“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.” – Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass
Like all subcultures, whores and our clients use specialized language to describe various aspects of our trade and the specialized activities we perform. Most of these are just slang terms used to replace a long descriptive phrase (for example, “cowgirl” replaces the rather cumbersome “woman on top position”), but others were originally intended to allow discussion of suppressed activities when official busybodies might be eavesdropping (on phone or internet communications). Of course, a secret shared is no secret at all, so once a term becomes common enough for a client to be relatively certain that it will mean something to an escort (or vice versa), they can also be sure the term is equally well-known to the cops. Today I’d just like to give you a brief overview of a few of the more common terms used in and about our trade. Many of these originated on the internet; some were first used among streetwalkers, while still others may be peculiar to New Orleans (which is the only place I ever worked).
Around the World means oral stimulation of the man’s anus as well as his genitals; as one might expect, the percentage of working girls who will grant this particular request is fairly slim even in the lower echelons. Even if one chooses to ignore the considerable hygeine issues, the chance of contracting hepatitis A or other diseases is in my considered opinion far too high to risk.
BBBJ stands for “Bareback Blow Job”, in other words fellatio without a condom. In the days immediately after the discovery of AIDS this was widely considered unsafe, and authorities encouraged people to use condoms even during oral sex. Almost three decades of research, however, have failed to turn up even one single documented case of HIV transmission via oral sex, and the last figure I saw was 0.04% chance of infection due to blood seepage into an undetected mouth sore. Since that’s roughly similar to the chance of being struck by lightning while walking in the rain, most call girls and escorts don’t worry about it much any more. Hepatitis B is transmitted much as HIV is, though probably at a slightly higher chance. Other venereal diseases (including venereal warts and herpes) can certainly be transmitted via oral sex, but since they have visible signs most of the risk can be avoided via careful visual inspection (as I’ve discussed before), copious salivation (which most men find visually stimulating anyhow) and disallowing ejaculation into one’s mouth. The latter requires careful monitoring of the client’s progress; I always asked him to warn me but also assumed he would not because unfortunately a lot of men are complete assholes on this particular subject and will not give warning despite the increased risk to the girl.
Cowgirl we’ve already discussed; the only reason I’m mentioning it here again is because many of my readers are probably unfamiliar with the terms for its variations, reverse cowgirl (woman on top, facing the man’s feet) and Asian cowgirl (as normal cowgirl but with one’s feet on the bed raising the whole body up and down rather than simply rocking back and forth).
Deep Throat means taking a man’s penis all the way into one’s mouth. With a little practice it isn’t difficult, and since it impresses the hell out of men it’s well worth learning. The trick is to suppress the gag reflex; I suggest practicing on bananas. Few men are long enough to actually go down one’s throat, and even those that are can be handled unless they are oddly-shaped (as I’ll discuss tomorrow).
Donation is originally an internet term; it simply means “fee”, as in “how much is your donation?”
Facial means ejaculation onto a woman’s face. Men who like to do this really like it, but some girls won’t allow it. Personally I was never bothered by it; it’s not difficult to keep one’s mouth and eyes shut, and since I was blessed with a clear complexion and lovely natural coloring I never needed to wear makeup in those days anyhow. I could therefore simply have a warm, damp washcloth handy for initial cleanup and then wash my face completely afterward. I can see how a girl who needs makeup would be averse to clients doing this, however, since it would necessitate a great deal more effort to restore her looks afterward than it did mine. It also tends to get in one’s hair, but can be brushed out in the short term and thoroughly removed by shampoo later. Amateurs who say “I would never let a man do that to me!” or “That’s so demeaning!” need to remember those statements when asking “Why does my husband hire whores when I give him plenty of sex?”
Full service simply means intercourse, as opposed to just oral sex or masturbation (the latter being the specialty of Asian massage parlors).
GFE means “Girl Friend Experience”; it’s a highly subjective term but generally means that the escort will cuddle, kiss, refrain from obvious clockwatching or otherwise make the experience seem much more natural and less mechanical. A high percentage of call girls provide either “GFE” or its converse, the “PSE” (some men believe that the two are not mutually exclusive within a single call, but I beg to differ). Of late, I have noticed a distressing tendency in internet venues to attempt to define a GFE by mechanistic criteria (such as whether the girl allows intrusive tongue kissing); IMHO this completely flies in the face of the very idea of a GFE, which is determined by how the girl makes the client feel rather than by a checklist.
Greek means anal sex. It isn’t commonly offered because one simply can’t trust a client to follow the instructions necessary to keep the experience from being painful, but there are always specialists who cater to customers who want it.
Hobbyist is an internet term which means a client who sees escorts as a continuing hobby rather than as an occasional pleasure. Hobbyists generally frequent internet boards dedicated to their hobby and share information with each other; some of them are excellent clients because they know what’s expected of them, never quibble about money, treat girls well and are scrupulous about keeping appointments. Unfortunately, the rest of them enjoy the hobby itself more than the girls, and can be nasty and exploitative. Sometimes the term is used in a broader sense to mean any client, but I think it’s more useful in the strict sense.
John is a term used mostly by police, the media and others outside The Life for a customer, as in “John Doe” since they are anonymous. The first recorded appearance of the term in print is from 1911, but it is unclear whether it originated among streetwalkers or started as an outsiders’ term from the beginning. Since I have never associated with streetwalkers or worked anywhere but New Orleans I can’t speak for whether any working girls actually use the term, but what I can say is that I never heard one do so, not even once, not even as a joke. I’ve heard “client”, “customer”, “date”, “patron” and even (once) “trick”, but never “john”. I myself always preferred “gentleman”, not merely because it’s polite but also evokes Amanda Wingfield’s “gentleman callers” in my mind.
MSOG means “Multiple Shots On Goal”, in other words the girl allows the man to have intercourse with her more than once if he can. It’s an internet term, and I must admit I giggled when it was explained to me. Many girls won’t allow it, which IMHO is rather stupid on their parts since this exists largely in the realm of male fantasy. What I mean by that is, though a large percentage of men ask for it (by initials or otherwise), only a tiny percentage can actually accomplish it within the time allotted. So there’s no harm in agreeing to this because most clients will be too spent after the first time even to attempt it again, and a gentle “but sweetie, if it took you 35 minutes the first time how do you expect to do it a second time in ten?” will take care of most of the rest. And on those rare occasions where the client is both quick on the trigger and able to perform again, why not let him go twice? It’s his hour, after all, and he paid good money for it.
Pearl Necklace means ejaculation onto a woman’s tits. This can turn into an unplanned facial if the man ejaculates energetically enough.
Popped means the same as “busted”, i.e. arrested.
Protection simply means condoms. A lot of people have their own idiosyncratic terms; one girl I knew used to call them “party balloons” and Doug used to refer to them as “dancing slippers” (as in, “get out your dancing slippers, I’ve got a call for you”).
Provider is a neutral internet term for an escort, as in “provider of services”. I don’t much care for this one, as it always reminds me of “The Providers”, those disembodied brains who once abducted Captain Kirk.
PSE stands for “Porn Star Experience”. This is slightly less subjective than its converse “GFE”, and refers to a very energetic escort who is adept at visually impressive stunts like deep throat and accepting of facials and other such porn-movie staples.
Russian is holding one’s tits together so a man can rub himself between them; obviously, it’s only possible with rather large tits.
Trick is old slang for a session with a client (as in “turn a trick”) or sometimes even a client himself. It first appeared in print around the same time as “John”, and is still used today among streetwalkers and lower-class escorts in some areas (including New Orleans). Higher-class girls generally prefer “date” or “call”, and I’ve also heard “job” or “deal”; working girls with musical backgrounds sometimes use “gig”.
Troublemakers is the term I preferred for the nasty, sadistic busybodies referred to by others as pigs, liars, busybodies, blue boys, heat, LE and a number of other things…in other words, cops, the single greatest threat to any hooker’s health, safety and livelihood.
So, there’s a quick explanation of a very few terms; there are plenty of others, but these are most of the common ones which sprang immediately to mind (though I wouldn’t be surprised if I overlooked a really obvious term or two). As I said above, these are the ones I know from the internet and New Orleans; to list every one from around the world would probably fill a slim dictionary.
I’ve heard that when teenagers first started describing their get-togethers as “dates” parents freaked out, because up to that time ONLY prostitutes called time spent with a man a “date.”
One I’ve seen online several times is “punter,” which apparently means the same as “hobbyist,” for all that it sounds like something from the NFL.
Yes, I know that one; I believe it’s of British origin.
what about half n half, snoball, and blacktoppingk?
“Half and half” (oral sex followed by intercourse) is only used by streetwalkers, massage parlor girls and other low-end whores who charge by the act rather than by the time period; I’ve never heard it used by an escort. “Snoball” or “snowball” (receiving a man’s ejaculate in one’s mouth, then kissing him and spitting it into his mouth) is a modern “urban” slang term which I suppose might be used about a really skanky, hostile, low-end whore with no concept of personal safety, but certainly isn’t used in the business except perhaps among gay escorts, with whom I’ve never had much contact. And I don’t know the term “blacktopping”, though I have a guess about it; if you choose to explain it, do try to be clinical!
Heard it on howard stern, so there’s no way i could describe it clinically 😉
Radio DJ terms are often not real slang; they’re things the DJ comes up with to get around censorship laws (though now that Stern is on Sirius he needn’t worry about that any longer). For example, my husband used to listen to Tom Leykis’ show on occasion and they habitually used the term “hummer” to mean “blow job”. If you wish you can send me the description in an email and I’ll try to rephrase it in as clinical a fashion as I can manage.
Teabagging is something a woman can’t do to a man; dirty sanchez is too disgusting to contemplate; rusty trombone has some similarities to ’round the world; and I’m sure we all know what 69 means (but what about 96?).
I’m sure that new terms will spring into being when space tourism gets going and people start joining the 100 Mile High Club.
“Baby, do you do the X/Y dodec?”
With the exception of 69, though, I’ve never heard of a guy specifically requesting any of that stuff from a whore.
🙁
Perhaps that’s just as well.
On a totally different note, my cute friend has informed me that “Creole” describes her quite well. She’s Creole and then some. Really exotic and cutesy. It’s too bad she’s so asexual; she’d make a fortune. As you say: it isn’t for everybody.
I’ve known quite a few Creoles, and they are often quite beautiful. Unfortunately, they have largely vanished as an ethic group since most now identify as black. Two of the recent mayors of New Orleans were Creole; both called themselves “white” on their Army enlistment papers but “black” when running for office in a majority-black city, and both married black women. To be sure mixed-race marriages are producing children who would’ve been called Creole in the old days, but they aren’t raised in that subculture.
I’m certainly in favor of making dictionaries, since it’s an important part of my day job. The etymology of these terms (usually metaphors or metonymies) is mostly obvious, but one of them stands out: the ‘Russian’. What gives? ‘Greek’ for anal sex is more or less obvious (via Ancient Greek’s surprisingly high level of acceptance of homosexuals, who suggest sodomy to a Westerner’s mind); but ‘Russian’? (I knew that practice from porn as ‘tit-fucking’; is Russian an euphemism? Does it imply Russian women have large breasts? My wife is Russian, and she doesn’t have large breasts…)
I suspect it does derive from the stereotype of big-titted Russian women. I heard the term for the first time less than ten years ago; when I was in my teens the guy I knew used to refer to it as a “Dutch oven”.
The “Venture Brothers” cartoon includes this dialogue:
“Prostitute: Okay big fella, you first. I charge you ten bucks for the Gilded Lily, twenty for the Roman Holiday, fifty for The Old Walrus ‘n’ Carpenter,and for seventy-five you can Sleigh Ride Down Kilimanjaro.”
These terms were made up to mollify the network. Two previous batches of bogus terms were rejected. And something allegedly genuine:
Oh, the French girls with their strings of pearls
Think it’s such a burning shame
That the local boys with their country joys
Never make them daisy chains.
They’re swapping disappointing incidents
While at the dock another ship pulls in
And suddenly the door breaks down (Hourah!)
It’s the Seven Deadly Finns!
Oh soldiers and sailors
Have all been there before:
Gigolos and governments
Have tumbled through that door.
Because they need those French girls
With all their kiss-curls
And powder in their guns
And the Seven Finns with the deadly grins
Tend to measure beauty in tons!
The first is a freak with a masochistic streak
And the second is a kitten up a tree
The third is a flirt with an awful print skirt
And the fourth is pretending to be me
The fifth wears a mac and never turns his back
And the sixth never shows his eyes
But the Seventh Deadly Finn is so tall and slim,
He shouldanever been with those guys.
Although variety is the spice of life,
A steady rhythm is the source
Simplicity is the crucial thing
Systemically of course
(work it on out like Norbert Weiner)
So when those French Girls say to you
“Would you like your ashes raked?”
You’ll have to take their word for it:
It’s the only thing to take…
(Yodelling chorus)
—————————-
http://music.hyperreal.org/artists/brian_eno/7deadly.html
(Norbert Wiener was an MIT professor. Brian Eno is Bjork’s predecessor as the smartest and weirdest pop musician.)
That sounds like a sea chanty; my husband has a CD collection of many such bawdy songs. 🙂
Hi Maggie,
Speaking of Sea Chanties, here is a modern version. I looked for the original which was a capella, but this is the closest facsimile I could find. You’ll have to forgive the animation and concentrate on the audio.
Looks like I was, ahem, a bit premature in the last post. Here’s the a capella version.
That was an AAARRRRR-rated song!
I think you AAAARRRRRight there!
😉
‘Protection simply means condoms. A lot of people have their own idiosyncratic terms; one girl I knew used to call them “party balloons” and Doug used to refer to them as “dancing slippers” (as in, “get out your dancing slippers, I’ve got a call for you”).’
I know a lady who refers to condoms as “condiments”.
I’ve been hearing jokes on TV about hookers offering ‘Around The World’ since the ’80s, but I never knew what it meant until now.
Now if I can only find out what the ‘Lioness On The Cheese-grader’ is.
I don’t know about sea shanties about semen..HAR HAR, but awhile back I wrote this: (Hope you enjoy)…
Samantha’s Story
Unpublished Work, All rights reserved, Copyright © 2010
Written by (Name withheld)
Samantha made a living
In ways I’m sure you’ll guess
And no amount of L.E threats
Could convince her to confess
The sordid truths and dark desires
Her “patrons” would lay bare
She would place deep inside her vault
(They knew she’d keep them there)
These trusting few — these tortured souls
They’d found their rapture’s niche
She fiercely filled their craven lusts
Like panthers on a leash
Mercy came to those who cried
(But, only if she chose)!
The “pain” she gave brought much delight
With relentless, stinging blows
And then, of course
There were her “pets”
These meek, they liked to play
They’d lick up all she served to them
Like liver on a tray
Oscar liked his nipples clamped
And Fred got off on pies
And Larry loved his asshole rammed
With cocks of every size
And April, she would cum for days
If her clit was roughly tweaked
And Peter lapped up Samantha’s pee
When down her leg it leaked
Best of all there were the twins
A wild, perverted pair
Who loved to singe their private parts
While other people stared
To lick on toes, or suck a cock
Seemed dry to her as toast
But stick a jar up some chick’s twat?
Who could want a better host?
The raunchier, the saucier
The more depraved the act
Would only fuel her fire for more
Joy they would transact.
As legend goes, Samantha kept
A few lovers for herself
For she loved them each
Like precious gems
Placed high atop a shelf
“I’ll shine you up.” She purrs to one
“And you – I’ll hose you down.”
And “Hands against the wall, my pet –
Don’t dare to make a sound!”
Lustfully, they all complied
To each cruel command she gave
They lapped between her thighs when asked –
And never misbehaved.
“Good pets,” she’d coo, and stroke their heads,
“It’s time I take my leave”
They’d moan and groan,
But knew all too well
The rewards they’d soon receive.
With shackles on and collars latched
She locked them all up tight
Leaving them alone in fear
As day turned into night.
Time crept by and her precious few
Were restless, scared and hot
But, just then – the door squeaked ajar-
And Samantha showed them what she’d bought.
“Hello, my pets, did you miss me?”
Her voice soothed their throbbing aches
“I brought you each a brand new toy,
Let’s see the mess we make!”
And so it went
As it often does
She got the best of each
She rode them hard, she rode them long
For she had so much to teach!
And so ends this tale
At least for now
Of Samantha’s lusty lair
So now you know
And I’d lay odds –
That you wish
That you lived there!
‡
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