Sleeping with a cop is one of the most dangerous things a woman can do:
Madison [Wisconsin cop] Cary House was arrested and charged with…strangulation…of [his girlfriend. The victim]…said House had been drinking all day when he entered her room where she was lying in bed with her young daughter; House started yelling at her and choking her…This isn’t the first time…House has…[been arrested for violent drunkenness]. In 2013…he was suspended without pay after…[firing] a gun while under the influence during a social gathering at his home…three [other Madison cops]…have been arrested within the last two weeks in separate, unrelated incidents…
I find paywalls distasteful, and so many people find this blog valuable as a resource I just can’t bring myself to install one. Furthermore, I find ad delivery services (whose content I have no say over) even more distasteful. But as I’m now semi-retired from sex work, I can’t self-sponsor this blog by myself any longer. So if you value my writing enough that you would pay to see it if it were paywalled, please consider subscribing; there are four different levels to fit all budgets. Or if that doesn’t work for you, please consider showing your generosity with a one-time donation; you can Paypal to maggiemcneill@earthlink.net or else email me at the same address to make other arrangements. Thanks so much!
Ward Against Evil
Posted in Perception, Q & A, The Dark Side, Tyranny, tagged Advice for Clients, cops, Magic Formulae, psychology, screening on July 15, 2021| Leave a Comment »
Some escorts in my area insist I pay with an Ebay gift card instead of cash because they believe that this will protect them from prosecution if I am a cop. Is that true?
Nothing protects anyone from prosecution; prosecutors can basically do anything they like, and pretending otherwise is just whistling past the graveyard. As the expression goes, “you can beat the rap, but you can’t beat the ride”. A competent lawyer might be able to use various things as part of a defense to win a dismissal or “not guilty” verdict, but cops can arrest anyone they like without any valid reason, and since the invention of plea bargaining, prosecutors have no reason not to file charges against anyone (except violent cops, of course). The only relatively-sure way to avoid prosecution is not to end up in a room with a fantasy role-playing cop in the first place; from the escort’s side that means good screening practices, and from the client’s side that means sticking to established providers with good reputations. There are no magic words, practices or talismans that will ward off the evil of state violence any better than carrrying a rabbit’s foot or making the sign of the cross.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Green
Posted in Q & A, tagged advertising, Advice for Clients, screening on January 14, 2021| Leave a Comment »
For someone fairly “green”, how much of an obstacle will lack of references be? I only have one prior engagement made through an international agency some years ago; would that suffice? I saw a reference to “verification service” on the contact form on your website; could this help me? Also, I’m from a small city; scheduling an appointment in the nearest large one is challenging for a variety of reasons, though I do intend be opportunistic, if I’m in the area.
First of all, you may find this article I wrote for Reason magazine three years ago useful; it has a lot of basic information you may not have considered. I think it’s unlikely most US escorts would accept an international reference, except from Canada; since it’s rare for prospective US clients to produce international references, even the attempt might seem odd to most US escorts. And because we learn to trust our instincts, even an odd feeling might cause an escort to reject you, especially during this time when cops are aggresssively trophy-hunting. I therefore think it would be better for you to look for an escort who is “newbie friendly” (ladies who are will generally advertise thus), and relies on some form of screening other than references. You will need to provide whatever information she uses for the check (probably full name, profession, phone number, stuff like that; she may also require a deposit). After you see her, she can in turn provide references to other escorts. A verification service may help you; this is a company which verifies that you are who you represent yourself to be, usually by checking your employment and/or a background check. You needn’t worry about discretion; it is not in such services’ best interest to violate your confidence or risk exposing you, because such a breach would undermine its business model (the same can be said for escorts, BTB; one of the things you’re paying for is discretion). The best-known such service in the US is probably P411; it is not without faults, but I doubt you’ll have to worry about them.
I think it would probably be better for you to seek your first US experience in the nearby large city rather than your own small one, even if that means making some excuse to travel to the city overnight. In a larger city, you’re more likely to find experienced professionals who will work with you, and references from well-known escorts are more likely to be widely accepted than references from a relative unknown in a small city. Also, many of the escorts in smaller cities tend on average to be less professional for the simple reason that they have less business and fewer personal contacts with other pros; many small-city escorts don’t screen as thoroughly, and their vouch for you is therefore less likely to be useful when booking other escorts in the future. Plan ahead; do your research and make a date well in advance rather than simply blowing into town and then opportunistically trying to make a same-day appointment, because that will sharply limit your selection and you may not be able to arrange anything at all.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Semi-retired
Posted in Biography, Call types, Perception, tagged activism, advertising, psychology, screening, sex work is work on January 2, 2021| 6 Comments »
Twenty-one years ago today, on January 2nd, 2000, I started escorting full-time; now today I’m officially semi-retiring. I had originally hoped this day would come much sooner, but life happened and financial disasters befell me, and it wasn’t until two years ago that I realized the time had finally come to scale back my professional life. When I first went full-time I had already been doing various kinds of sex work (compensated dating, sugaring, stripping, etc) on and off for fifteen years, and after today I’ll still be seeing my regular clients (and other gents who have seen me at least once before) and a very few who come recommended by friends. Even during the past 21 years I’ve done several different kinds of work (agency escorting, bachelor parties, running my own agency, independent escorting, and even a long-term exclusive gig). So, this isn’t a simple, linear matter of retirement as it is in straight jobs, and yet it does feel like an ending. I’m no longer using traditional advertising, no longer allowing myself to be solicited via text message by marginally-literate cretins, no longer screening so as to avoid said cretins (not to mention violent costumed rapists), and no longer seeing anyone without planning days or weeks in advance. This doesn’t mean I’m cutting back on activism just yet; I plan to keep writing regularly for a while, and doing public appearances when those become a thing again, and in fact I may possibly have more time and energy for such activities now. But even in that department, things have changed; when I first became an activist there weren’t all that many of us in the US, and now I’m glad to say there are thousands. So all in all, I feel like it’s time to put away my dancing shoes, and settle into my role as an “elder stateswoman” of the demimonde, leaving the field of action to my much younger sisters…including those who weren’t even born yet when I started.
Another Kind of Haggling
Posted in Call types, Perception, tagged bad customers, ethics, psychology, screening on September 17, 2020| 2 Comments »
Haggling isn’t actually about the relative expense of a sex worker’s price; it’s a means of trying to circumvent her boundaries. As I explained nine years ago in “Head Games“,
…[most] men who haggle can easily afford the girl’s price, they simply want to get her to back down from it in order to feel as though they’ve won a victory over her…men who have reviewed expensive escorts will still haggle with girls who charge half as much; this demonstrates that it’s not about the money but rather about getting the girl to accept a compromise. More subtle types will accept an escort’s price, but will try to get her to compromise one of her other rules in some way; for example, if a girl has published hours they’ll try to get an appointment just before or just after those hours, or if she refuses same-day appointments they’ll try to get one. A girl who only accepts certain forms of communication will be pushed for another form (for example, her personal phone number)…
Since the demise of the quickie ad sites in the last two years, we’ve seen another type of haggler become more common: the guy who tries to avoid screening. This kind of sleazebag is hardly new; every sex worker has dealt with men who seem to think their nervousness is more important than her safety. These self-important schmucks love to pretend that outing clients is a real concern, despite the fact that…
Every whore understands that it’s wrong to out clients; “about 20% of men see sex workers occasionally…yet we don’t see anything like 20% of men exposed as clients. The fact that ignorant people believe the nonsensical claim that fewer than 15% of men have ever paid for sex tends to point toward the lifetime exposure rate as being even lower than that…” And it isn’t only a matter of ethics; a whore who got caught outing clients would be destroying her own brand for good, so there are good practical as well as moral reasons for keeping our mouths shut about the famous men who end up between our legs…
Sometimes a request for screening information will provoke a torrent of abuse, clearly demonstrating why being alone with such a man would be a spectacularly bad idea. But on other occasions, the wannabe client will try to convince the sex worker to eschew screening by insisting he’s a “nice guy”; appealing to her avarice by waving fantasy sums of money and/or promises of an “ongoing relationship” should she relent (a promise worth precisely as much as it cost him to make); or proposing she spend all the prep, travel, and social time to meet him in person to “see if we’re a good fit” (conveniently providing him with social time while demonstrating next to nothing about how he’ll behave in private). I had one of these clods attempt all three with me in a five-text conversation last week; given that his last text was a flurry of insults, pomposity, and accusations of dishonesty and impersonation (“my guess is you’re…posing as an escort“), he unwittingly demonstrated, as such men generally do, that my decision not to see him was a wise one.
Taxing Questions
Posted in Perception, Q & A, Tyranny, tagged advertising, Craigslist, Mentoring, screening, sex work is work on March 12, 2020| 2 Comments »
Many years ago I was in the business through Craigslist, but am looking to get back in as a true courtesan. Two topics baffle me and I’d appreciate your advice. First is screening; I never did this before, just used my gut and only once regretted it. Is this a common practice? Do men give their real info? Second: I have a legitimate job, so what I make here is going towards debt and savings. I want to deposit any money in the bank. Do I need to pay taxes? Do people want to pay with credit cards? Should I form a LLC?
I think you should do a bit of research before going any further with your plans. You can start with my “mentoring” and “screening” tags, both of which should give you plenty of material to help with your questions. Next, you need to get rid of the idea that sex work is not a legitimate job, because it is, albeit a suppressed one. Many people who have a square job and just do a little escorting on the side do not report their cash income even though it’s illegal not to, because prostitution is already illegal so I guess they figure “in for a penny, in for a pound”. But being a “true courtesan” is a full-time job; if you’re going to go that route it would be most unwise to completely avoid taxes because the IRS will destroy your life if they catch you. If you’re only doing it as a side-hustle you probably don’t need to take credit cards or start an LLC, because you simply won’t have the kind of volume that requires that. However, it’s easy enough to take credit cards via Square. And if you’re going to start an LLC, you had best think long and hard about what you’re going to claim it does, because banks and such are nosy and will cut you off (and possibly steal your money) if they think it’s from sex work.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)