The stigma of the prostitute is the badge of her identity. That is why the client goes to her. If he wanted someone without a stigma, he’d go and screw the lady next door. – Camille Paglia
The psychological term for what is commonly called a “kink” or “perversion” is “paraphilia”. Clinically speaking, mere sexual arousal by a thing does not rise to the level of a paraphilia; it only becomes one if the individual is distressed by the arousal or is unable to achieve sexual satisfaction without it. So if you’re turned on by enemas, but not obsessed with them, and you’re able to achieve orgasm through intercourse, that doesn’t technically qualify as klismaphilia. In more general sexological usage, though, the terms for the various paraphilias are used to describe those feelings and behaviors even when they aren’t pathological; the first draft of DSM-V proposes that the term “paraphilia” be used this way and “paraphiliac disorder” be used to describe a paraphilia that causes “distress or impairment to the individual or harm to others”, which seems like a reasonable distinction. There are over 500 known paraphilias (you may be interested in this list of the more common ones) and some of them are quite obscure, so it’s possible that the syndrome I plan to discuss today already has another name. But if that is the case I’ve never heard of it, so I’m going to coin and define a new sexological term: eglimaphilia (literally, “love of crime”).
In my online readings and discussions of sex worker rights, I’ve run into a small group of whores and clients who state that they are not in favor of decriminalization. Some prostitutes are concerned about registration or other onerous requirements of legalization, governmental interference, disproportionately high taxation and the like, or else they wrongly believe that legalization or decriminalization will encourage many women to enter the field and thus deflate the price. And some clients imagine a nationwide Nevada-style system and fear that independent escorts will largely vanish. Some of these are realistic concerns and others are not, but they’re all based in practical considerations. There is a certain group of clients, however, whose opposition to decriminalization has nothing to do with such concrete issues; these are the eglimaphiles, men for whom the chief turn-on of seeing a prostitute is the illegality of the act.
Though I usually agree with Camille Paglia, I think she generalizes far too much in today’s epigram; in my experience most clients don’t give a damn about the stigma, or they’re even repelled by it (such as the men who got angry when I referred to myself as a whore). But her statement is certainly true for some clients, who are indeed looking for the feeling that they’re doing something “dirty” with a “bad girl”. There are a number of paraphilias in which the thrill derives from the feeling of violation, transgression, etc; the most common example is probably the person who seeks sex in public places because he’s turned on by the possibility of being caught. I think eglimaphilia is related to these, though more serious; mere “naughtiness” or harmless “sin” is not enough for the eglimaphile. Rather, he is excited by the fact that by seeing a prostitute he is actually breaking a law with real and possibly serious consequences, and he opposes decriminalization or legalization because the thrill would be far less intoxicating for him were the act of hiring a whore to be a mere social transgression (assuming he’s married) rather than a legal one.
It’s easy to tell the eglimaphiles on a hooker board; they’re the ones who see girls, write reviews, and participate in discussions like everyone else until the subject of cops comes up, then they’ll emit some weird, self-loathing, badge-licking comments about how the police are right to bust escorts and clients because “we all know what we’re doing is wrong” or something like that. In a way, eglimaphilia is the opposite of reaction formation (discussed in my column of one year ago today); in the latter external moralistic behavior results from suppressed sexual desires, while in the former external sexual behavior results from suppressed moralism. And just as the neurotic suffering from reaction formation tends to secretly indulge his repressed passions, so I suspect does the eglimaphile occasionally surrender to his repressed sense of “morality” by phoning in anonymous tips to police or otherwise acting to “punish” the “criminals” that he himself patronizes and socializes with. And if such a man is ever arrested, you can bet he’ll enthusiastically volunteer to rat out every single person about whom he knows anything in order to save his own worthless hide.
Prostitutes are by our nature accommodating to men’s sexual desires, and some specialize in catering to even the more unusual paraphilias. But the wise professional should consider carefully before agreeing to see a man who has revealed eglimaphiliac tendencies; this is a person who thinks of her as a criminal, and who will probably not hesitate to betray her should the opportunity present itself. For any cautious whore, indications of eglimaphilia should result in a free one-way ticket onto her DNS list.
As far as hookers … the smart ones that know how to avoid the cops, what do they care for decriminalization? I actually envy a hooker’s ability to engage in the counter economic activity of untracked cash transactions. I could see some fear that that might come to a halt with either legalization or decriminalization. For those gals who have no worries from cops … why spoil a good thing?
As far as fetishes … I have never been able to understand those entirely. I don’t get turned on by anything unusual except pain and, I don’t understand why I like it. It’s not submissive – I’m not the least bit submissive by a long shot – but I like being bitten (usually on my Pecs and it’s fine if you break the skin).
Is this weird? I was with a Russian gal about three or four months ago and she started nibbling one of my pecs and I told her … “You can bite that as hard as you like!”. She said … “What will your wife think? It will leave a mark.” I said, “No, I’m not seeing her for another month – I’ll be healed.” I no sooner got the word “healed” out of my mouth when she simultaneously bit into my pec has hard as she could while opening the flesh on my back with her fingernails.”
It was DAMNED awesome! 🙂
“As far as hookers … the smart ones that know how to avoid the cops, what do they care for decriminalization?”
Um…no prostitute is ever totally safe from stings in places where it is criminalized and actually prosecuted. Those who believe they’re not in danger are naive. I don’t doubt Maggie conducted her business smartly, but even she got caught. More importantly, if prostitution is criminalized we are free game for rapists and serial killers who know we can’t go to the police.
Good point – I hadn’t thought about that, though I should have.
Instinct again, matey. Injury to an alpha male normally stimulates agression. (Remember I’m not talking about our socialisation or high-order intellect here).
So by causing a physical injury to her mate, the alpha female stimulates him to a more avid coupling than before, because as we’ve seen, there’s an *unspoken dark desire* to be taken forcibly, since sexual dominance is associated with alpha male behaviour at an instinctive level.
Phew. 😁
I don’t know what’s wrong with the world. I’ve always been fascinated by whores and when employing one the legality of the act doesn’t even enter my mind. As for fetishes, I have a zillion of ’em, and none of them could harm anyone (mmm, dirty underwear!) I used to shy away from rimming a lady but no longer. It’s easy to make a woman’s ass sparkly clean.
BTW I just found out that the anus is as densely packed with nerves as the penis or clitoris. That was interesting.
Camille Paglia is brilliant but weird. She claims on her website to be bi-sexual but she claims sex with men is sadistic? Is she looking for punishment or what?
I’m a little disappointed in that list of paraphilia — nothing about robots, demons, or aliens. You’d think cyborgs at least would have made the list.
Robots and cyborgs could probably count as a subset of Mechanophilia (which was on the list, and relates to machines, or cars)/
“Xenophilia” more literally means “strange or foreign things/people” which can and has in fiction been used to describe a possibly unhealthy sexual interest in alien beings.
Demon fetish is trickier, as “Daemon” is Greek for spirit, and “philia” Latin, and I’m reluctant to mix languages.
An online translator gave me the words “everto, eruo, & adnihilo” as Latin translations for “demon”. Reversing the translations gives three verbs: “throw out” “pull out” and “destroy” respectively.
However as a fellow anime fan, I would guess you’re particularly thinking of sexy demoness girls, a.k.a. Succubi (singular: succubus). Succubus is from Latin succubare, (“to lie under”) and so combines smoothly with “philia” (and if you wanted to speak of obsessions with male sex demons for some reason, you’ve probably heard of an inccubus also).
“Succubiphilia” then, to describe why you watch Viper GTS over and over and over…. ^_-
Actually, it just occurred to me Maggie might appreciate that little mini-series on a few levels.
We have our sexy demonesses essentially working as whores, trading a night of pleasure and happiness to the sad, lonely, or antisocial in exchange for a fee (granted, one’s soul is kind of steep ^_^;). Working under a supervisor who is quite reasonable if serious about his job (not exactly the violent abusive pimp stereotype).
Our main heroine Carrera, gets into trouble for not taking the soul of the nerdy young man she visits, moved by how amazingly GRATEFUL the poor fellow is. Yet she’d rather take the reasonable punishment than kill the boy who’s only real “sin” is being very lonely and not very attractive.
By the third part, the angelic host (all-female, metaphorical cops or neofeminists) arrest/kidnap two of the demonesses, and in a show of extreme hypocrisy, gang-rape them, even sprouting magic penii to do so (from the blog’s right-hand neofeminist column: “strive to think, act, work and look as much like men as possible.”)
Hypocrite police angels eventually lose badly to our sexy horned heroes by virtue of not being as skilled at sex as the real professionals. ^_^
The succubi are the heroines of this 3-part tale, shown to be very human and identifiable, character flaws and all. The angels of heaven are the totalitarian villians, oppressors, and hypocritical immoral and sadistic. The demons and their client get their happy ending together.
Man, the more I describe it the better metaphor for modern anti-prostitution oppression it makes. Rather blatant about it, actually.
I’ll give that link to Viper GTS one more time.
Yes, I do identify as a xenophile; it’s even my badge name when I attend A-KON (in case anybody was wanting to hunt me down but didn’t know how to identify me).
I’m embarrassed to admit that I have not seen Viper GTS (I’d heard of it but thought it was about cars). It certainly goes on my to-watch list now. Thanks for the referral, summary, review, etc.
You know, now that you mention it – I DO have this little fantasy that keeps popping up in my head from time to time involving alien women on this planet where the “myth” of the wanton woman is indeed TRUE. I am not going into it though – it gets pretty weird. 😛
“Philia” is from the Greek “philos”; the names of paraphilias are formed from Greek roots, not Latin ones. 🙂
“Maggie McNeill
“Philia” is from the Greek “philos”; the names of paraphilias are formed from Greek roots, not Latin ones. ”
(Blink blink) O.O
(A few wikipedia searches later…)
Dammit, she’s absolutely right. Why was I so sure Philia (and Phobia, in fact) were Latin?
Okay SailorB, we’re back to “Daemonphilia” … actually probably need an “O” connector in there… so “Daemonophilia”; for an obsessive attraction to demons… with the understanding that Daemon just means “spirit” in original Greek, with no necessarily evil nature implied. There’s that Roman Empire successor we refer to as the Catholic Church at work again. 😛
As long as it isn’t the mailerdeamon!
I’m really hurt that the list of common paraphilias doesn’t include mine. 🙁
I thought it was somewhat common. I guess not.
I was banging a girl who liked to be tied to a picnic bench in a public park.
Is that picnicphillia?
Maggie,
I thought you might be interested in this *truly nasty* initiative by what you term the “neofeminists,” but who seem to me to be of the garden-variety. 😉
http://preview.tinyurl.com/d2qstzc
I read several of those mini-article posts. Their intentions for “taking action” aside, I don’t think any of them understand what an Internet Troll is. They’re not going to solve a problem if they can’t even identify it properly… or am I overusing Hanlon’s Razor? Perhaps they’re less naive than I think, and are merely latching on to this “issue” to use for the furtherment of their own agendas.
Well, let’s assume Ignorance over Immorality for the time being (or at least so I can continue to try and make this post informative). 😛
“Trolling” is originally a fishing term; basically, to dangle a line with bait on it behind a moving boat, in order to lure only the hunter-type fish who are bigger, faster, and look more impressive mounted on one’s wall.
In Internet terms, this is a supremely anti-social person who gets their kicks making others miserable; the goal it to infuriate the other poster to the point where they overreact or respond in kind, thereby getting themselves banned by forum or site moderators for excessive profanity, personal attacks, etc. It’s a power-trip for the troll, tricking another person into getting themselves banned.
Sexism is never the issue, nor racism, or whatever else the troll is using to try and make the other poster explode in anger. It’s just the bait used for a sick little game, played by the severely maladjusted to make themselves feel important and powerful.
I’m sure whoever tweaked these naive feminists nosed read this column and tittered like a giddy schoolgirl over their reaction.
There may be something to the legal angle, but I think it goes deeper than that.
Men are taught to be restrained and respectful around “good women”, their wives, sisters, mothers. Only with the whore can they confess any desire, act out, and be as raunchy as they want. That’s because of the special social standing of the whore. She’s “lower” on the social scale, and thus not worthy of the same regard as other women. She’s a “dirty” girl, a “damaged woman”, a “soiled dove”. You can be real with her, she’s unshockable.
Many societies have a coyote or trickster character large in their legends. This character stands outside common social mores. He isn’t immoral, but amoral. He does what “nice people” don’t, but what needs to be done.
Whores are like that, in our society. Because of our special social status, we’re not expected to conform to the code of “nice girl” or “lady”. We’re expected to be wanton, carnal, devious, to revel in the nasty, and to fulfill desires. We’re rewarded for this, but society also demands we be punished. Society wants stories that reinforce the idea that no obeying the rules doesn’t work out in the end. That’s why we want our whores to be ultimately unhappy. That’s why we tell ourselves they are enslaved, drug addicted, crazy, products of bad homes.
Whores do what you want, but you’d never want your daughter doing it.
That’s fascinating, and probably right. So, if prostitution were legalized or decriminalized, the local hooker wouldn’t be dirty enough anymore?
I understand the appeal of the forbidden, though. In my early teens I streaked a few times. I was very careful not to get caught, and I never did. But why did I do it? Not because I wanted to be seen; I didn’t want to be seen. I certainly didn’t want to get arrested. No, I wanted to get away with it.
I had it in mind for a while that I wanted to see one of Tracy Lords’ old movies, from when she was fifteen or sixteen years old. She was by all accounts indistinguishable from a legal adult, so it wasn’t any hebephilic reason. Nah, I wanted to see her having sex because I’m not supposed to.
Maybe I’m not as brave as when I was a teen myself, though, because I decided it wasn’t worth the risk to try and buy it. The guy selling it could be an FBI agent.
“Ahh” said Bear “That Coyote, he is a cunning scamp, no?”
I do love the native american mythology of Bear and Coyote. 🙂
Comixchick, I think you may be generalizing from American society. The porn stars who work in the Bunny Ranch in Nevada are on a different level. That is, they’re plenty “dirty” but command very high prices, surely a mark of some kind of respect. Even if the guy just wants to do this so he can brag about it afterwards is borrowing someone else’s light to shine.
German whores seem to be held in some respect at least.
Dunno about the whores, but whenever I see vids on wide-variety porn sites (ex : The Hun’s Yellow Pages) that features something extreme like “two-handed fisting” (… um… ow? O.o) they always seem to be speaking German in the video. Now I never go LOOKING for German porn specifically, but that’s the sort of thing I ‘ve stumbled onto, and a preconception starts to form…”
Someday tell us of Germany’s view on prostitution, and how the system there works (or doesn’t). Considering the tone of most of these forum topics go, it might be interesting to compare to “German whores seem to be held in some respect at least”.
Hello Hinoron,
I think fisting began on male gay sites and then was rapidly picked up by lesbian sites. German porn seems a little more fixated on pretend incest scenes My toughest problem with the German sites is that I don’t understand German so I can’t tell if anyone is using so called dirty words.