The idea that sex is some sort of magic, holy sacrament despite the fact that all but the simplest life forms engage in it is a perfect example of how delusional humans can be. Though sex is a powerful drive, so is hunger, and I don’t see anyone claiming that eating with someone else creates some magical bond between them. I honestly feel sorry for those who truly believe that the best way to “connect” with other people is by boinking them, and the notion that people must boink to feel “connected” is a tragedy. Sexual relationships are held up as the pinnacle of human interaction, but they’re not even close; they’re in fact nearer the bottom because they’re extremely conditional. The true pinnacle of human interaction is intimate friendship; it persists under conditions that destroy “romances”, lasts much longer on average, and is an incredibly powerful connection despite governmental attempts to place other relationships (including sexual & familial ones and even the one-sided “relationship” between individual & State) above it. Friendship is the most powerful kind of love in the world, which is why government constantly tries to weaken it; it persists despite the fact that, unlike practically every other relationship between two people, it has absolutely no legal status. Other relationships require government to prop them up; friendship is the only one which is able to stand completely on its own.
Peak Relationship
October 18, 2019 by Maggie McNeill
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Absolutely! The majority of the people I’ve been closest to are people I never had sex with. The ones I have – we became close quite a while *after* we’d been having sex.
Quite true.
You’re fabulous.
Wonderful post. Extreme conditionality indeed. Our bodies are accidents compared to our souls. Even the hideous can choose goodness.
The silly notion that you can’t have sex without looooove comes down particularly hard on young people who are first navigating both.
This was an awesome blog. Some people go on and on about blood is thicker than water but i believe friends can be your real family. Just like some people are born into the wrong bodies i feel some people are born into the wrong families. The latter being more psychology and the former biology but it still leaves both not feeling right in where they ended up.
This is particularly weird when I hear it from women. All the women I have ever known have had very intimate same-sex friends, with whom they shared just about all their secrets and innermost thoughts, but whom they never for a second thought of as potential sex partners. I’m a guy myself, but I have had friendships with other guys where we would tell each other a lot…but never for a second saw each other as actual or potential sex partners. Cross-gender friendships of this sort are less common but not unknown. And I’ve never in my life had sex with anybody I cared about enough to care what she was doing one half-hour after we were done.