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Posts Tagged ‘Presents’

Readers, Clients and Patrons

Posted in Miscellaneous, tagged , , , on April 13, 2017| 4 Comments »

Three years ago, when I was about to launch my first book tour, I wrote:

In days of yore, artists tried to attract patrons; that is, noblemen or other wealthy individuals who would give them money to live on.  The artist was expected to produce poems or paintings or concerti or whatever for the patron, and the rest of the time (barring the occasional cathedral ceiling or requiem mass) was left to putter on his own to produce Great Things; the best patrons required little in return for their generosity, while others were more demanding.  Modern governments and corporations still give out grants, but since these are determined by bureaucratic politics or commercial considerations it isn’t really the same; these entities tend to expect certain results, and on a timetable at that, so there’s little room for the recipient to follow his own path while somebody else pays the bills…

Since then, my husband and I have parted ways, and I’ve returned to work full-time.  And while I’m taking steps to reduce my expenses, it’s still very nice to see my whoring income supplemented in other ways.  Of course y’all know about how to subscribe to my blog, and how to send me gifts; my new book will be coming out soon, and I’ve discussed the range of appointments and engagements available even to those who live far away from me.  Lately, Lorelei Rivers & I have even discovered that many people seem to enjoy contributing to our Sunday night Doctor Who dates by buying us dinner and other gifts (those who do receive a special extra-nudie cheesecake pic taken on the night we enjoy your gift).  But now I’d like to make it easier to make merchandise (such as books, T-shirts and whatnot) and donations available; I’m therefore considering a commercial website on which to sell my stuff.  I already own a number of domains with similar names, but I’m hopeless when it comes to actually creating websites; I’m therefore looking for some generous reader with the necessary skills to build me a small e-commerce site on which I can list the merchandise I currently have available, and add other things as I think of them (such as signed nude photos, posters of Chester Brown’s awesome art for my book covers, and anything else my whorish brain can think of).  If you know how to do this and would like to volunteer your time, please contact me; I’m looking for someone who’s willing to take on the whole project, so please don’t just email me and say “Oh, bizdalek.com is a really easy solution to exterminating your e-commerce woes,” because if you do I shall surely put a curse on you with my Evil Eye.  I am an idiot when it comes to building sites, which is why it took me literally years to try out WordPress for this blog (and if anything I find the prospect more daunting now than I did in my early forties).  No, what I’m looking for is someone willing to make a gift of his time and expertise to help me out, and be thereby forever inscribed on the rolls of top patrons of my work.  If that’s you, please e-mail me!

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Diary #352

Posted in Diary, Perception, tagged , , , , , on March 28, 2017| 2 Comments »

I’ve begun to notice lately that I’m seeing a lot more gentlemen who have either never seen an escort before, or did so such a long time ago that they no longer have references; a lot of them are very, very nervous due to all the pogroms and client persecution, and some are even confused by the propaganda.  So though they’d like to see a lady, they’re worried about being tricked by evil thugs and having their lives destroyed, and some are concerned that the propaganda might even be true (if exaggerated).  And so they go on the internet looking for answers, and find yours truly; they often read my writings and take comfort in the straight talk I dispense, and even if they don’t do that they can recognize that I am a well-established lady who’s been doing this for half a lifetime, and I’m certainly not any kind of scam artist or bait in a police trap.  And so they contact me; sometimes they’re so nervous they want to pay my social rate to meet for an hour in public first, and that’s just fine.  In fact, such a meetup can serve as a screening for a gent without references; another way I screen first-timers is to simply collect payment in advance so there’s no exchange at the time of our meeting.  And after they see me, my referral can open other doors for them.  I’m really glad for this rather unexpected side-effect of my relative fame; if I can help gentlemen in need, that’s a really wonderful feeling for me.  It’s also a testament to the power of social media; guys who read my blog long enough or follow me on Twitter feel as though they know me, and a lot of the nervousness associated with meeting a sex worker for the first time is bypassed.

Speaking of social media, it seems as though half of everybody now knows that Lorelei Rivers and I have a standing Doctor Who date every Sunday night, so we’ve decided to regularly tweet cheesecake pictures taken at the time.  We’ve even started getting gifts specifically geared to the event; one gentleman paid for our dinner this past Sunday, and an extremely generous gentleman even got Lorelei a new TV set specifically to improve our viewing experience!  So thanks very much to those gents for those gifts, and it goes without saying that we welcome more such!  But one thing we won’t welcome is people trying to make appointments with us during our special time, so please don’t ask; we will, however, welcome duo requests for most other times during the week.  Seriously, guys, the team of Rivers & McNeill is one that will rock you like you’ve never been rocked before; you should deeply consider booking us together.  It’s an experience so out of this world it almost qualifies to be a fantasy adventure show of its own! 

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Diary #350

Posted in Diary, tagged , , on March 14, 2017| Leave a Comment »

I really like this picture someone took of Joy de Vive and I at the Harlot’s Ball weekend before last, so I’m sharing it because I didn’t last week and it IS my blog, so I can do what I like.  A generous reader sent me another new dress, but unfortunately I guessed wrong on the size so I’ll have to send it back to switch it for a medium.  See, that’s the problem with women’s sizes; the dress in this picture is a size small, and as you can see it fits me perfectly.  But though the new one is also a small and fits my hips and waist perfectly, it…well, in the words of Sol Finer, “There is no way this zipper is going to close with those massive boobs in the way.”  So let’s see what a medium looks like (le sigh).  Anyhow, there aren’t any pictures I can share from any of last week’s activities, which included a good amount of work (including two sessions with a great new client…hi there sugar!), no fewer than FOUR dinners with awesome whore friends, my usual Sunday Doctor Who evening with Lorelei, the previous evening spent watching a really weird movie while stoned with another whore friend, lots of driving around Seattle in the rain, and getting behind on my writing.  But work on my new book cover is progressing, my secret project reached another milestone, and my tolerance for liquor seems to have dramatically increased because I can now have two cocktails with dinner and barely even feel it.  Ah, well, c’est la vie.  And one last thing:  I’m probably going to tour in May, and I’m going to decide where by how many gents contact me from any given city; the first place to offer me three bookings wins. So if you want to see this stellar bod up close & personal, email me ASAP and let me know where you would like me to visit!

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Diary #346

Posted in Diary, tagged , , , on February 16, 2017| Leave a Comment »

My postlady brought me all sorts of lovely things this week; first and foremost among them was a package containing Chester Brown’s beautiful cover art for my new book, The Forms of Things Unknown.  By the time you read this I should have hired a digital artist to do the color and layout, and after that it won’t be long before I start putting the book together!  Other packages, from a new reader who prefers to remain anonymous, contained a book about Doctor Who, a complete collection of Leonard Cohen’s studio albums, a big bag of licorice candy and this rather stunning dress, which I’ve already worn for an appointment with a very lovely couple!  I also got a good bit of self-care in last week, caught up on my writing, completed another step in my secret project and got a good bit of paying work in, so all in all it was a very productive week (despite Seattle being largely at a standstill a week ago Monday due to overnight snow).  This week: more selfcare, more work and more playing catch-up, and speaking of paying work you only have 12 more days to take advantage of my two-librarian special with Lorelei Rivers!  Seriously, gents, this is not an opportunity to miss; we will shush you like you’ve never been shushed in your entire life!  For details, email me at my work address.  And don’t be overdue!selfiecamera_2017-02-13-17-48-47-408

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Diary #344

Posted in Diary, tagged , , on January 31, 2017| 1 Comment »

Asselfiecamera_2017-01-30-20-23-03-087 I explained on Thursday, my trip got more difficult after I left northern New Mexico on Tuesday.  But I made it home safely (if exhausted) Wednesday night and hit the ground running on Thursday; I’ve had a full calendar since then, which is a very good thing even if it did slow my writing catch-up.  But I’m back to three columns ahead, and by this time next week I hope to have it back to five.  I’ve also received Chester Brown’s art for the cover of The Forms of Things Unknown and as soon as it’s colored and the blurbs are in place, I’ll be ready to compile the book and start the proofing process.  Another thing I received by post recently was this lovely red dress from my Amazon wishlist, courtesy of a reader named Michael; if you send me another one (there are several on the list) I’ll post the pictures in an upcoming diary.  Oh, and if you prefer to give me money in exchange for services, I should probably point out that Lorelei Rivers and I are doing a two-librarian special for the entire month of February.  If you’re in a position to take advantage of that, email me for details; we promise you an unforgettable experience!

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Diary #340

Posted in Diary, tagged , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2017| 1 Comment »

Theselfiecamera_2016-12-28-18-53-58-928 holidays were absolutely lovely; Grace and I got to spend a lot of time with my friends, who are quickly becoming her friends as well.  And that’s a wonderful thing; there is very little in the world more rewarding to me than when two people I like meet and become friends with each other.  We’ve spent nearly every day visiting, attending small parties, going to dinner with people, getting high and otherwise celebrating, and even though I need to put her on a plane tomorrow I don’t feel that same sense of profound sadness that I did last year at this time.  That’s because I’m committed to our plan that will allow us to see a lot more of each other in the coming year than we have in the past two; I have a really good feeling about it, and I’ll let you know more as it unfolds.

Of course, the holidays weren’t all fun and debauchery; I worked a good deal as well (including catering to a gentleman’s librarian fantasy, as you can see in the picture), and I’ll be leaving for my tour a week from today.  My San Francisco calendar is pretty full up, but I may be able to fit one more appointment in if you’re flexible; I still have pretty good availability in most of the other stops except Phoenix, so if you want to see me (and especially if you want to take advantage of the special) you need to contact me by this weekend at the latest.  I’m thinking about rerouting my return trip to stop in Salt Lake City instead of Denver; whichever of those cities books an appointment first will win the stop!  Last but not least, thank you so much to Celos for sending me the Universal classic monster movie collection!  If anyone else wants to send a late Christmas present from my wishlist, I promise I’ll overlook its tardiness.

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Diary #338

Posted in Diary, tagged , , , , , , on December 20, 2016| Leave a Comment »

img_20161214_180002This last week before Grace arrives has been pretty busy.  Besides work, trying to get as ahead as possible on my writing, holiday prep and activism (including Saturday’s December 17th vigil and an interview for Nightline about the TRB shutdown), I’m working on the final pre-composition stages for The Forms of Things Unknown.  Once Chester Brown gets me the cover art I’ll need to have it colored, then compile the virtual book in CreateSpace software before proofreading it completely and then having a proof sent out.  I’ve also had a number of beauty appointments lately, such as my most recent trip to the stylist; she talked me into letting her blow my hair out, and I liked it so much (you can see why in the picture) that I think I’ll let her do it every time I go.  It’ll be interesting to have relatively-straight hair for two days every eight weeks!  I’m also preparing for my January tour, for which I’ll leave only a week after Grace goes back to the ranch; if you’re interested in seeing me in one of the cities I’ll be visiting, you need to let me know ASAP.  To encourage you, I’ll give you a special rate (see that link for details).  And on top of everything else, I made some hard but necessary decisions last week which I’d rather not discuss just yet, but which I’ll be telling you about later (probably in the spring or early summer, as plans mature).  Anyway, Grace arrives tomorrow and I’m more than ready for some celebrating and relaxing, though I will still be taking appointments throughout the holidays because bills don’t take days off.  And if you’d like to send me a gift as Skye did (thank you for the Scary Stories Treasury!) you can either consult my Amazon wishlist or just donate via PayPal toward my beauty fund.  ‘Cause I ain’t gettin’ younger, y’all, and all this pulchritude takes maintenance!

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Diary #336

Posted in Diary, tagged , , , on December 5, 2016| 1 Comment »

the-story-of-sexI’m currently in the proofreading stage of preparing The Forms of Things Unknown; the foreword and all the story introductions are done except for the introduction to the first story, for the simple reason that I haven’t written it yet.  I simply haven’t had an idea that has gelled into a tale, and I want to do an original to open this collection (as a bookend to the final tale, which I wrote in ’93 but have never shared with y’all).  But don’t worry; as y’all probably know I’m a very fast writer, so once the story forms in my mind it will be typed out, placed, edited and introduced within 24 hours.  Chester Brown is working on the cover art (and his preliminary sketches are very exciting!) so I’m hoping to have both content and art ready by the end of the year, and to be compiling and checking the proofs (first digital, then physical) by the beginning of the year.  Fingers crossed!  Speaking of books, last week I received a gift from long-time reader Korhomme:  The Story of Sex, which combines one of my favorite topics with one of my favorite media.  Thank you!

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Diary #331

Posted in Diary, tagged , , , , on November 3, 2016| 4 Comments »

time-lady-maggie-10-27-16Last week was full of lovely distractions, mostly Halloween and birthday-related.  And I conveniently had a day of rest between each one to recover before the next!  On Thursday there was a fairly large costume party for the sex worker community; my costume consisted of a steampunk leather corset that Jae found for me at Goodwill (she has rather a knack for that) and a faux-suede skirt, with my snakeskin boots.  I declared that I was a time traveler; what I was thinking of is the way that Time Lords and Ladies in Doctor Who always seem to dress a bit out of synch, with clothes that don’t quite fit any particular time period.  On Saturday, the party came to me; I don’t think I ventured out of my door the whole day, but several friends dropped by to celebrate my birthday with me, bearing cake, candy and intoxicants.  It was just so lovely; the love and acceptance in the room was like a living force, and you may get some idea of what it was like by looking at this tweet thread.  And my hangover the next day wasn’t even that bad!  On my birthday, a portable DVD player arrived via post for me, courtesy of regular reader Ivan Dragomiloff; that’s going to come in handy considering I didn’t have any way to play the DVDs other readers and clients have given me lately!  I then spent the evening with the lovely Lorelei Rivers, who cooked dinner for me and indulged me by watching a couple of my favorite horror movies, The Black Cat and The Haunting.  Tomorrow I’ll be flying to Oklahoma City to speak at a one-day event on anarchism; if you would like to see me there, you need to let me know today (the only times I’ll have available are Friday and Sunday afternoons).  Since I’ll be so close to home, I’m having Grace pick me up for a one-day visit Sunday, then I’ll be flying back to Seattle on Monday.  Oh, and while we’re on the topic of my work:  remember, my readers-only special expires three weeks from today, so if you want to take advantage of that you need to act soon!

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Diary #320

Posted in Diary, tagged , , , on August 16, 2016| 1 Comment »

selfie 8-12-16An awful lot of stuff happened last week, but unfortunately I can’t tell you about most of it yet.  There was a conference call I can’t tell you about yet, and I was consulted about an unpleasantness I can’t tell you about yet, and there were some developments in a project I can’t tell you about yet, and of course I can’t tell you about anything that happened with clients (though there were several notable developments, most of them good).  Then there were some other things I could tell you about but would rather not, and a couple of others I might like to tell you about, but you wouldn’t understand or wouldn’t care.  So even though I was so busy last week I barely had time to breathe, there’s very little to report in this column.  I’m going to dinner tonight with a young sex worker who flatters me by listening to my war stories, and I’m getting yet another beauty treatment on Thursday.  Last week I did receive a very early birthday present from Jeremy Dunn, the book you see me holding here (which was the most recent addition to my Amazon wishlist), and on Sunday my book became available on Walmart’s website, which I’m hoping generates a lot of sales!  But I’m afraid that’s pretty much it for this time, except for announcing that I’m going to be in New York City from September 14th to 19th, so if you’d like to see me in that time you’ve got less than a month to let me know!

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