I have come to the unpleasant conclusion that the autumnal downshift from the hyperstimulation of summer is neither as quick nor smooth as it once was, which means weeks of weird moods where I mostly feel fine (and not depressed or anxious), but I don’t have a lot of energy and I’m prone to short bursts of sorrow. Part of this is probably due to the accumulated psychic grunge of decades fouling my cerebral gears, and part of it is certainly stress-related, but the rest is probably just age. Thanks to good genes, a mostly-nocturnal lifestyle which protects my skin from ultraviolet damage, and a lot of money spent on various beauty treatments, I still look a lot younger than my age (52 a week from tomorrow); however, my nervous system has still been redlining all day, every day since I was at least 9 (and maybe for years before that), which means my brain is probably the equivalent of about 104 or more. I reckon that’s as good an excuse as any for being moody and cantankerous, but if it isn’t that’s just too bad; I’ve reached the point where I no longer feel the need to apologize for terrifying people who try to waste my time or make unwelcome demands without offering compensation.
Diary #434
October 23, 2018 by Maggie McNeill
9 Responses
Leave a Reply
Visit my bookstore
This Month
Old Posts
Call me
Become a Blog Patron
If you want to donate but don't want a recurring charge, you can send any amount you like via PayPal to my email address (see below). Be sure to include a note so I can thank you!Contact Maggie
Maggie on Twitter
My TweetsBoring but necessary legal stuff
Great to hear, glad you are balanced enough to see all before you and around you for what it is. 🙂👍🏻
i have an ex client that is posted fake reviews and putting my home adress online what can i do to protect myself and what should i do ?
About 7 months ago there was a lady whose situation was not dissimilar; some of what I wrote to her might help you. As for the fake reviews, what’s the policy of the board they appear on? Some sites (like TRB) refuse to remove them, whereas others have different policies; I suggest you find out so as to get them removed if possible. And if you’re able to move, it might be a good idea if you feel unsafe. Good luck!
I wish you a very happy birthday next week and a blessed Samhain!!
Get a lamp for light therapy. It helps me in the dark winter months
You misunderstand; I don’t have SAD. It’s the excess of light in summer that causes the problems, not the dark of winter.
You look classy .i am sorry the season makes you feel that way.
Moodiness with reflective sorrow and emotional outbursts may be inherent in the season itself. Many artists have depicted it.
I think Cécile Chaminade captured it well in 1886, in a piano etude titled En Automne that has remained popular world wide.
There are hundreds of performances by pianists on youtube.
The music may, or may not reflect your own emotional experience of the season. But I thought it worthwhile to mention.
Chaminade’s own exquisite performance is preserved on a piano roll recording she made in 1914 of En Automne, Op. 35 No. 2,
Her piano roll recording is played on a beautiful turn of last century grand piano here:
we all get to a point where you don’t want to deal with other people’s foolishness, at all. It happened to me quite young.