You might be a king or a little street sweeper,
But sooner or later you dance with the Reaper. – Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey
Today is the Day of the Dead. It has been called by many names over the centuries (Samhain, All Hallows Day and El Dia de los Muertos are but a few) and it has been observed at a number of different points on the calendar, but that hardly matters: Death is the one great universal experience, the sacrament shared by every dynamic thing from the most ephemeral of microbes to the stars and galaxies themselves, the inescapable conclusion to every form of existence not already dead in its immutability. As such, the day on which we celebrate it is immaterial, though mid-autumn to me seems a properly symbolic time.
In last year’s column I discussed the irrational fear of death, which has increased dramatically as people have become less accustomed to it (due to both the decreasing violence of human life and the increasing disconnection of human existence from the natural world). Many live their entire lives in dread of it; they submit to any tyrant who falsely promises to delay it for a while, stunt and warp the development of their progeny in a foolish attempt to “protect” them from it, and deny themselves many of the pleasures of life, even to the point of restricting themselves to the consumption of life-forms they can pretend weren’t validly alive in the first place. To these people the traditional depiction of Death, a terrifying figure who cuts down human lives like so much ripe wheat, is the most meaningful one; they see it as a monster, a pitiless destroyer to be fled for as long as possible no matter what the cost.
But this is not the only depiction of Death we find in the iconography of our species. Though its comparative distance from modern daily life has resulted in most developing a paralyzing dread of it, that same distance has allowed wiser heads a sense of perspective; in recent centuries some depictions of Thanatos have become more complex and nuanced, even positive. Now that it no longer stalks our lives as closely as it did for most of history, some have even begun to realize that a world without it would be cold and static: life and growth require change, and change must eventually lead to dissolution. A world without death would be one without development or advancement, a world as still and inert as an insect trapped in amber. And because this is not such a world, death can also be something else: a release. We have learned to prolong life, but often at the cost of sickness, torment and debility; all too often, modern medicine is nothing more than a cheat, denying to Death an organism which Life has abandoned. At such time, Death may become a longed-for companion, a lover who, after a long flirtation, one is at last eager to embrace.
Obviously, neither extreme is desirable for the majority of a human life; our species itself would be doomed if too many young people were overly enamored of the Ever-Smiling One, and we’ve already seen what happens when an entire culture hides under its collective bed and refuses to risk even the most casual encounter with It. The Dance of Life is, paradoxically, also a dance with Death; the steps are many and intricate, and we change partners many times as we move across the decades. And when the time for the final figure comes at last we should not make fools of ourselves with spastic capers in a vain attempt to change the pattern, but rather take the long-anticipated partner’s hand and pass gracefully from the floor to make room for the new dancers who are always waiting for their turn.
I think for many the concept of an afterlife and judgment by a deity(s) has backfired. So long as there is the slightest possibility that one could end up in the wrong place, then death becomes something to be avoided at all costs, instead of simply being the final shutdown.
Here’s a fun little ditty about death, from my second favourite band:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I16WqxSMCu0&w=420&h=315]
I tell people that I am planning to live forever, and so far, it’s working out nicely.
The Science Channel has a commercial talking about the viability of immortality. No thank you. I absolutely view Death as a long-distance friend who I will meet far into the future. I am fine with my own death but like others even among those of us comfortable with the fact, I only hope that it is not painful, violent, or after a prolonged period of disease.
Definitely. I’ve often said things like, “I’m not afraid of death, but I am wary of the bit that comes just before it.”
Exactly; not death but dying.
I hear people say they aren’t afraid of death – but I don’t believe it. Most people view death as something distant – something they hope won’t be unpleasant.
But people who look at the reality of death – that it is something only a second away … or twenty years … or …
And that is the reality of death.
As someone who’s addicted to dangerous things – I can tell you I didn’t fear death because I didn’t think about death – I blocked it out. You can do this until the moment you’re confronted with possible death. On those occasions when I did confront it – it was terrifying. I remember one time on the submarine we had a fire – and I was moving, without any emotion at all, through the fan room closing ventilation valves to isolate the fire. I had been trained to do it – and I was doing it quickly in a robotic fashion. But – i didn’t think it would do any good – I figured we were all dead. I didn’t think about the pain of dying in a fire though …
What I thought about – was my girlfriend – and how my life with her was now shot to shit. I thought about my parents and my brothers – and how I’m now the first to go.
I thought about the fact that we were on a 30 day communication schedule – and we had communicated only the day before – so it would be 30 fucking days before anyone even NOTICED we were all dead.
Well, we pulled out of that one safely – but it WAS quite terrifying. Of course – after you’ve cheated death – the feeling is exhilarating, drug-like … better than sex really.
So i think everyone is afraid of death – not just the dying part – but the blackness that comes after – the permanent blackness. This is one reason religion cropped up with an “afterlife” and … even those who aren’t “religious” but believe in reincarnation – same kind of comforting thing – to avoid having to face the “blackness” if that is … indeed the reality. Which I hope it’s not but fear it is.
You think wrong. For a lot of people, the fear isn’t of dying (or “blackness” or any of that hogo bullshit) but the very real pain of living. Some people can only handle life because they have the comfort of knowing it won’t last forever.
Who’s hogo and why is he bullshit?
I just described it as “blackness” in an off-handed kind of way. I could have said “nothingness” – or whatever. It’s a lack of existence – a permanent lack of existence.
The times I thought I was toast – my thoughts were … “I’m not done yet Goddamit”
Now – maybe there will come a day when I AM done – and feel that I AM done. However, I know enough old people – they don’t figure they’re done yet.
Maybe you’re right though – I dunno. Maybe there are people afraid of living and can only bear it by thinking that it won’t last forever. That’s not me though. If given the opportunity to live a decent quality life forever – I’d jump on it.
I bet most people would. 😉
“Hogo” – a strong unpleasant smell? I don’t see the connection.
How would you describe a lack of existence without smelling in a strong unpleasant manner?
Most people do a lot of dumb things. A world of immortals would be a stagnant, boring one which would soon bog down in its then-current social and technological configuration – however bad that might be – and stay that way. Forever. All innovation and change is driven by the young.
Since we don’t know any immortals, you’re guessing. I can say that a world where people can not only live forever but do so in youthful health would be a word of unprecedented advances, because the innovation of youth would be joined to the wisdom of age. But I’d only be guessing.
I will, however, point out that change today is much faster than it was even one hundred years ago, and we’ve increased life expectancy by more than 50% since then.
“I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
–Woody Allen
I’m a cryonicist, and wish more like-minded folk would come along.
Dear jdgalt, Sailor Barsoom on here is one also. It’s likely he’ll state this on this thread at some point. I’m for never giving up on life which is one reason I’m a Christian. I came close to possibly losing my life at age 24. That was the thing that literally shocked me out of what I call “me-world” and got me to want to fully live for the first time. I won’t presume my future if I live to a very old age to automatically be full of physical pain and misery. Never! To me the longer you live the longer you have to at least try to change things for the better. Sailor B and I don’t full agree on transhumanism (to say the least…LOL) but I’ll always admire how he won’t project the worst on people living as long as possible. I admire those who are old but never stop living. Even if they have health problems they still do what they can do. “If you are going through hell, keep going.”-Winston Churchill
I’m all in favor of the “transhumanist” idea that you should be free to alter yourself in whatever way strikes your fancy; but I do not use their jargon because it needlessly scares people away and/or picks fights with the nanny-statists among us.
As far as Christianity — enjoy it if it helps you, but it wouldn’t work for me. I see religion (any kind that postulates an afterlife) as a con game, a kind of “counterfeit cryonics” invented to talk people out of standing up for themselves. (And I’ve heard several versions of its history, including the one the “witches” teach that says it’s evil. My verdict is much more mixed: it depends on what it’s being used to accomplish. Still, we’d all be better off to adopt more rational thought-habits instead, and if you’re interested in those I recommend LessWrong.com .)
Dear jdgalt, thank you for the link.
I’m not a cryonicist because it’s expensive and I can’t afford it. I’ve accepted that, probably, the conquest of aging will come too late to save me. Of course, let me win the lottery or write a best-seller and I may well change my mind.
In the absence of such good fortune, I’ve found a way to make a contribution after my own death: I’m donating my body to science. It’s likely to be a bigger contribution than any I have made or will make while still alive.
Thanks to the high presence of Mexicans in the NYC, Halloween is extended two days. Last night, someone had a gorgeous Lady Death costume on. Too bad my friend didn’t manage to take a picture of it.
Living forever sounds like torture to me. Life relies on perspective; there can be no good times unless one experiences bad times. I don’t mean catastrophic bad times. For example, the daily grind of managing a business makes Friday feel so good. I had a near death experience this year due to a stomach ulcer. I was dying, nurses were scrambling to save me, the Chaplain was reading my last rites from the scriptures, my wife was screaming, but I felt totally at peace.
Spot-on. Also quietly poetic. Nice!
There really is no need to fear dying. Everybody can do it successfully. Everybody does it eventually. Which makes what comes after something that can be left to wait-and-see. One thing is for sure: If you are relaxed about death, life becomes a whole lot better.
Incidentally, there is a scientific field that deals with fear of death: Terror Management Theory. (A bit of an unfortunate name today with all the panic about “terrorism” that politicians are using to promote their agendas.)
Maggie, Isn’t November the first “All Saints Day” with November the second known as “All Souls Day” (o el dia de los Muertos)?
Yes, in Catholicism. It was originally just one day, All Hallows Day, but was later split into two.
I always liked the concept of “Dia de los Muertos”—the Mexican Day of the Dead. A Harry Potter fanfiction I read once had Harry and Hermione in Mexico after Ron’s death, and said that to the Mexicans, Death was a friend to greet when the time came, and to gently mock before that time.
It was a very sweet story; Harry and Hermione ended up using the ceremony themselves to come to terms with having lost Ron. They made a Mexican-style remembrance for him.
Maggie, you wrote:
“Many live their entire lives in dread of it [death]; … and deny themselves many of the pleasures of life, even to the point of restricting themselves to the consumption of life-forms they can pretend weren’t validly alive in the first place.”
Is it I who misread you or are you indeed saying that vegans are vegans because they are afraid of death?
I have encountered a number of vegans online who proclaim that they are vegans because killing and eating other animals is “cruel”. I’m sure there are other reasons, but that’s the one that sentence is focused on. And no, I don’t want to discuss it, though you’re welcome to do so (politely, of course) with other readers. For myself, I see greater tragedy in killing ancient trees than in harvesting here-today gone-tomorrow shrimp, but that’s me.
No, I wont try to start a discussion either. I would like to say though that in my, and I believe most people’s eyes, there is quite a difference between caring about animals, and living one’s life in great fear of death.
My point is that they both derive from the fallacious notion that death is bad, when in fact life as we know it would be impossible without it.
Death may not be bad from a philosophical point of view, but unnecessarily killing concsious beings who wants to live is another thing.
Did the Buddha see death as bad? Surely not. Still, he recommended a vegetarian diet, because compassion is good and unnecessary violence is bad. You don’t have to see death as a tragedy to feel that way.
I’m quite sure you wont kill everyone you love if one day you get mad at them, because even if you don’t see death as bad, letting people be and live is still the right thing to do.
Sorry about that wordy answer (you may well delete it). What I should have said was:
Do you care about people? Yes?
Do you see death as bad? No?
So one can care about people – and animals – without seeing death as bad.
Respectfully, perhaps the point is that the animal has no choice in the matter. Maybe a cow is not as philosophically advanced as you, and would prefer to stay alive rather than become a steak. Also, I think many non-meat-eaters are not opposed to the death of the animal per se, but the often inhumane conditions in which they are kept prior to slaughter. (See PetaKillsAnimals.)
Note that I am not a vegetarian, and honestly I cannot foresee circumstances under which I would become a vegetarian. But if I were, I would be opposed to those mock-meat products like Tofurkey, Fakin’ Bacon and Not Dogs. After all, are they not an implicit admission that meat is tasty and ought to be imitated?
Sorry, I know you said you didn’t want to talk about this. 🙁
I’m not afraid of death itself. I only hope it won’t be too painful and that I’m not alone and forgotten when I die. I still want to say some last words before I go.;)
I don’t think people today are any more scared of death than before. Otherwise the traditional image of the Grim Reaper wouldn’t be a grim reaper. People have always sought out doctors, medicine men, and faith healers, always prayed and carried charms to ward of the inevitable. And they should make efforts to ward off the inevitable. As you point out, a species whose individuals don’t make considerable effort to avoid death is a species which isn’t around for long.
Today we have people who take up dangerous jobs, dangerous sports, and have dangerous habits. I do agree though that it is the distance from dying which modern medicine, sanitation, and other technology give us which allow some of us to look at death as other than a grim reaper. Neil Gaiman’s cute goth girl, Brian Pulido’s busty Lady Death, even The Twilight Zone’s Mr. Death* are all pretty recent. This is because death has become the inevitable thing off in the future somewhere, instead of the thing constantly breathing down one’s neck, snatching away half the children you’ve ever seen before they hit ten years, never giving anybody a rest. Now, we can imagine a kinder, gentler Death. But make no mistake: WE made it kinder and gentler.
* Who, for all his boyish good looks, charm, and smooth words, is still a dishonest murderer of frightened and kindly old ladies, using her own compassion as a weapon against her.
I’m with Terry Pratchett, Renata Flitworth and Death on this one. Also with Guns & Roses:
“It wouldn’t be luck if you could get out of life alive…” 😎😉