The Honest Courtesan

As regular readers know, it’s always been extremely difficult for me to relax; my brain never stops and rarely slows, and if I don’t keep it occupied it tends to veer off into things I prefer it not to think about.  That means I can’t concentrate when there are distractions, and being “in the moment” is impossible without the help of drugs or other means of altering brain chemistry.  So as you might expect, just letting go and allowing someone else deal with stuff has never been my strong point, especially since most of the people in my life have always relied on my hypercompetence and therefore entrusted all the preparation and administration to me.  I’ve always been the mommy, the planner, the Girl Friday, the designated driver, the navigatrix, the detail-noticer, the problem solver, the solution-finder, the bearer of burdens.  But over the past few years I’ve been fortunate enough to find myself in a circle of extremely competent women, and I’ve learned that it’s safe to trust them to deal with things when they volunteer to do so, rather than having to take care of everything myself.  Traveling with Lorelei is a special delight; she thinks of all the details I’d think of plus some, and isn’t afraid to delegate back to me if she needs help.  On our recent eclipse trip, she did everything from booking the lodging to plotting our route, and I was happy to be her passenger and companion and help out when needed.  This whole “letting go and enjoying the ride” thing is pretty novel for me, but I’m really beginning to enjoy it; maybe it’ll even help to reduce my stress levels in the long run.