I have a follow-up question to your column of September 11th, in which a male reader asked how he could get an interested woman to accept money for sex. It’s kind of the flip-side: how to get an interested man to pay for sex? I am fine with it being labeled as prostitution, but I think a lot of men aren’t comfortable with the idea of direct payment. However, I’m done giving it away; I have invested a lot into my appearance & intelligence, and loans and hair don’t pay for themselves!
When I was working and a strange man started flirting with me in some public place, I just gave him a card. My cards were very simple, with just the name of my service, its website address and the phone number. They were, however, obviously not cut-rate cards; they were glossy black with purple text, and plasticized on the front side. So though they didn’t actually say much in text, their subtext was obviously THIS WOMAN IS NOT CHEAP. The tactic rarely yielded a completed appointment; few of them called, and most of those who did couldn’t afford it. But despite the low success rate from a financial point of view, it was worthwhile to me because it got them to stop wasting my time with a quiet but unmistakable “put up or shut up.” Or expressed more politely, “your move.”
Now, I have many fine qualities, but sexual subtlety is not among them. When describing my looks people often use adjectives like “stunning” or “striking”, and with good reason: my sex appeal is about as gentle and understated as a brick to the face, and some men have even described me as “intimidating”. So while handing a man a business card and responding to his “Is this what I think it is?” with a straightforward “yep” worked well for me, it might not fit your style at all. Furthermore, since I gather from your question that you are new to this, you’d probably be pretty uncomfortable with the brazenness of my strategy, which (as explained above) is much better at getting rid of would-be Casanovas than it is at turning them into clients. I’ve never had the patience to cultivate individual men; I’ve always preferred to just spin my web and wait for the guests to arrive. So I think the best thing to do here is turn this one over to the commentariat: Ladies, how would you go about letting a flirter know that there’s a charge for what he’s seeking without scaring him off?
(Have a question of your own? Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)
Strikes me that an implicit part of the question in many jurisdictions might also be “How do I make it clear that the flag is up on the meter without spending the night entertaining the vice squad?” – whether because it’s an undercover entrapment (and you’re not cop sensitive) or there’s a risk of an offended Casanova dogging on you.
BTW, nice pet.
What sort is it?
It’s not a pet; it’s a rat snake I was in the process of removing from my henhouse. They’re useful for killing vermin, but unfortunately they also steal eggs and will strangle pullets (young hens) if they can get to them, which means protecting them until they’re too large to constrict (about ten weeks old). It also means removing the snakes to as distant a place (I usually take them to the barn, about 400 meters away) as possible, several times a month during the spring and a few times over the summer.
BTB, that picture was taken by my friend Grace; the funny part is neither of us were trying for anything sexy. I just happened to be dressed like that, and she was trying to focus on the snake.
Wait, there’s a snake in the picture? 🙂
I’m Australian.
We always see the snake in the picture.
Otherwise we don’t get old enough to notice the other things.
I can believe that. There was a special the late Steve Irwin did on the five most deadliest snakes in the world, and they were ALL Australian.
Nine of the top ten most venomous animals in the world are Australian. Or to put it another way, nine of the top nine most venomous animals in the world are Australian.
I think that the animals bit there works with both spiders and snakes inserted.
Two and a half weeks in Australia taught me how to notice snakes and spiders at ALL times. Did not help my arachnophobia one bit, but I still love snakes though. 😀
Hah!… I grew up in the Amazon jungle. I always see the snakes too. 🙂
Must be a bit easier when they’re ten metres long.
They are not all that big. 🙂 There are some that are weird and will play dead if you just poke them with a stick. There are others that will chase you down like a bushmaster. Others are almost as poisonous as the ones in the land down under such as the fer-de-lance. They are not always on the ground either. You have to pay attention to any tree you walk past.
At least they don’t fly.
Not in the Amazon, nor Australia. OTOH, there are flying snakes in southeast Asia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chrysopelea
I guess the good news is, they’re only a little venomous.
I’m a little surprised Australia doesn’t have venomous birds.
Oh you big liar! We can all see the baby oil strategically rubbed into the cleavage!!
Sunscreen, sweetie. That skin doesn’t stay alabaster in summer without SPF 60.
LOL – I keep looking at that pic and I’ll be damned if I can see a pet in it! Am I looking at a different picture? 😀
I was being diplomatic when I said “pet”.
I thought “familiar“.
🙂
I was wondering why she’s got to hold it like that. It appears to be a ball python, and those guys are cupcakes. My burmese python is really passive, too. Just don’t get between him and food. Just like me.
It’s a Western rat snake, pantherophis obsoletus. One of their defenses when very frightened is to vomit up a bunch of really nasty white stuff, so as to scare a predator into dropping them. So I hold them like that just in case, though I’ve only had one do the vomit trick once (despite removing them literally dozens of times).
Incidentally, another defense when confronted is to flatten their heads, and still another to whack their tails rapidly against dry leaves so as to imitate a rattler (and even if one knows better the sound can take one off-guard).
I just chop ’em up with a shovel. 😀
Maggie , just out of curiosity , you said many couldn’t afford it. I hear a lot about high priced escorts, but what does that mean? Like $1000.00/hr, or several thousand a night BC one has a several hour minimum? I’m guessing the latter is less likely BC many don’t have time to waste. Just curious what very high end prices are?
“Couldn’t afford it” doesn’t mean “high priced”. Escorts are hired by men with disposable income – and the amount they have varies from one moment to the next. If a guy isn’t used to hiring escorts – he probably doesn’t have any money set aside to hire one at the drop of a hat.
As far as “high priced” … Maggie can address that based on her opinions – but as a guy who’s hired many and interfaced with other men who do also … I would say that at the current moment, in my area, “high priced” is anything over $300 per hour. Many guys are disdainful of even paying $300. This is why guys use stupid tactics to get cheaper rates … like “cultivating” strippers or joining in the crap shoot known as “Backpage”.
“High Priced” varies by location and sometimes a cheaper rate somewhere else actually produces a better experience. For instance – in New Orleans – the most common rate is $300 per hour – with $200 for each additional hour. So $500 for two hours (this doesn’t include the tip though). Honestly – I get off on “average” women as well as exceptionally “hot” women – and most of the NOLA gals are “average” women.
But if you go to an FKK in Germany, specifically OASE outside Frankfurt – you will have your pick of up to 100 smoking hot – model quality – nearly flawless women. And their rates are commonly around … $135 per hour for protected sex, some unprotected oral … with no other “extras”. And yes, they are usually full “GFE” and they are fully naked the moment you meet them – so no surprises. It’s an incredible experience and no man should ever DIE before experiencing this. It should be number one on every dood’s bucket list. I go there about once a year and I practically SHAKE with joy while I’m there! LOL.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the more “average” and older women in my own area – I certainly do – I LOVE THEM! But for me – looks are just a bonus. My buddies jokingly call me “hack saw” – because I will “cut through” anything! LOL
Krulac’s answer is a good one. It’s not really about the price, it’s about how much they have in their discretionary budgets. A lot of guys on business trips afforded me by simply using their per diem and then eating McDonald’s for the rest of the trip.
But you would have been considered “high priced” by a lot of guys standards in NOLA during the time you were working here – which was a good while ago – and only now are most of the other girls in this area starting to match the rates you had then.
Sounds like a reasonable allocation of funds. I completely agree that it is about disposable income. Many people have trouble finding even $50 extra to spend, because all they earn is already allocated to something.
BTW, $300/hr is not that much for a competent professional. I am doing IT consulting at the upper end of the competence spectrum, and that is about as much as my hour costs. (Well, not quite, but you have to buy several days at least and you get nowhere near the personal service for it 😉
The main thing is to budget and if you want to develop a good professional relationship being reliable is also good. I used to make a visit once a month every month, and I was strict not to do more than that unless it was a special occasion. (My birthday, for example, or I got a bonus at work.)
This was mainly to make sure I didn’t overdo it. I loved it so much I felt like I needed to stay in control, and maybe was more strict than I needed to be.
I also tended to eventually settle on one lady and just see her every month instead of seeing a variety of women. People sometimes think I have a dull personality, but I preferred someone who knew me and liked me (at least) and knew my quirks.
I could have written all that. I’m only out there paying a lady once a month. I have one girl I routinely see – I love her to death – and I’m loyal to her and won’t pay any other girl more than I pay her. I DO see other girls from time to time – maybe 3 or 4 others per year excluding my trips to Germany – where I always try to see at least six “new” girls each time – but usually I only make it to three because ones I’ve already seen are still there and they talk me into going with them – which I happily do. They’re all my little Romanian girlfriends! 😀
Then I have this other “problem” with free women … but that’s another story.
Yeah, it’s like anything else really. Even people who like to gamble will be alright if they stick to a limit and don’t go over it.
Maybe I’ll think of an answer to this question but right now I’m having a hard time getting past the picture…
“…my sex appeal is about as gentle and understated as a brick to the face…” 😉
That photo calls urgently for a poem. It’ll have to be very short:
All I can do
Is count to two.
“Gentle and understated” are fine, no doubt. But thank God, say I, for a brick to the face every now and then.
…what *is* that picture? I’ll have to see what all the fuss is about when I get home, since I have all the images on here suppressed at work, for obvious reasons. 🙁
It’s just me holding a snake. Seriously. These gentlemen just like flattering me. 🙂
Speaking of snakes, what are the chances that the letter writer’s flirter is a cop?
Only she can answer that. I never flipped a guy a card until I was already quite satisfied he wasn’t one by getting him to talk about his job.
Isn’t that an insult to snakes?
I have no clue how to answer this one. Outside of clients, I’ve rarely been approached by men I didn’t know. I don’t think I give off that approachable vibe except for the bravest or craziest. One guy told me that I was all boobs and eyes and he wasn’t sure where to look. And another one told me that my name (the full legal one) made me sound like a British aristocrat. Ha! Actually, I get that last one a lot.
Previous lovers/boyfriends were classmates or those I was “friends” with before. Oh and one of my professors. The professor is one that I said needed to start paying a rate (since he was married), and he did, but then his ego got in the way and I gots to steppin’.
One of my biggest breakthroughs was when I realised the most beautiful women are sometimes the loneliest just because most guys are so certain of rejection they won’t even approach or are so self conscious they just make fools of themselves.
Of course the problem with having a really beautiful girlfriend is that so many other guys then have to try to prove they’re better than you – often by picking a fight.
Aww, that’s sweet! And I also think you’re correct. For a little while, when I had low self-esteem, I had convinced myself that I was ugly. But then I really took a considered look in the mirror and realised that I’m not ugly at all. I have been called intimidating before. And not in the “I’ll beat you up” sort of way.
There’s apparently a late French singer named Sacha Distel, and some Euro-types I’ve met, have done a double take when they heard my name. I can see why they’re confused: I’m neither male, nor French, nor have I EVER sung “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head”.
A name popped up in my Facebook feed that was so magnificent I just had to click on it to find out more. It sounded like some unholy glorious love-child of a Bond villainess and a pörn star.
You sure about that Sasha?
After ‘South Pacific‘ there’s very little you could do to surprise me.
South Pacific is a great work of American art, notwithstanding the tiresome bleats from leftist cultural types claiming that All American Culture Is Lowbrow Crap.
Women who I’ve known in real life who knew I was into them and wanted financial help from me usually just came out and said things like, “Can you pay my rent this month?”
But this is nothing like a client/escort relationship as much as it was me having too much money and being a sucker for a pretty face. If they had suggested an “arrangement” I might have been shocked… even though I had already been seeing escorts for years. I’m not sure what the best approach would have been, but I’d probably have been hurt that she didn’t consider me boyfriend material. (Oh, also, I don’t cheat, so since I’m no longer single there is only one lady I ever take to bed. I know I’m kind of boring that way.)
Anyway, it was basically no different then when some of my other friends asked for help and I was in good financial shape. Heck, even in bad financial shape I “loan” people I care about money knowing I’ll likely never see it again. It’s a sickness really.
However, I have a friend who had a mistress for many years who he spent lots of money on… but he would’ve kicked her to the curb immediately if he found out she was seeing anyone else. (His wife eventually put a stop to it anyway.)
Pretty nail polish!
“Letting a flirter know that there’s a charge for what he’s seeking without scaring him off” is not a situation I have been in and therefore I have no advice to offer.
I always do some sort of light blue in June. Near Halloween, it’s always black.
Happy Halloween!
This picture makes me glad that I checked back here later in the day!
Wow — here I am making a second comment today. But somehow, it just seems imperative to try to keep this comment thread going, somehow. Thanks so much, Maggie, for keeping America beautiful!
Wait — I’m sorry, I should have asked a question. Such as: “What color nail polish do you use around, say, Valentine’s Day?” Please illustrate!
Most excellent. I’ll keep asking you about nail polish, and you can illustrate your replies with topless photos.
Fellow commenters, you owe me. 😀 😀 😀
My debt is cheerfully acknowledged.
This one’s not topless, but it’s another snake-themed one, with lavender polish.
Well, the first one (far above) wasn’t topless either. Toplessness is very good, but by no means essential. I think the camera likes you, no matter what the situation of the moment. And good lord, but it’s easy to agree with the camera. Clearly, I was shamefully wasting my time while you were in the business. Ah, the bittersweet regrets with which this life abounds!
What nail polish? 🙂
Time to pop-up again into comment-land.
Maggie, you, and all of your co-sisters of honest horizontal work are not the problem , imho.. At least you are not a problem at all to any money-savvy, worldly-wise, completely normal guys who just happen to need to get off with a female of his own species (that is not also plotting to rob him} once in a while.
One day Salvidor Dali tried to explain his work and his art [While drunk}. He said(more or less). “The Difference between insanity and Dali is that I am Dali.”
Ms. H. Maggie Courtesan, you are a seriously extreme outlier. In my limited experience.
God be praised….
I might be taken aback by such an abrupt brush-off (and for a guy of my income bracket, it’s a total brush-off), but I would still find it preferable to the lady who pretends interest while dropping subtle hints and getting pissy when I don’t pick up on them. Ladies, we men are INFAMOUS for not getting hints. So cut it out already or, if not, at least drop them expecting that they probably won’t be picked up on.