Commercialization and culture wars can only steal your Christmas if you let them. – Maggie McNeill
I’ve written on a number of occasions how important rituals are to human mental health, and how much poorer and sadder modern Westerners are for having largely forsaken them or, more often, allowed them to be replaced with other, synthetic rituals which serve the interests of the ruling classes (festivals such as “Super Bowl Sunday”, “Election Day” and “Black Friday” spring to mind). The mistake all too many secular and rational people make is in imagining that “ritual” automatically implies “religion”, which it absolutely does not (any more than irrational belief systems require a god).
As these examples of synthetic ones illustrate, rituals need not be organized around supernatural beliefs, biological families or anything else; the one thing they share is that they involve groups of people voluntarily coming together to do something in some specific way that doesn’t necessarily make logical sense. The event is not actually about what it is declared to be about; the Super Bowl could be recorded and watched later, shopping could be performed on some other day and no individual vote is worth the trouble it takes to cast it. What is most important to those who are devoted to such rituals isn’t the actual activity, but the sense of being part of something larger than themselves. To those who cluster outside stores on “Black Friday” the wait is part of the experience, just as it is for those who wait in lines to see long-awaited new movies or those who throng to an appearance of some admired leader.
The supposed reason for any given ritual is thus much less important than the ritual itself, and Christmas is a perfect demonstration of that. What began as an attempt to ensure the return of the sun after a long decline eventually became a celebration of that return, then a festival of various gods associated with rebirth, then a way to brighten the long winter nights, then a time for family and friendship, and now an excuse for spending a lot of money. But the major aspects of the festivities (such as their extraordinary length in comparison with other holidays, the giving of gifts, the feasting, the singing, symbolism involving plants and lights, etc) continued on through the centuries no matter what the current “official” reason was, and each place and time has made its own contributions to the vast heap of traditions and rituals which we now call “Christmas” (though it has had other names before, and will again). Some old traditions eventually drop by the wayside, and new ones are added; the pattern varies from place to place and even from household to household; but if we look at the big picture what we see is one large tapestry stretching back some 6000 years in time and across most of the Earth.
The takeaway from all this is summed up in today’s epigram: Christmas is there for you if you want it, and barring catastrophe or malicious action nobody but you can take it from you. How people celebrate Christmas next door or across town or in other cities makes no more difference than how they celebrate it on the other side of the world, or how they celebrated it 3000 years ago, or even what they call it or what reason they ascribe to the celebration; anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. Take whatever elements you want from the vast Yuletide buffet, and leave the rest; add your own traditions, and cherish them year after year; call the festival whatever you want, and ascribe it to whatever excuse pleases you. The only important thing is that it’s all meaningful to you and those you care about, and that you refuse to allow the pressures of life and the behavior of selfish busybodies to rob you of something which rightfully belongs to everyone.
Merry Christmas Maggie and thank You for sharing your precious thoughts and views.
Excellent piece, Maggie! BTW, I think I’ve found a Christmas carol you might appreciate:
Well – we are our own worst enemies when it comes to destroying rituals.
Life moves as fast as money and information. In the 1860’s – that wasn’t very fast. In the age of the internet, online shopping, online bank transfers, online college courses …
Not to mention cellphones, texting, etc …
Unless you make a determined effort to SKIP a lot of that … things like voting I suppose … or television or …
Then you quickly run out of time for rituals.
People don’t understand this … I had an old Commanding Officer who was always FURIOUS with the XO. I asked the CO … “What’s your issue with him?”
“He’s not the kind of XO I was.”
I told the CO – he was an XO in a different age – no internet. When he went to sea – he had time to do things like walk around and plan ceremonies – and actually improve shit. Nobody bothered him at sea unless they took the time to write a NAVAL MESSAGE … which was a royal pain in the ass so that alone filtered out a tremendous amount of bullshit.
In the age of the internet … any dumbass can write an email requesting data from an XO concerning how much laundry detergent is aboard – and XO’s have to deal with shit like that 24-7.
So other shit gets cut out – and it’s usually the ritualistic things because, on the surface – they have no seemingly tangible value to the problems immediately at hand.
Heh … I don’t have an answer for it. Not everyone has the luxury of slowing life down – and, in a world that is becoming increasingly more populated and dangerous – it would likely be a hazard if all of us did.
The solution is to let a computer deal with how much laundry detergent is on board, and with answering questions about such things. Then the human beings will be free to concentrate on important things, like how many times you can say “Sir” in one sentence.
I wish you a merry Christmas,
I wish you a merry Christmas,
I wish you a merry Christmas,
And a happy New Year!
(I’ll spare you the demand for “figgy pudding.” Doesn’t sound that good to me anyway, whatever it actually is.)
They said there’ll be snow at christmas
They said there’ll be peace on earth
But instead it just kept on raining
A veil of tears for the virgin’s birth
I remember one christmas morning
A winters light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that christmas tree smell
And their eyes full of tinsel and fire
They sold me a dream of christmas
They sold me a silent night
And they told me a fairy story
’till I believed in the israelite
And I believed in father christmas
And I looked at the sky with excited eyes
’till I woke with a yawn in the first light of dawn
And I saw him and through his disguise
I wish you a hopeful christmas
I wish you a brave new year
All anguish pain and sadness
Leave your heart and let your road be clear
They said there’ll be snow at christmas
They said there’ll be peace on earth
Hallelujah noel be it heaven or hell
The christmas we get we deserve
-Emerson Lake & Palmer
The only Pop Christmas song I ever want to hear more than about three times a year.
Christmas is a time of very mixed memories for many of us; some good, some ghastly. As here; and while this didn’t happen to me, I understand the pain:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10528408/Drug-addiction-robbed-me-of-my-father.-Christmas-is-the-worst-time-for-remembering.html?placement=CB2
And while there are memories, there is only the future to look to; and to hope that it will be better than the past.
What jack said. Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a healthy, happy and safe New Year. And thank you for everything you have shared and everything you are doing.
Ladies and Gentleman; prime your glasses, be upstanding and raise a toast to the author of these posts; she might well cringe at the thought, it might well bring a blush to her cheeks, but where would we be without her information, wit and erudition; and long may it continue:
Maggie
Sláinte!