Archive for May 22nd, 2013

Can relationships with different sexual histories really last?  Say for example one partner has had over 50 partners while the other one has had 2 or 3, or one only having experience with oral/vaginal and the other everything under the rainbow?  Are such relationships very likely to fail, or are they just like any other relationship?

hot and coldNumber of partners is completely immaterial unless one of the partners uses it to make trouble.  Usually, it’s worse if the woman has had more sexual partners than the man, but I’ve also seen women who will use a man’s relative promiscuity as an excuse to fight.  I’ve also seen many relationships with HUGE disparities work out just fine.  As with anything else, if two people are really compatible it’s just not an issue; if they aren’t, anything can trigger arguments.  It’s certainly true, however, that a person used to a lot of variety in activities might get bored if his partner is strictly the missionary-in-the-dark type and refuses to adapt.

I recently started a new, high-paying job, but I won’t get my first paycheck until next month and I have a lot of bills that can’t wait.  So I am thinking about posting on Backpage and escorting for a short while.  However, I don’t have a car and I’m not sure how much to ask in Dallas (is $200 an hour too much?)  Also, how can I protect myself from undercover cops?

If you’ve never hooked before, you need to be extremely careful.  $200 is typical for Dallas, so that’s OK; having men come to your location (incall) is actually helpful for avoiding cops because they generally prefer to have their targets come to them.  Of course, that still means you need to set yourself up in a hotel room first, unless you really want strangers knowing where you live (which I would not advise).  The alternative is either a taxi or getting a ride from someone you can trust to know what you’re doing.  You’ll need someone like that anyway; it’s not safe to be alone with a strange man without someone knowing where you are, what you’re doing, when he got there and when he’s supposed to leave (or when you got there and plan to leave).  If you don’t want to trust a friend, you might consider doing a few jobs for an agency instead of placing an ad yourself so that they can monitor you.  But if you do place an ad, please keep it tasteful; a lot of “sexy” talk attracts both sleazy guys and cops, and you don’t need either of those.  You didn’t mention health protection, but I cannot possibly stress enough that you absolutely MUST use condoms, no matter how much extra he offers you to skip them.  Finally, please read my post about screening and follow the advice in it.  Good luck!

What’s the difference between prostitution and escorting?  I have come across several high-end escort websites and I notice that all of these beautiful women have a disclaimer on the front page stating that payment is only for time and companionship, usually followed by “This is not an offer of prostitution!”  Does this mean I am safe from the law?  Is it legal to pay money for time and companionship services?

French cops with prostitutesThere is no difference between escorting and prostitution; though some escorts may claim differently, escorting is simply one of many types of prostitution.  The disclaimer you’re referring to is practically omnipresent on escort websites, and the protection is gives them is worth exactly what it cost for them to put it there: zero.  It’s just like the various formulae they imagine will reveal a cop in a sting:  “If you don’t take the money in your hand, they can’t arrest you,” or “cops aren’t allowed to take their clothes off,” or “cops can’t touch the girl,” or “cops have to answer truthfully if one asks if they’re cops.”  None of these things are true; they’re the equivalent of magical charms whispered by the superstitious before going into danger.  If a cop wants to arrest a woman he will, no matter what she says, does, doesn’t say, doesn’t do or writes on her website; even if the cops really had such rules (which they don’t), they would simply lie and claim the woman said or did whatever was needed to arrest her, or that they (the cops) didn’t do whatever it was they weren’t supposed to do.

So though the answer to your question is technically “yes” (it is indeed legal to pay for time and companionship), in actuality if you respond to a fake escort ad you will be arrested no matter what you didn’t say to the disguised policewoman.  The way to avoid this is to only make appointments with known escorts who either have good reviews or are recommended to you by friends; that way you know that the lady is a reputable businesswoman rather than bait to trick you into jail.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)

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