Can a client be an ally? A sex worker recently told me, “An ally who is not a client is a time-waster. Self-interest is irrelevant. The more people on our side, the better.” But I worry that the people I’m supporting will like me less if they believe I support their struggle out of self-interest. If you knew two male allies who were equally good at being allies, all things being equal, toward whom would you feel more warmly? The ally who is or has been a client, or the one who never has been? Or is the question truly irrelevant?
As a pragmatist, I don’t give a flying fuck why anyone supports decriminalization, just as long as he or she does. If a billionaire software developer is an ally because he has some software he hopes to sell to decriminalized sex workers, or a politician backs decrim because it will save huge amounts of money wasted on law enforcement, or a celebrity backs it because she thinks it will attract sex workers to buy her albums or see her movies, what difference does that make to me? Activists who demand ideological purity tests aren’t really interested in winning the War on Whores; they want a secret handshake club.
That having been said, an ally who has no “skin in the game” might be useful for a time, but what happens if his circumstances change? If he’s not invested in the outcome, it’s just a hobby to him. If anything, I think that allies who act out of enlightened self-interest are probably more trustworthy, because humans are humans and we all act out of self-interest at least to some degree. People who pretend otherwise aren’t “pure”; they’re just hiding their real motives, and that makes me wonder what those real motives might be. So while I welcome all allies, temporary or long-term, all things being equal I would prefer one who’s got as much to lose as I do if the prohibitionists aren’t stopped.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Very true, clients have plenty to lose especially where the Nordic Model is being enforced. So enlightened self interest is a positive motivating factor for all and any concerned party.
You’ve said it before, Maggie: Activism is not a social club, it’s war. And you don’t win a war by turning away anyone willing and able to fight on your side.
Working for marriage equality in Massachusetts, we had allies from all quarters, even some pro-lifers and moderate Mormons. And yes, we had some folks who tended towards LGBTQ separatism. But in the end, what got us where we are was the willingness to talk with and work with anyone, because public opinion moves politicians and courts.
The same applies here. The more folks we’re willing to talk to and cooperate with, the stronger the entire movement will be. From a pragmatic view, that starts with anyone who has “skin in the game”, as you say, from clients to family members of sex workers (perhaps we could see a harlot’s equivalent of P-FLAG?).
You and Maggie have excellent points, and you’re also principled.
I am an ally who has never been a client. But I do write erotica. And I do like porn. And I know that if they come for you, they’ll be after porn and erotica next. So you could call in a “confluence of interests” thing. Perhaps “enlightened self-interest” is the right term here. Every guy who likes porn should be for decriminalization, if only because the prudes and the feminists (who are really just a variant on “prude”) will always come for the actual prostitutes first. If you are free, I am very much more likely to be free.
Your colleague is wrong. Her (?) assessment is correct but incomplete.
Looking at the motivation of allies is entirely appropriate, both to measure resources and detect imposters.
I am not in this for the benefits, but because beating down on folks in my name is deeply offensive.
I support legalization/decriminalization of sexwork as that would likely lead to the same for drugs. But it is definitely drugs (psychadelics) where I have skin in the game, hehe…
I have never been a client and in addition, sex-work is legal where I live. But I find that the “First they came for the sex-workers,…” argument is very convincing, also because this whole thing is not actually about sex-work, it is about authoritarian control. Sex-workers are just one of the preferred groups of “the usual suspects”. The harder these groups get to attack, the better for everybody.
Help does however not include buying a service I have no interest in.