The Blues are not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch; ain’t no way out. – from “How To Sing the Blues”
This was a relatively quiet week for links, and I’m glad to say that I haven’t yet seen much unseasonably-early Christmas stuff yet (though I did have to re-activate the email filter which automatically deletes anything with the words “Black Friday” or “Cyber Monday” in the subject line). I’m nearly finished with my book, and the cover art should be here in the next few days; I’ve also been working on some other extracurricular stuff I’m sure y’all will like, which will be announced as it’s released. Everything down to the first video is from Radley Balko; the video itself is from Aspasia, and the second video (a short film from 1966 on the making of 2001: A Space Odyssey) is from I Am Curious Blue. The links between the videos were contributed by Szusa (“Greek music”), Brooke Magnanti (“Prince”), Mike Siegel (“update”), Neil Gaiman (“Heisenberg”), Walter Olson (“ice”), Rick Horowitz (“Circle K”), and Jesse Walker (“python”).
- Activist charged with felony for sharing public data from police website.
- Never call the cops for any reason whatsoever. Not even accidentally.
- US aids criminals by increasing the price of their wares.
- You, too can stay in a heated shanty with wi-fi!
- Headline of the week.
- How to sing the Blues.
- How did Ancient Greek music sound?
- A dramatic failure to learn from history.
- What if Prince had been a writer instead?
- Update to last week’s “IRS perjury” story.
- A sort of Heisenberg principle for life-forms.
- Hotel made entirely from ice is ordered to install smoke alarms.
- Circle K expects every employee to be willing to die for Circle K.
- Prosecutor who jailed innocent man for 25 years is jailed for 10 days.
- Man supposedly changes into python and swallows girl in a hotel room.
From the Archives
- Skepticism, Star Wars, Southern belles, censorship, UFOlogy, politics, piss, torture, D & D, delusions and Uncle Sam as abusive husband.
- “Leading a crusade” against any sexual behavior is probable cause for suspicion of practicing it.
- With sex worker “allies” like the ACLU, who needs Farley and company?
- What forced prostitution and violence against women actually look like.
- The inevitable result of laws which treat women as helpless victims.
- Governments block legal challenges to tyranny by refusing to listen.
- Some Greek officials believe in “sex rays”, even if the people don’t.
- Whore-hatred in World War II France and contemporary Iceland.
- Why sex worker rights have languished while gay rights thrived.
- Portland, Maine elects a burlesque dancer to the school board.
- Why opponents of prostitution should fight whore stigma.
- The stark difference between two “rescue” charities.
- Aspasia on would-be allies and “concerned parties”.
- Rachel Wotton’s wonderful charity “Touching Base”.
- What European news stories on sex work look like.
- Judges rule that sympathetic magic really exists.
- The tale of a brutally-thorough client screening.
- Map of surveillance societies around the world.
- A rare refutation of an embellished memory.
- Australia dumps a porn-censorship scheme.
- Umpteen thousand people can’t be wrong!
- The difference between morals and mores.
- Veronica Franco, courtesan and poetess.
- Thieves posing as sex workers in Kenya.
- When Someone You Love is A Sex Worker.
- The “sex robot” morons are at it again.
- How to render a bad date line useless.
- The forgotten angels of Dien Bien Phu.
- Hard facts about “sex trafficking”.
- Another “dog bites man” study.
BLUES – IT IS a very simple musical form – the genius is in finding new ways to express it. Almost all blues is based around the I, IV, V cord change for 12 bars and it’s simple to figure out. If you’re playing in the key of “E” then the (I) cord is E, the (IV) cord is A, and the (V) cord is B. You can play it straight major but most Blues will use 7th cords. My favorite is E major, A7, B7. When you hear musicians say “you only need three chords to play” – it’s a bit of an oversimplification because you need to KNOW more more than 3 chords or you will only be able to play in one key – and that’s not the Blues.
It’s 12 bars – and it repeats again. The most basic change is 4 bars of the (i) chord followed by 2 bars of the (IV) chord followed by 2 of the (I) again – then 2 bars of the (V) chord and finishing with 2 of the (IV) before repeating the whole 12 bars again and a lot of Blues includes a “turnaround” at end – which is a bit difficult to explain.
Beatles – “Yer Blues” … followed this concept. “Everybody’s Tryin’ To Be My Baby” by Carl Perkins – and covered by the Beatles with George Harrison singing lead is another. There’s a story that the Beatles “figured out” the key but when they met Carl they wanted to verify it was right and asked him what key it was actually in. When Carl told them … it wasn’t the key they thought and George supposedly told John … “I told you we were doing it wrong!”
Blues lead – is probably the easiest to learn and play too. The key again – is finding inventive ways to express it. It’s basically the minor pentatonic scale with a couple of “blue notes” thrown in. It can be difficult to play blues lead correctly because the whole thing is in the choice of notes that you’re playing over the chord. Stevie Ray Vaughn, was a master of this – but most people only saw the way he played – which was awesome – but his technical talent went hand in hand with the intuitive way he picked the notes to play over the chords.
Guitar is HARD man – it’s not just playing – it’s thinking and choosing – and doing it correctly.
And Blues – is only ONE way to play guitar. Someone like Joe Satriani plays basically every guitar style there is – including blues. Sammy Hagar – great guitar player – but he’s really only based in blues. In Van Halen, Eddie Van Halen would let Sammy play – but it didn’t take long before Sammy would run out of “blues chops” and that’d be it. Still, he used to impress audiences with what he had.
By the way … who’s the best guitar player in the world? For my money – it’s Richie Kotzen (with PRINCE a close second). Technically – it would probably be Satriani – but I don’t think he comes close to the expressiveness of Kotzen and Prince.
Kotzen – joined the band POISON in the early ’90’s after he lost his recording contract and CC Deville was kicked out of the band. Kotzen was the best musician EVER to play in Poison and that band would have been BIG with him – but he fucked the drummer’s girlfriend and they kicked him out. However, he played only a Telecaster and Stratocaster – and they all had single coil pickups which is highly unusual for a “hard rock” sound which is mostly based around the “Marshall” style “crunch”. Kotzen integrated the warmer “Fender” style “cream” into an unlikely musical style and that’s why I think he is a genius.
Plus – he had that fuckin’ hair and was tons better as a vocalist than Brett Michaels ever was.
I want to know the blues name of all our regulars.
Mine was Smallpox Pineapple Taft
More contemporary Richie Kotzen … the first solo starts about 3:10
Mine would have to be “Vertiginous Peaches Fillmore”. 😀
I couldn’t think of a real Bluesman with a fruit for a name so I asked Grace and she immediately shot back “Fat Watermelon Johnson”, which of course fits the rule perfectly.
The “Asthmatic Pineapple Hoover” article hints include “Blind Lime Jefferson”. Blind Lemon Jefferson was the real McCoy.
Cheech and Chong’s “Blind Melon Chitlin” violates the rule.
Just to get baldness into it, I’ll nominate Quinquaud’s Decalvans Folliculitis Quince Adams.
Eddie Murphy should get a credit for “Hell, No.” When he was on Saturday Night Live, he answered the question “Why are there never any black characters in movies like The Amityville Horror, The Excorcist, or Friday the 13th with “Because black people are too smart to do the stupid things white people do in those movies.
Murphy: “What a lovely house!”
Ghost: “GET…OUT!!!!”
Murphy: “Too bad we can’t stay!”