If you are a woman interested in experimenting with woman on woman contact, how does one go about looking for a provider?
Really, the process of looking for a female escort isn’t much different for a woman than it is for a man who’s looking for a particular appearance or activity; in fact, it’s probably easier than finding one who caters to an unusual kink, because bisexuality isn’t all that uncommon in women. There is one catch, though; while most escorts will advertise the fetishes they work with, most don’t advertise that they see female clients (outside of couples) for the simple reason that there aren’t that many (I saw exactly two in my entire career). So when you do your research (these two posts should help you there), don’t just look for ladies who specifically state that they will see female clients; also look for ones who say that they enjoy seeing couples and also do “doubles”. If an escort sees couples and is willing to do two-girl shows with other escorts, there is a very good chance she will also be open to seeing a woman alone.
Once you’ve found a lady who appeals to you and who you think would be willing to see you, contact her by whatever means she specifies on her website; be sure you let her know that you are a woman and that you want to see her solo, i.e. your husband or boyfriend won’t be there. Otherwise she may think you’re approaching her for a couple call, or even fail to recognize that she isn’t corresponding with a man (if your screen name doesn’t make your gender obvious). Since you’ve never done this before, you don’t have any references; this may not be a problem because A) most women aren’t going to be as wary of meeting a strange woman as they are of meeting a strange man; and B) I sincerely doubt many cops are trying to set up escort stings with female fakers. This is by no means a sure thing, however; some ladies may insist on screening you on principle, so just give whatever information they request and it shouldn’t be an issue. If you want to be on the safe side, try to find one who says she’s “newbie friendly” in addition to the bisexuality factor; that usually means she’s willing to do full screening rather than relying on references.
I have one more suggestion: since it seems from your question that you’ve never had any lesbian experiences before, you might consider hiring your escort for several hours rather than just one; you could then take her to dinner, chat for a while and warm up to her as you would on a regular date, instead of just jumping into the sack. I think that would dramatically increase your chances of having a good experience, which would in turn help you to know whether you really like it or not. After all, if you rushed things and things didn’t turn out well, it might turn you off to the idea of further experimentation when the problem was really with the uncomfortable situation rather than with the lady.
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Absolutely on the several hours thing. Female sexuality isn’t the same as male. We’re a bit slower getting going, but I’ve had lesbian lovemaking sessions last for hours.
I fully expect that I’m probably bisexual, but I’ve never had the experience of looking at a woman and thinking, “wow, I want to go to bed with HER.” I don’t discount the possibility that it might happen in the future though.
I HAVE had “girl crushes” on women who I find beautiful and admirable, but it has never gone that extra step into sexual attraction.
If you’re curious about being with another girl and you don’t have a visceral repulsion of the idea … you’re probably some level of “bi”. If you’re sure you won’t hate yourself later – then you should probably make an effort to try it out – life is short you know? I think you’re married right? So I’m betting your husband will go apeshit with delight (I know I would – I’ve tried to talk my wife into a three-way with this former NFL Football Cheerleader she’s friends with, and really likes a lot but nope – she won’t bite. 🙁 )
Unfortunately every girl I’ve ever been with – including hookers, have pretty much repulsed by the idea – though I didn’t ask every single one of them (if I was only with them once or twice). My girlfriend from 6th grade is a Lesbian now – but not really the attractive kind you know what I mean?
That former cheerleader doesn’t work for a bank, does she? Because if she does I know the one you mean, and she’s damned good-looking.
Nope – she owns a dance studio and she gets almost $10,000 of my money every year … no it’s not for sex either. 🙁
A funny discussion I had with my ATF about 6 months ago …
Me: “Who are you doing doubles with now that (whatshername) is retired?”
Her: “I need to find someone – do you have any ideas?”
Me: “Well I wouldn’t want to recommend someone you’re not attracted to.”
Her: “I doubt you could find anybody that I WAS attracted to – I don’t swing that way.”
Me: “Yeah – but you did doubles with (whatshername).”
Her: “Yeah – but she and I clicked – I miss her. I’m not attracted to women though – and I hate eating pussy.”
Me: “Really?”
Her: “Well, do YOU like sucking dick?”
Me: “Not particularly.”
Her: “Well it’s the same with me with pussy.”
Me: “Well … did you do THAT with (whatshername)?”
Her: “Sure I did but that was (whatshername) and I like her.”
Me: “You like her but you’re not “bi”?”
Her: “Nope – not even attracted to (whatshername) but when I go down on her it’s like a joke. I can also “pretend” to eat pussy by holding my head in a certain position where the guy can’t really see what I’m doing – but I’m not really touching anything. She likes to do it to me … so she does most of that kind of thing if the guy wants it.”
Me: “Okay well if you and I ever do doubles you don’t have to eat pussy – you can just watch … or something.”
Her: (laughing) “…. Or Something!!”
Unlike our esteemed hostess, I do in fact have a kink of watching two men together, but 98% of the time watching women get it on does nothing for me. It is a longstanding fantasy of Mr Sasha however, so who knows, maybe I’ll get him a threesome as a birthday present someday. 😛
Some guys get all the luck. 🙁
You’ll be the first to know if and when I do. 😉
Merely watching two women together does nothing for me; I have to be involved to be turned on by lesbian sex.
I was on the ECCIE forums a while back and I came across a thread where a provider was wanting to hire another provider. She contacted the lady but was turned down. On one of the following comments another provider said that she had tried to do the same thing and had a hard time trying to find a provider. She eventually did but had to contact a number of ladies. I think that the providers who offer doubles aren’t necessarily bisexual, they just offer this service since they know it’s a popular male fantasy. One provider that I see tells me that she is bi, but that another provider I see really isn’t. I’ve done doubles with both of them and I can’t really tell the difference.
That’s why I said she should look for somebody who also likes doing couples; doing doubles with another pro can be faked as Krulac’s lady friend pointed out, but doing the woman in a couple can’t be. Some professionals might also be much more reluctant to see another pro as a client than they would be to see an amateur.
I wasn’t intending to say that finding ladies who do doubles and also couple calls is a bad idea. I’m sure it would increase the chances of finding someone. I’m just saying that even some of these ladies are actually straight, you’ve pointed out in the past that woman can be more flexible in their sexuality. I have asked my ATF and she says she is bi. I asked her if she’d ever had a woman contact her and she said she’s had 2 woman do so. She also said that she finds it harder to please another woman than a man. I guess that could be another reason why a pro would be more hesitant to have a woman client.
Heh …
Tell her to do what I do … say … “Sorry I suck at this … here’s my credit card, go shopping with your girlfriends and I’ll just stay here and take a nap.”
That will turn BAD sex into GOOD sex for her in a heartbeat!!
Pleasing women? With a “binary” tool that has two modes? “In” and “Out”? Not much you can do with two modes … and one has to follow the other every time and it always has to start with “in”. You can’t do “in” / “in” or “out” / “out” – impossible to be even that creative … it’s always “in, out, in, out” … maybe “all in” / “half out” … but that’s the point you reach the end of the possibilities.
Oh – then some of us will try to get creative and do a “gyroscopic” motion just for a three-dimensional effect. Is that appreciated? Hell no – some girls will make fun of us for doing that. I won’t mention any names – but her initials are M-A-G-G-I-E!!!
So yeah … a little “in / out” followed by a platinum credit card … and call it “good”. 😀
I talked to my “ATF” and she used to do doubles with her friend and I asked her about the fee …
She told me that usually they charged $500 an hour for doubles and the girls would just “split” the fee ($250 / hour) … now this was last year when my ATF actually charged $250 per hour for solo visits – since then she’s raised her rates to $300 / hour.
Anyway – she DOES NOT like doing lesbian interaction. I told her … “Then why don’t you charge more for it?”
This is what the girls in the German FKK’s do – you want two girls – fine, it’s 100 Euro per hour for each … you want lesbian interaction during that hour – it’s an extra 100 Euro (for each I believe). They consider, what they call “lesbi show” to be an “extra” … which I think it is.
Apparently – most American hookers don’t charge extra … but I think my ATF will start doing that soon – when she gets the nerve to do doubles again! 😛
She asked me if I’d be the first “victim” when she finds someone … because she said she wanted a guy who was “easy” and non-critical for her first time with a new girl. I told her … “Oh yeah … I AM SOOOO DOWN WITH THAT GIRL!!”
As a provider, seeing someone I know and work with in the scene is way different than seeing someone I don’t know. It’s like seeing *my* accountant for sex versus seeing *an* accountant.
Bisexuality isn’t all that uncommon in men either. I find American pop culture to be extremely extreme in its promotion that affection between men is supposed to be seen as “gay”. You noticed in American comedies for example that men who hug are always shown to back off quickly from one another or say “I love ya bro, no homo”.
In many other cultures affection between such as holding hands and other gestures does not carry that stigma.
Of course many of those men seen holding hands will vary often do much more with each other behind closed doors, particularly if they come from cultures that socially segregate the sexes until marriage. It is not uncommon for boys to experiment sexually with other boys and young men with young men, until they get married (to women). They do not consider themselves “gay” and they do not want to get married and adopt kids with other men. They are sexual with each other because of the access they have to each other and the access they do not have to women.
However sometimes this behavior continues even after marriage, but often not.
The same is seen in all boys schools around the world.
The same is seen in all boys schools around the world.
But for some reason here in the US we insist that “female sexuality is more ‘fluid’ somehow than male sexuality.
World history and world current events does not bear this out.
Of course, extreme circumstances can cause all kind of unusual behaviors.
Male heterosexuals may engage in homosex where no alternative is available (such as in prison). Some homosexuals may try heterosex to see if they are “really gay”; neither of these phenomena imply bisexual orientation at all.
It is so common. And the situations are not necessarily extreme. Human sexuality runs on a spectrum.
Would you care to put a figure on “so common”?
I can’t put a figure on it. I’ve travelled a lot and met a lot of people and saw their behaviors and heard their stories.
I don’t have stats on this or studies to qoute. Besides, a lot of “studies” are done on a few men from just a few countries and similar cultures (US, Canada, Australia and the UK) and from there assumptions are made about the rest of us around the world.
And when it comes to sexual behaviours people tend to lie or embellish when interviewed, so I don’t trust such studies.
In this regard, my opinion, for what its worth to you, is that first hand experience trumps any “study”.
Human sexuality is on a spectrum and depending on circumstances and oppurtunities, various aspects of that spectrum get “expressed” so to say.
😉
Maggie, would you say it was easier for a man wanting to hire a man, or a woman wanting to hire a woman? In both cases, assume it’s for one-on-one. Anybody else have any ideas on this?
A man wanting to hire a man is much easier; all he has to do is go to Rentboy or another gay escort site. A woman wanting to hire a woman…well, see above.
Thanks. Since my wanting to hire a man is about as likely as my becoming a woman (and I really don’t expect that to happen), it was a strange question, but it just suddenly occurred to me.
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