I recently went to get a body rub, and was only looking for the typical “happy ending” because I’m married and worried about STDs; however, when the hour was almost up she unexpectedly got on top of me — bareback. I came in about 10 seconds. Does she do that for everyone and just doesn’t advertise it, or did she actually like me? Is it possible for her to have used some device to make me think I was entering her when it was something else? I usually last longer than 10 seconds, but after almost an hour of incredible touching I couldn’t help myself; does she think I’m inadequate? I realize that this was a commercial transaction and I’m behaving as if it was something more, but I can’t help it.
First of all, if I were you I’d get checked right away. The chances are that she actually slipped a condom on you without your noticing (because some of us are extremely good at that), but since you don’t know for sure you need to be careful for your wife’s sake if not your own. If she honestly and truly did take you in bareback (not just between her thighs, which [again] some girls are extremely good at), there’s a very good chance she does it for lots of people, and that’s how diseases get spread. As I’ve explained many times, professionals are nearly always scrupulous about protection; however, the internet has made it very easy for inexperienced amateurs to get into the business without any opportunity to learn from more experienced ladies, and you have no way of knowing if your masseuse was one of them.
Yes, it’s possible that she liked you, but for most women (especially most pros) that’s simply insufficient reason to get up on top of somebody and give him a freebie. The chances are, if she did it for you she does it for lots of people (even if it isn’t “everyone”), and since you can’t be sure she protected herself somehow (though it’s likely she did) you can’t afford not to get checked. Don’t panic; the chances are highly against your getting anything really scary, but chlamydia and the like are bad enough and I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes if your wife gets infected.
And no, she doesn’t think you’re inadequate; the word you’re looking for is “normal”. Personally, I was always a bit annoyed (though obviously I didn’t let him see it) if a client took more than a few minutes once he was inside; it made me worry that I was losing my touch!
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Sounds like a gender-reversed version of date rape. Even if she did slip a condom on him or just used her thighs, it was still unexpected and unwanted. I wouldn’t use the services of this particular masseuse again. In fact, any sex worker who appeared willing to go bareback with a client would make me say “no deal”.
Here, we see that not all commercial sex is truly professional sex; the latter has certain ethical and hygienic standards associated with it.
I have never heard of a reputable professional behave like the masseuse described here.
“FBSM” girls are so “YMMV” I honestly don’t bother with them. They advertise for a rub – but if you show up and they feel safe and are attracted to you – or at least not disgusted – they will often give you much more. I think they fall into the category of girls who want to do sex work but can’t “do it” unless they first see the guy whereas most escorts could care less.
If she gave him BB then I think it def means she was at least comfortable with the guy and would like him as a repeat customer. I don’t think it means she loves him though.
I don’t know about in America but in most of Europe hand relief isn’t covered by prostitution laws, so most masseuses do it, and most do a lot more (most massage parlours are thinly veiled brothels) but most the escorts I’ve spoken to are quite discerning in their clientèle, they won’t have sex with blacks, Asians, Arabs, or disabled men. I spoke to on escort who told me she charges different amounts to different men, charging most to guys who were impotent or had small dicks. I know that some of the girls who do 3 day bookings will spend more days with a client they like.
In the US you can get charged with prostitution for anything even the most perverted cop or prosecutor thinks of as sexual; for being alone with a cop; for asking a cop if he’s a cop; for not wearing underwear; for winking; for “acting sexy”; for walking while female…you get the picture.
Although I don’t comment much I do read your blog regularly, and I have noted from your past posts how draconian the prostitution laws are in the US. I think one of the biggest difference is that prostitution per se is unlawful, rather than just solicitation, brothel-keeping or pimping. There is such difference in attitudes, prostitution is not only legal in most of Europe but even where it’s illegal, the police can’t entrap women or use the absence of knickers as evidence of prostitution.
Good chance she took him to her thigh. But I still have questions about whether or not that is “safe” contact. Some girls will do full vaginal/penile contact with that move – only no penetration. So I wonder if that’s safe.
Yeah, he should get checked.
You can get those online now …
http://www.privatemdlabs.com/
Order online – and then report to a sample collection location … locally, and they even give you several choices in most places.
It’s basically how you get the check done with no one else in the world really knowing – not even your doctor.
And no – insurance won’t pay for it and neither will ObamaCare! 😛
I am not 100% certain but I believe HPV (genital warts) can be transmitted with external penis/vulva contact without the need for actual penetration.
Even if there was no penetration it’s just… fluids. Ew.
Met a girl from Michigan who was vacationing in Hawaii with her Catholic High school class in Hawaii (She was 18). Without getting into details I woke up the next morning with “matted” hair. 😍
She could have put out fires!
It’s all a mystery to me. I’ve seen different opinions and it’s difficult for me to sort out. Some will say ANY contact is high risk others will say if there is no penetration there is NO risk. I would like to think the latter is true but who knows? Prolly better to be safe than sorry.
I call the thigh thing a “stripper slide” and a Romanian girl did it to me for “foreplay” … For a split second I thought I was inside bareback. It was hypnotically awesome and I let it continue – but got tested later and everything was fine.
Yes, it can; that’s why I urge escorts to get vaccinated for HPV. It isn’t cheap, but it’s well worth it; a few younger pros may have already received the shots in their teens.
Should guys get it?
Yes, but vaccination should be done at an early age, roughly “pre-teen”. Vaccination however doesn’t protect against all “strains” of HPV, so there is still a (small) chance of getting warts etc. And similarly, girls still need Pap smears. HPV vaccination is paid for by the state in some countries (such as the UK).
Wikipedia has a good article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HPV_vaccine
So no good if you’re in your 50’s 👿
I got the shots in my 40s, but my doctor had to sign off on it and it definitely put a strain on my body, as I described here and here.
That sounds really grim, “no gain without pain” and all that.
Unsurprisingly, in the UK, there has been a reaction to girls getting HPV vaccination at an early age; they worried that it would turn the girls into wild sexual adventuresses.
I’ll ask my nurse practitioner about it – she knows all about my lifestyle. Not really fearful of sides … I rarely get any sides from vaccines and I’m already over 10 Anthrax vaccinations with no issues.
I’m not certain, but I suspect herpes might possibly be transmitted with external contact, too. At least if there are open sores.
Herpes and HPV are viruses : they’re basically RNA/DNA strands, with a much smaller particle size than bacteria. It’s plausible that these viruses can be transdermally absorbed, as well as by intimate sexual contact.
In the case of Herpes, it’s possible that the virus particles can be asymptomatically shed, and are easily conveyed in any mucous fluid, including that secreted during intercourse. The median exposure rate for infection of Herpes-Simplex2 is 40 sex acts, however.
HPV is transmissible by skin-to-skin contact as well as via mucous fluid and genital contact. Unlike HS2, HPV is highly infectious with as little as one exposure required. It’s worth noting that the HPV Vaccine is only effective against certain strains of HPV, of which there are about 120. 40 of those are predominantly genital infections, which require genitals or genital fluids to come into contact.
So, the odds are from what the gentleman described, if no genital contact took place, the risks of HS2 infection is low.
If there was a genuine bareback, though, then you need to get a full set of STI checks asap.
Since it’s important to get tested, and some guys don’t have a regular doctor or urologist, I’ll suggest Planned Parenthood as that’s one of the services they provide.
I’m not surprised at what happened, but I am surprised at the apparent lack of condom usage.
Maggie,
Well done! I appreciate your work a lot. To keep informed of what’s going on. And also enjoyed your writing in this piece here.
Keep it up. And thanks. Annie
You’re very welcome; thanks for the kind words! 🙂
I’ve actually seen this mentioned often on various forums. BBFS seems to be way more common then any of us realize. Initially I was shocked the first few times I read about it, so I PMed one of the posters and asked how it can even happen with the threat of HIV, etc. He responded that in his experience it’s most common at AMPs with middle aged providers. Not my scene nor will it be with that info. On occasion I’ve seen it reported in strip club forums where during a lap dance “with extras” the lady will unexpectedly mount her patron sans cover. Often the report will describe the individual dancer as appearing to be a user or under the influence of drugs. I don’t get why these guys don’t just shove her off in such a situation.
While shoving her off would be the sensible reaction (and totally appropriate, for the reckless disregard of professionalism and ethics), it’s hard to think clearly when you have an attractive nearly naked woman in your lap.
Yeah that’s the thing. As a guy, it’s MUCH easier to just not put myself into a certain situation than it is for me take positive coherent action at the point I’m all worked up.
I’ve had a few massages with a ‘happy ending’ and twice something unexpected happened to me. One time I was on my tummy on the massage couch and the masseuse put a finger up my bum. I hadn’t asked for it or expected it. I think it might have been her way of telling me that she also does prostate massage. Another time a masseuse bent over and put my cock in her mouth, without a condom and without having asked me if I wanted that. Although these were unexpected they weren’t unwanted and it was a pleasure.
Not everyone likes getting an unexpected finger up their holes, just ask Maggie. Finding a man who doesn’t like unexpected blowjobs might be more difficult, but it could happen. So her doing it without asking was very unprofessional. Additionally, a bareback blowjob carries a risk to her own health (since she doesn’t know who you’ve been before), so that makes her reckless.
It will be nice when enough diseases are cured and/or vaccinatable that condoms will no longer be necessary, but we are not yet in that world. If your girl is mounting you without protection, get yourself checked out and find another girl. If she just makes it like she’s not using protection while she actually is, then cum with a blurry-eyed smile. It’s a pretty safe glance at the future.
This just happened to me and I’m pretty annoyed about the experience and my own behavior.
Like the original guy, I avoid full sex with escorts for a variety of reasons and I genuinely enjoy a good sensual massage as much as any penetrative sex I’ve ever had.
I’d seen this masseuse a few times before, she is mature and very attractive, with excellent skills. The last time I saw her she seemed particularly pleased to see me, the massage proceeded as per usual, eventually she asked me to turn over, I was massively horny as to be expected, she climbed on top, started the usual body rub routine, slipped my dick between her thighs and began to work it, then all of a sudden, she just sat on my cock…. The pleasure engulfed me, my mind was a blur, then I started to realise what the hell was going on, I’m inside her, she’s riding me, I’m not wearing a condom… Before I even manage to stop her, she dismounts and continues the massage as if nothing has happened.
Honestly, it’s a real shame. I liked this woman a lot and if she’d used a condom it would have been great, as it is though, she behaved completely unprofessionally. I’m now extremely worried about STDs and feel like an idiot for letting my dick control me.