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Posts Tagged ‘cosmetic surgery’

Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education. –  Bertrand Russell

I recently stumbled on this article at Wired Magazine and was immediately impressed with the incredible stupidity and ignorance of its author, who apparently believes that if he watches one flock of pigeons in one city for a while he can safely make pronouncements about swallows in Capistrano, hawks in Africa and Adelie penguins in Antarctica.  Even with all my experience I hesitate to make general statements about all hookers everywhere, but Sudhir Venkatesh doesn’t; after talking to a bunch of streetwalkers and low-end escorts who used to be streetwalkers in New York City, he apparently considers himself expert enough to make pronouncements about “sex workers” in general.  This article has to be seen to be believed, but I warn regular readers that the only part which won’t have your jaw dropping in astonishment is the angry commentary from real whores below the main article.  So, I’ll just cover some of the highlights.

What is it like to be a prostitute?  The answer depends on whether you work out of a client’s car or a $500-a-night hotel room.  In 1999, I set out to study the effects of efforts to bring the suburban middle class back to New York City.  The gentrification of Times Square made for a unique social experiment:  What happens to sex workers when they are pushed off the streets and into the outer boroughs?  I had little idea at the time that I’d be documenting the rise of an entirely new, upper-end “indoor” market, in which streetwalkers have given way to a professional class.  The economies of big cities have been reshaped by a demand for high-end entertainment, cuisine, and “wellness” goods.  In the process, “dating,” “massage,” “escort,” and “dancing” have replaced hustling and streetwalking.  A luxury brand has been born.  These changes have made sex for hire more expensive.  But luxe pricing has in turn helped make prostitution, well… somewhat respectable.  Whereas men once looked for a secretive tryst, now they seek a mistress with no strings attached, a “girlfriend experience,” and they are willing to pay top dollar for it.

Let this sink in for a moment.  Venkatesh, a professor of sociology at Columbia, has apparently never heard of courtesans and seems to sincerely believe that upscale prostitution, stripping and massage parlors were all born in the past decade in New York City.  This represents such profound historical and sociological ignorance it literally boggles the mind.  The next paragraph is more of the same:

Technology has played a fundamental role in this change.  No self-respecting cosmopolitan man looking for an evening of companionship is going to lean out his car window and call out to a woman at a traffic light.  The Internet and the rise of mobile phones have enabled some sex workers to professionalize their trade.  Today they can control their image, set their prices, and sidestep some of the pimps, madams, and other intermediaries who once took a share of the revenue.  As the trade has grown less risky and more lucrative, it has attracted some middle-class women seeking quick tax-free income.

Undoubtedly, the rise of the internet has made it a lot easier for girls to be completely independent, but even agency girls are independent contractors and there were personals ads and referral services long before the internet was invented.  The internet has also allowed girls who might once have worked the street to inexpensively advertise to a wider audience and stay more safely indoors while doing so.  In this one respect, his findings aren’t far off-base; the problem arises when he attempts to extrapolate information gleaned from streetwalkers and ex-streetwalkers (“I followed 290 women, 170 of whom made enough (at least $30,000) to separate them from streetwalkers”) to the entire sex worker population.  And his bizarre assertion that high-end prostitution is a product of computers and cell phones would certainly surprise Phryne, Theodora, Mata Hari, Madame Pompadour or even Josie Arlington.

After interviewing 120 streetwalkers and 170 low-end escorts ($30,000 a year is very low-end, especially in New York) Venkatesh feels confident enough to pronounce that “escorts” (not low-end escorts, all escorts) earn about 50 percent more per transaction than streetwalkers (after saying the latter make about $75 per transaction), are “beaten twice a year, on average,” and “keep working to pay for clothing and shoes.”  Just a bit of perspective here:  In New Orleans (a cheaper market than New York) during the time period of the study agency escorts charged an average of $300 (of which they kept $200) and independents $200, and I never met a girl who was literally beaten by a client, ever.  And I guess they’ve never heard of things like “rent”, “food”, “gasoline”, “electricity bills” and “children” up at Columbia.  He also declares that independent escorts “have to” pay for drugs for clients, which is as amazingly stupid an assertion as any in this mess; it would be a foolish escort indeed who agreed to bring drugs to a client since the very request screams “cop”, and the idea that she would pay for such out of her own pocket leads me to believe that some of these girls were pulling Venkatesh’s leg.

It just goes downhill from there; we are told that nearly all escorts have a day job (in reality a minority do), that a boob job will increase earning potential about 50% (obviously he’s never heard of “spinners”), and that bottle-blondes make more money (they don’t; I got just as many requests for brunettes).  “Caitlyn” sold this sucker on the idea that mid-range escorts spend $2000 per month on shoes, and he somehow got the notion that a girl with four regulars making $80,000 a year is “high-end” in New York.  The professor says all sex workers (even, apparently, strippers and PSOs) “always” carry two cell phones because “Guys sometimes grab a woman’s mobile to gain a sense of power and control” (perhaps that happens to New York streetwalkers from time to time, but I’ve never heard of it) and that “If the client wants to skip the condom, there’s usually a 25 percent surcharge” (no, there’s usually a boot out the door for such a request, and even among desperate street girls or semi-pros who agree to it there’s no “usual” charge because desperation is not a predictable thing).  But in the end, he reveals his methodological flaws in spades:  though 61% of his interviewees had used Craigslist at one time or another, according to his graphs only 8-15% advertised via “personal referral or other”, with that “other” containing every other means of internet advertising including Backpage, Eros, personal websites, review boards, etc, etc, etc…in other words, his “study” ignored somewhere in the neighborhood of 75% of the whores in New York.

The only remotely interesting thing about the study (outside of its author’s capacity for self-delusion) is that he claims to have encountered 290 streetwalkers and low-end escorts but only 11 pimps.  Considering that like most people he was probably predisposed to overestimate the percentage of girls with pimps the number is a tantalizingly low 3.8%; unfortunately his worthless methodology renders even that number unusable, which is too bad because otherwise it would’ve been a great statistic to quote.

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…and now you know the rest of the story. –  Paul Harvey

More short news stories hearkening back to the dim and distant past, namely late January and early February.

Welcome To Our World (January 20th)

Here’s another example of people using the same arguments we use, except for a different issue.   I wonder how many soi-disant “liberals” out there (especially in Sweden) would accept the idea that a severely retarded man has the right to make choices about his own sexuality, while simultaneously rejecting the concept that an intellectually-normal adult woman has that same right.  This is paraphrased from an article which appeared in the Telegraph on February 4th:

An English judge has ordered a severely retarded 41-year-old man to be placed under “close supervision” by the authorities who provide his housing in order “to prevent any further sexual activity on his part” after the local council complained that his “vigorous sex drive” was inappropriate for someone with an IQ of 48.  They claimed he did not understand what he was doing, and an official psychiatrist even tried to prevent his being given sex education on the grounds that it would leave him “confused”.  The 41 year-old had been in a relationship with a man whom he lived with and told officials “it would make me feel happy” for it to continue.

The judge said the case was “legally, intellectually and morally” complex as sex is “one of the most basic human functions” and the court must “tread especially carefully” when the state tries to curtail it, but he agreed that the man, known only as Alan, should not be allowed to have sex with anyone on the grounds that he did not have the mental capacity to understand the health risks associated with his actions.  The judge concluded:  “I therefore make a declaration that at the present time Alan does not have the capacity to consent to and engage in sexual relations…in such circumstances it is agreed that the present régime for Alan’s supervision and for the prevention of future sexual activity is in his best interests.”

Under the Mental Capacity Act 2005, judges have the power to make life or death decisions for people deemed to lack the intelligence to make them for themselves – such as ordering that they undergo surgery, have forced abortions, have life-support switched off or be forced to use contraception.  The judge in Alan’s case said sexual consent requires an understanding and awareness of the “mechanics of the act”, “that there are health risks involved” and that sex between a man and a woman may lead to pregnancy.  He said that the psychiatrist thought Alan “believed that babies were delivered by a stork or found under a bush”, and that “sex could give you spots or measles”.  On that basis the judge ruled that Alan did not have the capacity to consent to sex, but also ordered that the council should provide him with sex education “in the hope that he thereby gains that capacity”.

If ignorance about sex is grounds for a court order forbidding it, neofeminists and religious fundamentalists need to start worrying.  And if ignorance about a specific aspect of sex (e.g., prostitution) provides similar grounds, trafficking fanatics and Swedish Model proponents had better get used to celibacy.

Walking Stereotype Sues Whore (January 22nd)

We all knew this would turn out this way, but it’s still good to see.  Thanks to Brandy Devereaux and regular reader Joyce for calling my attention to this UPI press release on the 8th:

A federal judge in New York tossed a lawsuit alleging a stripper who performed sex acts in a tourist’s Las Vegas hotel room did not fulfill her obligations…”Plaintiff’s claims do not arise under a federal statute or the U.S. Constitution,” [Judge Loretta] Preska wrote in the ruling…Preska said Blackman should have filed the suit in Nevada, “where a substantial part of the events or omissions giving rise to the claim occurred.”  The judge said she decided not to transfer the suit because it “would not be in the interest of justice.”

January Updates (January 25th)

Is an update to an update a meta-update?  The first “January Update” story was about a woman who died during her sixth boob job; well, this one wanted to enlarge her bum but the result was the same (from Yahoo News, February 9th):

A woman who had a cosmetic injection in her buttocks at a hotel near the Philadelphia airport died early Tuesday…Detectives said the woman and three companions traveled from London and were staying at the Hampton Inn…Two of them had traveled to the city in November to have their buttocks enlarged and, on Monday, one received another injection while the other had a hip augmentation…the 20-year-old woman who had the buttocks injection later complained of chest pains and trouble breathing.  Paramedics were called, and she was taken to Mercy Fitzgerald Hospital where she died…

Police were seeking two people involved in the cosmetic procedures…[which] they believe… were arranged over the Internet.  “We’re not quite sure right now if that person performing that procedure is licensed or unlicensed,” said Lt. John Walker.

I‘m not quite sure why a woman would want her derrière enlarged, but I suppose there are some who might need it.  In any case…ladies, please, real plastic surgeons do NOT make house calls to hotel rooms!  You get what you pay for, and botched cosmetic procedures are just as dangerous as any other botched medical procedure.

Don’t Buy It (February 1st)

Among the people duped by all the hype about the Super Bowl being a bonanza for “sex trafficking” was a wannabe pimp from Austin, as reported in this paraphrased story from the Dallas News of February 7th:

Anthony Ladell Winn, a 35-year-old felon from Austin, forced a 14-year-old girl and her 20-year-old sister to come to work as prostitutes in Dallas because he thought “there was big money to be made during the Super Bowl”, but Dallas police caught him before the sisters arranged any dates.  Winn was arrested early Sunday on felony charges of attempting to compel prostitution by force and trafficking of persons.

Area authorities had been bracing for a possible influx of prostitutes and human trafficking victims in the run-up to Super Bowl XLV.  Authorities say it can be extremely difficult to accurately measure whether such crimes spike and why, but as critics predicted there was no increase in reported prostitution cases, perhaps due in part to the icy and cold conditions, police said.  Dallas police reported 23 adult prostitution arrests from Wednesday through Sunday, though they noted they do not know how many were related to the festivities or people surrounding the Super Bowl.  “We didn’t see that as being a drastic increase in our normal enforcement numbers,” said Assistant Chief Tom Lawrence.  Sergeant Byron Fassett of the Child Exploitation Squad said the Winn case was the only arrest of its kind thought to be related to the Super Bowl.  “I don’t know that I saw on the street level any more activity than any other normal night that we would have run an operation,” said Fassett.  He claimed that “there’s no real statistical data to prove it one way or the other.”

I’ll discuss the broader implications of this in Tuesday’s column, but note the most important part of this article:  Despite attempts to blame the epic failure of their ridiculously overblown estimates on the weather or to make bullshit statements like that last line, the Dallas police had to admit that Aunt Maggie and the other voices of reason were right all along:  THE SUPER BOWL IS NOT A MECCA FOR TRAVELLING PROSTITUTES, and there was no “explosion” of “trafficked children”.  Of course, virtually nobody in the media will remind the public of this next time it happens, and the Winn case will be used as “proof” that there were tens of thousands of others out there who didn’t get caught.

Maggie in the Media (February 3rd)

Kelly Michaels was so pleased with her January 31st show that she’s asked me to join her on Nymphtalk Live for about a half-hour every Monday night, and I’ve agreed.  Here’s the link to last Monday’s show, and tune in tomorrow night for the next one!

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…changes aren’t permanent, but change is. –  Pye Dubois and Neil Peart, “Tom Sawyer”

Who Did Your Tits? (October 1st)

As those who remember this column already know, I can deeply sympathize with any woman who gets a boob job, whether for personal reasons or for business reasons.  And though I wouldn’t do it myself, I can even understand why a woman might want more than one boob job so as to be even larger.  But I have a lot of trouble comprehending why anyone would feel the need for SIX boob jobs by the age of 23, nor for that matter why it took her five surgeries to get to the same size I reached in one jump despite the fact that I was pretty flat-chested to start.  And to have the surgery against medical advice in a desperate bid for publicity is just sad.  Requiescat in pace, you poor, misguided little kitten.

Jezebel (November 6th)

I touched on a number of topics in this column, but one of them was self-appointed guardians of the public morality who belong to groups like “Morality in Media”.  Well, the Marriott corporation has apparently decided to kiss up to such groups in an attempt to make itself appear “family friendly”.  This is paraphrased from a story which appeared in USA Today on January 20th:

Marriott International reports that it’s removing access to adult movies from the new hotel rooms it will be opening the next several years.  The decision coincides with a pending shift to new, in-room entertainment technology, and comes after years of discussion on whether the availability of adult entertainment in guest rooms is “appropriate” and whether secure safeguards exist to keep it away from children.  But it’s certainly no coincidence that in-room porn, for years a reliable money-maker for hotels, has been steadily declining in popularity (and thus profitability) as business travelers increasingly turn to cheaper self-provided entertainment (or simply access porn via the hotel’s broadband internet connection).

According to Marriott’s statement, “It is our practice to keep adult content out of the reach of children and unavailable to any adult who chooses not to view it.  We have strong controls in place that allow guests to block these materials. Changing technology and how guests access entertainment has reduced the revenue hotels and their owners derive from in-room movies, including adult content.  We are working with in-room entertainment providers and technology vendors to transition to the next generation of in-room entertainment.  This new platform of Internet-based video-on-demand will facilitate our exit from the traditional hotel video systems that included adult content in the menu selection, and will also provide guests greater choice and control over what they watch across our system.  As we transition to this new platform, adult content will be off the menu for virtually all of our newly built hotels.  Over the next few years, this will be the policy across our system.”

When I showed this story to my husband (who frequently travels on business) he pointed out that another reason for the decline is that adult movies are always much more expensive than the other options, which is not only a financial disincentive but causes these selections to stand out on the hotel bill even though the name of the movie does not appear.  Obviously, Marriott’s discontinuing in-room porn is the equivalent of a sneaky Catholic schoolboy trying for an easy Lenten penance by giving up a type of candy he no longer likes.

Welcome To Our World (January 20th)

Just a few days ago I wrote about women in other walks of life being on the receiving end of the same kind of rhetoric whores endure constantly, then yesterday the Guardian was kind enough to provide me with another example I’ve paraphrased here:

Protesters blockaded the main entrance of New Scotland Yard in London in a demonstration against undercover police officers having sex with members of groups they infiltrate.  The protest followed the revelation by former undercover cop Mark Kennedy, reported in the Observer Sunday (January 23rd) that undercover operatives attempting to infiltrate environmental and left-wing activist groups routinely use sex as a tool to blend in and gather intelligence.

Anna Jones, who was among 35 protesters at the headquarters of the Metropolitan police, said: “These women were not able to give informed sexual consent.”  Another demonstrator, Leila Deen, asked a young male staff member:  “Did you know your agents were using sex with women like us to get information?  It is a clear abuse of public office.”

The protesters carried pictures of the undercover police officers identified in reports along with placards with slogans such as “Keep your truncheon in your trousers.”  They demanded that other undercover officers should be identified.  “We want a fully independent judged inquiry into the way undercover policing is being conducted in this country,” said Kate Blagojevic.

The Association of Chief Police Officers claimed last week that operatives were absolutely forbidden to sleep with activists, but Kennedy denied that and said that senior officers encouraged the behavior; the only stipulation was that falling in love was considered highly unprofessional because it might compromise an investigation.

Hmm, cops having sex with women under false pretenses in order to bust them; now where have I heard about that before?  Welcome to our world, environmental activists!  And BTB, policemen, there’s a word for a man obtaining sex from a woman by force (deception, after all,  is a mild form of force) that she cannot be persuaded to give by other means, especially when his intent is to hurt her by means of that sex.

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To those who have exhausted politics, nothing remains but abstract thought. –  Honoré De Balzac

A collection of links and comments leftover from the twelve days of Christmas.

Update: Lying Down With Dogs

Remember my column about how the US seems bound and determined to align itself with third-world countries and oppressive regimes?  Well, this article is sort of a reverse example, because while in Afghanistan organizations which protect women from abuse are accused by the media of promoting prostitution, in the US prostitutes’ rights organizations are accused by the media of promoting abuse of women.  Is one so different from the other?

Am I Missing Something?

In this article from the New York Post, we read that a 24-year-old Manhattan woman named Lily Shang has filed suit against her estranged husband, 26-year-old David Glenn Rucker, after he threatened to post sex videos they took together on the internet (though he plans to edit himself out).  Leaving aside for a moment the issue of their ages (which supports my contention that men shouldn’t marry until at least 30 and women until at least 25), what I want to know is how this is even one particle different from this story I mentioned a couple of weeks ago.  Yes, the stories are by two different writers, and yes, the latter are celebrities while the former aren’t, but otherwise what’s the difference?  How is a man using the threat of releasing a sex tape in order to lower his divorce settlement any worse than a woman using the exact same threat to raise hers?  In my opinion both threats are equally reprehensible, and if I were the judge I’d throw the book at the one making such a threat, but then I believe in justice.  Of course I also believe in Santa Claus, so what do I know?

How Exactly is This is Different From Every Other Year Since the Dawn of Civilization?

Lisa France of CNN says 2010 was “The Year of the Mistress”, and claims celebrity mistresses were a bigger story last year than in other years.  No offense, Lisa, but were you educated in a convent?  Did you somehow miss the fact that wealthy men have always had mistresses, that it’s always a scandal when others find out, and that such scandals have always been wildly popular with the hoi-polloi at least since the invention of the printing press?

Really Cheap Whores

Former Playmate and Hugh Hefner “girlfriend” Izabella St James reveals in her new book just how cheaply Playmates sell their favors:  $1000 a week, and not for easy work either.  For comparison purposes, I’ll mention that my fee for an entire week was $8000.  True, Hef also gave them plastic surgery and the possibility of a centerfold gig, but considering that none of my plastic surgeries cost over $5000 I hardly think that makes up for their getting paid one-eighth what a New Orleans call girl could command.  And that’s even more true when one factors in Hef’s baby oil obsession and preference for anal cowgirl.

Update:  My Body, My Choice

In my column of November 19th I pointed out that Roe vs. Wade established that a woman’s right to privacy includes her right to own and control her body, and since the sexes supposedly have equal protection under American law it also establishes that a man has a right to own and control his body.  And though many states argue otherwise, it clearly establishes the right to suicide; if it’s legal to end the life of a dependent fetus, how can it not be legal to end one’s own?  The contradiction is a logical and legal absurdity.  Yet the state of Connecticut argues that it has the right to force-feed a prison inmate named William Coleman who wishes to starve himself to death to protest what he says is his wrongful conviction on a charge of raping his ex-wife…a charge she only made after consulting a divorce lawyer when Coleman sought sole custody of their children.  Maybe, as some commenters on the story suggest, it’s a grandstand play, but when the state of Connecticut tried to make the problem go away by offering Coleman parole, he refused on the grounds that to sign the papers would constitute admitting his guilt.  Obviously we don’t know what happened, but I think the timing of the events and his refusal to accept parole lend considerable credibility to his story.  And it isn’t like he’s asking for a retrial or pardon, though I’m sure he’d accept either; all he’s asking for is the right to end his own life, as established under international law.  The state of Connecticut’s case is apparently based on the claim that Coleman’s actions infringe on its right to torture him for as long as it pleases, or perhaps because he has dared to call attention to the fact that courts are not infallible.  Many women seem unable to even consider the possibility that any rape accusations might be false, a problem whose implications were discussed by Furry Girl in a recent column, but this isn’t even about that; even if he’s as guilty as a cat with a mouthful of feathers, he still retains the right to end his own life rather than submit to torture.  And the state has no right to torture anyone, not even a rapist or someone accused of espionage.

Dutch Treat

Though this article was published in mid-November, it only came to my attention over the holidays. Maybe the reason Dutch women are so accepting of prostitution is that they realize that for a woman to pursue a male-style career is really kind of stupid unless it’s really, truly what she wants and not just what neofeminist-influenced society has forced her into.  One of the reasons many of us take up prostitution is that, like the Dutch women in this article, we recognize that there are a lot more interesting and fulfilling things to do with one’s life than climbing the corporate ladder and sitting in a cubicle all day.

Devil’s Advocate

How old are you, and how good is your memory?  Can you remember the way male writers of the ‘60s and ‘70s used to ridicule feminist complaints?  Admittedly, some of the rhetoric of those early feminists was overblown, histrionic and even a bit silly (e.g. “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”), but most of those women had legitimate grievances that were no less legitimate because they were awkwardly or emotionally expressed.  And if those male writers had taken the time to look beneath the surface and to strive to understand why women were acting that way instead of just insulting them and dismissing their feelings, the “gender war” might never have happened and we’d all be a lot better off today.  With that in mind, take a look at this Jezebel article and its follow-up.  I guess some people will call it “turnabout is fair play”, but IMHO the appropriate aphorism would be “those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.”

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The question you’re not supposed to ask is the important one. –  Mason Cooley

Our first question was posted in a new comment on an old post by a reader who resides in the Netherlands:  Just today, when we were coming back home from a restaurant, my 8-year-old daughter, out of the blue, asked: “Daddy, what’s a prostitute?”  Before I could answer, my mother-in-law (who went with me, my wife and my daughter to the restaurant) launched into a short description of the standard stereotype (“pariahs…” “dirty…” “horrible lives…” “bad women…”).  Since I don’t think it’s a good idea for adults to fight in front of children, I let her go and kept silent. I’m still thinking about what I should tell my daughter later on… and how long I should wait.  Any advice?

At her age, you might try something like this: “Sometimes men get lonely when they don’t have girlfriends, and a prostitute is a lady whose job is to keep them company for a little while so they won’t feel so lonely.” It’s inexact, but it covers the basics in terms an 8-year-old can grasp. I wouldn’t wait too long; since your mother-in-law has already said something you might explain that some people think prostitutes are bad because they think they’re trying to fool the men, but that isn’t really true.

If your daughter responds with something like “That sounds nice, I want to be a prostitute when I grow up,” you might say something like, “Well, it’s sometimes hard work, and some people might think you’re bad if you do it, so it’s probably best to wait until you’re grown up to think about that.”  After all, you wouldn’t want her going around telling people her daddy said she could be a prostitute when she grows up!

I don’t see escorts very often, but I treated myself the other day; she was a polite and reasonably attractive brunette, a little older than me.  Unfortunately she wasn’t very tight down there, so with a condom on it was hard to get any friction going to keep it hard. I was able to finish but it took A LOT of work on my part.  I’ve never experienced that with any woman before; I know each person is different but when you ran your own agency did you get complaints of  workers being “too loose”?

Everybody is indeed different, and some women are large to start with, but the degree of looseness you describe almost certainly resulted from having babies (especially if they were large or the births were difficult).  Contrary to popular belief no amount of intercourse can loosen a woman permanently like babies can, not even several times a day for years.  The lady you saw could probably have restored much of her tightness with Kegels exercises, and if that proved insufficient there is plastic surgery which can do the trick.  Either way, if she intends to stay in the business she probably should do something about the issue or she’s going to get more complaints than she might like.  I never received any complaints like that on any girl I employed, and certainly not on myself!  But then, I was small to start with, never had babies and perform my Kegels religiously.

I’m a new reader to your blog with a question, and I was just curious as to what you would define as a slut? Is a slut just a promiscuous woman who isn’t a whore or something else? Also, is a slut the same thing as a nymphomaniac?

I don’t really care for the term “slut” myself because I feel it’s both pejorative and imprecise, but if I were going to define it I’d say a “slut” is a woman who is promiscuous without a profit motive.  I think, however, that the average man uses it to mean any woman he wants to insult (regardless of her behavior) and the average woman uses it to mean any woman who is more promiscuous than she is!  Given that, I just don’t feel it’s a really useful term even if it weren’t so judgmental.

However you use it, though, a nymphomaniac is definitely something different; nymphomania is a psychological disorder which causes the sufferer to be obsessed with sex and to have a sex drive so high that it causes her distress and serious problems.  Nymphomaniacs are usually unable to maintain relationships for obvious reasons; the behavior is compulsive and thus results in trouble like any other compulsive behavior.  Therefore, you might say a nymphomaniac is to a slut what a kleptomaniac is to a thief and a pyromaniac is to an arsonist.  Incidentally, the term “nymphomania” applies only to women; the corresponding disorder in men is called “satyriasis”.

What does it mean on a escorts ad if it says willing to see basic plus one or two?

Preferred 411 (P411 for short) is a verification service which does a background check on its male members, so if you’re even a basic member girls know you aren’t a cop or other type of liar.  Whenever an escort member sees a client member she can give him an “okay”; the more “okays” the more girls he has seen who will vouch that he’s an acceptable client (not abusive or scary).  So “basic plus two” means she’ll only see a guy who has two or more okays.

My husband wants to try anal sex but I’m afraid it will hurt.  Is there a right way to do it so it doesn’t?

There sure is; you’ve got to relax.  Ask your man to follow your instructions exactly, and use plenty of lubrication (I don’t care what you’ve read, spit is NOT enough).  Make sure he’s rock-hard; semi-soft won’t work for anal.  Tell him to put it inside you just until you start feeling discomfort, then stop and hold it right there; this is the part where trust comes in, because a man’s natural instinct once he’s inside is to start stroking and if he does it will hurt you.  Remain in that position, breathe regularly, and calm yourself; within a minute or two your sphincter will relax and the discomfort will pass.  Then tell him to start stroking, slowly at first until you adjust to the feeling, then give him the go-ahead and tell him not to hold back.  This form of sex is VERY intense and you won’t want it for more than a few minutes.  Done correctly, it is very pleasurable for both partners and can be an interesting variation on your regular lovemaking.

A note to my male readers:  If your wife or girlfriend doesn’t want to try anal, don’t coerce her because if she gives in just to placate you she will NOT be able to relax and it will be a bad experience for both of you.  Tell her you would like it, ask her to consider it and even show her this column, but beyond that leave it alone.  If she agrees, follow her instructions exactly and don’t hold back once she tells you to start stroking, but climax as soon as the urge strikes you; anal sex is like cheesecake, best enjoyed in small servings.

Would you rather have a guy who was well endowed but so-so in bed or smaller but a studly lover?  I’ve always wanted to ask a lady who knew what she was talking about and I consider you a subject matter expert.

Thanks for the vote of confidence!  It’s hard to answer that because it really depends on so many factors.  I personally am not really a connoisseur of male sexual skills; I just enjoy being “screwed into the mattress” as Amanda Brooks says.  But many other women do appreciate technique.  Plus, if I’m in love with a man none of that matters two cents, and I’m not remotely alone in that opinion.  In the final analysis, only guys with really, really tiny cocks need to worry about the issue at all, and even a man like that could be compatible with a woman who loves cunnilingus above all else.

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Why is it constantly necessary to do something to people? If we can’t do something for them, when are we going to learn to let them alone? Or must this incessant interference, this meddling, this mauling and manhandling, go on in the world forever and ever? –  Samuel Milton Jones, mayor of Toledo, Ohio c. 1900

Today’s column is yet another collection of short articles on whores which have appeared in the news media recently; what can I say?  If the mainstream media would talk to us as often as they talk about us public ignorance (and with it official persecution) would’ve been swept away long ago.  This first item is paraphrased from an article in The Telegraph of Monday, October 25th:

For Their Own Safety

Spanish streetwalkers along a rural highway outside Els Alamus near Lleida in Catalonia have been ordered to wear fluorescent yellow bibs or pay fines of 40 euros under road traffic laws; police claim the sex workers on the LL-11 road are not being specifically targeted because of what they do but because they pose a danger to drivers.  The prostitutes are in breach of a 2004 law which states that all pedestrians on major highways and hard shoulders must wear the high visibility garments.  A spokesman for the regional police force said: “In the past couple of months the prostitutes have been fined for two reasons: for not wearing the reflective jacket and for creating danger on the public highway.”

Despite police claims, the order comes suspiciously soon after recent legislation in Els Alamus which bans prostitutes from soliciting in public urban areas; Mayor Josep Maria Bea has been accused of mounting a campaign to drive the sex workers out of the area.  An estimated 300,000 women work as prostitutes in Spain, where prostitution is not illegal but “living off the avails” is.  Streetwalkers on roadsides outside towns and cities are a common sight across Spain, and a recent survey found one in four Spanish men admitted to having paid for sex.

Apparently, Spanish men are either liars or the survey actually asked if they had paid recently.

Charlie Sheen, well known as a regular patron of hookers, was in the news again recently for going on a cokehead rampage and scaring the hell out of the working girl who was with him at the time.  The following article was paraphrased from a New York Post article of October 26:

Charlie Sheen Trashes Hotel Room

Charlie Sheen, who left rehab only two months ago, allegedly trashed his room at The Plaza Hotel in the process of attempting to find his wallet and cell phone while high, authorities said.

Hotel security called police just after 2 a.m. after a prostitute called the front desk from the famed Eloise Suite and reported that Sheen had gone on a rampage and then passed out on the bed.  Tables and chairs had been thrown around the room and a chandelier was also damaged, sources said; the damage to the luxury suite reportedly totaled about $7,000.

The star of the TV show Two and a Half Men was accompanied to New York Columbia Presbyterian Hospital by his ex-wife Denise Richards, who was staying in a separate room on the hotel’s 18th floor, sources said.  Sheen was discharged from the hospital Tuesday night and is slated to return to rehab; he was only a week away from completing his probation, but told cops he was “out partying” and drinking and had snorted cocaine before he started tweaking, the source said.  Sheen’s rep later claimed the actor was taken to the hospital after an allergic reaction to medication.  Sheen was not injured, but checked himself into the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation.

Apparently, Sheen noticed his wallet and cell phone were missing soon after returning to the room with the escort and flew into a rage, sources said.  The girl then called the front desk and reported that she feared for her life; a source for Life and Style magazine said, “Charlie was incoherent but started screaming slurs at the cops. They recognized him immediately and gave him two options: they could take him to the hospital or take him down to the station. Charlie chose the hospital.”  NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said no complaints were made and there was no arrest.  Sheen was not expected to face any criminal charges.

Ah, cokeheads; once they start tweaking they get paranoid and then it’s best just to leave.  I think it’s worth noting that if a hotel room was trashed by a coked-up non-celebrity, both he and the hooker would’ve been taking a ride downtown rather than offered a ride to a hospital.  However, I’ll forgive Charlie because he’s the only famous man I can think of who had the balls to refuse to apologize and beg for forgiveness when caught with whores in the past.  And when he was being sentenced for using a prostitute, the judge asked him why a man like him would have to pay for sex; Charlie replied: “I don’t pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.”  Perhaps the judge is living in a fantasyland where men can get sex for free, but Sheen is smart enough to realize that only hookers come without strings.

Two Arguments About “Trafficking”

On October 20th this column was published in the Huffington Post; I’m not going to quote it because it’s just the usual farrago of lies claiming that suppressing prostitution is a good way to control the bogeyman of “human trafficking”, but following the link is worth your time for several reasons.  The first is that the author, a graduate student at  NYU (which could just as accurately called “PCU”) who clearly wouldn’t know a call girl if one sashayed up and snogged her, is obviously repeating the latest, trendiest party line from her PC articles and texts, which happens to be “Nordic Model” propaganda.  The second is that the comments (including one from yours truly) is almost unanimously anti-prohibitionist and condemnatory of the lies this silly little girl thought she could spread with impunity (judging by her increasingly flustered responses to the comments).  Though Huffington Post tends to be very pro-personal rights and has printed a number of pro-prostitution columns in the past, it still pleases me to see so many people recognizing that a woman’s right to control her body does not exclude sex.

Even more heartening is this article entitled “Sex Trafficking: The Abolitionist Fallacy”  which one of the commenters linked; it was written last year but is still perfectly topical.  Its author, Ann Jordan, is the director of the Program on Human Trafficking and Forced Labor at the Center for Human Rights and Humanitarian Law, American University Washington College of Law.  She is thus a respected expert in the REALITY of sex trafficking and a staunch anti-abolitionist; she even co-authored a letter to the U.S. federal government asking it to reconsider its prohibitionist policy, though as you might expect that has fallen on deaf ears.  Still, it’s good to know that there are at least a few bona fide experts who recognize the prohibitionist propaganda for what it is and are willing to say so loudly and publicly.

Escorts.com Raided by FBI

The Philadelphia offices housing Escorts.com (a popular escort advertising site) and HotMovies.com, an adult video-on-demand provider, were raided by 100 FBI agents on Wednesday morning (October 27th).  The FBI tried to pretend that the raid was pursuant to pornography charges and most sources of this story make that claim, but local cops who assisted in the raid leaked the information that “it was conducted in connection to an investigation into a prostitution ring.”  The Philadelphia bureau of the FBI would not confirm this, but reiterated previous reports that no one was charged or arrested in connection with the raid.  They also said that no news would be forthcoming from the FBI; “Any information about the raid will only come from the U.S. Attorney’s office, not our office,” said the chief agent.  “And it will probably not be today, or for quite a while.”  The PR officer for the US Attorney’s office in Philadelphia said even less;  “Our office does not confirm or deny the existence or non-existence of investigations,” she said.  CBS affiliate CBS Philly is reporting, however, that the raid was related to a prostitution ring investigation, but had no other information.

Clearly, somebody in the FBI wants to look good to the lowbrows, bluenoses and neofeminists right before election day; “prostitution ring” is cop jargon for an escort service or internet escort review and/or advertising site.  By calling it a “ring” rather than a business, they hope to convince ignorant people that the escorts and owners are criminals (as in the term “drug ring”).  If any of my readers advertise on Escorts.com, I suggest you cancel your ad immediately and do NOT under any circumstances see any clients calling from that ad.  The FBI now has your information and will almost certainly be attempting to “sting” you so they can make a big show of arresting “human traffickers”.

Another Porn Influence

In yesterday’s column I talked about how fads which first appear in porn often work their way into the mainstream (such as complete removal or pubic hair).  Well, here’s the latest example:  Labioplasty, in other words cosmetic alteration of the labia.  I decided to link the article rather than paraphrasing it because I want to use it to make another point:  Note that the author makes the ignorant but increasingly common mistake discussed in my column of September 25th, using the word “vagina” to mean “vulva”.  She keeps using the term “vagina sculpting” when she obviously means “vulva sculpting”; nobody can see what her vagina looks like without gynecological tools.  There is such a thing as vaginoplasty, but it’s a different operation altogether and has nothing to do with appearance.

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Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: A woman having large breasts makes men stupid. –  Rita Rudner

I can thank my mother for a small waist, but unfortunately the tits which came with it were equally small.  And though lots of people of both sexes told me it didn’t matter, to me it did; I started wearing padded bras in high school and over the years tried every herbal supplement and exercise I heard of to make the damned lazy things get bigger.  But it was no use; whenever I took a shower I would stand there looking in the mirror at what looked like two fried eggs stuck to my chest, and more often than not would sigh, try to convince myself that they really did look OK, or even scream “Grow, damn you!  Why can’t you GROW?”

I eventually stopped shouting at them and resolved myself to the fact that as happy as I was with my figure in every other way, I was going to be stuck with these absurd little-girl titties until I could afford a boob job, which wasn’t going to happen on a librarian’s salary.  A stripper’s income is far more generous, however, and eventually (after I had paid off all my outstanding bills) I realized that I had enough spare cash to finally buy the Holy Grail I had not-so-patiently awaited for some 15 years.  So I looked through the plastic surgeons’ ads in the phone book and called a few board-certified ones for quotes; though I am thrifty to a fault I wasn’t just going to pick the cheapest one for something like this.  I asked questions and consulted my gut, and the one I got the best feeling from actually was the least expensive of the really good ones; he achieved the savings by performing his surgeries at a surgery center on the Northshore rather than in a hospital in Greater New Orleans, which resulted in my saving over $1000 even though his own professional fees were comparable to those of the other surgeons.

So I plunked down my $3900, picked my size and scheduled my surgery for the following week; my friends all thought I was insane for choosing to go up SIX cup sizes, from not-even-A to DDD.  But I ignored them; I had spent plenty of time padding up my bosom, then putting on tops and looking at myself critically in a mirror, and I knew it would look good and right.  When the big day came Grace drove me across the Causeway before dawn (why do surgeons insist on operating so damned early?) and then went to breakfast with a friend; it was my idea, since there was little point in her waiting around until I woke up.  Anesthesia does not agree with me; I was as sick as a dog all day long, but though I faded in and out of consciousness and periodically stumbled to the bathroom to throw up, I couldn’t help but be stupidly happy.

Even the pain (which wasn’t so bad except when I elected to breathe) couldn’t ruin my mood, and as the weeks went by that quickly lessened.  My friends all admitted that they had been wrong, and that I had picked the perfect size for my figure; my new tits balanced my hips and bottom perfectly and made my waist look even narrower, and my clothes looked spectacular.  I had never had so much confidence in my physical charms, and I’m sure it was projected to the men around me because I honestly feel as though I was more attractive to them during that year than at any time in my life before or since; I’ve always been described with words like “stunning”, but now people were using terms like “drop-dead gorgeous”.  And I’m sure it was almost entirely due to the fact that I was at long last truly comfortable with my body.

I say “almost” because I must give credit where it is due; my plastic surgeon, Dr. S, is an absolute master of his art, and he felt that he had outdone himself in my case; he even asked if he could use my “before” and “after” pictures at a conference (I of course agreed).  He gave them a beautiful, natural shape which IMHO has only improved over the past decade as gravity causes them to settle into a less globular form and the scars faded into total invisibility.  Indeed, their appearance is so natural that I’ve actually had men take them for the home-grown variety.  But I’m nothing if not honest, and whenever a man made such a statement I always corrected him.  Nor would I lie when asked, though I must admit I had fun with the question; I answered “Are they real?” with, “Well, they certainly aren’t imaginary!”  My reply to “Are they natural?” was “Well, they aren’t supernatural!” and my favorite permutation, “Are they yours?” was answered with, “They had better be, I sure paid enough for ‘em!”

Most men of course recognized them for implants for the simple reason that, as natural as they look, no woman over the age of 16 could possibly have big hooters which are as perky and firm as mine are.  The dead giveaway is that when I lie on my back, they don’t droop to the sides as unaugmented mammaries do.  But with rare exception, men don’t seem to care; artificial or not, they drew plenty of compliments.  The most appreciative audience of all, though, were physicians; they not only enjoyed them as men, but also appreciated the surgical skill which crafted them.  New Orleans has been called “the biggest small town in the world” with good reason; everybody knows everybody, especially in professional communities.  So when I disrobed in front of a client who was a medical man, the first words out of his mouth were often “Who did your tits?” and of course I told him because I knew he might end up purchasing a boob job for his wife one day and I wanted to give Dr. S the advertising.  Once I did a bachelor party for a doctor; the only non-physician in the room was his brother, and after I had finished my dance and show I was of course confronted with the inevitable question, followed by a number of the guests asking if they could examine them (for purely professional reasons, of course).  I just agreed and rolled my eyes while being groped from both sides, and everyone laughed and complimented me on being such a good sport.

It wasn’t just men who appreciated them, though; wives in couple calls were often fascinated by them, as were strippers or other escorts whom I met in multi-girl calls.  And at Mardi Gras of 2005 I had a particularly memorable encounter with a beautiful nurse.  I was there on Bourbon Street with my husband and a friend of his who had never been to a Mardi Gras before, and as usual I was flashing my tits at every opportunity.  I’m always amused by the bluenoses who simper about how awful it is that “women expose themselves for a set of plastic beads” on Fat Tuesday; it never occurs to these lemon-suckers that we flash our tits because it pleases us to, not to get the silly beads!

Anyhow, I had just put my top down after one such showing and a lovely woman walked up to me and said, “Excuse me, but when you flashed a minute ago my boyfriend missed it; would you mind showing them again so he can see?”  Well, I wasn’t about to let such feminine coolness go unrewarded, so I of course repeated the performance.  They both complimented me on them, and she asked if she could touch them; I agreed and the intake of breath from fifty male spectators was audible.  Again she told me how beautiful they were, then came the classic question: “Who did them for you?”  It turned out she was not only a nurse but worked at the very surgery center in which I had the operation, and when I told her my surgeon’s name she exclaimed, “Oh, I love him!  He’s so nice, and I’ve always said if I ever had mine done I would want him to do them for me!”

“Well, I can definitely recommend him; you can see what good work he does,” I said.  Now, picture this scene; here are two beautiful women standing in a crowded street in broad daylight, the first with her blouse pulled up while the second holds her tits and the two carry on a lively conversation oblivious to several dozen appreciative male onlookers.  Only in New Orleans!

After a few minutes, she let go of my boobs and I dropped my top, and we hugged and kissed and I wished her and her man a happy Mardi Gras.  And as we turned to go, my husband’s friend said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes I wish I were a woman.”  We laughed and I assured him that I understood.  Though neither prudes nor neofeminists comprehend or accept it, there is a power and joy in unashamed female sexuality that is like nothing else I know on Earth, and I thank Dr. S and his masterful technique for giving me the confidence to experience it.

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What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman. – Lord Byron

Tomorrow I’ll be doing a question and answer column, but there was one query which I realized needed a column all to itself because the answer really isn’t as interesting as the question.  It was, “How can you tell a transsexual from a biological woman?”  Most of my female readers probably consider the answer to be obvious, but since many of my male readers may be equally convinced that it isn’t I think it’s best to examine the reasons for the question before moving on to the answer.

You would probably have to have lived at the bottom of the sea for your entire adult life to be unaware that some people born male are, to one degree or another, uncomfortable in their gender role; obviously some born-female are as well, but while many women who feel that way attempt to deny all gender by becoming neofeminists, men adopt a variety of behaviors ranging from cross-dressing to sex-change surgery.  Women who cross-dress for sexual reasons are pretty rare and female-to-male transsexuals are unimportant to this  discussion, so when I use the term “transgender” in this column it will heretofore mean only a male-to-female transsexual.  The term “transgender” started out as an umbrella term for many kinds of gender nonconformity, but has settled in to basically mean what used to be described by the term “transsexual”.

Most cross-dressers are perfectly happy being male; they are not attracted to other men and their attachment to women’s lingerie probably arises from the same murky swamp of male sexuality as so many other “perversions” do.  Indeed, most escorts have probably encountered clients who ask if they can wear women’s lingerie during sex or even answer the door in such garb without asking first.  I never had a man surprise me that way, which is a good thing because my feelings on it would be the same as mixing BDSM with full service; I just can’t let a man inside me if I can’t take him seriously.  Dominatrices cater to clients who wish to be “forced” to cross-dress as a BDSM “punishment”, and some of these men even derive a sexual thrill from going out in public and attempting to pass as women.

But that’s not the same thing as a transwoman, who actually feels uncomfortable as a male and really wants to be a woman.  There are three types of transsexuals, Type 1, Type 2 and Extreme; as Dr. Helena put it, Type 1 transsexuals feel as though they are women in men’s bodies, Type 2 transsexuals only think they feel as though they are women in men’s bodies, and extreme transsexuals actually are women in men’s bodies.  Type 1 transsexualism appears to derive from some childhood environment which stunted the development of a male self-image and caused the transsexual to pattern his psyche on strong female role models, while Type 2 appears to derive from trauma which causes the transsexual to reject his male identity.  And extreme transsexualism (AKA gender dysmorphia) appears to derive from neurological causes which actually program a biological, XY chromosome male to think and feel like a woman, though he still has a physically and hormonally normal male body.  At one time strict standards were in place to allow all extreme transsexuals and those Type 1 cases who could learn to live and behave like women to be recommended for gender reassignment while prohibiting Type 2 cases from doing so, but in recent years “queer activists” and easy international travel have combined to wreck or circumvent many of the safeguards which were designed to keep disturbed individuals from implementing irreversible changes to their bodies and later regretting it.  Gender reassignment does not consist merely of sex-change surgery; it requires years of hormone therapy and electrolysis to remove his beard and other female-inappropriate body hair, and the candidate who wishes to do it by the numbers rather than simply flying to Thailand has to undergo years of psychological therapy as well.  The costs of all this are astronomical, many tens of thousands of dollars, so a certain percentage of transsexuals turn to prostitution (generally at the street level) to earn it.

So in any large city, there is a small population of prostitutes, mostly streetwalkers, who dress as women but are not biologically female.  Some of these are transsexuals earning their fees, while others are simply ordinary homosexual prostitutes who dress in drag; since all of these individuals lack female equipment they generally work at the low end where they can make a living only providing oral sex (unlike escorts, whose clientele presumes that full service is on the menu if desired).  Traditionally these drag prostitutes did not openly advertise their masculinity (though it was generally obvious to those with eyes to see), but in modern times the internet has provided them with a venue to seek out those men who actually want to have sex with pre-operative transsexuals (also called “she-males” or “chicks with dicks” by their aficionados).  But while some men actively seek transsexuals and some don’t care if only oral sex is involved, a much larger percentage are repelled by the thought of sexual contact with a male, however disguised, and in a few this goes beyond mere aversion to active concern.  For whatever reason, these men are haunted by the thought that a prostitute they hire might be a post-operative transsexual.

Let’s face it; men really don’t look much like women.  Even with padding in the right places they’re taller and larger, their faces, shoulders and waists are wider, they have thicker skin and deeper voices and hair everywhere, and their mannerisms aren’t much like those of women even when they try.  In Hollywood comedies, men often dress as women and succeed in fooling everyone, but in the real world someone encountering the title character from Tootsie would be more likely to say, “Why is Dustin Hoffman in drag?” than “Wow, what a babe.”  Normal men do not have access to Hollywood makeup artists and are seen from every angle rather than photographed in carefully-planned shots, and real people can’t help noticing the heavy theatrical makeup men need to cover their beard stubble.  Even drag queens who perform in clubs benefit from dim lighting conditions and the distance of the audience from the stage.  As I said above, transsexuals are physically and hormonally male; even years of hormone therapy and full-body electrolysis cannot erase greater height and larger bone structure, and once the larynx expands during puberty not even voice lessons can disguise the male vocal timbre.

Yet the myth persists; some men are absolutely convinced that a large percentage of escorts are actually post-operative transsexuals, and that it’s difficult to tell even when naked in the same bed with them!  I suspect this idea is really just an exaggeration of the fact that some streetwalkers are either pre-operative transsexuals or drag queens, and the fact that a blow job from a fully-dressed streetwalker in a dimly-lit car is a far cry from a full-service call with a naked escort in a well-lit hotel room gets lost in the paranoia.  Tourists to New Orleans, with its large homosexual population, seem especially worried about this; every week at least two or three guys, always tourists, asked if the girl I was about to send was a “real” girl, and every so often the number of such inquiries would explode for a few days (presumably after some “cautionary” TV show aired or magazine article was published).  In truth, I knew of exactly four transsexual prostitutes in New Orleans; three were streetwalkers who worked out of the seedy Tulane Motel and one was an escort whom I never met, but was described to me by Doug as looking “like a stevedore in drag.”  Despite the popular myth of their prevalence in the Big Easy, no service with which I was connected could even supply a transsexual hooker if a client wanted one!

But let’s assume for the sake of argument that a post-operative transsexual whore was short (by male standards), slender, possessed of very fine features and a high-pitched voice, and had received sufficient hormone therapy to give her a feminine shape and soft skin, and enough electrolysis to absolutely remove all facial hair and unfeminine body hair; are there any unalterable characteristics which would still allow one to tell that she was not biologically female?  Obviously fleshy tissues can be surgically altered, but bone structure cannot, and there are a few such ways in which the average woman differs from the average man.  The most obvious is in the proportional size of the hands and feet; even a short man tends to have larger hands and feet than a woman of the same physical size.  The necks of women are proportionately longer and more slender than those of men, and this cannot be altered even if the Adam’s apple is shaved down.  Also, women are leggier than men; though my husband is 8” taller than I am my waist is only barely below his, and I’m sure many of my readers have made comparable observations with their spouses.  Finally, the index fingers of women are generally the same length as our ring fingers or slightly longer, while those of men are usually shorter than the ring finger.  Of course none of these are foolproof tests; Uma Thurman has huge hands and feet, as did Jackie Kennedy Onassis, and I’m sure there are some men whose hands and feet are as small as a woman’s.  I’ve met men with long, slender necks and women with bull necks, and I had a friend whose legs were so short that even though we were the same height standing, she was noticeably taller when sitting.  And some studies suggest lesbians have longer ring fingers than other women, so that their hands are of similar proportions to those of men.

The short answer to my correspondent’s question, then, is that though there is no foolproof test, there are a few which would usually serve to allow a post-operative transsexual to be told apart from a woman of similar size and build.  But I have a rhetorical question for you:  Far be it from a bisexual woman to presume to understand a heterosexual man’s thinking, but why does it really matter?  If your escort looks, sounds, acts and performs so much like a woman that you need some sort of Blade Runner replicant test to tell the difference, then what is the difference?  If you were looking for a wife and planning to have kids I could see how it would be important, but for an hour’s diversion why is that particular aspect of an escort’s medical history more important than any other?  You’re not going to turn gay from unknowingly copulating with her, so I don’t think I’m out of line in saying that when it comes to whores, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.

UPDATE:  Since I first wrote this column, my thinking on the subject has evolved considerably; I now realize that despite the positive ending, I inadvertently perpetuated some harmful stereotypes and slurs in the text.  See “Due Consideration” for further discussion, and please accept my sincere apologies for the unintentional negativity.

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