Every writer, especially when first starting out, writes a few things that, on looking back, cause her to say something like “What the Hell was I thinking when I wrote that?” In fact, there are a LOT of things I wrote my first year that make me feel that way. However, I’m a big believer in transparency; before the Internet, one couldn’t just “un-publish” embarrassing articles, and I don’t think it’s ethical or even wise to try that now just because one can. You can’t un-ring a bell, and you can’t unsay hurtful things, and to attempt to do so by shoving mistakes – even ugly ones – down the memory hole is to attempt to rewrite the past, a favorite pastime of censors and tyrants through the ages. I’m a real, flawed human being, and though I believe racism and bigotry are deeply wrong, sometimes things don’t really come out like I wanted them to. In September of 2010, I published a post explaining why some sex workers refuse to see black men, and it soon became my most controversial; a lot of people called me a racist and worse because of it, but because I also received a lot of mail from black men thanking me for explaining it (even if they sometimes rightfully chastised me for the crappy, sloppy, careless, insensitive, amateurish, assholish, and unnecessarily hurtful way I expressed it), I’ve always felt it was best to leave it up. However, the essay has recently become a major bone of contention in the sex worker rights movement, and some people whose opinions and feelings I care deeply about have told me that they are offended or upset by it. As many of you know or have surmised, I consider loyalty to those I love to be among the highest of virtues, so when a loved one says that something I did – even inadvertently, and even six years ago – hurt her in some way, you can bank on the fact that I’m going to try to correct that in any way I can. And so, though I know the decision will annoy or upset some people as much as the original essay did, I have decided it’s time to take it down. I am not doing this in order to pretend it never existed; as I wrote above, I own my mistakes as much as I own my accomplishments. And even if I wanted it to vanish completely, the internet has made that impossible. The reason I am doing this is, quite simply, because some people I respect and some people I love and respect asked me to, and that is reason enough for me. I apologize to any readers who may have been offended by my language, or who may be offended in the future by copies of the essay which exist elsewhere; please believe that any hurt I caused was wholly unintentional.
Archive for July, 2016
An Apology
Posted in Perception, Philosophy, tagged blogging, censorship, language, racism on July 21, 2016|
In the News (#656)
Posted in Current Events, Miscellaneous, News, Tyranny, tagged Across the Pond, agency denial, brothels, Catholicism, cell phones, censorship, Check Your Premises, dehumanization, drivers, Florida, Guinea Pigs, hotels, If It Were Legal, internet, King of the Hill, lawheads, left-right myth, Little Boxes, Madonna/whore, No Escape, Ohio, Only Rights Can Stop the Wrongs, Pennsylvania, porn, prisons, prohibitionist myths, propaganda, rape, Schadenfreude, streetwalkers, stripping, surveillance, Thailand, The Pro-Rape Coalition, Torture Chamber, Traffic in Nonsense, Traffic Jam, United Kingdom, What a Week!, Wisconsin on July 20, 2016| 3 Comments »
When something goes wrong, we never call [the cops]…we know they will arrest us. – Maria, a Romanian sex worker in London
Seven women have been arrested in a prostitution operation along US 19 in Pasco County…Many of the women have been arrested before for the same crime…Captain Chris Beaman…said prostitutes lead dangerous lives, sometimes targeted by serial killers or human traffickers…Beaman said business owners are afraid of becoming victims of crimes themselves…
The article goes on to say that some business owners are “elated” at the pogrom, which is exactly why we now live in a police state.
…Between 2010 and 2014, the number of young women [18 to 25] the police arrested in London for prostitution-related crime nearly trebled…The increase contrasts with steep falls in the number of arrests of men and across all the other ages for crimes related to prostitution…Laura Watson, from the English Collective of Prostitutes (ECP), calls the rise in arrests of young women “horrifying…The police use public concern for young people’s wellbeing to justify targeting and ‘saving’ young people from working as sex workers by arresting them…No alternatives are given, just criminalization”…treating young prostitutes as victims does more harm than good…
Only Rights Can Stop the Wrongs
When will lawheads learn that whores cannot be made to vanish by proclamation?
Thailand’s…sex industry is under fire, with the tourism minister [fantasizing she can] rid the country of its ubiquitous brothels and a spate of police raids in recent weeks…Those who work in the industry say curbs on commercial sex services would hurt a flagging economy…Tourism Minister Kobkarn Wattanavrangkul played down the role of the sex industry in drawing visitors…”We want Thailand to be about quality tourism. We want the sex industry gone,” she said…
Would somebody from Las Vegas care to school the minister on the likely outcome of her Disneyfication fantasy?
Let’s hope this myth is dead, or at least nearly so, by the next election:
As thousands prepare to descend on Philadelphia for the Democratic National Convention, a coalition is helping spread the word about a crime that often accompanies large gatherings…Experts say trafficking tends to spike around large-scale events…”It’s definitely a concern,” Hugh Organ
, associate executive director at Covenant House PA, said…”But it’s not anything like the Super Bowl.” The Super Bowl is the top human trafficking event in the United States, Organ said…
Of course, other people whose names don’t sound like something Bart Simpson would ask Moe the Bartender to page are saying similar things about Republicans:
…The top strip clubs in Cleveland, Ohio, are all preparing for the inevitable influx of horny, cash-flinging Republican out-of-towners who will drop by during next week’s GOP convention…A huge gathering of drunk, lustful Republicans—much like drunk, lustful Democrats, or drunk, lustful registered independents, or drunk, lustful Green Party members—is sure to be great for business…Jeff Kallam, general manager at the Crazy Horse Cleveland strip club…insists…“Republicans love strippers, so we’re just hoping to make some money”…
“Pimp” classification schemes are some of the most painfully stupid tropes of this whole panic:
…The Empower Youth Program…[has] identified five “disguises” that a person looking to exploit someone may take on to gain trust.
1 – Pretender — Someone who pretends to be something s/he is not, such as a boyfriend, a big sister, a father, etc.
2 – Provider — Someone who offers to take care of an individual’s needs, such as for clothes, food, a place to live, etc or their wants, like cool cell phones, purses, parties, etc.
3 – Promiser — Someone who promises access to great things, like an amazing job, a glamorous lifestyle, travel, etc.
4 – Protector — Someone who uses physical power or intimidation to protect (but also control) an individual.
5 – Punisher — Someone who uses violence and threats to control an individual. When the previous disguises have been exhausted, an exploitative person often becomes a Punisher to maintain control…
If interstate highways are so dangerous, why aren’t prohibitionists calling for them to be banned?
The internet makes commercial sex largely invisible, but northeast Wisconsinites need only pull up a map and draw a line down Interstate 41 to see where much of it happens. The corridor of cities along I-41 — Milwaukee, Fond du Lac, Oshkosh, Appleton and Green Bay — is not only convenient for those working the sex trade, but is another form of control for a pimp, since women and girls who don’t feel familiar with their surroundings are less likely to flee. “It’s a major thoroughfare,” said Carl Waterstreet, a [moron with a penchant for stating the obvious]…
Calling a prison an “immigration centre” doesn’t make it any less of a prison:
The Home Office is refusing to reveal if any female detainees have been sexually assaulted or raped inside Yarl’s Wood Immigration Removal Centre…A member of staff reportedly told a newspaper that “disclosure would, or would be likely to, prejudice the commercial interests” of people involved with Yarl’s Wood such as Serco, the private company that runs the facility…
…The through line of Threadbare is that, due to a combination of US trade policies with developing nations…and cultural restrictions on women working outside the home, the garment industry is the only legal job available to the majority of women in the world. But…when there are no other legal job opportunities…women will do what they can to get by…So, where the garment trade exists, there is generally a healthy sex trade as well, and it’s often tolerated or legal until the US steps in and criminalizes it, often as a rider in trade deals. These are presented as “anti-trafficking” measures…the garment industry supports the arrests of, and finances the supposed rehabilitation of, women who leave the garment trade, forcing them to return to these low-paying, high-risk jobs that more often than not include a likelihood of sexual exploitation…
Sex workers who pretend they aren’t are almost as bad as prohibitionists:
There’s been plenty written about the Power of Human Touch…That’s the concept of the professional cuddling company Snuggle Buddies…Professional cuddling is not meant to be sexual. It’s a point [Lisa] VanArsdale can’t emphasize enough, though she seems aware of the fact that clients may not fully understand, even when respecting the rules…The Snuggle Buddies website addresses these rules plainly in the contract its clients must agree to electronically. Clothes are required, sexual requests are forbidden, and anyone who doesn’t abide by the cuddling contract—even with rogue questions asked via email—is blacklisted…Strip clubs and prostitutes offer the fulfillment of more promiscuous desires, anyway…
Every sex worker has some kinds of physical contact she won’t allow; having an especially long and/or strict list doesn’t magically make you into a non-whore.
Dr Emily Cooper…carried out dozens of interviews…which she said “smashed” her preconceived ideas about massage parlours…and how they affect people’s lives…“They evoke feelings of safety and security via their often 24-hour presence, they are distractions from the mundane hours of work, they contribute economically via the use of taxi services and other amenities for clients and sex workers, and finally, a role that is never reported, the sex workers are also neighbours and friends who ‘put the bins out like everybody else’”…
Through a $100,000 matching grant the Congregation of the Sisters of St. Joseph has helped the Exchange Initiative and two developers create TraffickCam, an app that helps [cops hunt down sex workers like animals]…TraffickCam allows anyone with a smartphone to help [expand universal surveillance] by uploading photos of hotel rooms when they travel…Sex [workers sometimes] post photos of [themselves] in hotel rooms in their online advertisements. [Cops] can use these…to find [sex workers to arrest]…
…”Trafficking happens everywhere,” [Kylla] Lanier says. “It’s happening in homes, in conference centers, at schools, casinos, truck stops, hotels, motels, everywhere. You know, it’s an everywhere problem, but truckers happen to be everywhere.” And these days TAT stickers, wallet cards and posters — showing a phone number for a sex trafficking hotline — are becoming ubiquitous in the trucking industry. TAT [indoctrinates] drivers to try to spot sullen, hopeless-looking children, teens and young adults. Perhaps they’re wearing revealing clothing, or maybe have tattoos like bar codes or men’s names that might indicate ownership…
Pro-censorship loon wants parents to panic about “artificial necrophilia”. I am not making this up:
…Internet pornography is a real problem for the 66 million American parents with children under 18. Parents don’t have to believe that such material is a direct cause of sexual violence to be driven a little crazy by it. It’s bad enough that it’s giving our sons and daughters some very creepy ideas about how they’re supposed to look and act…Two bills passed by Congress to restrict minors’ access to pornography over the past two decades were struck down by the Supreme Court because they infringed on adults’ First Amendment rights…In addition to making pornography hard to contain, the internet is making it weirder and weirder…The fetish that’s trending right now…is necrophilia — “artificial snuff films”…I…don’t want my preteens watching actors having sex with corpses, even fake corpses, before they’ve begun to date…
Diary #316
Posted in Diary, tagged activism, drugs, New Orleans, sisterhood on July 19, 2016| 5 Comments »
As I predicted, the Desiree Alliance conference was a blast! Vignette, Jae & I flew down on Sunday, and as I explained in Friday’s column the trip was very tolerable for me despite moderate turbulence. “Moderate”, that is, for any normal person; if not for my Valium-Zofran one-two punch I’d have been puking and sobbing. But thanks to Better Living Through Chemistry, I instead passed the trip tweeting and writing and arrived in my home town only slightly Valium-dopey. Dinner and cocktails with Kaytlin Bailey, Joy de Vive and my traveling companions soon set me to rights, and by the time Grace arrived via motorcycle I was feeling just grand. The next day was dominated by socializing, cocktails, a performance of Kaytlin’s new show “Consensual Business“, and a very memorable dinner with her, Grace and Tara Burns in which we got Grace to eat octopus, Tara scored us a free round of cocktails and Kaytlin googled “Maggie McNeill naked” on her smartphone to show the waiters.
On Tuesday, I took a break from the conference to visit my gynecologist, my cousin Alan and my friends Frank & Olivia, in that order; Grace took me on her motorcycle and we didn’t get back until about 2:30 in the morning. On Wednesday Allena Gabosch and I bummed around the French Quarter; I bought two new dresses from my friend Solomon and a print of this beautiful Tara McPherson painting, which I like more every time I look at it. We then had cocktails with Matisse, and later Matisse and I hung out together and talked, which we’ve both been too busy to do with each other for the past few months. Then on Thursday evening the two of us, Savannah, Stacey Swimme and another lady were taken to dinner by a lovely and generous gentleman, and the party which followed…well, let’s just say absolutely nobody knows how to party like whores.
On Friday Vignette and I walked around the Quarter while Jae, Matisse & Savannah went to lunch together; I bought another dress from Solomon and some souvenirs from the flea market. The flight home was just as endurable as the one down, despite even more turbulence, and that, my friends, means I am air-mobile again! I plan to start limited touring, so if you want me to visit your city and can spring for a plane ticket, just drop me an email and we’ll go from there. If you can’t afford my travel expenses but would still like to see me, no worries; just keep your eyes on this space, where I’ll announce each trip as soon as I start planning it.
Scrupleless in Seattle
Posted in Current Events, Perception, Tyranny, tagged asset seizure, brothels, cops, end demand, Scrupleless in Seattle, Too Close To Home, Washington (state) on July 18, 2016| 16 Comments »
This is ridiculous; this cost a lot of money and is tomfoolery. – Don O’Neill
Once again, so-called “liberal” Seattle has demonstrated its deep conservatism, prudishness, hypocrisy and dishonesty by setting up an elaborate entrapment scheme intended to humiliate the clients of sex workers, deprive us of income and produce a severe chilling effect on the market. Sara Jean Green, who should know better than to believe the anti-whore garbage vomited out by cops, told it this way [with a few corrections from me] in the deeply-prohibitionist Seattle Times:
…members of the Seattle Police Department’s Vice…Unit arrested 204 men during the 10-day operation that began July 5, netting more than $22,000 in cash…“We never anticipated this volume,” [lied] Sgt. Tom Umporowicz [about]…the police-operated Euro Spa, the first sting operation of its kind in the city. He estimated court fines from the operation — $2,733 for a first-time offender, with repeat offenders paying more — will total at least $550,000. Formerly known as Bamboo Spa, the business was shut down in May by Umporowicz and his squad…Umporowicz’s [scam artists] posted ads for Euro Spa on backpage.com…For the “average john,” hiring an escort “is a crapshoot … because you don’t know who is going to show up at the door,” Umporowicz said. Picking up a woman on Aurora Avenue North is also risky since “you could easily get … ripped off and you’re more visible to law enforcement…Most of these guys going to massage parlors think they’re fairly safe”…In many of the vice unit’s earlier stings, men were arrested then released, later receiving summonses in the mail. But [politicians declared]…that…there should be mandatory jail bookings for men arrested for sexual exploitation. It’s the relatively new name adopted by the City Attorney’s Office for the misdemeanor crime of what used to be known as patronizing a prostitute. The hope is that the experience of changing into orange jail garb, being photographed and fingerprinted, and undergoing the jail’s process of verifying names, addresses and phone numbers will serve as a future deterrent…[one] veteran [sleazy sow is referred to]…as “the vice queen.” Dressed in a tight tank top, a short skirt and four-inch heels, the [sociopath is expert]…in making men comfortable [in order] to [destroy their lives]…“Some guys won’t even hand me the money — they throw it on the bed or they throw it on the floor,” she said. “It’s degrading…They would never treat their wives or girlfriends or someone they were trying to pick up in a bar like that.”
As usual, the pigs grunt and oink a lot of filthy lies in order to rationalize that their robbery scam is somehow justifiable, and that it serves some constructive purpose other than pleasing busybodies, getting votes for amoral politicians and letting pervert cops (like the sociopathic policewoman described at the end) get their jollies in a massive nonconsensual public humiliation scene. The lies are so thick and obvious here I’m sure most of y’all can spot them; for example, the pretense that the average client doesn’t “know who is going to show up at the door”, when in fact most modern escorts have websites, reviews and an established online presence. And the pretense that not directly handing the sex worker the money is “degrading”, when in fact most don’t want the money directly handed to them (in the mistaken belief that this will protect them), is especially vile considering that the police and the prohibitionist laws they enforce are the direct cause of this so-called “degradation”. Sorry, amateurs; the truth is our clients generally treat us better than they treat women silly enough to give it to them for free, no matter what sickos who get off on pretending to be whores tell you.
But while the cops boast about their contribution to destroying the fabric of society and fascist media companies obediently parrot the propaganda, the faltering “sin and degradation” narrative has lost considerable popularity and stings like this are recognized for what they are by many other journalists:
…KIRO Radio’s Don O’Neill…noted that the [Seattle police department] is understaffed by more than 340 officers and they are currently being paid tons of overtime to deal with the recent protests related to shootings around the country…That’s why, to him, the sting was a “colossal waste of time…You pick up the phone and call the police and they’re not coming…because we’re using our man- and women-power to do stuff like this.” O’Neill said…it’s…an attack on the lives of tech workers and lonely Seattle residents…“there will be divorces over this, families will be embarrassed and they may end up losing their jobs”…
And Tana Ganeva of The Influence wrote:
…Female officers were tarted up in tight clothes and high heels and offered men sexual acts for cash…The sting caught 204 so-called “johns” and netted the department $22,000 in cash. But that’s only the beginning of the city’s profiteering…all the court fines…could total $550,000. And who were these monsters? They ranged from surgeons to a nurse to bus drivers to a journalist…The operation, of course, is presented as a means to protect exploited women…But…there wasn’t even the pretext of trying to catch johns who were looking to hook up with under-aged or trafficked women…in what business on earth does it benefit workers to have their customers arrested? As many sex worker activists have pointed out, depleting the customer pool of men who have the most the lose if they get caught makes sex workers’ lives harder and more dangerous…
And there, as the Bard put it, is the rub; well-established escorts with large client bases aren’t going to be affected by this beyond the usual two- or three-week lull that results every time the cops stage one of their high-profile pogroms. Nor will celebrity whores like me, whom potential clients can verify with a quick Google search. No, it’s going to be the immigrant women and other marginalized sex workers, those who work in massage parlors, on Backpage or on the street, who will suffer the most from this evil game. Sex work isn’t going anywhere, no matter what cops, prosecutors and morally-retarded billionaires want you to believe; it fulfills a very real and important social function and new sex workers and clients enter the demimonde every day. These crusades do nothing but hurt the most vulnerable individuals on both sides of the transaction, just as all prohibition disproportionately harms the most marginalized. One might think that at a time when the public is beginning to awaken to the realities of overpolicing, public officials would have more sense than to approve of these sadistic spectacles; however, that would assume that said officials aren’t echo-chamber-dwelling narcissists. The only way to stop this will be for those who approve of it to suffer actual consequences, and that isn’t going to happen until all of you clients out there get off of your duffs and fight. Regular clients outnumber full-time whores by at least 60 to 1; gentlemen, I suggest you had better rethink your current silence, unless you want to be the next one with your name and picture splashed across newspapers, TV screens and websites.
Links #315
Posted in Current Events, Links, Miscellaneous, Tyranny, tagged California, Canada, cell phones, cops, cult of the child, drugs, Facebook, games, Georgia, I can't breathe, New Jersey, New York, Not What They Expected, prisons, Sweden, Things We Choose To Do Together, universal criminality, video, Wyoming on July 17, 2016| 3 Comments »
Every inmate can obviously state that he is uncomfortable in jail.
– Dean Flippo
This week’s video is a very, very strange short absurdist horror operetta; I have no other description for it, but it was contributed by Jesse Walker (who also provided “Pokemon Gothic”). The links above it are from Tim Cushing (“boo”, “expected” and “together”), Wendy Lyon (“Sweden”), Walter Olson (“headline”), Jillian Keenan (“cost”), and Mistress Matisse (“Cassandra”).
- SHAZAM!
- Boo fucking hoo.
- Pokemon Gothic.
- Because Sweden.
- Headline of the week.
- Not what they expected.
- The cost of exposing the evil done by cops.
- Cassandra McNeill has been saying this for decades.
- Government is just a word for the things we choose to do together.
From the Archives
- When you’re a cop, armed robbery becomes “misdemeanor embezzlement” and decades in prison becomes a few weekends in the county jail.
- Why is CNN so in love with the “sex trafficking” narrative and the empty-headed actresses who promote it?
- How many more skeletons must be found in cesspools before people wake up to the evil of prohibition?
- Only in the US could men enjoying the sight of pretty girls be represented as strange or even bad.
- You might want to reconsider that helpful email, comment or tweet you’re about to write me.
- “A who’s who of anti-sex-work, anti-science, and anti-free-speech zealots.”
- More and more reporters are discovering the truth about “sex trafficking”.
- On the notion that false rape accusations are so rare they can be ignored.
- If prohibitionists want to “rescue” whores, why keep us from other jobs?
- Cops, taboos, words, blackness, fascism, nightmares, colonies & BDSM.
- More ethical “trafficking” folks are distancing themselves from hysteria.
- Some stories are so egregiously stupid I just can’t resist editorializing.
- Bill C36 is the hook for this excellent essay against sexual prohibition.
- The stuff Pennsylvania reporters write about cops is like fellatio porn.
- Whores are bad, because drugs! “Trafficking”! Disease! And vehicles!
- Get it straight, cops; you have to rape a whore not to get in trouble.
- Nobody wants to admit that a child-shaped toaster is still a toaster.
- Politicians shut down 200-year-old brothel to seize the land it’s on.
- Another example of amateurs profiting from sex workers’ images.
- The usual excuse for yet another sex worker registration scheme.
- A short biography of Alice Keppel, Edward VII’s favorite mistress.
- Debunking stripper myths doesn’t require gratuitous whorearchy.
- A woman returns from a meaningful death to a meaningless life.
- Sometimes “trafficking” just means “bringing in black people“.
- “An abolitionist is an abolitionist…whether Radfem or Muslim“.
- There’s no clear line between sex workers and anybody else.
- An empathic courtesan, a killer gynoid and a devil’s bargain.
- But prohibitionists pretend decriminalization doesn’t work.
- How many “sex slave rescue” TV shows must we endure?
- Why it’s NEVER a good idea to provide drugs to a client.
- Maxine Doogan, Tara Burns and some lovely gloves.
- Radley Balko on a syndrome I’ve discussed before.
- “Does the sex worker movement need men? No.“
- They’re not even trying to be credible any more.
- Thaddeus Russell interviews me for Reason TV.
- A well-known porn actress asks me for advice.
- Why there are few good studies on sex work.
- Cops, Jesus, time machines and much more.
- Dr. Brooke Magnanti on “feminist knickers”.
- Interstate highways cause “sex trafficking”!
- Clergymen against prohibition of sex work.
- Presumption of innocence? What’s that?
- Licensing sex work in Mexico City.
- More about a dangerous placebo.
- Look at the cast of characters.
- Rapist cop of the week.
- My visit to St. Louis.
- More of this, please.
In the News (#655)
Posted in Current Events, Miscellaneous, News, Tyranny, tagged A Procrustean Bed, activism, Africa, agency denial, An Example to the West, Another Fine Mess, Bait and Switch, Botswana, California, Canada, cops, Damned If You Don't, dehumanization, diversion programs, Do As I Say, Dysphemisms Galore, Germany, Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish, Indiana, King of the Hill, language, law, License To Rape, Montana, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, rape, robots, Singapore, The Public Eye, The Pygmalion Fallacy, Uncommon Sense, yellow journalism on July 16, 2016| 2 Comments »
Anti-prostitution advocates…incorrectly portray the global sex workers’ rights movement as dominated by Western, white, middle-class, cisgender women…as a way of dismissing the movement as “non-representative.” – Chi Adanna Mgbako
Joseph Raymond Stanton…was arrested on June 29…[for] the rapes of two prostitutes and the attempted rape of a third…In each case…Stanton…passed himself off as a…[cop] and lured the victims to his car. He then drove them to a secluded location and raped them. One of the women was able to escape before he could [rape] her…Stanton posted bail and was released…the day after his release [cops] found him dead in what appeared to be a suicide…
Remember, cops: raping whores is OK; it’s paying them fairly that isn’t:
Four Montreal police officers who work with informants have been arrested…Fayçal Djelidi…is facing nine charges, including perjury, attempting to obstruct justice, breach of trust by a public officer and obtaining sexual services for consideration…David Chartrand…was charged with two counts of perjury and two counts of attempting to obstruct justice…Two more officers were also arrested and are being questioned by Montreal police…Djelidi…is alleged to have communicated with unknown persons with the aim of procuring sexual services for himself in exchange for payment…
Chi Adanna Mgbako on sex worker activism in Africa:
…In the past 10 years or so, sex worker activism has exploded throughout Africa, and there are now sex-worker-led organizations in African countries as diverse as Botswana, Cameroon, DRC, Ethiopia, Mauritius, Mozambique, Nigeria, Rwanda, Uganda, and many more. In Kenya alone, there are now over 80 sex-worker-led collectives. All of these groups are advocating for their right to work, to access de-stigmatized health care, and to live free from violence and discrimination. It’s also important to note that outside of formal civil society actors like sex-worker-led NGOs, sex workers informally organize and resist criminalization by supporting each other financially, socially, and emotionally in their local communities. This informal activism is an indispensable part of movement building…
Kate Iselin gets it, though four years after I did:
…The scenario that gives rise to the demand for android sex workers reads like a great big “told you so” fantasy of anyone involved in anti-sex work campaigning…It’s a creepy, shallow rendering of the nightmare portrait of sex work we’re too-often sold: An industry that we worry dehumanises women can only be saved by, in this case, literally replacing humans with what amounts to an almost-sentient Fleshlight. The idea that a robot brothel can solve all of our problems is naïve at best, and deeply ignorant at worst. What assumptions does one need to make about our clients to suggest that they would be just as happy – or happier – penetrating chrome steel instead of receiving the touch of a human?…the “any hole’s a goal” mentality presumed in the [notion] overlooks the vast reasons one may have for seeing a sex worker: loneliness, curiosity, sexual or emotional unfulfilment, desire, the want for a certain skillset, or perhaps simply the need to be touched by a new and unfamiliar pair of hands…Plus, it’s telling – and hurtful – that little to no consideration is given to the skills of the sex worker. I know myself and the service I provide well, and there is no possible way that the warmth of my body and the skill of my touch could be unnoticably replaced by an android…
But picket-fence queers say cops aren’t our enemies:
On July 4, police made sweeps and arrests at a gay beach in New York City, much to the surprise of beachgoers. At the far corner of Jacob Riis Park—a gay beach that has been a notorious LGBT safe haven for decades…police descended unannounced…gay Brooklyn photographer Krys Fox…stood with a towel wrapped around his waist…Suddenly, the towel loosened and dropped. Before Fox could refasten it around his waist, he was tackled to the ground by a squad of police. Fox told the Daily Dot that police had dominated the gay beach all day—”on horses, in uniform, undercover”—and were “everywhere.” But he didn’t expect to be arrested, he said, because he hadn’t done anything wrong…those who…were [there]…noted that police targeted the gay section of the beach specifically, stating that there were no police on the rest of the beach…
…Police raided a Warsaw [Indiana] massage parlor…next door to Kevin Love’s home. He said he knew something suspicious was happening for about three years now…The two women were arrested after police found evidence related to prostitution, tax evasion and corrupt business practices. Love said he often saw two women walking around the neighborhood in the evening…”just like any normal person would get out and go for a walk”…Love…is just relieved it is over. “There are children on back further in the neighborhood, and they don’t need to be around something like that,” he said…
Aren Lindquist…has been sentenced to 25 years at Montana State Prison with 20 years suspended…[he was tricked by a fake] online ad for an escort service called “Barely Legal 18.” [Cops told] the respondents…that no 18-year-olds were available and they had the option of having sex with a 15-year-old or a 12-year-old…
Reporters never get tired of pretending that ordinary sex work practices are new and novel:
…at least 60 prostitutes from China [are] advertising their services online and operating in condominiums and apartments in Geylang…Instead of relying on pimps and brothel keepers, the women post suggestive photos of themselves and ask those interested to contact them on mobile phones directly. These freelance prostitutes enter Singapore on tourist visas and typically work for up to one month…
It’s enough to make one vomit:
…These weekly court sessions are the core of a special probation program for victims of sex trafficking in Columbus. [Judge] Herbert started the program—known as CATCH (Changing Attitudes to Change Habits)—in 2009. Women arrested on prostitution charges in Columbus can opt into this program – where they get safe housing, counseling, and close supervision instead of jail time. Nearly all are in recovery from addiction. As he moves through the docket, Herbert calls each defendant by her first name…”He said we’re going to love you until you can love yourself. And…I see something in you that you can’t see yet”…
Starting this fall, sex trafficking will be addressed in seventh and eighth-grade classrooms across Charlotte…Director of Present Age Ministries Hannah Arrowood [said] “Charlotte is actually the number one city in the state of North Carolina for human trafficking”…Five-hundred new ads are posted soliciting sex in Charlotte every day…many of the women in the ads are not women at all, but rather trafficked teenagers and young girls…forced to have sex with multiple men…
Because there aren’t enough real “victims” to go around, the rescue industry creates fake ones:
Catherine Pisha…is…an actor learning how to portray a [stereotype of a] human trafficking victim. Pisha works at the University of Vermont’s Clinical Simulation Lab…[and] helps health care professionals improve the quality of their care by being a human guinea pig…Edith Klimoski…writes the scripts for these actors…Studies show that anywhere between 50 percent and 80 percent of human trafficking victims will come in contact with someone in the medical community during the time they’re being trafficked…
Laura Lee braves the hostile waters of Mumsnet:
…One of the most infuriating strands to the current feminist discourse around sex work is the assertion that we are abused, or even raped, every time we sell sex. That statement is injurious and grossly insulting to those who have survived abuse and rape, and it also strips sex workers of our agency. As much as we campaign for the right to say “yes”, we absolutely reserve the right to say “no”. I detest the use of the word “empowerment” in any debate on sex work. My job is no more empowering than anyone else’s; it allows me to support my family and pay my bills. But as a community, there is no doubt that we are more empowered to say “no” when we are permitted to work together for safety…
…the upcoming German law…will enforce mandatory registration of sex workers nationwide. The law pretends to fight human trafficking…Forced registration through obligatory counselling includes the evaluation of one’s mental status by a state authority and implies sex workers…are perceived as irresponsible, mentally incapable beings…Our very own whore ID will be a state-issued document including our picture; our profession (that is “prostitute”, as the word “sex worker” is a bit too modern for the German state), our real name and address…In order to get it we will be forced to visit a state body and undergo counselling…You read that right: a functionary will decide in a compulsory talk if you have the marbles in your brain to be a sex worker…
Air Stream
Posted in Diary, tagged blogging, drugs, New Orleans, psychology on July 15, 2016| 5 Comments »
I usually write my columns at my desk. I’ve done some in hotels, and some fragments in coffee shops or other such places; I even wrote part of one at a party once, and a whole (albeit short) one while sitting in my car on Bainbridge Island waiting for a ferry. Also, I usually write my columns dead sober, though I have done a little editing and preparation of news columns while slightly drunk or waiting for an edible to kick in (they’re legal in Seattle, remember? And I’ve discovered I like them, so there.) One column in the past month I edited, illustrated and scheduled while quite stoned (no, I won’t say which, and I’ll bet you can’t guess because I did an excellent job if I do say so myself). But today I’m doing something new on both counts: I am writing this on an airplane in flight, on crappy, slow wifi that Alaska Air charged me TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS FOR even though it’s horrible compared to the wifi I got for free on JetBlue in May. And I’m doing it while under the influence of 10 mg of Valium and 4 of Zofran, because that’s the way I roll when I have to fly. My first test of this new meds combo was when I flew to LA in May, but that was a smooth two-and-half-hour flight; this is a FOUR and a half hour flight across the Rockies, and let me tell you it is NOT SMOOTH. Normally, I’d be crying and puking right now, but I’m actually OK despite the frequent rumbling and shaking. The Valium seems to be controlling my nerves and the Zofran my stomach, so let’s hope that continues. My computer’s clock says it’s 13:31 (Sunday) right now as I type this, but it’s 15:31 in New Orleans and presumably 14:31 below us in Colorado (though by the time I figured out how to take this screenshot on my Chromebook we were at the border of Colorado, New Mexico and Texas and therefore crossing into Central Time. I would’ve used my usual screenshot program, but it’s been goofing up lately & I don’t know how to fix it.)
But anyway, when I was at the airport earlier talking to Allena Gabosch (who’s on the same flight as Vignette, Jae and I, though in different row) I told her that I’d finished my blogging through Thursday, and I had a brainstorm: what if I wrote one on the plane? Since I’m dopey as hell right now (though the first Valium’s probably wearing off since I took it at 10:00 PDT, I only took the second one just before I started to write almost an hour ago), I thought the results might be interesting. Speaking of results, I am still not panicking from all this bumping (the seat belt sign just went back on), nor am I sweating, flushed, queasy or any of the other symptoms that let me know I’m about to be very sick indeed. And yes, I would knock wood if there were any in this plane. But if things keep going like this on subsequent flights, I might actually be air-mobile again, which is pretty cool.
This is not to say I actually LIKE flying; it’s a wholly awful form of transport and I hate being on a freaking bus in the sky, even when the plane isn’t bouncing around like a ping-pong ball. And if that weren’t already bad enough, I despise having to deal with the blue-gloved morons. Today I had the misfortune to be behind an eedjit who believes the propaganda about security theater (I told him statistics proved him wrong but I wasn’t going to argue), then my luggage was “selected” for “extra screening” because it contained “a large amount of organic matter” (a dozen copies of Ladies of the Night). That explanation sounds entirely bogus to me; do people with lots of cotton or woolen clothing get “selected” as well?
Anyhow, my brain seems to be getting fuzzier (getting only three solid hours of sleep last night followed by two intermittent hours probably has something to do with it. That and the Valium) . And I somehow screwed up the map that was showing our remaining time to New Orleans, though obviously we must be over Texas because it’s almost 16:30 Central Time and we’re supposed to land in something like 75 minutes. And once we land we need to Lyft down to our hotel on Canal Street, where we’ll be meeting Kaytlin Bailey for dinner (and I hope Grace is there by then). So I guess I’ll finish up and try to figure out if I can upload this selfie I took a little while ago. When you read this I’ll be getting ready to return, so maybe I’ll make a comment when I’m on the flight back. And I hope not being sick. And noticing that I use a LOT of parentheses when I’m doped up.
My Friend, the Whore
Posted in Guest Columns, Perception, Q & A, tagged dating, ethics, psychology, Twitter on July 14, 2016| 4 Comments »
Last Friday, Dan Savage tweeted a question he’d received to get the opinion of several sex workers, namely Mistress Matisse, Mike Crawford and me (plus anyone else who cared to chime in). The question itself is interesting, and I found it fascinating how much the answers diverged. So although Dan already published the question and answers on his Stranger blog, I’d also like to feature it here:
I’d appreciate your thoughts on a matter of sex worker etiquette and social boundaries. Someone I’d describe as an acquaintance/casual friend recently let me know that she is working as an escort. I’ve known her for a few years, and have always been more than a little attracted to her. We dated very briefly when we first met and have had an intermittent friendship in the years since. We’re close enough to talk about subjects like sex work and our mutually non-judgmental attitudes toward it, though this is someone I bump into fairly rarely—maybe a couple of times a year. If there’s an appropriate and respectful way to bring up that I’d be interested in her professional services, I’d love to do it in the right way. Or would you advise me to leave this alone? We’re well enough acquainted that I could broach the subject in an in-person conversation or by text (as opposed to, say, booking an appointment anonymously and saying “Surprise! Remember me?”). Any thoughts? – Friend In Favor Of Compensating For Benefits
My answer: It’s a delicate one. If they had never dated I’d say it was pretty straightforward. But as it is she could conceivably feel awkward. My advice: He should tell her he’d like to see an escort and ask if she has any recommendations. Then IF she’s comfortable, she can volunteer her own services, and if not he’ll get a very good recommendation to another.
Matisse: I personally do not accept people as clients if I’ve been friends with them socially. But that is partly because I’m a dominatrix and some fantasies and D/s rely on a certain level of mystery and distance. Definitely via email, NOT in person. Tell her it’s cool if she doesn’t feel comfortable. And accept it will change things.
Mike Crawford: “How’s business? Are you taking new clients? Would you be open to seeing me professionally?” Best approach I can think of. As mentioned, the prior relationship could make it awkward. As any client should, if she declines to see him, FIFOCFB should accept that graciously.
Lara Belle: I would choose one of the zillion other SWs where boundaries are not an issue. The question can be broached: “Are you open to seeing clients who are part of your personal life,” etc., but don’t even go there at all if he expects her to keep it a secret and have a whole range of new pressures forced upon her with her other friends/acquaintances.
Conner Habib: Yes, he definitely has the right to ask! But I want him to ask himself why he’s asking, too! I’d ask: Out of all the escorts in the world you can hire, you chose one whose boundaries may be problematic for you and would need negotiation. What does that tell you about yourself? Self-investigate & move on.
Rosemary Lashes: I had a friend ask this of me when I came out and frankly I find it insulting. For me, I want compartmentalization. I do not mix business/clients w friends. It complicates too much, and $ creates power dynamics regardless of intention.
Ava Grace: Definitely don’t surprise her with a booking without notice. But considering the history of the friendship you can always ask the question. If she’s not ok with it she will say no. And you need to be prepared for and ok with accepting that no if it comes. Good luck.
Daddy’s Princess: It would be awkward to see him professionally & maintain a friendship.
Melodie Nelson: Sex -paid for or not-can change relationships. But he should ask simply. No more stigma 1 day.
Sensual Muse: IMO no on this-personal life is sep from work: 2 mix risks never having down time. it’s personal I think…just my boundary pref. no clients in personal spaces
Mandy Mitchell: every SW is different but to me the “used to date” part gets a little dicey, there are plenty of other pros to seek, always
Sophie Darling: I NEVER EVER mix business into my personal life. Just my MO though…
Buttercream Bombshell: My view is to face to face express interest politely and let her decide.
Violet Baudelaire: IF she says yes, he needs to realize that all her normal work rules still apply, even though they know each other.
There were also a good number of conversations on the topic; Matisse especially had some good discussions with a number of the respondents, as you can see by following the links. It just goes to show you: everyone’s different, and on matters of sex work etiquette there’s sometimes no one “correct” answer.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
In the News (#654)
Posted in Current Events, Miscellaneous, News, Tyranny, tagged A False Dichotomy, agency denial, asset seizure, California, condoms, consensual crime, cops, Cops and Condoms, Devil's Advocate, Dominican Republic, end demand, Follow Your Bliss, Gorged With Meaning, Guinea Pigs, halfway whores, Hawaii, illegal aliens, Indiana, King of the Hill, Latin America, law, lawheads, New Jersey, New York, Norway, Ohio, pimps, politicians, pragmatism, rescue industry, Something Rotten In Sweden, streetwalkers, surveillance, Swedish model, Thailand, The Public Eye, To Molest and Rape, underage, universal criminality, What Were You All Waiting For? on July 13, 2016| 2 Comments »
An adult who chooses to engage in sexual activity, whether for recreation, procreation or in exchange for something of value, makes a private, individual choice that should not be subject to criminal sanctions. – Jeanne LoCicero and Udi Ofer
The 5th installment of the Tits and Sass series “Big Mother is Watching You” profiles notable American proponents of “end demand” and the Swedish model, namely Rachel Durchslag, Tom Dart, Beth Klein, Shirley Franklin, Yasmin Vafa and Dominique Roe-Sepowitz.
They “see it as a business transaction” because that’s exactly what it is:
…in recent interviews conducted to understand what is driving [migrants] into the hands of human traffickers, it is clear that those involved see the risk they are taking as a business transaction, not a crime. Malick Traore of Mali…said…“It is even more risky to live in misery in my own home country with a family always having tears in their eyes from hungers…the traffickers…do not call the migrant from their homes, or force them to cross the sea. It is just an agreement between shipman and client”…Mariam Camara…is a widow with two daughters…[she said] “the criminal is Malian government but not the traffickers.” Hamidou Thierro…says: “I do not see those traffickers as criminals, because they are helping the poor migrants who are sacrificing their life to get into Europe to help back their families and plan better life for their children. The traffickers are not human life protection agent but normal transporter as air plane or train”…
Lawheads just can’t get that normal people don’t really give a shit about their bullshit regulations.
Just about everything you need to know about this craptastic mixture of the obvious, the pearl-clutching and the dead wrong is that the author interviews the sociopathic narcissist Meghan Murphy instead of one of the many sex workers who write on the subject (such as, oh, ME for example), and approvingly quotes her as saying that raping a sex worker is no big deal. That, and the fact that it’s named “The New Prostitution Economy” because it pretends that young women trading sex to older men for resources is some kind of new thing.
Again, don’t think this is unique to Oakland:
When Leneka Pendergrass’ seventeen-year-old daughter…escaped…a pimp…Pendergrass turned to an organization that had previously helped. She called Patrick Mims…of the Sexually Exploited Minors program at Bay Area Women Against Rape…the lead East Bay nonprofit organization in the state’s Regional Anti-Human Trafficking Task Force…BAWAR works closely with Oakland police…to [indoctrinate] them about child sex trafficking. And BAWAR employees…accompany Oakland cops on their anti-[sex worker] sting operations…Pendergrass…and Mims frequently texted the first few nights after she and her daughter escaped…Then…less than a week [later]…Mims came to her apartment and they had sex…[this continued for six weeks, then] Mims suddenly stopped responding to her calls and texts…[and] her daughter’s case was no longer a priority for BAWAR. She felt Mims abused his position of power. Feelings of confusion and remorse grew intense, she said. She worried that her access to OPD and the DA was being curtailed, too…Pendergrass also wrote a letter to the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault, an umbrella organization of rape-crisis centers like BAWAR…nothing ever came of her letter, or the police report…BAWAR…appears to never have acknowledged what happened…
It’s always heartening to see a sex worker run for office, especially when she wins:
…Jacqueline Montero…worked as a prostitute for years to feed her children. Now, after a decade of activism for women’s rights in the Dominican Republic, she hopes to put her life experience to work following her election to the Chamber of Deputies as part of an opposition coalition…The 46-year-old wants to focus on improving opportunities for women, a significant challenge in a country where about 35 percent of households are led by single mothers in poverty…She plans to introduce legislation that would prohibit discrimination against…LGBT, sex workers, people with AIDS and the elderly. The walls of her office are adorned with diplomas and posters from international conferences dealing with sex work…Activists say the significance of her election transcends her relatively minor legislative position because she will be a powerful voice for largely unrepresented people…
Remember Bill Gates’ $100,000 grant to develop “the next generation of condom”? Well, the first results are in:
…After weeding through 953 applications, the foundation awarded grants to 26 applicants. Among them was Richard Chartoff, a polymer scientist at Oregon State University, who developed an idea for ultra-thin condoms made from polyurethane elastic polymers that respond to body heat and conform to the penis’s shape…the HEX condom, developed by luxury sex toy company LELO…[features a] “hexagonal net design [which] effectively holds together the condom,” [founder Filip] Sedic explains, “so we were able to make the majority of the condom’s surface very thin without forfeiting strength”…the hexagonal design gripped his penis without squeezing it. My husband’s sensations were less dulled than usual, too, since it was the thinnest traditionally shaped condom we used…myONE Perfect Fit from ONE Condoms will bring 56 different sizes to the market, allowing men to use a kit…to measure their penis length and width to determine the best size for them…
This guy seems like a real scumbag…so why isn’t Thailand asking for Norway to extradite him for prosecution there? Do you really want a precedent that people can be prosecuted in one jurisdiction for things they did in another jurisdiction where their actions weren’t illegal?
A 34-year-old Swedish businessman based in Oslo is facing trial in Norway accused of sexually abusing a 13-year-old girl in Thailand for several years – including making her pregnant…the girl…is from a poor family and had started working as a prostitute straight after finishing school…at the age of 14 she gave birth to the baby…DNA records have shown that the man is the child’s biological father…Police launched their investigation after he was arrested for…drugs two years ago. During a search of his home in Oslo officers found indecent images…and 51 movies showing children being sexually abused. They also found pictures of the Thai girl…
…Tim Wedge, a Forensics Science professor…in Defiance, Ohio…[created] FAGIN, Facial Analysis to Gain Information Now, a basic crude prototype…[which] is designed to take…pictures of missing children, run it through the facial analysis software by comparing them to pictures in ads for people being sold for sex online, and produce a report whenever there’s a match…Wedge says FAGIN has the possibility of rescuing a shocking amount of victims…800,000 children are reported missing each year. One in five of them are sex trafficking victims…
Can this “science professor” even do math? Because the reporter sure can’t. But more importantly: the same program could also compare pics from ads to, say, a driver’s license database, thus giving cops an escort’s legal name and address.
Hawaii has become the last state in the nation to explicitly ban sex trafficking. Gov. David Ige signed the bill…[which] makes [acts that were already illegal illegal again], expands the statewide witness protection program to include sex trafficking and provides victims access to criminal injury compensation. “It’s a historic day for Hawaii. Now, from sea to sea, the United States can say it [criminalized some crimes twice],” said Kris Coffield…[a “sex trafficking” profiteer]…
What Were You All Waiting For? (#622)
Is the ACLU finally beginning to do the right thing, at long last?
In honor of International [Whores’] Day, activists marched on Atlantic City on June 3 to call for the decriminalization of sex work…This is a goal the American Civil Liberties Union…strongly supports. Since 1975, the ACLU has believed that prostitution…should be decriminalized…It’s time to stop sweeping consenting adult sex workers into the criminal justice system. We need models that protect their rights, their health and their safety…Amnesty International adopted a policy advocating the decriminalization of adult consensual sex work in its efforts to prevent human rights violations. Amnesty isn’t alone. They joined the World Health Organization, UNAIDS, Human Rights Watch, the Global Alliance Against Trafficking in Women, the Global Network of Sex Work Projects and many other…groups in calling for the decriminalization of sex work to stem the abuse, discrimination and violence that too frequently plague the lives of sex workers…
For more than three decades now, the corner of Cypress Avenue and Starr Street has been known as one of the old-school New York prostitution hotbeds. Even as gentrification of the area rapidly progresses, prostitution as a symptom of the “bad old times” continues…Unbeknownst to the owners at the time of the opening, [a bar named] The Keep became somewhat of a local epicenter for…“Operation Losing Proposition,” the goal of which is to lock up johns as they solicit sex from undercover [sows who use]…the bathrooms at The Keep [without permission] to change into their [costumes]…Eli B. Silverman explains that the initiative was designed by CEU attorneys who researched the law that allows for [asset seizure]…In this case, johns’ cars could be seized…the operation has been yielding incredible [profits]…and [Silverman pretends] prostitution has been greatly reduced…the operation has been consistently dubbed a success, but 26 years later, one has to wonder whether the number of arrested johns is the correct indicator of success, or whether the operation opened a bottomless well of meaningless arrests…
No, you fucking filthy liar, it’s not “unique” and you fucking know it:
Alameda County Sheriff’s Department Sgt. Ray Kelly, a former sex crimes investigator who serves as the agency’s spokesman, said several members of his department were investigated but a review showed none had done anything illegal or against policy. Kelly would not say if the deputies had sex with [Celeste Guap]…“This case is unique, and it’s not a good example of the relationships between sex crimes victims and police officers,” he said…
In typical tone-deaf LA Times fashion, the reporter concludes a story about people abusing women under the guise of “rescuing” them from their choices by praising someone who abuses women under the guise of “rescuing” them from their choices:
…[Sylvia] Vigil…has been preaching to the girls she [condescendingly dehumanizes] as “twilight treasures” since 1982…when she founded the Oakland branch of Victory Outreach…On [a] recent visit to International Boulevard, Vigil shook her head as she watched [a] young woman enter [a client’s] car, said a prayer, then brought her van’s engine to life and hit the gas…As the man in the Cutlass attempted to drive away, Vigil pulled her van in front of his car, blocking him in. A colleague from the ministry who sat in Vigil’s van held up a Victory Outreach business card and shouted “not tonight” at the man…
Naturally, Vigil didn’t offer to pay the girl for the client she scared away, so the girl probably didn’t eat that night. But I’m sure the knowledge that she had been “saved” from dirty, filthy sex assuaged her hunger.
The End of the Beginning (#653)
Another in an anti-registry series from Vox:
When I first became a public defender, I believed the worst punishment that my clients would face would be time in jail. Since then, I’ve learned that incarceration is not the…worst…punishment the criminal justice system can impose. The registration requirements imposed on those convicted of sex offenses are unfairly harsh and punitive…I had always assumed that sex offender registration was limited to those who committed the most egregious and dangerous offenses. I had also trusted that the Supreme Court was right when, in 2003, it stated that sex offender registration laws are not punishments but merely administrative requirements to protect public safety. But I realize now that many of my clients would choose…anything to avoid being labeled a sex offender for life…because our current…laws apply an…inhumane one-size-fits-all approach that does not prevent future sex crimes and in fact makes us all less safe…The registration process appears designed to make people fail. The rules are so complicated that few non-attorneys can keep up with them…
Diary #315
Posted in Diary, tagged activism, New Orleans on July 12, 2016| Leave a Comment »
So much has happened since the last Desiree Alliance conference three years ago! Besides returning to full-time work and becoming much better known than I was then, I’ve become very close indeed to a number of the people I first met in person at that conference (take a look at that last link for some names you’ll recognize). So this will be a very different experience for me than the last one; then, I was just beginning to come into my own as an activist, and nervous about being far from home. I had absolutely no idea what to expect, and though I hid it well I was very deeply in pain about the dissolution of my marriage (when Matt left me at the conference hotel in Las Vegas, it was to be the last time I’d see him for almost a year, and the third-to-last time I’d see him while we were still technically married). But this time, I’m going home to New Orleans, accompanied by a number of my friends; I’ll be meeting many people I know online, and I won’t be surprised by being treated like a celebrity. Grace will be there too, and I’m making time to visit some old friends. Maybe I’ll even make some new friends, too, though this time I will definitely not be open to any new romantic attachments. So all in all, I think it’s going to be a blast; I’ll tell you all about it next week!
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