The do-not-step-on-sex-workers movement needs someone who, in addition to many other qualities, has the temperament & tolerance of a wronged wolverine. – Tanya Charbury
Recently, I saw a gent who told me he’d followed me for years and asked if I’d unmute him on Twitter. I asked why I had muted him, and he confessed to being a bit bratty to me a while back. We had a laugh about it and of course I unmuted him before he left my incall, but it did demonstrate to me that it was time to do something I don’t often do: revisit a question I’ve already answered, in this case the one from “Short Fuse“: Is it just me, or are you less patient than you used to be?
The answer I gave then was honest and accurate for its time, but that was almost four years ago and a lot has changed since then. As I said then, “I’ve never been patient with fools, trolls, ninnies, sophists, fanatics and the other assorted riff-raff who attempt to lay claim to my time and energy. In fact, my impatience with such people is almost legendary…” But while the set of such annoyances was at one time reasonably small, it has grown over time to encompass a lot of people who, while they aren’t completely blameless, are also not necessarily working at annoying me. Regular readers know that the past three years have been extremely difficult ones for me, and my emotional reserves have been at a very low ebb; I need to ration my psychic and temporal resources, spending them on myself, my clients, the people I love, and my role in this war the government has been conducting on us for the past two decades (which has recently heated up dramatically). And that means I simply can’t take the time and energy to deal gently with strangers who step on my tail, either intentionally or otherwise (such as by ignoring my clearly-stated ban on bootlicking or partisanism in my timeline); it’s much easier to simply mute them, with or without delivering a parting shot, and then move on. Ideal? Not at all, as the incident with the gentleman I mentioned above demonstrates. But I’m afraid at this stage of my life, it’s either that or expend my precious energies on unproductive discussions that will drag me down while failing to make a particle of difference in the struggle to which I’m committed. So for now, at least, my temperament is going to more closely resemble that of a wronged wolverine than a playful pussycat, at least for those who deliberately or carelessly stroke my fur the wrong way.
You bring up some interesting points …
With allies, a battle can be won vs. lost but sometimes the allies are unsavory too — with principles that are in conflict with mine. So, there’s a point in favor of collecting allies.
The recent and current foreign policy of the US is, in my opinion, a less-than-perfect example of allying oneself with someone and empowering him, only to later discover that he has become a new enemy, and much more dangerous due to US bolstering. So, there’s a point against collecting allies.
Then again, it’s have been much harder for the US in WWII to defeat the Nazis without a military allegiance with the Soviets, whose principles I abhor too. So, there’s another point in favor of collecting allies.
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For what it’s worth, I tend to collect a large group of potential allies. If I strongly disagree with a potential ally, I do so openly with emphasis on what my own principles are, rather than denigrating or attacking theirs. They are welcome to connect the logical concepts themselves to the extent they choose to do so. I’ve done due diligence if I’ve provided enough data so they can figure out where our interests coincide vs. conflict.
With this approach, I don’t mislead anyone in order to gain their allegiance, nor do I submit to their principles.
In that context, I’m OK with fighting side by side with them, against a common greater threat,
With this approach, my group of potential allies is a large and motley crew.
One idea would be to shut down the comment section (even as I comment).
I have garnered a great deal of information from your postings which IMO could stand on their own without interactions.
I wrote a question to you which you entitled “Lopsided Deal”. You shared your answer as a post (which was cool).
Then I got hit by one of your regular commenters with some accusation that I was baiting you .
Totally off. Had me doing a double take. Not even.
But I think that’s the nature of social media : Too many damn assumptions.
So, yeah, protect yourself (which you are doing).
I know I and probably a lot of others would still read without a comment section.
I was a regular reader back in 2012, before the government again rudely interrupted my life, and then I returned last year. I noted that you’ve become more angry, shrill even, and less tolerant. I’d even considered emailing about it, because the five year hiatus gave me a perspective that you might not have had. Obviously, that was unnecessary. 🙂
Clearly, it is necessary to avoid wasting time on the hopelessly anti, and there are also only so many hours available for retail persuasion. So it makes sense to limit interactions. For myself, I do not engage the ignorant or abusive, and I almost never bother with retail persuasion. As far as I’m concerned, it’s too late for teaching and persuasion, except in special cases. So I generally don’t. But everyone has their own priorities and necessities.
Because of my relationship in real life, I tried to get involved in the sex worker rights movement. Not only online, actually attending real life stuff.
I stepped away because like all real politics it seems to be full of dangerous informant types and genuinely crazy people. Even if I’m willing to deal with people like that myself, I’m not willing to bring any bad attention to her. We’ve had enough trouble with cops already (they tried to steal my car because she was the one who always drove it!) we don’t need anymore attention.
She’s semi-retired anyhow, only drifts back in when the bills get too high due to some emergency. It’s too bad. Things are bad for girls in the business right now from what I read in the news, but… well, I think it’s best to just focus on loving her and supporting her as best as I can.
I’m the same way. I’m trying to ease up a little as well. I think dealing with people online makes us impatient. In real life you can reason with people, but here it’s easier just to block them. Plus, people keep showing me how ignorant they can be, and it gets distressing. You’d think people would get smarter because more info that ever before is easily accessible, but that’s not the case.
Good article,well explained and rational. Puts things in perspective which is important. Your life is a hectic one and no one should take that for granted or underapperciate the effort you put in. Food for thought definetly.